Dear LiveJournal,

Its been about 2 weeks after me and Amelia started to see each other. Its not serious, nor is it something not worth chasing. She sends me to the most ADORABLE text messages in the world. lol. Leaving work at 1am, dead tired, and I dont even go home. I travel the 10 miles across downtown to see her, and it feels good to do so. Then ( Read more... )

So I did what I said I was going to do. Chances are I was under-estimated. No remorse.

Relapse...
Prevent trigger intent.
Now drown...
High strung...
Say X amount of words...

You're solar, bipolar.
Panic disorder.
Seems harder and harder and harder...
Still you try to control it...

You mold, you mold.
Yeah, you shape to mold.
Oh, you're bold, you' ( Read more... )

In a matter of 36 hours, I notice two things. Things that caught my eye, not at the time it happened, but after I bring it back as a memory in my head. Before I go on, I woke up today feeling like I was reborn. I dont know why, but I opened my eyes to a very sunny day. Today at work, I felt so great to be there. Everyone was happy, and we got some ( Read more... )

You wish that I'd do the same...
...your wishes mean nothing to me. You get nothing from me. Nothing at all. Everyone who's said it was right, every single fucking time.

History repeats itself.

You have no fucking clue what you're doing, do you...?

Now I sit here, the dumbass that I am, wondering why things happen the way they do. Why alot of the time ( Read more... )

So. Here I am again. I couldnt take advantage of more sleep time cuz Im not used to being in bed early, so hey, why not? Post a blog...

I honestly dont feel well. Not sick as in fever.. cough.. sore throat.. I feel weak, as if I just may be losing my mind. My patience. My will to even continue. Im in the middle of a tug of war. Im caught in the ( Read more... )

Maybe it is time for me to just lay it straight and just be true about who exactly I am and what type of a person I used to be and have become.

I used to be sinful. I used to be greedy. I used to be self-centered. I used to lie to make myself look better. I used to be the one that got picked on at school. I used to be the one that no one really ( Read more... )

Im seconds away from just crying my balls off. I really am, and the fucked up thing is? I have no fucking idea why. I just dont understand. Maybe thats just my fucking problem. That I cant understand.  I have ways to cope.. May not be the best ways, and may not be suitable for children under the age of 17, but by God I am not about to lose my mind ( Read more... )

...its funny. ...how some people just dont understand.

Before I get into something serious and negative, I wanna share something with you all. This road called Life Ive been walking took some pretty nasty turns every now and then, some bumps here and there, and theres been times where its been gold-plated. Yet, I dont feel content with myself, and ( Read more... )

So what is in store for me in the near future...?

All I see is what I have always seen. Under a roof, with a way to get around, a good job to support myself and mine, and I do it all with a smile on my face.

"If it can be dreamt, it can be done..."

My term has almost reached its halfway point. So far, it has been quite a ride. Never thought I would ( Read more... )

( Read more... )