Ooh, I'm curious and definitely wanting more. Although I was guessing from your comment at the beginning that "something from Eliot's past comes back" meant that HE would be the one Lily would be referring to. Was his name Lindsey before? :) I guess I'll have to wait and see.
I'm really enjoying your story here and I'm not meaning to be insulting in any way, but you could probably use a better beta, as there are still mistakes and things that could be improved on. If you're willing, I'd be happy to give you a hand as I enjoy that sort of thing, and consider myself a grammar and punctuation nazi.
The fic is fine the way it is, but there are certain things that could be said better. The use of "questioned" three times almost in a row. "Commented so and so" - using less dialogue attributions and more character mannerisms to convey who is speaking makes it seem more in character. Too, there are commas where there should be periods or semi colons. It works the way it is and reads like a lot of fiction out there, I just wanted to help make it the best it can be.
I'm sorry to have hurt your feelings and Holly's. I withdraw my comments and understand if you don't want me commenting here again.
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I'm really enjoying your story here and I'm not meaning to be insulting in any way, but you could probably use a better beta, as there are still mistakes and things that could be improved on. If you're willing, I'd be happy to give you a hand as I enjoy that sort of thing, and consider myself a grammar and punctuation nazi.
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I'm sorry to have hurt your feelings and Holly's. I withdraw my comments and understand if you don't want me commenting here again.
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