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Title: We're All Looking (for a happy ending)
Disclaimer: Not mine. Only responsible for their fictional corruption.
Fandom: Lost
Pairing: Jack/Sawyer
Warning: Artsy. Weird.
Summary: He's never made anything easy (even the easy stuff).
A/N: For the great and powerful, Queen zelda_zee, who wanted "happy endings” and/or Sawyer's inner screwed up workings. Thanks for organizing the Luau, love. As always it was an adventure and totally worth the journey.
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He's never made anything easy (even the easy stuff). Being near (being with) a guy like Jack isn't an exception. It's the God damn rule.
Being with (being near) a tight ass, (pain in the), bleeding heart, wanna be martyr (climbin' up on the cross so ready to suffer for other people's sins) is just about as hard as it gets. Nothing a man who avoids responsibility like poison oak, and genuine emotion like pissed off hornets, is ready for.
(It happens just the same.) Sawyer doesn't want to be stung. He knows the marks will show. (He's just stumbled into unsafe territory, a thick growth of inescapable jungle, before he can turn back).
Jack is an itch he has to scratch. The flesh he touches should bear evidence.
(It doesn't.)
Instead no one knows and he's left jealous. Jealous of all the time everyone else gets out in the open with Jack. Jealous of how natural it all comes to just about anyone except him. Trusting the good doctor - knowing the man beneath and letting themselves return the fucking favor - is something his fellow castaways get right the first time.
(It's just that - Sawyer has never been a golden rule kinda guy.)
He wants to show Jack what Jack shows him - concern, faith, something close enough to love to count. (He just never learned how.) Blowjobs and rough kisses in the dark aren't handgrenades - share no resemblance beyond their ability to take on a life of their own once he yanks out the pin and throws.
All he wants is to have and not lose (just this once). (Just this once) he's willing to try. Whether it's battle or a never-ending uphill climb - he's working toward happily ever after. He'll take the pain and try to pull as many punches as he can.
(And in the end he's pretty sure it's gonna be worth it.)
He's never made anything easy (but he's never shied away from a challenge). Doing this (changing) is hard, not impossible. Changing (doing this) is the only way to get what he wants.
Jack.
Asking someone to love a closed off, smart-ass, fucked up, conman (ex-convict) is asking a lot. Nothing a giver like Jack should take on, one more weight to add to the ever growing pile on his shoulders.
(Just the same Jack does.) Not waiting for the question Jack volunteers (and they say only the first time warrants the label "victim".)
Jack bends. Bears the load like he won't break.
(He doesn't.)
Instead he holds Sawyer up until the threat of falling disappears. (Stays until Sawyer falls in another way).
Jack makes time for everyone, but lets Sawyer know what they have is strange and special. (Not lessoned by the fact that it makes no sense and shouldn't work.)
(See - Jack doesn't know how to give up or let go.)
Jack needs to save him - from himself, from his past, from a future they may never get to forge or fuck up. (It doesn't matter why and when he'll deal with later.) After kiss and whispered promises, ones that will be a struggle to keep, it comes down to a game of horseshoes. It's a good thing their aim doesn't have to be perfect.
They could both win (claim a prize of forever). Claiming (each other) the connection is enough, and more than either one hope for. It's a small victory, the sweetest lemonade made from a situation of lemons. Jack works with what they get.
(Which could be - everything they've ever wanted.)
Despite the effort it takes (the time) Jack doesn't seem to want it any other way. The turmoil (their issues) make them stronger. In the end, Jack finds what he is looking for.
Sawyer.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Only responsible for their fictional corruption.
Fandom: Lost
Pairing: Jack/Sawyer
Warning: Artsy. Weird.
Summary: He's never made anything easy (even the easy stuff).
A/N: For the great and powerful, Queen zelda_zee, who wanted "happy endings” and/or Sawyer's inner screwed up workings. Thanks for organizing the Luau, love. As always it was an adventure and totally worth the journey.
++
++
He's never made anything easy (even the easy stuff). Being near (being with) a guy like Jack isn't an exception. It's the God damn rule.
Being with (being near) a tight ass, (pain in the), bleeding heart, wanna be martyr (climbin' up on the cross so ready to suffer for other people's sins) is just about as hard as it gets. Nothing a man who avoids responsibility like poison oak, and genuine emotion like pissed off hornets, is ready for.
(It happens just the same.) Sawyer doesn't want to be stung. He knows the marks will show. (He's just stumbled into unsafe territory, a thick growth of inescapable jungle, before he can turn back).
Jack is an itch he has to scratch. The flesh he touches should bear evidence.
(It doesn't.)
Instead no one knows and he's left jealous. Jealous of all the time everyone else gets out in the open with Jack. Jealous of how natural it all comes to just about anyone except him. Trusting the good doctor - knowing the man beneath and letting themselves return the fucking favor - is something his fellow castaways get right the first time.
(It's just that - Sawyer has never been a golden rule kinda guy.)
He wants to show Jack what Jack shows him - concern, faith, something close enough to love to count. (He just never learned how.) Blowjobs and rough kisses in the dark aren't handgrenades - share no resemblance beyond their ability to take on a life of their own once he yanks out the pin and throws.
All he wants is to have and not lose (just this once). (Just this once) he's willing to try. Whether it's battle or a never-ending uphill climb - he's working toward happily ever after. He'll take the pain and try to pull as many punches as he can.
(And in the end he's pretty sure it's gonna be worth it.)
He's never made anything easy (but he's never shied away from a challenge). Doing this (changing) is hard, not impossible. Changing (doing this) is the only way to get what he wants.
Jack.
Asking someone to love a closed off, smart-ass, fucked up, conman (ex-convict) is asking a lot. Nothing a giver like Jack should take on, one more weight to add to the ever growing pile on his shoulders.
(Just the same Jack does.) Not waiting for the question Jack volunteers (and they say only the first time warrants the label "victim".)
Jack bends. Bears the load like he won't break.
(He doesn't.)
Instead he holds Sawyer up until the threat of falling disappears. (Stays until Sawyer falls in another way).
Jack makes time for everyone, but lets Sawyer know what they have is strange and special. (Not lessoned by the fact that it makes no sense and shouldn't work.)
(See - Jack doesn't know how to give up or let go.)
Jack needs to save him - from himself, from his past, from a future they may never get to forge or fuck up. (It doesn't matter why and when he'll deal with later.) After kiss and whispered promises, ones that will be a struggle to keep, it comes down to a game of horseshoes. It's a good thing their aim doesn't have to be perfect.
They could both win (claim a prize of forever). Claiming (each other) the connection is enough, and more than either one hope for. It's a small victory, the sweetest lemonade made from a situation of lemons. Jack works with what they get.
(Which could be - everything they've ever wanted.)
Despite the effort it takes (the time) Jack doesn't seem to want it any other way. The turmoil (their issues) make them stronger. In the end, Jack finds what he is looking for.
Sawyer.