(no subject)
I miss him. The only guy that treated me right and the only guy that I have ever hurt.I miss talking to him all day and everyday. I actually miss fighting with him everyday. I miss our stupid little arguements where I'd hang up on him and he'd call me right back. I miss the times he would piss me off and he'd tell me "Baby shut up. I love you." I can't get his face out of my head. I can't get the sound of his voice out of my mind. I don't know if I want it out. All I can think about is all the mistakes I made and all the regrets I have. I pushed him out of my life for so long that he finally just left. It's weird having him gone after so long. It's weird that he never calls me or tells me he loves me. I guess I always expected him to be here and now he isn't and I know it's all my fault. Is it wrong for me to miss him so much? Is it wrong to still love him after so long? I don't love him any less than I did before. I only miss him more. I guess the saying is true. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. I just have to wonder if he still loves me. If he ever thinks about me? If he misses me...I'm just too scared to ask him because I'm scared he is over me. I know if it's meant to be, it will be. It's just hard to let fate take over and leave it alone. Why did I take him for granted? I was unhappy because of our lack in the physical department of our relationship. So I gave up on a truly great guy because he wasn't putting out. Am I a hypocrite or what? I miss him. I love him. I think about him constantly. I just wish he knew. I just wish I had the guts to tell him. Why would he even give me yet ANOTHER chance? I have hurt him so many times. I have fucked things up so much. I'm an idiot.