Final days of spring.
The last two weeks have been real tough. After the cut is everything that's been on my mind including lack of meds/anxiety to follow. Please be aware and don't read if you aren't in the place to do so.
Late Monday 6.5, Dan and i came home to find Louie struggling to breath. He had been acting weird for a couple days but another dog we were watching was having an upset stomach so I assumed Louie was acting weird for that. Monday night changed everything, when I noticed Louie was breathing the way that Tybalt was when his heart was failing. I looked at Louie's gums and noticed they were white, which means he had no oxygen in his bloodstream. I don't know if Dan had never had a dog emergency but when I told him that something was really wrong, he wanted to stay home and research it. I told him I didn't think Louie was last the car ride over to friendship animal hospital. Dan stayed, I left with Louie. The vet staff acted quickly to stabilize him and put him in an oxygen hut. After a few days and some more interventions, Louie came out of oxygen and came home. They had concluded he ate rat poison.
That Thursday, I ran out of lexapro, which I'd been using for the last year + to treat depression and anxiety. I knew that I wasn't ready to get off the meds emotionally, but I'm sure I'm not meant to get off it mentally now either. Withdrawals have been difficult. I'm dizzy a lot, I go from crying and uncontrollably mad, my mind races. To say that it's been difficult is an understatement. A friend shared some xanax with me, which has held me over.
My coworkers and I voted to give ourselves a 2% raise.
I want so desperately to give up the grass in my front yard and plant rosemary bushes. I haven't found the time yet.
I've started the process of finding places my mom could live in senior housing in the area.
I'm so scared that I could lose my health insurance.
The bachelorette party last month was like a breath of fresh air. It was beautiful and invigorating to spend time around a group of new and old friends, while having intelligent conversations. Being near the sea is such a comfort.
Do people truly know how much weddings cost?! Good gravy.
I want to sleep for a week.
I want to hike along mountains and look down into an ocean.
I want my parents to take care of themselves and not count on me to take care of them.
I want to spend days looking at old pictures of my grandma.
I want to spend days looking at pictures of Tybalt.
Late Monday 6.5, Dan and i came home to find Louie struggling to breath. He had been acting weird for a couple days but another dog we were watching was having an upset stomach so I assumed Louie was acting weird for that. Monday night changed everything, when I noticed Louie was breathing the way that Tybalt was when his heart was failing. I looked at Louie's gums and noticed they were white, which means he had no oxygen in his bloodstream. I don't know if Dan had never had a dog emergency but when I told him that something was really wrong, he wanted to stay home and research it. I told him I didn't think Louie was last the car ride over to friendship animal hospital. Dan stayed, I left with Louie. The vet staff acted quickly to stabilize him and put him in an oxygen hut. After a few days and some more interventions, Louie came out of oxygen and came home. They had concluded he ate rat poison.
That Thursday, I ran out of lexapro, which I'd been using for the last year + to treat depression and anxiety. I knew that I wasn't ready to get off the meds emotionally, but I'm sure I'm not meant to get off it mentally now either. Withdrawals have been difficult. I'm dizzy a lot, I go from crying and uncontrollably mad, my mind races. To say that it's been difficult is an understatement. A friend shared some xanax with me, which has held me over.
My coworkers and I voted to give ourselves a 2% raise.
I want so desperately to give up the grass in my front yard and plant rosemary bushes. I haven't found the time yet.
I've started the process of finding places my mom could live in senior housing in the area.
I'm so scared that I could lose my health insurance.
The bachelorette party last month was like a breath of fresh air. It was beautiful and invigorating to spend time around a group of new and old friends, while having intelligent conversations. Being near the sea is such a comfort.
Do people truly know how much weddings cost?! Good gravy.
I want to sleep for a week.
I want to hike along mountains and look down into an ocean.
I want my parents to take care of themselves and not count on me to take care of them.
I want to spend days looking at old pictures of my grandma.
I want to spend days looking at pictures of Tybalt.