i can't handle this feeling. please pretend to like me for one more day. please pretend to care about me again. ugh. i hate asking you "please don't do this". but don't. moreso - please start looking at me. really looking. i am a good person. i care so much about you. i love so much about you. isn't there anything of me to love? why is it so hard ( Read more... )

i can't sleep. i am alone. its so quiet in my room ( Read more... )

Im watching Laguna Beach and right now i feel exactly like LC on the camping trip they go on. completely alone and outcasted, but not wanting to ruin it for everyone else. that is me exactly in life. i can't be home, because it is so weird around my mom and family. and now jt. oh now jt. he lied to me. he lied to my face. he wants his exgirlfriend ( Read more... )

ok now im fucking crying. i hate my mom, i hate my house. i hate being here. i have to move out. i have no freedom. they bitch at me for every single thing i do. they just took away the only thing in the world that makes me happy right now. it is not fair at all. fuck "personal space" and "personal freedom", and them trying to "lessen the rules" to ( Read more... )

Im in a weird mood. Not happy, but not necessarily sad or mad. I kind of feel like i need to cry over you though. jesus, you are probably the only thing i cry about anymore. it's really sad when i think about it. you make me so happy, yet i cry so much. why are things so awkward sometimes? why can't we just live in fairy world, and be happy ( Read more... )

today is going to be an on/off day. good things will happen. bad things will happen. i'm going to the olive garden for lunch = a good thing. going with coooooool girls = good thing. going xmas shopping for JT = good thing. missing class this morning = bad thing. going to work tonight with the owner = very bad thing. coming home to do nothing (ugh ( Read more... )

p.s. that title was JUST said on my t.v. that is right folks, i am currently viewing the nick at nite marathon of the great mr. squarpants and his dear friend patrick. super duper. today was very blah. jt spent the night and we slept about not at all. i was so freaking tired today, and had alot to do, kind of. i had class at 8, and woke up at 7: ( Read more... )

oh man, i want to die. i am so sick. seriously, i've been sick for so long, and its only getting worse. and today at the doctor i had to get a TB test, since robbie (drummer in jeffs band) has it. ugh, my head hurts and i have a stuffed nose, and red eyes, and swollen throat, and band-aided arm (from the test). and im supposed to go see Shark Tale ( Read more... )

have i finally began to let go? i have no idea. but i spoke my mind, i didn't back down.

he'd better tell me he's sorry.

So, apparently last week I stole tips off a table at work. At least thats what my manager informed me of last night. And he also said because of it, people aren't wanting to work with me anymore. Hmmm cool. SINCE I DIDN'T DO IT. And so for the rest of the night, NO ONE talked to me at all. Except the other host. And what did he say ( Read more... )