Train Me!
Title: Train Me!
Chapter: Five
Rating: Pg 13 light cursing
Pairing: Naru/Kaka
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto… I just drool over him!
Summery: Before the final phase of the Chuunin exams, Naruto begs
Kakashi for extra training and is denied! Naruto doesn't take it very
well.
`I can't believe it.'
`I can't believe it!'
I have to fight for everything I want and then fight ten times harder to keep it. I struggle my whole life to find people that I can believe in, only to start losing them a month after I open up.
Shikamaru, Neji, Kiba, and Chouji all came along with me to save this bastard who doesn't even want to be saved. Even Fuzzy Brows climbed out of his hospital bed to help this jerk and all Sasuke can do is whine about his hard life.
"You lack power and desire."
The idiot had the nerve to say something like that to me of all people.
I have more power within me that I refuse to tap fully than he will ever have. I have a strong enough desire to never be weak enough to give in to that power. He is the one whose desire blinds him and makes him weak.
"You are my closest friend. That is why there is value for me in killing you." He boasted.
True strength comes from holding up your friends and not from tearing them down. The Sasuke that I knew would have known the difference.
He fought to kill me and yet I held myself back in my first Rasengan. I wanted him back but nothing could make me want him dead. I cursed myself for this even as I allowed his Chidori to overpower me and throw us apart.
I finally knew for sure, my best friend wanted me dead.
I am used to this feeling of people wanting me dead, I am not used to remembering a time when they didn't. Maybe that is the reason why my heart was shattering within me.
He asked if I could read his mind by his punches. If I had been unable to, then it might have been easier to fight him without my heart getting in the way. Yes, he wanted me dead, but as I said I am used to this. What I read in his punches were desperation and pain.
It was the punch of a scared little boy who couldn't understand where mommy was and why she wasn't here.
I wonder now, if I had become your friend like I wanted instead of your rival, could I have eased this pain in you before it took such a deep root?
As your hand plunged through my chest, my only thought was that I couldn't lose you to Orochimaru. Even if I was not your friend, you were mine.
I refuse to lose a friend.
I have learned that my emotions call up the Kyuubi's power when they are strong enough. The first time I used the power was through my anger at Haku. The second time I used it out of fear for my life. This time, my sorrow was so great that it brought all other negative emotions along for the ride.
The burning heat of the red chakra welled up and surrounded me. I barely felt the fiery sensations of flesh knitting back together as I wallowed in my feelings.
I was hurting so badly for him that the Kyuubi's power radiated out of me, and he had the nerve to ask what I was.
He looked at me like the villagers did and judged me even as he tried to turn traitor.
"What are you?" He asked.
I only had one answer for such a question, "Your friend."
Most people don't realize it but the red chakra is painful to use. The more intense my emotions become, the more the pain will increase. On that day, I felt as though I was being ripped apart. I screamed my agony to the world in hopes of alleviating some of it.
"What the hell could you, who was alone from the start, understand about me, eh?!" he screamed.
I tried to explain to him that I finally do have a family and that he was a part of it. I tried to make him realize that his leaving would rip apart the small family that I finally have. I could see it in his eyes that I had reached him for a moment.
It was only there for a second but I saw the softening of his eyes before his pride stepped up to the plate again. He donned his forehead protector to fight me as an equal, yet still aimed for my death.
He fed me a line of crap about how I am strong because I was alone like him. He failed to remember that while I was alone still, I was the dead last of our class.
It was not until my Iruka-Sensei stood up for me that I began to grow stronger. He failed to remember that I was weak against Haku till Sasuke himself was there for me. I was terrified of Gaara till Sasuke reminded me that Sakura needed us.
He was so blinded by revenge that he failed to see that his hated rival is only ever strong when protecting those that he loves.
That is what I was doing with him right then, fighting to protect someone I love from themselves. Come hell or high water, I would save the brother that I treasured!
We attacked each other ferociously. We threw everything we had at each other. He used his fire jutsu on me with surprising results. It was so powerful that I believe he scared himself with it. He became angrier with me than ever before shouting out that I was too
late.
I believe he was afraid of what he had become and angry with me for not stopping him sooner. He wanted to be saved, yet refused to be saved.
In my stupor of realization I made the near fatal mistake of allowing him to slam me head first into the ground far below.
Even from the sewer of my mind, I could hear my best friend retching from what he had done.
The Kyuubi taunted me before he saved my sorry ass from death.
The pain that tore throughout my very cells returned my life and transformed me into what would later be called my Fox Cloak form.
The beast helped me to fight at a level that I had only dreamed of. Sasuke was powerless against me.
He stood before me and spouted off about being more special than I was. As if who was most special were actually important.
I don't want to be special. I want to be loved. And so did he if he would only admit it.
He transformed into the most beautifully hideous creature that I had ever seen. The fallout from our strongest weapons, Chidori and Rasengan, was so great that it changed the weather and created a black sphere of energy with us at the core.
A white-hot light overshadowed the black and left two monstrous fiends to see into each other's eyes and find the children who should have bonded long ago. I could see past the Kyuubi and he could finally see past the atrocious seal that projected his pain.
Kakashi later told me that he arrived to find us unconscious on the bank. We lay head to head and holding hands with just our first two fingers interlinked. He tried to separate us but was unable to.
I awoke somewhere along the way home on my love's strong back. Kakashi held me piggyback and a clone ran alongside us with Sasuke. Our hands were still tightly joined.
In desperate need of comfort, I rubbed my cheek against the smooth fabric of his mask. In his surprise, Kakashi stopped dead and looked over his shoulder at me. I felt his gaze but refused to take my eyes off of my friend for fear that he might still disappear.
"Are you all right love?" he whispered in my ear.
"No."
Gracefully, he maneuvered so that he held me face to face with him. "What hurts?" I could hear his worry.
Tears puddle in my eyes, "My soul hurts. This feeling is too big for it to just be my heart." I leaned the side of my forehead against his while still watching the sleeping boy next to us. “My only consolation is that the pain of nearly or even actually losing a dear person is nowhere near as bad as not having the person in your life to start with."
Sasuke's eyes opened and stared into mine. "Do you truly believe that?" he implored.
"Sasuke, I know it for a fact. Even when things got the worst, I still had the reassurance that I had a person who had at one time cared fore me. The empty feeling of total seclusion is an unbearable hell that no one should ever have to experience.
The next time that I opened my eyes, I found myself in a familiar room. I was once again in the hospital.
This time however, I was in a bed that was pushed up close to another bed and my hand was stretched out to grasp Sasuke's.
I heard the sound of stifled sobs and turned my head painfully. There sat the closest thing to a father that I could ever hope to have.
"Iruka-Nissan? " I croaked.
His head snapped up, "Naruto!" He exclaimed before throwing himself at my bedside. He tenderly grasped my bandaged hand. "I am so glad that you are alright."
A hesitant voice in the corner spoke up, "Naruto-Kun? "
"Sakura-Chan. " I replied.
"Thank you Naruto. You kept your promise to me and brought him back." She fidgeted with her hands as though very nervous. I suppose that it must have been hard for her to be so polite to me for a change.
"Thank you both for being here with us but I have to ask you to please leave." Sakura looked to be pissed and Iruka appeared heart broken. "It is not that I don't want you here," I rushed to assure them, "I just don't want anyone else around when Sasuke wakes up."
Understanding dawned in Iruka's chocolate eyes so he tactfully dragged the pink haired girl from the room.
Hours passed by slowly in the all white room. Thanks to the Kyuubi, I heal very fast. It was not until the early hours of the morning that Sasuke awoke.
"How do you feel Ani?" I whispered softly.
"Ani?" He replied.
"Yes silly. I told you earlier that I look to you as a brother and as someone that I strive to be like. That makes you my big brother, my Ani."
He stared at me for a heartbeat before bursting into tears that had been stored up since he was nine. I can't imagine how cleansing and uplifting it had to be for him to finally remove that self imposed weight.
I can tell you from experience that unshed tears can weigh you down like lead.
A long time later, the sun came pouring in through to window and lit up a bed with two teen boys hugging against the headboard. "I think that it is I who should strive to be more like you Naruto. Maybe it is I who should call you Ani." He chuckled.
I had never heard so sweet a sound as that before. It was the first time that I ever heard him happy, the kind of happy where your heart is at ease. "How about we call it even and become Ani to each other and no one else?"
He thought for a moment, "I like that idea."
For the first time in both of our lives, we had someone to talk to on equal ground about whatever we wanted to. Time had no meaning as a lifetime of loneliness was slowly appeased with friendship.
I had no idea that outside our room a certain Jounin was receiving the medical records, which fairly accurately mapped out our fight for him. He discovered how far Sasuke would go to leave and how far I would go to keep him there.
A very angry silver haired man burst into our private room. "You dared to use the Chidori against Naruto you bastard?!"
Sasuke recoiled in surprise and fear while I jumped between the two.
"Kakashi-Sensei, stop!" I commanded.
"Step aside Naruto." He growled.
"His mind was clouded but he is ok now. I swear to you that everything is alright now."
He gave me an incredulous look, "He almost killed you twice!"
"I know. I know what he tried to do but I also know that he never wanted to do it in the first place. Ero-Senin came by yesterday and strengthened the seal himself. You have nothing to worry about."
A noise behind Naruto drew their eyes to the raven-haired boy. "Is that why I feel calmer and more organized? Jiraiya helped?" His hand rose up to his neck. To the mark that now appeared a lot more complex then before.
"Yes, he sealed the curse away completely. All you have to do now is make sure that Orochimaru never gets close enough to your neck to undo the new addition and you should be fine Ani."
His relief was so fierce that it was a tangible force in the small room.
"I don't care." Was Kakashi petulant reply.
"Kakashi-Sensei? " I whispered.
He looked deep into my eyes, "You abandoned and hurt a friend. You let your revenge rule you and hurt Naruto. I will not forgive you that easily for what you have done." He addressed Sasuke as he continued to watch me.
With that said he disappeared from the room.
"Don't worry Ani, he will come around eventually." I consoled the sad boy. "You were always close to him and will be again. It just might take a little time."
Sasuke smiled at me, "As long as you stay my friend, I can handle anything."
Chapter: Five
Rating: Pg 13 light cursing
Pairing: Naru/Kaka
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto… I just drool over him!
Summery: Before the final phase of the Chuunin exams, Naruto begs
Kakashi for extra training and is denied! Naruto doesn't take it very
well.
`I can't believe it.'
`I can't believe it!'
I have to fight for everything I want and then fight ten times harder to keep it. I struggle my whole life to find people that I can believe in, only to start losing them a month after I open up.
Shikamaru, Neji, Kiba, and Chouji all came along with me to save this bastard who doesn't even want to be saved. Even Fuzzy Brows climbed out of his hospital bed to help this jerk and all Sasuke can do is whine about his hard life.
"You lack power and desire."
The idiot had the nerve to say something like that to me of all people.
I have more power within me that I refuse to tap fully than he will ever have. I have a strong enough desire to never be weak enough to give in to that power. He is the one whose desire blinds him and makes him weak.
"You are my closest friend. That is why there is value for me in killing you." He boasted.
True strength comes from holding up your friends and not from tearing them down. The Sasuke that I knew would have known the difference.
He fought to kill me and yet I held myself back in my first Rasengan. I wanted him back but nothing could make me want him dead. I cursed myself for this even as I allowed his Chidori to overpower me and throw us apart.
I finally knew for sure, my best friend wanted me dead.
I am used to this feeling of people wanting me dead, I am not used to remembering a time when they didn't. Maybe that is the reason why my heart was shattering within me.
He asked if I could read his mind by his punches. If I had been unable to, then it might have been easier to fight him without my heart getting in the way. Yes, he wanted me dead, but as I said I am used to this. What I read in his punches were desperation and pain.
It was the punch of a scared little boy who couldn't understand where mommy was and why she wasn't here.
I wonder now, if I had become your friend like I wanted instead of your rival, could I have eased this pain in you before it took such a deep root?
As your hand plunged through my chest, my only thought was that I couldn't lose you to Orochimaru. Even if I was not your friend, you were mine.
I refuse to lose a friend.
I have learned that my emotions call up the Kyuubi's power when they are strong enough. The first time I used the power was through my anger at Haku. The second time I used it out of fear for my life. This time, my sorrow was so great that it brought all other negative emotions along for the ride.
The burning heat of the red chakra welled up and surrounded me. I barely felt the fiery sensations of flesh knitting back together as I wallowed in my feelings.
I was hurting so badly for him that the Kyuubi's power radiated out of me, and he had the nerve to ask what I was.
He looked at me like the villagers did and judged me even as he tried to turn traitor.
"What are you?" He asked.
I only had one answer for such a question, "Your friend."
Most people don't realize it but the red chakra is painful to use. The more intense my emotions become, the more the pain will increase. On that day, I felt as though I was being ripped apart. I screamed my agony to the world in hopes of alleviating some of it.
"What the hell could you, who was alone from the start, understand about me, eh?!" he screamed.
I tried to explain to him that I finally do have a family and that he was a part of it. I tried to make him realize that his leaving would rip apart the small family that I finally have. I could see it in his eyes that I had reached him for a moment.
It was only there for a second but I saw the softening of his eyes before his pride stepped up to the plate again. He donned his forehead protector to fight me as an equal, yet still aimed for my death.
He fed me a line of crap about how I am strong because I was alone like him. He failed to remember that while I was alone still, I was the dead last of our class.
It was not until my Iruka-Sensei stood up for me that I began to grow stronger. He failed to remember that I was weak against Haku till Sasuke himself was there for me. I was terrified of Gaara till Sasuke reminded me that Sakura needed us.
He was so blinded by revenge that he failed to see that his hated rival is only ever strong when protecting those that he loves.
That is what I was doing with him right then, fighting to protect someone I love from themselves. Come hell or high water, I would save the brother that I treasured!
We attacked each other ferociously. We threw everything we had at each other. He used his fire jutsu on me with surprising results. It was so powerful that I believe he scared himself with it. He became angrier with me than ever before shouting out that I was too
late.
I believe he was afraid of what he had become and angry with me for not stopping him sooner. He wanted to be saved, yet refused to be saved.
In my stupor of realization I made the near fatal mistake of allowing him to slam me head first into the ground far below.
Even from the sewer of my mind, I could hear my best friend retching from what he had done.
The Kyuubi taunted me before he saved my sorry ass from death.
The pain that tore throughout my very cells returned my life and transformed me into what would later be called my Fox Cloak form.
The beast helped me to fight at a level that I had only dreamed of. Sasuke was powerless against me.
He stood before me and spouted off about being more special than I was. As if who was most special were actually important.
I don't want to be special. I want to be loved. And so did he if he would only admit it.
He transformed into the most beautifully hideous creature that I had ever seen. The fallout from our strongest weapons, Chidori and Rasengan, was so great that it changed the weather and created a black sphere of energy with us at the core.
A white-hot light overshadowed the black and left two monstrous fiends to see into each other's eyes and find the children who should have bonded long ago. I could see past the Kyuubi and he could finally see past the atrocious seal that projected his pain.
Kakashi later told me that he arrived to find us unconscious on the bank. We lay head to head and holding hands with just our first two fingers interlinked. He tried to separate us but was unable to.
I awoke somewhere along the way home on my love's strong back. Kakashi held me piggyback and a clone ran alongside us with Sasuke. Our hands were still tightly joined.
In desperate need of comfort, I rubbed my cheek against the smooth fabric of his mask. In his surprise, Kakashi stopped dead and looked over his shoulder at me. I felt his gaze but refused to take my eyes off of my friend for fear that he might still disappear.
"Are you all right love?" he whispered in my ear.
"No."
Gracefully, he maneuvered so that he held me face to face with him. "What hurts?" I could hear his worry.
Tears puddle in my eyes, "My soul hurts. This feeling is too big for it to just be my heart." I leaned the side of my forehead against his while still watching the sleeping boy next to us. “My only consolation is that the pain of nearly or even actually losing a dear person is nowhere near as bad as not having the person in your life to start with."
Sasuke's eyes opened and stared into mine. "Do you truly believe that?" he implored.
"Sasuke, I know it for a fact. Even when things got the worst, I still had the reassurance that I had a person who had at one time cared fore me. The empty feeling of total seclusion is an unbearable hell that no one should ever have to experience.
The next time that I opened my eyes, I found myself in a familiar room. I was once again in the hospital.
This time however, I was in a bed that was pushed up close to another bed and my hand was stretched out to grasp Sasuke's.
I heard the sound of stifled sobs and turned my head painfully. There sat the closest thing to a father that I could ever hope to have.
"Iruka-Nissan? " I croaked.
His head snapped up, "Naruto!" He exclaimed before throwing himself at my bedside. He tenderly grasped my bandaged hand. "I am so glad that you are alright."
A hesitant voice in the corner spoke up, "Naruto-Kun? "
"Sakura-Chan. " I replied.
"Thank you Naruto. You kept your promise to me and brought him back." She fidgeted with her hands as though very nervous. I suppose that it must have been hard for her to be so polite to me for a change.
"Thank you both for being here with us but I have to ask you to please leave." Sakura looked to be pissed and Iruka appeared heart broken. "It is not that I don't want you here," I rushed to assure them, "I just don't want anyone else around when Sasuke wakes up."
Understanding dawned in Iruka's chocolate eyes so he tactfully dragged the pink haired girl from the room.
Hours passed by slowly in the all white room. Thanks to the Kyuubi, I heal very fast. It was not until the early hours of the morning that Sasuke awoke.
"How do you feel Ani?" I whispered softly.
"Ani?" He replied.
"Yes silly. I told you earlier that I look to you as a brother and as someone that I strive to be like. That makes you my big brother, my Ani."
He stared at me for a heartbeat before bursting into tears that had been stored up since he was nine. I can't imagine how cleansing and uplifting it had to be for him to finally remove that self imposed weight.
I can tell you from experience that unshed tears can weigh you down like lead.
A long time later, the sun came pouring in through to window and lit up a bed with two teen boys hugging against the headboard. "I think that it is I who should strive to be more like you Naruto. Maybe it is I who should call you Ani." He chuckled.
I had never heard so sweet a sound as that before. It was the first time that I ever heard him happy, the kind of happy where your heart is at ease. "How about we call it even and become Ani to each other and no one else?"
He thought for a moment, "I like that idea."
For the first time in both of our lives, we had someone to talk to on equal ground about whatever we wanted to. Time had no meaning as a lifetime of loneliness was slowly appeased with friendship.
I had no idea that outside our room a certain Jounin was receiving the medical records, which fairly accurately mapped out our fight for him. He discovered how far Sasuke would go to leave and how far I would go to keep him there.
A very angry silver haired man burst into our private room. "You dared to use the Chidori against Naruto you bastard?!"
Sasuke recoiled in surprise and fear while I jumped between the two.
"Kakashi-Sensei, stop!" I commanded.
"Step aside Naruto." He growled.
"His mind was clouded but he is ok now. I swear to you that everything is alright now."
He gave me an incredulous look, "He almost killed you twice!"
"I know. I know what he tried to do but I also know that he never wanted to do it in the first place. Ero-Senin came by yesterday and strengthened the seal himself. You have nothing to worry about."
A noise behind Naruto drew their eyes to the raven-haired boy. "Is that why I feel calmer and more organized? Jiraiya helped?" His hand rose up to his neck. To the mark that now appeared a lot more complex then before.
"Yes, he sealed the curse away completely. All you have to do now is make sure that Orochimaru never gets close enough to your neck to undo the new addition and you should be fine Ani."
His relief was so fierce that it was a tangible force in the small room.
"I don't care." Was Kakashi petulant reply.
"Kakashi-Sensei? " I whispered.
He looked deep into my eyes, "You abandoned and hurt a friend. You let your revenge rule you and hurt Naruto. I will not forgive you that easily for what you have done." He addressed Sasuke as he continued to watch me.
With that said he disappeared from the room.
"Don't worry Ani, he will come around eventually." I consoled the sad boy. "You were always close to him and will be again. It just might take a little time."
Sasuke smiled at me, "As long as you stay my friend, I can handle anything."