good evening
I just got home from seeing John Hodgman speak at the Borders down the street from me. It was amazing. Let me relate my experience to you.
cptmoll and I got to the Borders a bit early and were looking around downstairs. There was a bin of sale DVDs, and I found a copy of the Collectors Edition of Jurassic Park on sale for $9.99, and since I don't own it on DVD, I decided this was a good chance to buy it. I also picked up a copy of America: The Book Teachers' Edition, since it too was on sale. These two items I carried with me to the event; this becomes important later.
We headed upstairs then to find the reading area, and once we get up there we hear an announcement by John Hodgman himself advertising the reading, as well as free hotdogs. We managed to snag seats fairly close, which was good. John was talking to some folks in the front row, and to the rest of us as well, about various and sundry things, including computer games, the pride of Chicagoans in their city, and how he doesn't care about sports. There was apparently this guy who had seen him downstairs beforehand and said "hey, you're on TV." John had convinced him to come upstairs to the reading, but the guy was really weird; he was the one who initiated the conversation about baseball, and he also asked John what his experiences were like in New York on September 11. Erm, yeah. John fielded that one ("yes, that topic provides for great warm up material") and said if he really wanted to know he could ask during the Q&A at the end. He made another announcement and introduced his friend Jonathan Coulton, a singer-songwriter who travels with him and does songs during the reading.
Jonathan played a couple of songs, both of which were hilarious; one was about "My Millionaire Girlfriend" and the other a love song written by a mad scientist. Then John did his thing, talking and doing some readings from his book. He had us all recite the Six Oaths of a Virtuous Child, where he said a line and we said it back to him. Early on the hotdogs arrived; yes, the free hotdogs were no joke, they actually had free hotdogs for us from the Weiner's Circle down the street. They were pretty tasty. He of course did a lengthy section on Hobo Matters, explaining that originally the Hobo material in the book was for a PBS Ken Burns-style documentary on Hoboes in which people, primarily himself, would be talking while the camera panned over a single photograph of a Hobo, with folk music in the background. This plan was foiled, however, by the fact that Hoboes do not appear on film. He then replicated the experience (minus the photograph, of course), with Jonathan Coulton accompanying him. At one point he talked about the Hobo symbols, called for a stick of chalk and drew the H-in-sunrays on the front of the podium. John took a little break to eat his hotdog (or to "try and find the hotdog among all the salad on top", they were true Chicago hotdogs) and Jonathan played a version of Big Rock Candy Mountain with new verses. He finished up with a Hobo poem, and then introduced the Q&A.
The Q&A was conducted through walkie-talkies; one was passed out into the audience, and John held the other. You had to remember to say "over" at the end of your question, and to use the call button to indicate there was a question. The first question was "Who invented the walkie-talkie?", to which John made up an answer. There were other various questions; John talked to the guy with the Sept 11 question, who had yet to eat his hotdog, and John suggested he eat the hotdog instead of ask that question.
Then it was time for the signing, so we all lined up to get him to sign stuff. He's a very personable guy, actually, and was talking to everyone quite a bit. They passed back post-it notes and pens to write our names on so he could personalize everything easier. When I got up to him he shook my hand, introduced himself (heh) and said his nice-to-meet-yous. I had given him my hardback copy to sign, even though he was promoting the new paperback edition and the audiobook version. He saw the other items in my hand, first the America: The Book, the title of which was facing outward, and noted that he liked my other selection as well, but why wasn't I buying his audiobook? I explained that I had bought the hardback when I was a poor college student (one of his selling points of the paperback is that poor college students can now afford it). But then ... (writing it down in this form because the conversation is kind of long; obviously somewhat paraphrased)
John: What else have you got there?
Me: Well I have Jurassic Park...
John: What? You don't need that! It's on every weekend on TBS! Why are you buying that and not the audiobook version of my book? Give me that. *takes the DVD and throws it behind him*
Me: But I'm a paleontologist! I should have a copy of it.
John: *exasperated* ARGH, YOU HAD TO PLAY THE PALEONTOLOGIST CARD! Alright, alright, let me... *tries to get the DVD behind him*
Jonathan (who's sitting next to him): Do you want me to get that for you? *picks up and gives me the DVD*
John: How much is that? Ten dollars? If I give you ten dollars, will you buy my audiobook?
Me: I will indeed.
John: Alright, geez, the things I have to do... *gets out his wallet* You don't have change for a twenty do you?
Me: I only have a five...
John, to Jonathan: Do you have change? Or a ten?
Jonathan: I see, you want me to pay her so she can buy your book... no, I don't have anything.
John: DOES ANYONE HAVE TWO TENS? *no one in line does apparently*
Jonathan: *laughing* Just give her the twenty.
John: Oh for Christ's sake, here *hands me the twenty*
Me: Well you can have the five at least. *Borders salesman hands me the audiobook at this point*
John: So you're a paleontologist, do you know Don Lessem?
Me: I do.
John: His daughter came up to me at a signing and was like *pointedly* "Do you know who my father is?" He's apparently very popular with children.
Me: Yeah, he is.
John: What's your speciality? Let me guess, dinosaur bones? (note: I was not wearing a dinosaur t-shirt, fyi)
Me: Well yeah...
John: But what's your favorite period?
Me: I like all of them, but I guess I like the Jurassic best.
Jonathan: That's the best period.
Me: I also like to study all the predatory dinosaurs.
John: *signing the book, writes "I hope you find a living dinosaur"*
Me: You know, they're in your back yard. Birds are living dinosaurs.
John: *looks exasperated again* You people! *writes in large letters "NOT BIRDS"*
Me: *laughing* Alright.
John: Here, where's your audiobook, I'll sign that too.
Me: *handing it to him* Ok, but it's still in shrinkwrap.
John: I'll get it... *struggling*
Borders Saleswoman: Here, I have a key *struggles more*
John: *to the rest of the line* Sorry folks, we'll have this soon.
Borders Saleswoman: *finally gets it open and hands it to him*
John: *writes "I hope it was worth it"*
Me: Oh, it definitely is.
Then cptmoll got her new paperback copy signed, and they had a conversation about how her name sounds like "Mayor Daley" when pronounced wrong (he wrote "The Mayor" in her book). He also asked if she was an ancient Gaelic druid, and about her t-shirt, which had a nifty illustration on it (he asked if it was Marcel Ozama, who did the illustrations for TMBG's Bed Bed Bed, but it wasn't).
Later, when we were walking around outside in the neighborhood, we passed him again; he said hello to us and said nice to meet you again.
So. I am in total heaven. John Hodgman gave me $15! He was amazing and funny and it was totally awesome to see him out of character. I am so in love with him. And I'm totally going to see him tomorrow night too. He said that if we came to the event tomorrow he'd sign our books again. FInally, here are my signed items; true to his wacky nature, he doesn't sign like most people.
Signature on my book.
Signature on the back of the audiobook.
cptmoll and I got to the Borders a bit early and were looking around downstairs. There was a bin of sale DVDs, and I found a copy of the Collectors Edition of Jurassic Park on sale for $9.99, and since I don't own it on DVD, I decided this was a good chance to buy it. I also picked up a copy of America: The Book Teachers' Edition, since it too was on sale. These two items I carried with me to the event; this becomes important later.
We headed upstairs then to find the reading area, and once we get up there we hear an announcement by John Hodgman himself advertising the reading, as well as free hotdogs. We managed to snag seats fairly close, which was good. John was talking to some folks in the front row, and to the rest of us as well, about various and sundry things, including computer games, the pride of Chicagoans in their city, and how he doesn't care about sports. There was apparently this guy who had seen him downstairs beforehand and said "hey, you're on TV." John had convinced him to come upstairs to the reading, but the guy was really weird; he was the one who initiated the conversation about baseball, and he also asked John what his experiences were like in New York on September 11. Erm, yeah. John fielded that one ("yes, that topic provides for great warm up material") and said if he really wanted to know he could ask during the Q&A at the end. He made another announcement and introduced his friend Jonathan Coulton, a singer-songwriter who travels with him and does songs during the reading.
Jonathan played a couple of songs, both of which were hilarious; one was about "My Millionaire Girlfriend" and the other a love song written by a mad scientist. Then John did his thing, talking and doing some readings from his book. He had us all recite the Six Oaths of a Virtuous Child, where he said a line and we said it back to him. Early on the hotdogs arrived; yes, the free hotdogs were no joke, they actually had free hotdogs for us from the Weiner's Circle down the street. They were pretty tasty. He of course did a lengthy section on Hobo Matters, explaining that originally the Hobo material in the book was for a PBS Ken Burns-style documentary on Hoboes in which people, primarily himself, would be talking while the camera panned over a single photograph of a Hobo, with folk music in the background. This plan was foiled, however, by the fact that Hoboes do not appear on film. He then replicated the experience (minus the photograph, of course), with Jonathan Coulton accompanying him. At one point he talked about the Hobo symbols, called for a stick of chalk and drew the H-in-sunrays on the front of the podium. John took a little break to eat his hotdog (or to "try and find the hotdog among all the salad on top", they were true Chicago hotdogs) and Jonathan played a version of Big Rock Candy Mountain with new verses. He finished up with a Hobo poem, and then introduced the Q&A.
The Q&A was conducted through walkie-talkies; one was passed out into the audience, and John held the other. You had to remember to say "over" at the end of your question, and to use the call button to indicate there was a question. The first question was "Who invented the walkie-talkie?", to which John made up an answer. There were other various questions; John talked to the guy with the Sept 11 question, who had yet to eat his hotdog, and John suggested he eat the hotdog instead of ask that question.
Then it was time for the signing, so we all lined up to get him to sign stuff. He's a very personable guy, actually, and was talking to everyone quite a bit. They passed back post-it notes and pens to write our names on so he could personalize everything easier. When I got up to him he shook my hand, introduced himself (heh) and said his nice-to-meet-yous. I had given him my hardback copy to sign, even though he was promoting the new paperback edition and the audiobook version. He saw the other items in my hand, first the America: The Book, the title of which was facing outward, and noted that he liked my other selection as well, but why wasn't I buying his audiobook? I explained that I had bought the hardback when I was a poor college student (one of his selling points of the paperback is that poor college students can now afford it). But then ... (writing it down in this form because the conversation is kind of long; obviously somewhat paraphrased)
John: What else have you got there?
Me: Well I have Jurassic Park...
John: What? You don't need that! It's on every weekend on TBS! Why are you buying that and not the audiobook version of my book? Give me that. *takes the DVD and throws it behind him*
Me: But I'm a paleontologist! I should have a copy of it.
John: *exasperated* ARGH, YOU HAD TO PLAY THE PALEONTOLOGIST CARD! Alright, alright, let me... *tries to get the DVD behind him*
Jonathan (who's sitting next to him): Do you want me to get that for you? *picks up and gives me the DVD*
John: How much is that? Ten dollars? If I give you ten dollars, will you buy my audiobook?
Me: I will indeed.
John: Alright, geez, the things I have to do... *gets out his wallet* You don't have change for a twenty do you?
Me: I only have a five...
John, to Jonathan: Do you have change? Or a ten?
Jonathan: I see, you want me to pay her so she can buy your book... no, I don't have anything.
John: DOES ANYONE HAVE TWO TENS? *no one in line does apparently*
Jonathan: *laughing* Just give her the twenty.
John: Oh for Christ's sake, here *hands me the twenty*
Me: Well you can have the five at least. *Borders salesman hands me the audiobook at this point*
John: So you're a paleontologist, do you know Don Lessem?
Me: I do.
John: His daughter came up to me at a signing and was like *pointedly* "Do you know who my father is?" He's apparently very popular with children.
Me: Yeah, he is.
John: What's your speciality? Let me guess, dinosaur bones? (note: I was not wearing a dinosaur t-shirt, fyi)
Me: Well yeah...
John: But what's your favorite period?
Me: I like all of them, but I guess I like the Jurassic best.
Jonathan: That's the best period.
Me: I also like to study all the predatory dinosaurs.
John: *signing the book, writes "I hope you find a living dinosaur"*
Me: You know, they're in your back yard. Birds are living dinosaurs.
John: *looks exasperated again* You people! *writes in large letters "NOT BIRDS"*
Me: *laughing* Alright.
John: Here, where's your audiobook, I'll sign that too.
Me: *handing it to him* Ok, but it's still in shrinkwrap.
John: I'll get it... *struggling*
Borders Saleswoman: Here, I have a key *struggles more*
John: *to the rest of the line* Sorry folks, we'll have this soon.
Borders Saleswoman: *finally gets it open and hands it to him*
John: *writes "I hope it was worth it"*
Me: Oh, it definitely is.
Then cptmoll got her new paperback copy signed, and they had a conversation about how her name sounds like "Mayor Daley" when pronounced wrong (he wrote "The Mayor" in her book). He also asked if she was an ancient Gaelic druid, and about her t-shirt, which had a nifty illustration on it (he asked if it was Marcel Ozama, who did the illustrations for TMBG's Bed Bed Bed, but it wasn't).
Later, when we were walking around outside in the neighborhood, we passed him again; he said hello to us and said nice to meet you again.
So. I am in total heaven. John Hodgman gave me $15! He was amazing and funny and it was totally awesome to see him out of character. I am so in love with him. And I'm totally going to see him tomorrow night too. He said that if we came to the event tomorrow he'd sign our books again. FInally, here are my signed items; true to his wacky nature, he doesn't sign like most people.
Signature on my book.
Signature on the back of the audiobook.