I didnt want to post anything. I didnt want my feelings to be an open page, and as I write this, I am not sure how much will actually come out
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(*(*(*(*Eden*)*)*)*)*)karmasoultraApril 10 2003, 17:54:39 UTC
Honey, I know... My mind is racing with thoughts and questions, my heart is broken for a lost friend and my heart aches for Chase. I don't understand it and I keep waiting for my phone to ring and someone say that it was a sick "April Fools" joke. She never let anyone think that she was hurting THAT much inside to not seek out help from those of us who loved her. What happened?? WHY?? Why was there not a moment, a second, where she snapped out of it and reached out to one of us?? I am in total shock and disbelief. I don't want to believe that she is gone. I am here if you need me, Eden.
Hi, I found your journal via reading comments on Aria's. I think I have an idea on what you you're referring to with your friend and I am so terribly sorry for your loss and the pain left behind. I, too, had someone very close to me end their own life and I feel horribly guilty to this day about it. I'd tried talking to her a couple of times but had no idea she was as far as she was in depression. She was the best friend I had here after I moved from California to Colorado in 2005 and could always make me laugh and feel great. The point is that in my opinion and I know this is far easier said then done, the person had to be ill and therefore (I don't know if you believe in God or not) God looks down on them with compassion and understanding and calls them home. I feel I let her down to this day, not noticing her inner struggles and pains. The truth is that no matter what I did or any of us did, she was bound to feel how she was because of her place in this world. I still do wonder if I could've tried harder and hope that I'll get a
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