depressing
really really sad.
wish I didn't exist almost everyday.
I'm trying to keep my chin up.
Trying to stay afloat.
trying to focus on good things,
making plans to look forward to.
the thing about making plans for me is that..
most of the time they don't pan out.
makes me sad to try to plan things.
I can't really think of anything good on the horizon.
i hate myself for being so miserable and lame
trying to sleep a lot, and trying to read a lot, too.
been going through books at a super rapid pace, lately.
books really help me to not think about things.
A lot of times I think how you don't really remember things from when you are 2,3,4 years old.
I mean, when is your earliest memory?
I get scared that my kids are getting too old and if I stay then they will remember me.
I mean, things don't hurt if you can't even remember.
I'd rather they didn't remember me. It would be easier.
I know that's crazy to think but, it doesn't stop me from thinking it.
I feel pretty invisible. Like I'm not even here. I think if I wasn't, people would just feel
inconvenienced, need to find a new routine, work around my absence for a minute
until everything fell back into place again.
this is just a really bad day. I know another day will come when I will feel ok.
So I'm just trying to think about that day, when things don't seem so bad.
wish I didn't exist almost everyday.
I'm trying to keep my chin up.
Trying to stay afloat.
trying to focus on good things,
making plans to look forward to.
the thing about making plans for me is that..
most of the time they don't pan out.
makes me sad to try to plan things.
I can't really think of anything good on the horizon.
i hate myself for being so miserable and lame
trying to sleep a lot, and trying to read a lot, too.
been going through books at a super rapid pace, lately.
books really help me to not think about things.
A lot of times I think how you don't really remember things from when you are 2,3,4 years old.
I mean, when is your earliest memory?
I get scared that my kids are getting too old and if I stay then they will remember me.
I mean, things don't hurt if you can't even remember.
I'd rather they didn't remember me. It would be easier.
I know that's crazy to think but, it doesn't stop me from thinking it.
I feel pretty invisible. Like I'm not even here. I think if I wasn't, people would just feel
inconvenienced, need to find a new routine, work around my absence for a minute
until everything fell back into place again.
this is just a really bad day. I know another day will come when I will feel ok.
So I'm just trying to think about that day, when things don't seem so bad.