[Supernatural fanfic] Judas
I blame this all on gero_jimbo. Slightly AU in that it takes place between 6x11 "Appointment in Samarra" and 6x12 "Like a Virgin." Destiel, ahoy!
"Listen, Cas, I just don't care if you've got a war going on up there. We need you here. Now." Dean was pacing around Bobby's kitchen, one hand on his hip while the other hung limp at his side.
"I can't abandon my brothers and sisters whenever you need me to," Castiel replied in a weary voice. "I want to help. You must know I do, but--"
"But nothing, Cas!" Dean's fist impacted with the table. A shadow of pain passed over his face, but he was soon glaring at Castiel again. "My brother is on that bed, and he's not waking up. There has to be something you can do for him."
"Dean." Castiel approached him. "I told you not to put that soul back in him. You should have listened."
Dean's fist was inches from Castiel's face before the angel had finished his last sentence. "What the hell was I supposed to do?" He turned his back to the other man and walked a few paces away. "He's my brother, man, and something wasn't right with him. He wasn't right."
"But he was alive."
"Shut your damn mouth, Cas!" Dean snapped back as he faced Castiel once again. His expression was full of rage, fear, grief--too many emotions, but the strongest was rage. "You sit there pretty with the rest of your junkless family while my brother comes back from the cage broken, and we still don't know how or why he was brought back or even who brought him back. That--whatever it was, Cas--that wasn't Sam."
Castiel was silent for several moments. "I wish I could help, but there's nothing I can do for him. This isn't a matter of repairing physical matter. It's his soul, Dean. Even if I could do something to heal him, it would probably kill him."
Dean leaned against the kitchen door and slid down it until he was sitting on the floor. "I just... I can't lose him, Cas. Not after getting him back again. Whoever brought him back is a goddamn tease, and I hope they rot for it."
The angel glanced at the floor briefly before stepping in front of Dean and squatting to meet his eye level. "I will see what I can do, but I won't do it unless I have a favor."
"Anything."
There was a pregnant silence. "Kiss me."
Castiel was knocked on the floor, and Dean was up on his feet almost immediately. "What the hell, Cas? Sam's in a coma, and you want me to kiss you?"
The angel put a hand to his face. "You could have just said 'No.'"
"Look, forget it. Get your ass back up to heaven, fight your damn war, and leave us the hell alone."
Without another word, just the sound of wings flapping, Castiel was gone, and Dean was left alone. He kicked the wall and sighed. "Freaking angels."
***
Castiel was back in his favorite heaven, the Tuesday afternoon of an autistic man who drowned in a bathtub. This was where he came to think. He sat himself on the grass and looked up at the sky.
"What am I doing?" he asked himself.
"Everything wrong," a familiar British voice replied.
"Balthazar, what are you doing here?" Castiel was turned away from his brother, watching the clouds roll over the nearby hill.
"Just checking up on my favorite brother." Balthazar stood at Castiel's side and glanced down to him. "Looks like I wasn't far off. What's got you down?"
"Sam Winchester still hasn't recovered from having his soul put back in. It's my fault that it was gone in the first place. Now Dean is upset."
"What else is new?"
"I asked him to kiss me."
There was a very lengthy pause. "I'm sorry. Did I hear you correctly? Kiss you?"
Castiel would still not look at his brother. "Yes."
"My dear brother, I do believe you've finally lost it. Well, this whole rebellion thing, trying to open Purgatory, your first rebellion... All that aside, I believe this time, it's official."
"Everything I have done, I've done it for him, brother. He showed me that I didn't need to follow blindly, but that I could choose my own path."
"So now you want to move in together, get married, and adopt puppies? Cassie, you're an angel. Granted, that doesn't mean what it used to mean, but I'm fairly certain it doesn't involve shagging boys with daddy issues and martyr complexes."
Castiel shook his head and stared at his hands. "Whenever I'm around him--"
"Cassie, please. I just had lunch."
"--I feel...human."
"Well, I suppose it would be an improvement over that demon you stuffed your tongue down."
"Which--?" Castiel began, but Balthazar started laughing before he could finish.
"Oh dear. Cassie, you ARE a mess."
"Maybe I am."
"All right. I believe that's my cue to exit. Sorry, Cassie. It's getting a little too heavy for me. Off to have fun: orgies and whatnot." He turned to leave, but Castiel grabbed his hand before he could.
"Balthazar, is there anything in our arsenal that could help Sam Winchester?"
"You aren't seriously going to--" Balthazar looked into the other angel's eyes. "You are. Uh. I suppose there could be something. Let me take a quick look."
Castiel nodded and let go. Balthazar disappeared for what seemed like a minute before reappearing. He held a small vial of clear liquid in his hand. "Waters from the Pool of Bethesda. It's a little more contemporary than most of our others, and true, the waters were used to cure a physical ailment. However, nothing soothes the soul like a warm bath, right? Just pour this little beauty into some bath water, and hopefully, that will do the trick."
"Hope is all we have left," Castiel said as he rose and took the vial. "Thank you, brother. I will be back as soon as I can."
"You'd better be. This war isn't going to win itself, Cassie."
"I know." And he was gone.
"Of all the humans to fall in love with... You've got some strange tastes, Cassie." And Balthazar was gone as well.
***
"Dean."
Dean jumped, but this time he didn't have a quip. Only a glare that would melt steel. "Cas. If you don't get out of here right now--"
Castiel held up his hands, showing the vial to Dean. "Hold on. I have this. Waters from the Pool of Bethesda. It could help Sam."
"The Pool of Whowhatnow? And it 'COULD' help Sam? I need a lot more than 'COULD.' I need 'CAN' and 'WILL.'" With each emphasized word, he took a step closer to the angel.
"Bethesda. And I can't do that, Dean. Souls aren't an exact science, and this is more extensive damage to a soul than I have ever seen. The best we can do right now is 'could.'"
Dean continued to glare for a while before finally taking the vial. "So how does this water work? Pour it down his throat? What?"
"He needs to bathe in it."
"This isn't enough for a bath, Cas. And first you want to kiss me; now you want to see Sam naked? What is your problem, man?"
"Dean..."
"No, Cas. Tell me what the hell is going on. I have to be honest. I'm a little creeped out."
"I don't want to see Sam naked."
"Okay. But the kiss?"
"I... It was a joke."
"You are a terrible liar, Cas. Tell me the truth, man. Come on."
"I like you, Dean."
"Oh God. You're going chick flick on me? Cas, I can't handle this right now. My brother is downstairs, in a damaged-soul-induced coma. There's something big on the way that we have to stop. And now you're telling me that you 'LIKE' me? This isn't the time or the place. Not that there is a time or a place."
"I'm sorry."
"Look, let's just get this stuff in some bath water and see if it works. We'll worry about everything else later."
"Right."
***
Castiel waited outside for a couple of hours while Dean tried the water on Sam. Finally, the kitchen door opened, and Dean walked toward him. He was smiling, and there were tear stains on his cheeks. "It worked, Cas. Sammy's back."
Castiel offered a smile back at Dean. "I'm glad it worked."
Dean walked toward the angel and hugged him. "It really worked. He's whole."
Castiel hugged the man back but not too tightly. Suddenly, Dean pulled away a little and placed his lips on Castiel's. The angel inhaled sharply. He started to kiss Dean like he had kissed Meg as the plumber had demonstrated for him. This lasted for a few seconds before Dean finally stepped back and placed a finger to Castiel's lips.
"Don't read too much into it."
All Castiel could do was nod.
"Sam's not on his feet quite yet, so give it some time before you see him."
Again, the angel nodded.
"Thanks, Cas. You really pulled through this time." Dean opened the door and disappeared behind it.
Castiel stood there for another minute before finally disappearing himself.
***
Sitting in his usual spot in his usual heaven, Castiel wondered aloud to himself, "I wonder if this was how Judas felt."
"Listen, Cas, I just don't care if you've got a war going on up there. We need you here. Now." Dean was pacing around Bobby's kitchen, one hand on his hip while the other hung limp at his side.
"I can't abandon my brothers and sisters whenever you need me to," Castiel replied in a weary voice. "I want to help. You must know I do, but--"
"But nothing, Cas!" Dean's fist impacted with the table. A shadow of pain passed over his face, but he was soon glaring at Castiel again. "My brother is on that bed, and he's not waking up. There has to be something you can do for him."
"Dean." Castiel approached him. "I told you not to put that soul back in him. You should have listened."
Dean's fist was inches from Castiel's face before the angel had finished his last sentence. "What the hell was I supposed to do?" He turned his back to the other man and walked a few paces away. "He's my brother, man, and something wasn't right with him. He wasn't right."
"But he was alive."
"Shut your damn mouth, Cas!" Dean snapped back as he faced Castiel once again. His expression was full of rage, fear, grief--too many emotions, but the strongest was rage. "You sit there pretty with the rest of your junkless family while my brother comes back from the cage broken, and we still don't know how or why he was brought back or even who brought him back. That--whatever it was, Cas--that wasn't Sam."
Castiel was silent for several moments. "I wish I could help, but there's nothing I can do for him. This isn't a matter of repairing physical matter. It's his soul, Dean. Even if I could do something to heal him, it would probably kill him."
Dean leaned against the kitchen door and slid down it until he was sitting on the floor. "I just... I can't lose him, Cas. Not after getting him back again. Whoever brought him back is a goddamn tease, and I hope they rot for it."
The angel glanced at the floor briefly before stepping in front of Dean and squatting to meet his eye level. "I will see what I can do, but I won't do it unless I have a favor."
"Anything."
There was a pregnant silence. "Kiss me."
Castiel was knocked on the floor, and Dean was up on his feet almost immediately. "What the hell, Cas? Sam's in a coma, and you want me to kiss you?"
The angel put a hand to his face. "You could have just said 'No.'"
"Look, forget it. Get your ass back up to heaven, fight your damn war, and leave us the hell alone."
Without another word, just the sound of wings flapping, Castiel was gone, and Dean was left alone. He kicked the wall and sighed. "Freaking angels."
***
Castiel was back in his favorite heaven, the Tuesday afternoon of an autistic man who drowned in a bathtub. This was where he came to think. He sat himself on the grass and looked up at the sky.
"What am I doing?" he asked himself.
"Everything wrong," a familiar British voice replied.
"Balthazar, what are you doing here?" Castiel was turned away from his brother, watching the clouds roll over the nearby hill.
"Just checking up on my favorite brother." Balthazar stood at Castiel's side and glanced down to him. "Looks like I wasn't far off. What's got you down?"
"Sam Winchester still hasn't recovered from having his soul put back in. It's my fault that it was gone in the first place. Now Dean is upset."
"What else is new?"
"I asked him to kiss me."
There was a very lengthy pause. "I'm sorry. Did I hear you correctly? Kiss you?"
Castiel would still not look at his brother. "Yes."
"My dear brother, I do believe you've finally lost it. Well, this whole rebellion thing, trying to open Purgatory, your first rebellion... All that aside, I believe this time, it's official."
"Everything I have done, I've done it for him, brother. He showed me that I didn't need to follow blindly, but that I could choose my own path."
"So now you want to move in together, get married, and adopt puppies? Cassie, you're an angel. Granted, that doesn't mean what it used to mean, but I'm fairly certain it doesn't involve shagging boys with daddy issues and martyr complexes."
Castiel shook his head and stared at his hands. "Whenever I'm around him--"
"Cassie, please. I just had lunch."
"--I feel...human."
"Well, I suppose it would be an improvement over that demon you stuffed your tongue down."
"Which--?" Castiel began, but Balthazar started laughing before he could finish.
"Oh dear. Cassie, you ARE a mess."
"Maybe I am."
"All right. I believe that's my cue to exit. Sorry, Cassie. It's getting a little too heavy for me. Off to have fun: orgies and whatnot." He turned to leave, but Castiel grabbed his hand before he could.
"Balthazar, is there anything in our arsenal that could help Sam Winchester?"
"You aren't seriously going to--" Balthazar looked into the other angel's eyes. "You are. Uh. I suppose there could be something. Let me take a quick look."
Castiel nodded and let go. Balthazar disappeared for what seemed like a minute before reappearing. He held a small vial of clear liquid in his hand. "Waters from the Pool of Bethesda. It's a little more contemporary than most of our others, and true, the waters were used to cure a physical ailment. However, nothing soothes the soul like a warm bath, right? Just pour this little beauty into some bath water, and hopefully, that will do the trick."
"Hope is all we have left," Castiel said as he rose and took the vial. "Thank you, brother. I will be back as soon as I can."
"You'd better be. This war isn't going to win itself, Cassie."
"I know." And he was gone.
"Of all the humans to fall in love with... You've got some strange tastes, Cassie." And Balthazar was gone as well.
***
"Dean."
Dean jumped, but this time he didn't have a quip. Only a glare that would melt steel. "Cas. If you don't get out of here right now--"
Castiel held up his hands, showing the vial to Dean. "Hold on. I have this. Waters from the Pool of Bethesda. It could help Sam."
"The Pool of Whowhatnow? And it 'COULD' help Sam? I need a lot more than 'COULD.' I need 'CAN' and 'WILL.'" With each emphasized word, he took a step closer to the angel.
"Bethesda. And I can't do that, Dean. Souls aren't an exact science, and this is more extensive damage to a soul than I have ever seen. The best we can do right now is 'could.'"
Dean continued to glare for a while before finally taking the vial. "So how does this water work? Pour it down his throat? What?"
"He needs to bathe in it."
"This isn't enough for a bath, Cas. And first you want to kiss me; now you want to see Sam naked? What is your problem, man?"
"Dean..."
"No, Cas. Tell me what the hell is going on. I have to be honest. I'm a little creeped out."
"I don't want to see Sam naked."
"Okay. But the kiss?"
"I... It was a joke."
"You are a terrible liar, Cas. Tell me the truth, man. Come on."
"I like you, Dean."
"Oh God. You're going chick flick on me? Cas, I can't handle this right now. My brother is downstairs, in a damaged-soul-induced coma. There's something big on the way that we have to stop. And now you're telling me that you 'LIKE' me? This isn't the time or the place. Not that there is a time or a place."
"I'm sorry."
"Look, let's just get this stuff in some bath water and see if it works. We'll worry about everything else later."
"Right."
***
Castiel waited outside for a couple of hours while Dean tried the water on Sam. Finally, the kitchen door opened, and Dean walked toward him. He was smiling, and there were tear stains on his cheeks. "It worked, Cas. Sammy's back."
Castiel offered a smile back at Dean. "I'm glad it worked."
Dean walked toward the angel and hugged him. "It really worked. He's whole."
Castiel hugged the man back but not too tightly. Suddenly, Dean pulled away a little and placed his lips on Castiel's. The angel inhaled sharply. He started to kiss Dean like he had kissed Meg as the plumber had demonstrated for him. This lasted for a few seconds before Dean finally stepped back and placed a finger to Castiel's lips.
"Don't read too much into it."
All Castiel could do was nod.
"Sam's not on his feet quite yet, so give it some time before you see him."
Again, the angel nodded.
"Thanks, Cas. You really pulled through this time." Dean opened the door and disappeared behind it.
Castiel stood there for another minute before finally disappearing himself.
***
Sitting in his usual spot in his usual heaven, Castiel wondered aloud to himself, "I wonder if this was how Judas felt."