(no subject)
THiS iS MAiNLY AN UPDATE WiTH S0ME 0F MY TH0UGHTS//W0RRiES//FEARS.
iM S0 LUCKY. i REALLY TRULY AM. i ALWAYS TAKE WHAT i HAVE F0R GRANTED. i HAVE A GREAT FAMiLY(S0ME DAYS), W0NDERFUL FRiENDS&&AN AMAZiNG B0YFRiEND. &&iM S0 SCARED THAT iM G0iNG T0 L0SE ALL 0F iT LiKE i HAVE BEF0RE. MY FAMiLY&&i G0 THRU G00D&&BAD TiMES&&i REALLY H0PE THiNGS D0NT TURN F0R THE W0RSE AGAiN. iVE L0ST AL0T 0F FRiENDS THiS YEAR&&i H0PE i D0NT L0SE ANYM0RE BC THEY ARE ALL TRULY AMAZiNG. i HAVE THiS W0NDERFUL B0YFRiEND THAT iM SCARED 0F L0SiNG. EVERY0NE HAS BEEN ASSURiNG ME THAT HE iSNT G0iNG ANYWHERE(EXCEPT B00T CAMP) BUT THE TH0UGHT STiLL LiNGERS.
ME&&HiM WERE iN HiS TRUCK LAST NiGHT JUST TALKiNG AB0UT SHiT&&HE MADE ME FEEL BETTER BUT iM S0 DAMN SKEPTiCAL iT PiSSES ME 0FF! i WAS TELLiNG HiM THAT GUYS ALWAYS CHEAT 0N ME&&LEAVE ME&&iM SCARED THAT'S G0iNG T0 HAPPEN W/ HiM T00. THAT i WAS W0RRiED AB0UT HiM LEAViNG BC i DiDNT WANT HiM T0 FiND ANY0NE ELSE WHiLE HES G0NE. HE T0LD ME THAT HE W0NT BE ABLE T0 FiND ANY0NE AS G00D AS ME BUT i JUST CANT BELiEVE HiM&&i HATE THAT!
iM JUST S0 SCARED. i REALLY AM. i HAVE S0METHiNG&&i D0NT WANT T0 L0SE iT. HE MAKES ME FEEL LiKE A BETTER PERS0N&&WHEN iM WiTH HiM, N0THiNG ELSE MATTERS BUT BEiNG WiTH HiM. i L0VE THAT FEELiNG. i FEEL SAFE WiTH HiM. i D0NT HAVE A SiNGLE CARE EXCEPT AB0UT HiM. &&i L0VE THAT BUT i HATE iT AT THE SAME TiME. iM FALLiNG F0R HiM&&iM S0 SCARED THAT iM G0iNG T0 GET HURT. i KN0W HES FALLiNG F0R ME T00 BUT iTS JUST HARD F0R ME T0 ACCEPT THAT.
i KN0W HES W0RRiED AB0UT LEAViNG T00. HE SAiD HE WANTED T0 G0 BEF0RE BC HE DiDNT HAVE A G/F THAT HE CARED AB0UT, BUT THEN i KiND 0F P0PPED iNT0 HiS LiFE&&i W0ULDNT EVEN iMAGiNE ASKiNG HiM N0T T0 F0LL0W HiS DREAMS. HE THiNKS THAT WHEN HE LEAVES, B0B iS G0iNG T0 START CALLiNG ME&&BUGGiNG ME AB0UT THE WH0LE CHRiS THiNG. i REALLY WiSH HE W0ULDNT THiNK LiKE THAT! HE iS THE 0NLY GUY THAT MATTERS T0 ME&&THE 0NLY GUY i SEE. MY EYES HAVE ST0PPED SEARCHiNG BC i HAVE FiNALLY F0UND WHAT iM L00KiNG F0R.
iVE ALWAYS SETTLED F0R SEC0ND BEST, BUT THiS TiME, i REALLY F0UND iT. HES SMART, HES FUNNY, HE TREATS ME WELL, HES SARCASTiC..HES EVERYTHiNG i WANT&&M0RE. ALM0ST EVERYDAY AT W0RK, i GET HiT 0N BY GUYS&&GUYS TRYiNG T0 GET MY NUMBER 0R GiVE ME THEiRS BUT i HAVE ALWAYS REFUSED. i HAVE THiS AMAZiNG GUY&&iM N0T LETTiNG ANY0NE 0R ANYTHiNG FUCK iT UP!
EVERY0NE THiNKS iM NAiVE F0R CARiNG AB0UT HiM S0 MUCH BC WE HAVEN'T BEEN T0GETHER THAT L0NG. iT D0ESNT MATTER. WE 'TALKED' F0R A WHiLE BEF0RE WE STARTED DATiNG&&WE SPEND ALM0ST EVERYDAY T0GETHER. i FEEL WHAT i FEEL. i CANT C0NTR0L iT&&i W0NT! iF Y0U THiNK iM DUMB&&NAiVE, THEN i D0NT EVEN CARE RiGHT N0W.
i WANT T0 SEE HiM EVERYDAY, i REALLY TRULY D0. BUT HE iS G0iNG T0 MAKE iT S0 HARD T0 LET HiM G0 WHEN HE HAS T0 LEAVE. i T0LD HiM THAT WE HAVE T0 GET ACCUST0MED T0 N0T SEEiNG EACH 0THER THAT MUCH BECAUSE HE iS G0iNG T0 BE LEAViNG S00N&iT WiLL MAKE iT HARDER 0N US BUT THEN HE SAYS THAT HE WANTS T0 SEE ME EVERYDAY BC iF HE D0ES 0R HE D0ESNT, HES LEAViNG&&HE WANTS T0 SPEND AS MUCH TiME WiTH ME AS P0SSiBLE. i UNDERSTAND BUT iTS G0iNG T0 BE S000 HARD T0 SAY G00DBYE F0R 6 M0NTHS. THATS AN iNSANELY L0NG TiME! BUT HES W0RTH iT&&iD RATHER BE L0NELY&&MiSSiNG HiM THAN BEiNG WiTH0UT HiM.