5th time's a charm...
Stuff has calmed down, and I'm doing mostly good. However, tonight was something weird.
The warning may be overdoing it, but well, what I'm about to talk about is still sexual assault.
I went to a club tonight by myself. Big mistake. It's hard to get out on the dance floor when you're the only one there. Mingling isn't easy in a place where words are nearly impossible to get across. But that's not the only thing.
You're the only one looking out for yourself. I'd heard about the trolls before from various reviews of this club, but I'd personally never run into them. I'd seen them, but they mostly hung around the bar. I figured I'd be okay out on the dance floor.
Not so. An older, drunk guy started dancing around the area I was in. He seemed to be scoping out a lot of the other guys, so I didn't really pay him any mind. Until he started dancing around me while I was getting down. I admit that I tend to get sexual with my dance moves, but that's 1. because it's one of the only ways I know how to dance and 2. um, it's fun. That's it. But this guy sees it and starts making his way toward me and starts dancing up on me. I'm purposefully not going with his flow and only touch him occasionally with my hips. I figure, you know, he'll get the picture. But no, he straight up reaches down to my crotch and feels me up.
I'm frozen for a moment in this place between the dance/music and surreality of having just been felt up. And then he does it again. This guy is either too drunk to care or has way too much bravado for his own good. When I don't respond in kind, he takes my hand and puts it on his junk as if this will somehow interest me. Oh my, I couldn't tell you had a dick before, sir! I sure do now and would love to service it!
Suffice to say, I move away shortly thereafter, saying "I'm not interested" on the way, and separate myself from him with a crowd of people. And I continue dancing. Because I'm not going to let some fuckwad ruin the night.
Still, what happened to me was sexual assault. I didn't frame it that way at the time because well, it happened out of nowhere essentially. But the dude had no right to do what he did. That was unwanted, non-consensual sexual contact. I mean, I can laugh about it and all, but I think that's also a fucked-up thing. That I can see this as an isolated incident but still fit it into a narrative of unwanted sexual contact in clubs to where it's an EXPECTED thing. That I can see it as harmless because this kind of thing happens all the time. And at least it wasn't rape!
Sexual assault can lead to rape, though. And that's where I'm drawing the line. This did not give me any form of trauma. Sure, it creeped me out, but that's nothing like trauma. But it needs to be recognized for what it was. I wasn't just felt up; I wasn't simply groped; I was sexually assaulted tonight.
The warning may be overdoing it, but well, what I'm about to talk about is still sexual assault.
I went to a club tonight by myself. Big mistake. It's hard to get out on the dance floor when you're the only one there. Mingling isn't easy in a place where words are nearly impossible to get across. But that's not the only thing.
You're the only one looking out for yourself. I'd heard about the trolls before from various reviews of this club, but I'd personally never run into them. I'd seen them, but they mostly hung around the bar. I figured I'd be okay out on the dance floor.
Not so. An older, drunk guy started dancing around the area I was in. He seemed to be scoping out a lot of the other guys, so I didn't really pay him any mind. Until he started dancing around me while I was getting down. I admit that I tend to get sexual with my dance moves, but that's 1. because it's one of the only ways I know how to dance and 2. um, it's fun. That's it. But this guy sees it and starts making his way toward me and starts dancing up on me. I'm purposefully not going with his flow and only touch him occasionally with my hips. I figure, you know, he'll get the picture. But no, he straight up reaches down to my crotch and feels me up.
I'm frozen for a moment in this place between the dance/music and surreality of having just been felt up. And then he does it again. This guy is either too drunk to care or has way too much bravado for his own good. When I don't respond in kind, he takes my hand and puts it on his junk as if this will somehow interest me. Oh my, I couldn't tell you had a dick before, sir! I sure do now and would love to service it!
Suffice to say, I move away shortly thereafter, saying "I'm not interested" on the way, and separate myself from him with a crowd of people. And I continue dancing. Because I'm not going to let some fuckwad ruin the night.
Still, what happened to me was sexual assault. I didn't frame it that way at the time because well, it happened out of nowhere essentially. But the dude had no right to do what he did. That was unwanted, non-consensual sexual contact. I mean, I can laugh about it and all, but I think that's also a fucked-up thing. That I can see this as an isolated incident but still fit it into a narrative of unwanted sexual contact in clubs to where it's an EXPECTED thing. That I can see it as harmless because this kind of thing happens all the time. And at least it wasn't rape!
Sexual assault can lead to rape, though. And that's where I'm drawing the line. This did not give me any form of trauma. Sure, it creeped me out, but that's nothing like trauma. But it needs to be recognized for what it was. I wasn't just felt up; I wasn't simply groped; I was sexually assaulted tonight.