once again, I may not be able to go see Derek. the bus drivers of Santa Cruz are on strike, so the bus that does my transfer from San Jose to Santa Cruz isn't running. and the buses that run from campus into town aren't going, so it would be difficult to get up to the school and back, and go into town to eat at a restaurant or anything ( Read more... )

so my room is finally decently together. I can sleep in it. sort of. last night was my first night back in it, and I couldn't really fall asleep, because of the new walls, and new bedsheets, and being used to sleeping in the office... I always slept really easily here in the office. when we first moved in, I wanted this to be my room, even though ( Read more... )

soft new red blanket... warm from the dryer. and pink lemonade. yummy. at least this day was redeemed. I just wish I had somebody to share it with.

ok, so I'm pretty sure I'm the most uncool teenage girl anywhere. that aside,

( ONE: what I'm listening to. )

and my allergies are SO FREAKING BAD. I can't get anything done, or think, or be right. and I have to finish all this crap. finish my room. stand up on a ladder, high. move all my furniture back in. remember to eat. go to my chemistry lab and not fuck it up. aghhhh. want to feel better. prescription pills = not working ( Read more... )

my mom came to wake me up this morning, but I was trying to figure something out in my dream, and it was frustrating timing... she kept saying I had to wake up... so I mumbled to her, sort of struggling to keep the dream going, "I'm trying to learn something..." and she said "what?" and I said "in my dream..." and she just left me to sleep, so I ( Read more... )

Derek had two children.

And he was pregnant with a third.

all of Daisy's talk of breakfasting made me hungry ( Read more... )

because the wind is high, it blows my mind
because the wind is high
love is all, love is you
love is all, love is you
because the sky is blue, it makes me cry
because the sky is blue

listen.

algh. he's gone now. where did my life go. I feel stranded and trapped without him here to let me out. I hate feeling like I have nothing meaningful to live for, except for events that could be weeks away, or may never happen.

things in life that make me genuinely happy:Derek (gone ( Read more... )