Philosophical Tiger
I used to love Calvin and Hobbes when I was a kid. Its the kind of strip that you can understand on a couple levels, the higher of which I probably didnt completely appreciate when I was younger. Looking back, though, I have to wonder how much it
Calvin My life needs a rewind/erase button.
Hobbes And a volume control.
Calvin To make a bad day worse, spend it wishing for the impossible.
Calvin I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.
Calvin's Dad The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that is even worse.
Calvin My internal clock is on Tokyo time.
Calvin Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
Calvin If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again.
Calvin In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
Calvin What's it like to fall in love?
Hobbes Well... Say the object of your affection walks by...
Calvin Yeah?
Hobbes First, your heart falls into your stomach and splashes your innards. All the moisture makes you sweat profusely. This condensation shorts the circuits to your brain, and you get all woozy. When your brain burns out altogether, your mouth disengages and you babble like a cretin until she leaves.
Calvin That's love?!?
Hobbes Medically speaking.
Calvin Heck, that happened to me once, but I figured it was cooties!
Hobbes How come we play war and not peace?
Calvin Too few role models
Calvin There's an inverse relationship between how good something is for you, and how much fun it is.
Hobbes Do you think there's a God?
Calvin Well somebody's out to get me!
Calvin Trusting parents can be hazardous to your health.
Calvin There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse!
Calvin The strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can't, and the incapacity the tell the difference
Calvin I hate it when I can't gird my loins with funny animals.
Calvin I'm a simple man, Hobbes.
Hobbes You?? Yesterday you wanted a nuclear powered car that could turn into a jet with laser-guided heat-seeking missiles!
Calvin I'm a simple man with complex tastes.
Calvin You know how people are. They only recognize greatness when some authority confirms it.
Calvin The only skills I have the patience to learn are those that have no real application in life.
Calvin History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That's why events are always reinterpreted when values change. We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices.
Hobbes It's not the pace of life I mind. It's the sudden stop at the end.
Calvin I think life should be more like tv. I think all of life's problems ought to be solved in 30 minutes with simple homilies, don't you? I think weight and oral hygiene ought to be our biggest concerns. I think we should all have powerful, high-paying jobs, and everyone should drive fancy sports cars. All our desires should be instantly gratified. Women should always wear tight clothes, and men should carry powerful handguns. Life overall should be more glamorous, thrill-packed, and filled with applause, don't you think?
Calvin People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
Calvin It's only work if somebody makes you do it.
Calvin I've been thinking, Hobbes.
Hobbes On a weekend?
Calvin Well, it wasn't on purpose...
Calvin This morning I had a wonderful dream. By holding my arms out stiff and pushing down hard, I found I could suspend myself a few feet above ground. I flapped harder, and soon I was soaring effortlessly over the trees and telephone poles! I could fly! I folded my arms back and zoomed low over the neighborhood. Everyone was amazed, and they ran along under me as I shot by. Then I rocketed up so fast that my eyes watered from the wind. I laughed and laughed, making huge loops in the sky! ...That's when Mom woke me up and said I was going to miss the bus if I didn't get my bottom out of bed; 20 minutes later, here I am, standing in the cold rain, waiting to go to school, and I just remembered I forgot my lunch. Tuesdays don't start much worse than this.
Calvin I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal.
Calvin I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.
Hobbes I think if you're born, it's too late.
Calvin You know how old people always write letters to Dear Abby, complaining that their kids never write, call or visit? Those letters really crack me up.
Calvin Do you believe our destinies are determined by the stars?
Hobbes Nah.
Calvin Oh, I do.
Hobbes Really? How come?
Calvin Life's a lot more fun when you're not responsible for your actions.
Hobbes What I like is when you're looking and thinking and looking and thinking... And suddenly you wake up.
Calvin That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.
Calvin There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
Calvin It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
Calvin I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life ... Procrastinating and rationalizing.
Calvin: I'm a genius, but I'm a misunderstood genius.
Hobbes: What's misunderstood about you?
Calvin: Nobody thinks I'm a genius.
Calvin : You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
Hobbes : What mood is that?
Calvin : Last-minute panic.
"What state do you live in?"
"Denial."
"Why isn't my life like a situation comedy? Why don't I have a bunch of friends with nothing better to do but drop by and instigate wacky adventures? Why aren't my conversations peppered with spontaneous witticisms? Why don't my friends demonstrate heartfelt concern for my well being when I have problems? ...I gotta get my life some writers."
Calvin "Here's a movie we should watch."
Hobbes "Who's in it?"
Calvin "It says 'Japanese Cast'...two big rubbery monsters slug it out over major metropolitan centres in a battle for world supremacy...doesn't that sound great?"
Hobbes "And people say that foreign film is inaccessible."
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."
Susie: Why didn't you sign up to play baseball like the rest of the boys? Don't you like sports?
Calvin: I hate all the rules and organization and teams and ranks in sports. Somebody's always
yelling at you, telling you where to be, what to do, and when to do it. I figure when I want that, I'll
join the army and at least get paid.
Calvin: I don't understand it, Hobbes. The kids teased me when I wouldn't play baseball. Then they yelled at
me when I did play. Then the teacher called me a "quitter" when I stopped playing. Unless you're a
star you can't please anyone.
Hobbes: In that case, why not just please yourself?
Calvin: Because Mom won't let me move to Madagascar.
Reality continues to ruin my life.
Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and
you're just a reflection of him?
I liked things better when I didn't understand them
I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in and overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak
Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN!
Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the best of the choices available. Some people are idealists, standing for principle and refusing to compromise. And some people just act on any whim that enters their heads. I pragmatically turn my whims into principles.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yeah, I think so too.
Calvin My life needs a rewind/erase button.
Hobbes And a volume control.
Calvin To make a bad day worse, spend it wishing for the impossible.
Calvin I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.
Calvin's Dad The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that is even worse.
Calvin My internal clock is on Tokyo time.
Calvin Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
Calvin If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again.
Calvin In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
Calvin What's it like to fall in love?
Hobbes Well... Say the object of your affection walks by...
Calvin Yeah?
Hobbes First, your heart falls into your stomach and splashes your innards. All the moisture makes you sweat profusely. This condensation shorts the circuits to your brain, and you get all woozy. When your brain burns out altogether, your mouth disengages and you babble like a cretin until she leaves.
Calvin That's love?!?
Hobbes Medically speaking.
Calvin Heck, that happened to me once, but I figured it was cooties!
Hobbes How come we play war and not peace?
Calvin Too few role models
Calvin There's an inverse relationship between how good something is for you, and how much fun it is.
Hobbes Do you think there's a God?
Calvin Well somebody's out to get me!
Calvin Trusting parents can be hazardous to your health.
Calvin There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse!
Calvin The strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can't, and the incapacity the tell the difference
Calvin I hate it when I can't gird my loins with funny animals.
Calvin I'm a simple man, Hobbes.
Hobbes You?? Yesterday you wanted a nuclear powered car that could turn into a jet with laser-guided heat-seeking missiles!
Calvin I'm a simple man with complex tastes.
Calvin You know how people are. They only recognize greatness when some authority confirms it.
Calvin The only skills I have the patience to learn are those that have no real application in life.
Calvin History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That's why events are always reinterpreted when values change. We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices.
Hobbes It's not the pace of life I mind. It's the sudden stop at the end.
Calvin I think life should be more like tv. I think all of life's problems ought to be solved in 30 minutes with simple homilies, don't you? I think weight and oral hygiene ought to be our biggest concerns. I think we should all have powerful, high-paying jobs, and everyone should drive fancy sports cars. All our desires should be instantly gratified. Women should always wear tight clothes, and men should carry powerful handguns. Life overall should be more glamorous, thrill-packed, and filled with applause, don't you think?
Calvin People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
Calvin It's only work if somebody makes you do it.
Calvin I've been thinking, Hobbes.
Hobbes On a weekend?
Calvin Well, it wasn't on purpose...
Calvin This morning I had a wonderful dream. By holding my arms out stiff and pushing down hard, I found I could suspend myself a few feet above ground. I flapped harder, and soon I was soaring effortlessly over the trees and telephone poles! I could fly! I folded my arms back and zoomed low over the neighborhood. Everyone was amazed, and they ran along under me as I shot by. Then I rocketed up so fast that my eyes watered from the wind. I laughed and laughed, making huge loops in the sky! ...That's when Mom woke me up and said I was going to miss the bus if I didn't get my bottom out of bed; 20 minutes later, here I am, standing in the cold rain, waiting to go to school, and I just remembered I forgot my lunch. Tuesdays don't start much worse than this.
Calvin I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal.
Calvin I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.
Hobbes I think if you're born, it's too late.
Calvin You know how old people always write letters to Dear Abby, complaining that their kids never write, call or visit? Those letters really crack me up.
Calvin Do you believe our destinies are determined by the stars?
Hobbes Nah.
Calvin Oh, I do.
Hobbes Really? How come?
Calvin Life's a lot more fun when you're not responsible for your actions.
Hobbes What I like is when you're looking and thinking and looking and thinking... And suddenly you wake up.
Calvin That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.
Calvin There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
Calvin It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
Calvin I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life ... Procrastinating and rationalizing.
Calvin: I'm a genius, but I'm a misunderstood genius.
Hobbes: What's misunderstood about you?
Calvin: Nobody thinks I'm a genius.
Calvin : You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
Hobbes : What mood is that?
Calvin : Last-minute panic.
"What state do you live in?"
"Denial."
"Why isn't my life like a situation comedy? Why don't I have a bunch of friends with nothing better to do but drop by and instigate wacky adventures? Why aren't my conversations peppered with spontaneous witticisms? Why don't my friends demonstrate heartfelt concern for my well being when I have problems? ...I gotta get my life some writers."
Calvin "Here's a movie we should watch."
Hobbes "Who's in it?"
Calvin "It says 'Japanese Cast'...two big rubbery monsters slug it out over major metropolitan centres in a battle for world supremacy...doesn't that sound great?"
Hobbes "And people say that foreign film is inaccessible."
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."
Susie: Why didn't you sign up to play baseball like the rest of the boys? Don't you like sports?
Calvin: I hate all the rules and organization and teams and ranks in sports. Somebody's always
yelling at you, telling you where to be, what to do, and when to do it. I figure when I want that, I'll
join the army and at least get paid.
Calvin: I don't understand it, Hobbes. The kids teased me when I wouldn't play baseball. Then they yelled at
me when I did play. Then the teacher called me a "quitter" when I stopped playing. Unless you're a
star you can't please anyone.
Hobbes: In that case, why not just please yourself?
Calvin: Because Mom won't let me move to Madagascar.
Reality continues to ruin my life.
Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and
you're just a reflection of him?
I liked things better when I didn't understand them
I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in and overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak
Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN!
Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the best of the choices available. Some people are idealists, standing for principle and refusing to compromise. And some people just act on any whim that enters their heads. I pragmatically turn my whims into principles.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yeah, I think so too.