a Dean-focused hurt/comfort comment meme (#6)

[hoodietime]

YESSS. \o/

This wasn’t supposed to happen for a few more weeks, but then we realized there's a mini-hiatus right now. Let's fill it with h/c goodness!

Comments

FILLED: Winds Out of the Southwest, part 1/?

[anonymous]

A/N: Written, in the last stages, to the accompaniment of various Weather Channel songs, because there is NO music more simultaneously relaxing and depressing. Also, fun fact? The Weather Channel started on May 2nd, 1982. That's probably indicative of...something

Re: FILLED: Winds Out of the Southwest, part 2/?

[anonymous]

Tonight, though, the weather's turning ugly

Re: FILLED: Winds Out of the Southwest, part 3/4

[anonymous]

When he first steps into the hotel room, he thinks that Dean's found some kind of stray in the parking lot and taken it into the bathroom to wash it down. Why Dean would want to drag some flea-infested mongrel into their bathtub - especially with the way he's been flinching at the least sight of a dog since he Came Back - Sam doesn't know. But it's the best explanation he can come up with for the sound that's coming from the open doorway, like some weird animal accompaniment to the lazy jazz playing over the late-night weather update. Sam shoves the hip flask into his pocket, rolls the jacket up carefully in his duffel bag where Dean can't grab it up absent-mindedly, and turns toward the light to explain to his brother that starting an impromptu humane society isn't really in their line of work. On the way, he snaps the power button on the TV, and the music swallows itself abruptly. He reaches the bathroom door, and stops

Re: FILLED: Winds Out of the Southwest, part 4/4

[anonymous]

It takes a long time, a lot of quiet babbling, and a lot of laboriously slow lessons in how to breathe again before Dean relaxes, uncurling from his tense position, stretching his legs across the bathroom floor and leaning his head back on the rim of the bathtub. He won't let Sam put his arm around him or stroke his hair the way Sam can remember Jessica doing for him every once in a while, but he doesn't say anything about the fact that Sam never lets go of his hand, and Sam keeps his thumb rubbing up and down the side of Dean's palm. They breathe together, the flat soap-smell of a hotel bathroom mixed with the stench of Dean's filthy pajamas. Twice, Sam sees the unspoken admission surge in his eyes, and he helps Dean haul himself up, holds him by the shoulders as he bends and jerks over the toilet, wipes his mouth when it's over

Re: FILLED: Winds Out of the Southwest, part 4/4

[salty_catfish]

This was very painful. I love how you tied the wheather omens into the story - I actually have a weakness for stories that build mood with weather but in this case it is meaningful beyond mood - it's part of the plot and the unsettled wheather reflecting Dean's unsettled state of body and mind. Dean can feel himself choking, pressed on every side by terrible, real sensations, and this time the feeling just won't go away. What a powerful line!
What a lie, but he has to tell it. I feel like this is such an integral part of S4 Sam's characterization.
And this, perfect: Something inside him's taking over, thrusting his neck out, racking his body and turning him inside out in a horrible rush of foulness.
Really brilliantly written!

Re: FILLED: Winds Out of the Southwest, part 4/4

[anonymous]

Thanks! Not sure exactly where the weather motif came from, but for some reason as soon as that first line came to me it felt really important that everything should tie back to that constant background noise. A sense of calm commentary on utter elemental chaos, if you will?

Re: FILLED: Winds Out of the Southwest, part 4/4

[salty_catfish]

Yes, that sense definitely comes across.

Re: FILLED: Winds Out of the Southwest, part 4/4

[jaimeykay]

I never wanted this fill to end, so I read it realllllly slowly ;)

Man, this hurt, and I just wanted to climb in there and give some hugs; I don't think I've ever felt hopeless reading a story, but I did here. Wonderful job.

Re: FILLED: Winds Out of the Southwest, part 4/4

[anonymous]

I feel so cruel.....

No, really, thanks. I'm fervid in my belief that the problems Dean's got in S4 aren't the kind that respond easily to words or cuddles or even the healing powers of hot chocolate, so, yeah, the only comfort going on here is the kind that doesn't actually do a whole lot of good. Which sucks for everybody involved, and I want to apologize to Sam and to everyone who reads this for the unhappiness and helplessness I've subjected us all to.

Re: FILLED: Winds Out of the Southwest, part 4/4

[roque_clasique]

Ah, this was excellent and so so sad.

Re: FILLED: Winds Out of the Southwest, part 4/4

[anonymous]

Thanks! "In-character" and "in canon" are the highest praise I could ask for, so...*blushes*.

It's really hard to find that balance, in S4, between the denial and unresponsiveness (on both boys' parts) that's so consistent in canon, and the crazy amounts of pain and love that you can see so clearly just under that uncommunicative surface. Everything about the situation screams "PLEASE JUST BAWL AND HUG EACH OTHER AND CUDDLE AND EAT CUPCAKES FOREVER," but every time I tried to send it more in that direction Dean was like, "Nope, not doing that, are you kidding?" So I ended up with this agonizing mess, because the only kind of emotional release that felt true enough to canon was the kind that comes from grief and panic so deep it just takes over your body and does awful, embarrassing things with it.

And Sam, well...he's got the same problem as his father. Should he be a total jerkass? Or should he pat Dean on the back and make him soup and hand him Kleenexes? There's some of that here, because this story needed some "comfort

Re: FILLED: Winds Out of the Southwest, part 4/4

[mad_server]

Man. The weather channel was such a great touch in this. It really did make the mood so cozy and so depressing at the same time. I felt like I was at home on a night off with Dean, all snuggled up and watching the world fall apart.

Dean's plight is totally totally credible and super-well-evoked, and then when Sam's comforting comes along it's totally in keeping with the show, like I could see S4 Sam delivering that gentleness and hand-holding.

Well done!

Re: FILLED: Winds Out of the Southwest, part 4/4

[anonymous]

Confession: I am a sucker for hand-holding.

Also, this: all snuggled up and watching the world fall apart. Exactly. Bedtime stories with Zachariah -- yeah, that'll give anyone a nervous breakdown.

Thanks for reading!

Re: FILLED: Winds Out of the Southwest, part 4/4

[maypoles]

Ohhh, this is such a perfect fit for s4, and in general.

It's so raw and tense in its wonderfulness. An all-around amazing fill; it's one I'll come back to for sure. <3333333