Player Evaluations
1- Conks: What can you do when we let the otehr team take quality shots from the slot, and give up on rebounds? Not much. I feel sorry for Conks. And not just for his stupid nickname. Score: 7.2
2- Brew: Just when he was starting to not suck, he got hurt. I think he had about 5 points and was just on the plus side, so he was doing okay. He puts up with Horc, so he impresses me. Score: 9568.25
5- Semi: Semi is really tall. Score: T
10- Horc: Horc was making real strides and then he let the shit in the papers get him down. Don't tell him I said so, but he donesn't completely suck. Score: &
12- I always thought we had a number twelve. But we don't. Score: -12
14- Torres: Raffi eats raw meat. I don't know why, but as long as he's scoring, I'd like to get more of our guys eating raw meat. Score: One blue duck
15- Isbister: I think he fakes being injured so he can eat free arena food in the press box. Score: J.3
16- Yorkie: He looks like the guy who used to run numbers for Big Al in Brooklyn. Score: 12,303.00 (how much I owe Al)
18- Ethan: Chopper's been pretty stellar. Score: 2 teeth
19- Reasoner: Poor unlucky bastard. Score: %&$%!
20- DVo: I like Radek. he smells like my grandma used to. Score: 837
21- Gator: He could do without that Staios fellow dragging his game into the gutter. Score: Who cares?
23- Cross: For a long time, I thought the arena had a new janitor. But it was Cory. Score: F, the floor needs waxing.
24- Staios: He could do without that Smith fellow dragging his game into the gutter. Score: I like Cheetos
27- Georges: Great! Score: Whatever score he wants.
28- Chimmer: I hear he kissed Horcoff. That's kind of gross. Score: -5
32- Fergs: is this guy fat or what? Score: He sure is.
34- Pisani: He almost caught my interest last year. This year I wonder why he's not playing in TO. Score: 3
35- Tommy: I take back what I said about Fergs. Score: Tim horton's gift certificate.
36- Stoll: Crazy ant guy. Score: No.
47- Bergy: plays well for an amputee with no legs. Score: 4'5".
77- Oatesy: makes me feel not so old. Score: 41
83- Hemmer: I give his gerbils 9/10. Score: 0/10
94- Smytty: He has dumb hair. Score: snip