Indescriptive
Caim, I do thank you so much for allowing myself and Lord Edge to occupy your living quarters. I apologize if... we had made it unbearable somehow. Please let me know how I can repay you for your kindness.
[Private]
I somehow feel that I must protect this from the eyes of others for as much as possible. I... I cannot find myself to be open enough to these feelings, save that I were under the spell of further insanity. This weighs heavily upon my heart, and I've no clue how to approach the subject.
I... I cannot believe that. I... I admit that I have such inhibitions, but why... why was I unable to control them? Have I become nothing but a mere puppet once more? Who controls my life? Who controls my emotions and my desires? Perhaps all of this is mere wishful thinking. I had been under the impression that lest I am actually left for the dead, this is a second chance with life. My inability to control my emotions, desires, and inhibitions makes me wonder naught but question it. I no longer wish to be controlled. This is my life, and I will do as I please with it. I am but a man who wishes freedom from the shackles of puppetry that I have been subdued in that resulted my death back in Ivalice. I had been foolish then, and I will be foolish no more.
In a short amount of time, Lord Edge has meant more to me than my own death. Than my own being. Even after knowing what sort of man I had been and what sort of man I could become, he remained by my side. Mayhap he is insane, but it need not matter. I subconsciously vowed my service to him, and that shall remain until he strips me of my retainership. And yet.... I have done the unthinkable. Something that I have never imagined myself to do with such vigor, compassion, and emotion. Such leud acts are very unbecoming of me and I am naught but shocked and speechless once I've realized what I had done. I.... am not like that. I....
And yet, I cannot help but be drawn so much closer to Lord Edge. He allows me to express myself how I like, he accepts me for my faults, and puts aside all the wrongdoing I've done in the past and takes me as the man that I now am. I...
Why must my mind remain in such a state where it hinders my ability to think on this? I know not what to do. I've... I've stayed in my living quarters after I've realized all that I had done... to Lord Edge... all that he had done... to me.... Must... Why must this be in such a difficulty that my mind refuses to comprehend? Lord... Lord Edge would say something along the lines of... this need not be complicated. I'm sure of it.
..........
I.... I can no longer find appropriate words to express my emotions and self-frustrations...
[Private]
I somehow feel that I must protect this from the eyes of others for as much as possible. I... I cannot find myself to be open enough to these feelings, save that I were under the spell of further insanity. This weighs heavily upon my heart, and I've no clue how to approach the subject.
I... I cannot believe that. I... I admit that I have such inhibitions, but why... why was I unable to control them? Have I become nothing but a mere puppet once more? Who controls my life? Who controls my emotions and my desires? Perhaps all of this is mere wishful thinking. I had been under the impression that lest I am actually left for the dead, this is a second chance with life. My inability to control my emotions, desires, and inhibitions makes me wonder naught but question it. I no longer wish to be controlled. This is my life, and I will do as I please with it. I am but a man who wishes freedom from the shackles of puppetry that I have been subdued in that resulted my death back in Ivalice. I had been foolish then, and I will be foolish no more.
In a short amount of time, Lord Edge has meant more to me than my own death. Than my own being. Even after knowing what sort of man I had been and what sort of man I could become, he remained by my side. Mayhap he is insane, but it need not matter. I subconsciously vowed my service to him, and that shall remain until he strips me of my retainership. And yet.... I have done the unthinkable. Something that I have never imagined myself to do with such vigor, compassion, and emotion. Such leud acts are very unbecoming of me and I am naught but shocked and speechless once I've realized what I had done. I.... am not like that. I....
And yet, I cannot help but be drawn so much closer to Lord Edge. He allows me to express myself how I like, he accepts me for my faults, and puts aside all the wrongdoing I've done in the past and takes me as the man that I now am. I...
Why must my mind remain in such a state where it hinders my ability to think on this? I know not what to do. I've... I've stayed in my living quarters after I've realized all that I had done... to Lord Edge... all that he had done... to me.... Must... Why must this be in such a difficulty that my mind refuses to comprehend? Lord... Lord Edge would say something along the lines of... this need not be complicated. I'm sure of it.
..........
I.... I can no longer find appropriate words to express my emotions and self-frustrations...