I was planning on going away for my 5 year anniversary without the kids but the hotel we want has blackout dates for the honor points we use, so we can't stay. And then we thought we'd just stay at the condo anyway, but John's grandma's cousin or someone is coming from Baltimore to stay on the weekend we could go. So that's not going to happen
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A few years ago, I had my birthday party at a go kart speedway and covered everyone. The bill came to about $500, but I felt super special that day and had a blast with my friends, so I thought it was worth it. However, if I'd been required to invite my sister, whom I don't like, as well as several other people coming with her, I don't think I'd have been so keen on paying. In your position, I would definitely be trying to figure out a way to avoid spending so much on people I don't like.
The idea of renting the pony for the kids to take turns on is good, and if adults want to ride, let them pay their own way. Most of the kids' parties I go to, the parents cover the cost of the children only; it's common and perfectly acceptable. You could add something to the invite about pony rides for kids and fun games for all. I really doubt adults would expect you to cover the cost of them riding a horse for your daughter's fifth birthday.
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