Has anyone else seen the ESPN commercial that shows a kid dragging a Cardinals blanket through all the stages of his life? If you haven't, it shows a dad wrapping his baby in a Cardinals blanket. Then we see (presumably) this baby as a toddler, running around his house using the blanket as a cape. Then we see the kid older, doing his homework in ( Read more... )

Up until yesterday, the coolest license plate I ever saw was on a silver Jaguar I spotted in the West Village, on one of those ancient, cobblestone, Victorian streets, where you expect to see Sherlock Holmes and Prince Albert conversing under gaslight with Jack the Ripper. It was one of those streets where it is eternally 11 am on a Sunday, well- ( Read more... )

This past weekend, thanks to the city of Philadelphia, I finally viewed a baseball game in a stadium other than Shea or Yankee Stadium. Citizen's Bank Ballpark is sandwiched on the southern outskirts of Cheesesteakburg between the airport and the Titty Bar District, and is part of a brand new Stadium District that includes an arts center and a new ( Read more... )

I went upstate for Mother's Day, and my car died on the return trip. Luckily, it happened only a few miles from my mother's house. I was driving down route 208, which, now that I have overly stimulated City Eyes, seems really dark and creepy at 10:30 at night. None of the trees have bloomed yet, and the bare branches look scary-movie-ish when ( Read more... )

Every day I work this job, I want Paris Hilton a little more dead.

No softball this weekend, which is a bummer. We played last week and though it rained on and off, and we got clobbered, it was still fun. The Mark Bar played against the cleverly-named Balls Deep, a team led by the commissioner of the league and packed with ringers. I needed a TI-85 to calculate how many runs they scored on us (pre-calc humor!). ( Read more... )

On the stroll to work this morning, I hit upon this vein of comedy gold:

We see a young family, mom, dad, and kid about 7 or 8 years old, all well dressed, sitting in what appears to be a pew. The shot is tight, so we can't really see anything beyond them. The kid sits between the two parents, and is bored to tears. The parents try to nudge him ( Read more... )

I know from both experience and example that it's an extremely bad idea to blog about one's job, particularly when one expresses negative comments about their place of employment. The quote-unquote anonymity of the web is worth about as much as the paper that promise is printed on.

So, not to be a cocktease, but I must be a cocktease and simply say ( Read more... )

On my way to work this morning, I listened to a Jean Shepherd show from 1966* regarding tattooing. It reminded me of a really ridiculous conversation I had--can't remember with who--about absurd tattoos that we'd like to get, which quickly degenerated into a nerd-out. It struck us as hilarious to get a classic military-type tattoo like an anchor or ( Read more... )

Hurrah! Episode 001 of Holy Goddamn has been a-posted to the Interweb. It is entitled "Baseball Been Berry Berry Good to Me," and I discuss my deep genetic affliction--being a Mets fan. I also spin some hot tunes, and I perform an ad-filled game broadcast, as well as a sports jock radio show wherein callers propose trades between members of the ( Read more... )