"Empty Insults," for rurounihime
Title: Empty Insults
Author: Roux (ruadhseron@aol.com)
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: PG
Draco awoke to the feel of a nice tickling sensation roving around his bare stomach. The thought of Harry's lightly tanned finger sketching lines and patterns on his flesh made him squirm with complete contentment. With eyes still closed he rolled himself onto his side and leaned back until his spine nudged Harry's chest. As if on cue, Harry's arm snaked over Draco and his knees drew up to line the backs of Draco's legs. Harry barely had to lean his head forward to press a kiss onto Draco's back. Draco breathed a small sigh and backed into Harry even more, asking the length of Harry's body to envelope his own.
"So you're awake then?" Harry's breath made a small patch of warmth on Draco's skin.
Draco smiled, knowing Harry would be able to hear the smile in his voice as he answered. "Why would you think that?"
"Well..." Harry began as his left hand continued tracing shapes along Draco's torso. "you do occasionally roll around in your sleep, but usually only when you're drunk or really fretful about something."
"And you're sure I wasn't drunk last night?"
"Definitely not," Harry said. "The amount of alcohol you had wouldn't be enough to knock out a lightweight pixie. But besides making me scared to death that you've been petrified every time you fall asleep, you're also really quiet. You never make involuntary noises, like sighs, unless you're awake and comfortable in your surroundings. That's why I like you better this way."
Draco's smile vanished. "What do you mean by 'comfortable in my surroundings?'"
Harry was so taken aback by the faint chill in Draco's voice that his finger froze in place and his muscles tensed reflexively, drawing his body away from Draco's warmth.
"I mean," Harry said quietly, trying to return them to their earlier comfortable atmosphere, "that when you're with other people you seem to guard yourself and not show your emotions. Even when you can't control your actions, like when you're asleep, you still somehow act reserved. It's only when you're awake and we're alone that you actually show emotion. And I was saying before that I like you best when you're not worried about other people and you just act naturally."
Despite Harry's casual tone, Draco could still hear the small edge to his voice. He turned around so he could watch Harry's face and better evaluate his emotions. "And that bothers you, does it?"
"Of course it does!" Harry spat out, ignoring Draco's eyes watching his every move. "You act all sweet and adorable when we're alone, but then the second anyone else appears, even an owl delivering the post, you just close up."
"And what am I supposed to do?" Draco asked with a sneer. "Should I passionately kiss you in the middle of Diagon Alley so the whole wizarding world, including my parents, can witness a profession of my undying devotion to you?"
"At least it would be better than lying to them," Harry replied angrily.
"I'm not lying," Draco said firmly. "I'm simply not telling them the whole truth. It's natural to act differently around different people because you're not supposed to tell everyone everything. It's natural for us to act dirty with each other, but then afterward you're not going to go tell your grandmother all the juicy details about our sex life, are you?"
"I don't have a grandmother," Harry said quietly.
"That's irrelevant and you know it, Harry. You're not going to tell the Weasleys about the time we went skinny-dipping just as I'm not going to tell my parents about this relationship because it's better that they don't know. It's not my fault that I have to always guard myself to protect my family's reputation, but just because you're lucky enough to not have to worry about pleasing your parents doesn't mean you can get off criticizing me for my familial obligations."
"Lucky enough?" Harry yelled. "You think that my parents dying was a good thing?"
"I never said that," Draco snapped. "Just stop being immature and realize that having your parents back wouldn't make everything perfect. Bad always goes along with the good and if they were here you'd have to deal with the bad parts just like I'm dealing with the bad parts of my parents now. So stop feeling sorry for yourself so you can understand that I can't help having to make a conscious effort every time I want to show emotion, and that just because I have to act like a Malfoy in public doesn't mean that I want to, it's just what I have to do and you have to either accept that or let it go."
Harry opened his mouth as if he were going to reply, but closed it when he saw Draco's self-satisfied expression. He instantly swallowed the rest of his childish retorts, knowing Draco would shoot them down effortlessly. But he couldn't help cautiously venturing, "If every time someone's watching you start calling me 'Potter' again and treat me like a first-year, I don't think this relationship will get very far."
Harry's head was bowed and Draco couldn't detect whether he meant the comment as a statement or a threat. "I'm sorry, Harry" he said quietly, reaching out his hand to lightly stroke Harry's arm. "I don't want to treat you like crap, except when you start flat-brained arguments like this one." Draco smiled wryly. "But if I don't act cautious so other people don't find out, our relationship has a smaller chance at survival than it would if I occasionally had to fling insults at you; insults which you and I both know I don't take seriously and wish weren't necessary."
Harry nodded. "You do know that they still hurt? Even if they are empty, they're still from you."
"Yeah," Draco said. "I know. But we just need to take what we can get, at least for now. Maybe later we'll be able to do things in public together, or maybe go on vacation to some remote island and just not come back. But that's too far in the future, Harry. We should only worry about the present." Draco leaned forward so his lips brushed Harry's earlobe as he spoke. "Right now, Harry," he whispered, "no one's watching."
Author: Roux (ruadhseron@aol.com)
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: PG
Draco awoke to the feel of a nice tickling sensation roving around his bare stomach. The thought of Harry's lightly tanned finger sketching lines and patterns on his flesh made him squirm with complete contentment. With eyes still closed he rolled himself onto his side and leaned back until his spine nudged Harry's chest. As if on cue, Harry's arm snaked over Draco and his knees drew up to line the backs of Draco's legs. Harry barely had to lean his head forward to press a kiss onto Draco's back. Draco breathed a small sigh and backed into Harry even more, asking the length of Harry's body to envelope his own.
"So you're awake then?" Harry's breath made a small patch of warmth on Draco's skin.
Draco smiled, knowing Harry would be able to hear the smile in his voice as he answered. "Why would you think that?"
"Well..." Harry began as his left hand continued tracing shapes along Draco's torso. "you do occasionally roll around in your sleep, but usually only when you're drunk or really fretful about something."
"And you're sure I wasn't drunk last night?"
"Definitely not," Harry said. "The amount of alcohol you had wouldn't be enough to knock out a lightweight pixie. But besides making me scared to death that you've been petrified every time you fall asleep, you're also really quiet. You never make involuntary noises, like sighs, unless you're awake and comfortable in your surroundings. That's why I like you better this way."
Draco's smile vanished. "What do you mean by 'comfortable in my surroundings?'"
Harry was so taken aback by the faint chill in Draco's voice that his finger froze in place and his muscles tensed reflexively, drawing his body away from Draco's warmth.
"I mean," Harry said quietly, trying to return them to their earlier comfortable atmosphere, "that when you're with other people you seem to guard yourself and not show your emotions. Even when you can't control your actions, like when you're asleep, you still somehow act reserved. It's only when you're awake and we're alone that you actually show emotion. And I was saying before that I like you best when you're not worried about other people and you just act naturally."
Despite Harry's casual tone, Draco could still hear the small edge to his voice. He turned around so he could watch Harry's face and better evaluate his emotions. "And that bothers you, does it?"
"Of course it does!" Harry spat out, ignoring Draco's eyes watching his every move. "You act all sweet and adorable when we're alone, but then the second anyone else appears, even an owl delivering the post, you just close up."
"And what am I supposed to do?" Draco asked with a sneer. "Should I passionately kiss you in the middle of Diagon Alley so the whole wizarding world, including my parents, can witness a profession of my undying devotion to you?"
"At least it would be better than lying to them," Harry replied angrily.
"I'm not lying," Draco said firmly. "I'm simply not telling them the whole truth. It's natural to act differently around different people because you're not supposed to tell everyone everything. It's natural for us to act dirty with each other, but then afterward you're not going to go tell your grandmother all the juicy details about our sex life, are you?"
"I don't have a grandmother," Harry said quietly.
"That's irrelevant and you know it, Harry. You're not going to tell the Weasleys about the time we went skinny-dipping just as I'm not going to tell my parents about this relationship because it's better that they don't know. It's not my fault that I have to always guard myself to protect my family's reputation, but just because you're lucky enough to not have to worry about pleasing your parents doesn't mean you can get off criticizing me for my familial obligations."
"Lucky enough?" Harry yelled. "You think that my parents dying was a good thing?"
"I never said that," Draco snapped. "Just stop being immature and realize that having your parents back wouldn't make everything perfect. Bad always goes along with the good and if they were here you'd have to deal with the bad parts just like I'm dealing with the bad parts of my parents now. So stop feeling sorry for yourself so you can understand that I can't help having to make a conscious effort every time I want to show emotion, and that just because I have to act like a Malfoy in public doesn't mean that I want to, it's just what I have to do and you have to either accept that or let it go."
Harry opened his mouth as if he were going to reply, but closed it when he saw Draco's self-satisfied expression. He instantly swallowed the rest of his childish retorts, knowing Draco would shoot them down effortlessly. But he couldn't help cautiously venturing, "If every time someone's watching you start calling me 'Potter' again and treat me like a first-year, I don't think this relationship will get very far."
Harry's head was bowed and Draco couldn't detect whether he meant the comment as a statement or a threat. "I'm sorry, Harry" he said quietly, reaching out his hand to lightly stroke Harry's arm. "I don't want to treat you like crap, except when you start flat-brained arguments like this one." Draco smiled wryly. "But if I don't act cautious so other people don't find out, our relationship has a smaller chance at survival than it would if I occasionally had to fling insults at you; insults which you and I both know I don't take seriously and wish weren't necessary."
Harry nodded. "You do know that they still hurt? Even if they are empty, they're still from you."
"Yeah," Draco said. "I know. But we just need to take what we can get, at least for now. Maybe later we'll be able to do things in public together, or maybe go on vacation to some remote island and just not come back. But that's too far in the future, Harry. We should only worry about the present." Draco leaned forward so his lips brushed Harry's earlobe as he spoke. "Right now, Harry," he whispered, "no one's watching."