god last night was amazing! i was almost speechless except for the fact that i kept talking. my heart was pounding, my mouth kept dropping, i was on such a high i couldn't believe it! matt, ogre, and julie all picked me up last night around 8 or so and we went to go see some fireworks from ogre's pool. well, matt's truck can only hold three ( Read more... )

i hate my dad. we fought yet again for 3 hours last night after my game. he had my mom and i in tears, and me reaching for the knife. i hate how he does this, then he blames my mom and i for being fuckups and screwing up HIS life. how the HELL does that work? forget it... it doesn't matter how much i whine or complain about it, no one cares, ( Read more... )

this weekend was muchly needed.  i got to be with brittany and we hung out for the first time all summer.  some pretty big wounds were healed, yet strangly, some pretty big ones were created too.  the healing was all on the emotional/spiritual side, yet the creating was all on the physical side.  i tore up my right knee pretty badly at a softball ( Read more... )

i hate him. i want him to die. i want him to suffer for hours, i want to watch it happen, and i want him to see the look of not-caring on my face while this is all going on. but most of all, i want to be the one administering the torture i'm putting my dad through ( Read more... )

wow, in one day, no one hour i lost my parent's trust, my job, and my boyfriend! damn i'm good! and it's all thanks to: my dad. no, it's not, it's all thanks to none other than me ( Read more... )

after knowing and loving the song that i cry to each time i hear it, i decided to actually print off the lyrics and read what the lyrics say. now that i've done that, i have a reason to cry ( Read more... )

finals are over and school is out... yay? i seem to be the only one not all enthused about this. i LIKE school, it's the only time i get to see my friends. last summer i saw brit once, maybe twice a month, and julie about every other week- that's not the fun-filled summer i had dreamed about. i was going to ride bikes everyday either with julie ( Read more... )

last night wasn't as good as the night before, but what can i expect?  for one thing i was tired as fuck, it was raining, it was cold, rodney came to see julie but spencer got lost.  so i was tired and lying down trying to go to sleep and kind of upset that i couldn't see ormo and julie came and laid next to me, rodney next to her and he keeps ( Read more... )

god friday seems like so long ago!  i skipped softball to hang with brit, we chilled, made some dinner, smoked a lil, watched some tv, listened to the radio, and talked.  we also went for a few walks and had a fish thrown at us- that was funny.  i think we were on one of the bridges for what felt like half an hour- it was beautiful. brit went to ( Read more... )

well, today was definately a thrilling ride.  i had some huge ups, but oh boy did i have some downs.  i got to spend some time with julie and i really needed that, i talked to brit for a bit on the phone which was nice too.  also, i think i MAY have a way to save my english grade ::crosses fingers::, but i also had another HUGE breakdown; so big i ( Read more... )