English Assignment
This is my English Assignment, and I decided to post it here. :D
Putting it in LJ Cuts, to save space -- also is a public post. o.o
Task:
Write a humourous social critique using selected techniques in a genre of your own choice.
The Jurassic Park of Politics
By: Joshua Anderson.
Rushing down the hallway, as quick as can be -- Though, it really is two steps a minute. It's all ol' Johnny's fault, I say! Does not give one ounce of concern about us old people, that he just runs on over, shakes our hands, and is off again! Doesn't stop to say sorry after he's knocked us all off of our wheelchairs, or even bother to say 'Hi' after he rushes past the nurses. All this rushing about, it's making me dizzy! Rushing here, rushing there, rushing to give that baby a kiss, and then back to the press to proclaim his love of children. At his age, I at least stopped once in awhile, to look at the people I talked to. But, that would take too much time to care about those 'Little people'. Even though, most of the population happens to be a good bit taller than him.
Anyway, I bet you're wondering how my speed is all Johnny's fault, eh? Well, it all started like this... Sorry, but I seem to have forgotten where I placed that other half of my brain. Won't be a moment!
Ah yes, here it is. Beside those teeth I found in the hallway; they'll come in handy one day.
Now, where were we? That's right! It was a dark and stormy night... Oh, whoops. Wrong story!
It was the hour after the election results were announced, and everyone in the home was partying -- Not because of who won, but due to the fact that we wouldn't be bothered with all that propaganda for another four years! Cracking open that bottle of cough syrup, and passing it around between us all, we danced the night away. Half way through, we were even joined by some nice men in white suits! So much fun, I say.
Being that daring fella I am, I decided to do a bit of break dancing on our piano top; last time I'll do that! I had that many people join in: The nurses, those nice men in white suits, and even the doctors! Such a wonderful time it was, but then, due to my drunken stupor induced by cough syrup, slipped off the top of the piano. Everyone must have liked it, because I brought the entire house down!
So, here I am, walking around with a walking frame. You know. With all these politicians rushing around, someone should go and knock them off a piano top, or at least tell them that if they want to get their million dollars plus annual salary, they must start using walking frames.
It would slow them down, and be oh-so-much more safer for us 'little people', and not having to watch out for all their rushing around, jumping out of their way when they came around. For those mothers that don't want their babies kissed, then they can quickly run into the house and lock up when they hear that tip-tap, tip-tap of their walking frames coming ever closer.
Now that I mention it, that kind of sounds like that T-Rex on Jurassic Park. Except, that was more of a BOOM BOOM, but still, the same idea is there. Tyrannosaurs Rex's hunt for food, and are predators. Politicians hunt for votes... and are predators. So, are Tyrannosaurs Rex's and Politicians one in the same? Probably. Especially good ol' Johnny -- He certainly looks like he came from the Jurassic period.
So, once again the big bad -- and ugly -- dinosaurs are back to take over our world, squishing out us little people in favour of their salary. Say good bye to all that we once knew, and treasured. Goodbye Freedom. Goodbye, Sanity. Goodbye to all those other good retail stores that share their names with something that might be an American name. Hello, America!
Didn't you know that Australia is really just another state of America; or so they think? Good ol' George W. Bush got onto our ol' Johnny telling him that he is now in control of the world, and the we all must bow down to him! Johnny, of cause believed him -- Silly fool -- and in private, declared Australia a state of America. Don't you wonder where all these Americans are coming from, and why there are so many American companies here? Johnny being from the Jurassic age and all, forgot to tell us of this new development due to the fact that he was rushing around to all those babies -- Those walking frames are starting to look real good now, aren't they.
So, while we are under the leadership of Johnny Howard, or as Mr Bush thinks; himself, we will find these next fours years, very interesting indeed. What, with all these dinosaurs rushing around on walking frames. How could it not be interesting?
Oh, look. The men in white suits are here to take me for a little ride. Until next time!
Word count: 825.
Putting it in LJ Cuts, to save space -- also is a public post. o.o
Task:
Write a humourous social critique using selected techniques in a genre of your own choice.
The Jurassic Park of Politics
By: Joshua Anderson.
Rushing down the hallway, as quick as can be -- Though, it really is two steps a minute. It's all ol' Johnny's fault, I say! Does not give one ounce of concern about us old people, that he just runs on over, shakes our hands, and is off again! Doesn't stop to say sorry after he's knocked us all off of our wheelchairs, or even bother to say 'Hi' after he rushes past the nurses. All this rushing about, it's making me dizzy! Rushing here, rushing there, rushing to give that baby a kiss, and then back to the press to proclaim his love of children. At his age, I at least stopped once in awhile, to look at the people I talked to. But, that would take too much time to care about those 'Little people'. Even though, most of the population happens to be a good bit taller than him.
Anyway, I bet you're wondering how my speed is all Johnny's fault, eh? Well, it all started like this... Sorry, but I seem to have forgotten where I placed that other half of my brain. Won't be a moment!
Ah yes, here it is. Beside those teeth I found in the hallway; they'll come in handy one day.
Now, where were we? That's right! It was a dark and stormy night... Oh, whoops. Wrong story!
It was the hour after the election results were announced, and everyone in the home was partying -- Not because of who won, but due to the fact that we wouldn't be bothered with all that propaganda for another four years! Cracking open that bottle of cough syrup, and passing it around between us all, we danced the night away. Half way through, we were even joined by some nice men in white suits! So much fun, I say.
Being that daring fella I am, I decided to do a bit of break dancing on our piano top; last time I'll do that! I had that many people join in: The nurses, those nice men in white suits, and even the doctors! Such a wonderful time it was, but then, due to my drunken stupor induced by cough syrup, slipped off the top of the piano. Everyone must have liked it, because I brought the entire house down!
So, here I am, walking around with a walking frame. You know. With all these politicians rushing around, someone should go and knock them off a piano top, or at least tell them that if they want to get their million dollars plus annual salary, they must start using walking frames.
It would slow them down, and be oh-so-much more safer for us 'little people', and not having to watch out for all their rushing around, jumping out of their way when they came around. For those mothers that don't want their babies kissed, then they can quickly run into the house and lock up when they hear that tip-tap, tip-tap of their walking frames coming ever closer.
Now that I mention it, that kind of sounds like that T-Rex on Jurassic Park. Except, that was more of a BOOM BOOM, but still, the same idea is there. Tyrannosaurs Rex's hunt for food, and are predators. Politicians hunt for votes... and are predators. So, are Tyrannosaurs Rex's and Politicians one in the same? Probably. Especially good ol' Johnny -- He certainly looks like he came from the Jurassic period.
So, once again the big bad -- and ugly -- dinosaurs are back to take over our world, squishing out us little people in favour of their salary. Say good bye to all that we once knew, and treasured. Goodbye Freedom. Goodbye, Sanity. Goodbye to all those other good retail stores that share their names with something that might be an American name. Hello, America!
Didn't you know that Australia is really just another state of America; or so they think? Good ol' George W. Bush got onto our ol' Johnny telling him that he is now in control of the world, and the we all must bow down to him! Johnny, of cause believed him -- Silly fool -- and in private, declared Australia a state of America. Don't you wonder where all these Americans are coming from, and why there are so many American companies here? Johnny being from the Jurassic age and all, forgot to tell us of this new development due to the fact that he was rushing around to all those babies -- Those walking frames are starting to look real good now, aren't they.
So, while we are under the leadership of Johnny Howard, or as Mr Bush thinks; himself, we will find these next fours years, very interesting indeed. What, with all these dinosaurs rushing around on walking frames. How could it not be interesting?
Oh, look. The men in white suits are here to take me for a little ride. Until next time!
Word count: 825.