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[holly_noel]

I keep telling myself that im happy here, that this is where i want to be, this is where i belong and where i am needed. But the truth just wont stop telling me otherwise. Its and ongoing battle between whay i know is right for me and  what is right and good for  me by my family. No im not comlaining, just feeling out of place. missing what was,

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[holly_noel]

yea i have this journal and a written one aswell. i think that im onlike voulme 6..i write so much..but yea..

I love my family, but sometimes i just feel like it's time to "cut the cord." ya know..let me make mistakes..be who i know that im suppose to be..do what im meant to do..but i know myself too well..ill be here..for however long..doing what they think is the right thing for me..just how i am.

thanks for listening. : )

[holly_noel]

that's true, and the good thing about this is that I do make alot of mistakes...sorry for being so gloomy the past few days..I got in a "rut" but im good now.. : )

Home is where the (your) heart is?

[mind_feild]

I will start out kinda backwards. First thing is, this is 'your' 'journal', a place to record 'your' 'journey' in this life. Never feel bad about expressing your thoughts here, that is what it is for

Re: Home is where the (your) heart is?

[holly_noel]

I know that i know that i know that missouri is where i am suppose to be. Im 110% positive. that's what the hardest part of it all. but i stay..and i will stay, because like they say about family..that's who will be there in the end. I literally will BE THERE. I move myself to where im needed and when the time is up..i go to the next stop, but i keep thinking that this cant keep going on. I know that my family may need me, but to be selfish..what do I NEED? What do i want to do with my life? Those are questions that no one likes to ask..so i dont answer them..It will just start a fight, and i cave in because i dont want to hear it..ya know..

Is someone playing the worlds smallest violin for me? I mean seriously..I sound like a petty child. Oh well..fact is..i dont have backbone..so ill be unhappy..just how it is. ugh. so i guess you can say that i put myself in this spot so i have to deal with it..if dealing is what i am in fact doing.

[jamjar_girl]

"Is it okay to be selfish for yourself, to want my life."

No, it isn't. You're entitled to feel at peace and content with where you're living and what you're doing.

Hugs to you (())

[jamjar_girl]

Sorry, I meant no, it's not selfish, didn't word that very well!

[holly_noel]

thanks. I think that i know that its okay to be selfish somethimes. I just can't convince myself of it..ya know.