001 ⇒ Why ask for directions when you've got a map, dammit?

[hokurobeam]

action a

[ Outside 310 Miller Street, there is a girl cleaning the front porch and taking out the trash... Yes, this is the first thing she does in the morning. Nope, not concerned about where she is yet. Look, housemates! She even made you breakfast. It's all laid out for you guys on the table. Eat up

Comments

phone

[pseudoll]

We're in America. [Yup out of all of that this is what she chooses to answer.]

[hokurobeam]

Understood. My present location is 8821 kilometers away from Japan.

... I feel faint.

[pseudoll]

You can't leave though.

... are you alright?

[hokurobeam]

My thought processes halted abruptly, but I am well. The information did not cause severe damage to my hardware.

There is no other exit?

[animalhusbandry]

Unfortunately, EXP is rather hard to come by in this place. There aren't very many randomly spawning monsters, and fetch quests are only given by the other PCs. There's always crafting for experience, but everyone knows that's the slowest way to go about things. It's getting to be a real problem.

[hokurobeam]

Ah, is that so? That is a problem indeed. In the meantime, is there a king I can talk to so that I may save my game?

[animalhusbandry]

[Finally, someone who speaks his language.]

There's no king here, only a Mayor. And I can't say I recommend dealing with him. But you'll be pleased to know that there is a respawn rule in effect here, and it doesn't even cost half your money to come back from death.

[hokurobeam]

It appears I have forgotten my wallet...

Nevertheless, am I correct to assume that there is a church in the vicinity?

phone

[cruelmiracle]

An unusual version of America, Earth, this place replicates the 1950s and you will find no internet, your body has become human, there is no method of escape at present, this world does not use a system of EXP.

[hokurobeam]

... By human, do you mean one who often experiences spending several painful hours in the bathroom straining his muscles as he takes a dump, only realizing that he requires a roll of tissue paper after he is done excreting his waste?

[cruelmiracle]

That is one symptom of being human, though I'm sure you could learn to avoid that.

[hokurobeam]

Is there any way to turn me back, miss?

action a.

[madeofstoic]

[ Oh, a new not!daughter. He figured something was up, when breakfast seemed to be made so early in the morning.

Hi, Tama. Have your new fake father, standing in the doorway. ]

...I don't think that's quite healthy, Miss.

[hokurobeam]

[ Cough, hack, cough. It tastes awful on this organ you call a tongue! ]

My apologies, I assumed this was the kind for consumption. [ because that's obviously the problem, right ]

[madeofstoic]

'Course not. You'd get sick. [ was this girl some sort of clank back home oh he bets you were ]

Y'want some water?

[hokurobeam]

Oh, yes! Humans require water for hydration. [ of course, how could she forget ]

[angelgressor]

[ Is this girl a robot, too? Why would she be so apparent about it...? ]

Y-You...Are you supposed to not be human?

[hokurobeam]

[ She doesn't feel the need to hide it! She even answers enthusiastically, ] Yes. I am a robot maid. [ Yeah. ]

[angelgressor]

A humanoid robot?

[ Just.

Dumbfounded this girl would be so casual about it. ]

[hokurobeam]

Yes. I was specifically designed to serve humans, but that is the purpose of all robots, I suppose.