OK. I ate Burger King to-day (I do not recomend the new Chicken Italian Sanwich). And as I am getting ready to leave, an Asian mentally-handicapped employee of BK comes up to me with a napkin with his name and nunber on it, hands that and another napkin and pencil to me and tells me to write mine on there, too. I do, and then I ask what it's for, ( Read more... )

Bunny!

YENTL/ANSHEL: Why is it people who want the truth never believe it when they hear it?

DAVE THE LIGHTNING GUY: I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I think Depeche Mode is a sweet band!

DAVE THE LIGHTNING GUY: Say, have you seen that movie Clash of the Titans?
JOE YOUNG: Oh yeah, the greek mythology.
DAVE THE LIGHTNING GUY: Hey, I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I think unicorns are kick ass!

Enrico Pollini: I make a joke to help you forget how screwed you are.

CALIGULA: I have existed from the morning of the world and I shall exist until the last star falls from the night. Although I have taken the form of Gaius Caligula, I am all men as I am no man and therefore I am a God.

MAN: So, I'm tendin' bar there at Ecklund and Swedlin's last Tuesday and this little guy's drinkin' and he says, "So where can a guy find some action? I'm goin' crazy down there at the lake." And I says, "What kinda action?" and he says, "Woman action, what do I look like?" And I says, "Well, what do *I* look like, I don't arrange that kinda thing ( Read more... )

Dale Cooper: Major, I'm going to take a moment here. I feel the call of nature. There's nothing quite like urinating out in the open air.

RAY: If you point a gun at someone, you'd better make sure you shoot him, and if you shoot him you'd better make sure he's dead, because if he isn't then he's gonna get up and try to kill you.

Verbal Kent: The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.

And then...

Verbal Kent: Keaton once said, "I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of him." Well I believe in God, and the only thing that scares me is Keyser Soze.