chomping at the bit. kai/chen. one.
name: chomping at the bit (sehun’s big race!)
rate: pwp (plot with ponies) (porn without ponies)
k-i-s-s-i-n-g: kai/chen (doublejong doublesexxxy)
this is about: jongin hires reckless jockey chen to ride his little pony.
counting the words: 12k
doodles: this fic is about horses because horse_exobooks is horses.
e_________________________________e
♘
chen has a swagger. it’s the first thing kim jongin notices as he watches the jockey strut off the track like he owns it, even though he’s just lost spectacularly. like, last-place-by-a-mile, the-other-horses-are-already-back-at-the-barn-in-a-different-state-and-even-florida’s-votes-have-been-counted-from-last-month’s-election last. “that’s the one,” says jongin to chanyeol, who shakes his head and looks very much like he would like a finger or two of whiskey. “he’s our man.”
“he’s not my man,” chanyeol says. “he’s your man. all yours. good luck.”
“i thought you were going to help me with this, chanyeol.”
“i was.” chanyeol scratches at his head before putting his white stetson back on. “until you decided you wanted to hire the most reckless jockey on the circut for your polly pocket pony.”
“sehun is not a children’s toy, chanyeol. she’s a race horse. a great one.”
“you can’t start saying that until she’s won something.” chanyeol, who has his hands in his worn out denim pockets, grins too big for his face, mockingly, and jongin strategically doesn’t punch him in the face. “which, in my humble opinion, is going to be a lot harder with mr. mouthy over there.”
“nothing about you is humble, chanyeol.” he surveys chanyeol’s designer belt with its oversized buckle and grimaces.
“especially not my--” jongin kicks at him, but misses, sending a cloud of dirt threateningly at chanyeol’s shins, and chanyeol laughs but jongin knows on the inside he’s cowering. because jongin is very intimidating. yeah.
“why are you guys still here?” jongin looks up to see the subject of their conversation leaning over the railing, cap tucked under his arm and face sticking with sweat and trackdust from the race. “aren’t you kim jongin? your daddy and his horses are long gone.”
“i’m not here for my dad,” jongin replies, bristling. he steps closer to the railing, and chen is small, so small, when jongin gets closer. “i’m here for you.”
chen raises one eyebrow curiously. “little old me? whatever for, rich boy?”
“you’re not that little, for a jockey,” chanyeol says. “actually you’re kind of big. too big.”
“too big for what?” asks chen, both eyebrows now raised. there’s a smear of mud right across the chest of his silks, and jongin thinks it’s from the nasty slide he and the horse he’d been riding, run-n-gun, took in the second lap.
“well,” says jongin, “you’re a jockey. what else could i need from you? i want you to ride a horse.”
“what kind of horse?” chen’s lips curl downward like an angry kitty, and jongin feels the urge to move back before he remembers that he’s super intimidating and moves forward instead. he thinks he hears chanyeol snickering.
“a very tiny horse,” chanyeol says, and jongin clears his throat.
“a race horse,” jongin says. “my race horse.”
“oooh,” chen says. “i’m interested. your daddy’s not going to like that. he never hires me.”
“it’s not daddy’s decision,” is jongin’s reply. “it’s mine. i want you.”
“this is a mistake,” chanyeol mutters, just loud enough for jongin to hear.
chen has his head cocked to the side, amused, and he looks even more like a farm cat like that, perched on the railing and feigning like he’s too good for jongin. he’s not. jongin knows the rumors and knows this was chen’s seventh consecutive loss. he needs a win or his career’s over, and no one else is willing to hire him. and hell, jongin has always been a big fan of taking chances.
“and what makes you think i want to ride your tiny horse?” it comes out like an innuendo, and jongin flushes from the tips of his ears to his toes.
“just come meet her,” jongin says. “if you don’t like her, you can walk away, no harm done.” he straightens his back. “but you’ll like her. she is an excellent horse.”
“has a face just like the guy you named her after, too,” chanyeol says, and chen laughs for the first time. it changes his whole face. jongin definitely does not notice his superior bone structure.
“all right, let’s meet the lady, then,” chen says. “i’ll drop by your stable tomorrow.”
♘
chen, or kim jongdae, depending on whether you know him on the circuit or off, is a fucking menace. he’s chewing his massive wad of gum like he’s a horse himself, blowing ginormous obnoxious bubbles the size of his face as he walks jauntily into the racing stable.
“i see you found the place,” says jongin.
“i’ve been here before,” chen replies. and oooh, there’s another bubble and jongin fantasizes about watching the bubble explode and seeing it stuck all over chen’s stupid smug face.
“i thought my father never hired you.”
“that doesn’t mean i’ve never been here.” jongin thinks someone as small as chen should have a greater sense of self-preservation. jongin is twice his size and could totally break him in half if he wanted to. “let’s meet the little lady.”
“she doesn’t like to be called small,” jongin says. this whole chen thing is a complete mistake. for once in his life chanyeol was right and-- “she makes this horrible noise...”
“reminds me of myself in high school,” chen says. “now i’m relieved.” he’s still smirking, and he wipes his hands on his jeans as he looks up at jongin. there’s not a lot of light in the stables, but there’s enough to catch chen’s eyes. “i’ll watch my words with your horse."
“she’s... right this way.” jongin turns away from chen and his entire pack of bubblicious and his disgusting gnawing and smirking, and looks down at the long rows of stalls. this is jongin’s dad’s racing stable. jongin remembers when he was only 3 feet high and the stall doors seemed unapproachable. now he’s ridden every horse in here at least once.
chanyeol is standing by sehun’s stall, one hand along her nose and the other resting easy on the door. he’s still wearing his hat. chen is amused. jongin can see it in the way his grin gets even more shiteating.
either that, or the way he starts whistling the lone ranger theme song, gum shoved into one cheek.
“sehun knows something’s up today,” chanyeol says. “she’s been through three buckets of oats this morning.”
“woah,” chen says.
“she’s an emotional eater,” jongin says defensively. “she just gets stressed out sometimes.”
“okay, sure,” chen says. “so chanyeol here talks to the horse and you treat it like a girl who’s gotten dumped on valentine’s day.”
“sehun’s a very special horse.” sehun chooses that moment to take a bite of jongin’s hair, and chen almost spits out his gum.
“emotionally eating you,” chen says. “she’s probably getting revenge for naming her sehun. what kind of name is that for a race horse.”
“well, what kind of name is chen for a jockey?” jongin replies after a pause, feeling unnecessarily put out by chen’s general air of superiority.
“it’s not sehun’s fault she looks like jongin’s friend in the face,” chanyeol pipes in, clearly having decided that since jongin has chosen chen as his jockey, he might as well help them get along by playing interference. chanyeol does that a lot. because jongin has the social skills of your average platypus.
chen steps closer, standing up on his toes so he can get a better look. “i could open the door for you?” jongin offers. “or get you a stepstool.”
“shut up, beefcake, i’m bonding.” chen runs his hand right up between sehun’s eyes, and she gives a pleased little whinny before licking out with her tongue. “you want sugar, do you?”
“don’t give her that,” jongin says, and chen gives him a look
“three pails of oats.” chen’s deadpan response belies his affectionate combing of sehun’s forelock. he produces a cube of sugar from nowhere, basically, and proceeds to ignore jongin’s dissatisfied hmmphs and chanyeol’s deep chuckles. his cheek is still bloated with an entire pack of gum and jongin is pleased to note it distracts from his cheekbones. “aren’t you a sweetheart?”
“she was early weaned,” jongin says. “her mom was my favorite. but she had sehun really late.”
“not usually race horses,” chen says. “the ones with the tough births.”
“sehun is definitely good enough to be a winner,” jongin says. “with the right jockey.”
chen does that annoying thing, with his eyebrows, and jongin has no idea why his gut is telling him that chen is that right jockey. “your dad is really okay with you picking any jockey you want?”
“she’s my horse,” jongin says. “he was going to sell her off. i convinced him otherwise.”
“do you have a thing for underdogs, by any chance, kim jongin?” chen shakes his head. “because the odds are against me and your horse, both.”
“maybe i do,” jongin says. “not that it’s any of your business.” he brings both hands up to his hair and ruffles it in frustration. “are you going to take the job or not.”
chen is still petting sehun, who happily leans into his touch. chanyeol is watching the whole conversation like it’s a thursday night drama, and jongin is sadly noticing how much of chen’s collarbone is peeking out of the neck of his t-shirt.
“alrighty then,” chen says. “i’ll ride your little show pony.” sehun snorts angrily, getting snot all over chen’s hand, and he laughs, wiping it back on her before patting her soothingly. “i mean, your big, bad race horse.” he chews at his gum again, making a massive bubble. jongin can’t resist sticking his index finger out and popping it right on chen’s face.
“glad we have a deal,” jongin says, as chen pulls the gum out of his hair and off his cheeks. he doesn’t even look mad though, which pisses jongin off.
“i’m free starting next week, baby,” chen says. “call me. we’ll make a date for me to ride your tiny pony.” he wriggles his eyebrows lasciviously, and jongin gets the distinct feeling that chen is trying to imply... something?
“i’m going to punch you,” jongin says. “i’m your boss. don’t you dare talk about my tiny horse.”
“no one has ever said that to me about my horse,” chanyeol says, and jongin should punch him too.
chen cackles the whole way out. His (nice, slim, curved????) hips sway as he saunters, that fucker, out of the stable.
“he’s going to drive you nuts,” chanyeol says. “you know that, right?”
“what’s one more person on my shit list,” jongin says. “he’ll be a good jockey for sehun.”
“how do you know?” chanyeol says.
“i just have a feeling,” jongin says, “that he knows what it’s like to want to win even if no one believes in you.”
“two wrongs don’t necessarily make a right,” chanyeol warns, and jongin caves to sehun’s nudging and gives her another damn sugar cube.
♘
chen gets along famously with sehun. jongin is pretty sure the number one reason chen keeps feeding sehun is because chen the biggest jockey on the circuit, which pretty much means he comes to jongin’s waist. well, he doesn’t actually, but jongin wishes chen’s personality wasn’t so big that jongin feels like he’s the small one. chen has a way of making jongin feel really stupid with just the tilt of his eyebrows. chanyeol finds this hilarious.
“i’ve never seen you so easily riled up,” chanyeol says. “i had to slowly wear you down before you started glaring at me like that.”
chen is riding sehun around the track, practicing turns. the mix of a small horse and a big rider is going to throw off the weight distribution, so chen is teaching sehun how to compensate for it without losing speed.
“i have a natural distrust of the vertically challenged.” they’re always trying to compensate for something. like napoleon.
“is that why you won’t look baekhyun in the eyes?” baekhyun, chanyeol’s longtime friend, is a loud-mouthed ranch-hand on the property next to jongin’s family’s.
“no,” jongin says slowly. “it’s because every time i see him, he fondles my ass.” chen is smiling broadly, his usual smirk replaced with an actual smile. he flips jongin off as he rides by, sehun snorting along in amusement, and chanyeol cackles.
jongin swears to himself as he tucks both thumbs in the belt loops to his jeans. he should be more angry, but he’s distracted by chen’s really tight pants as he bends over the saddle to whisper in sehun’s ear.
“baekhyun’s just being friendly.” chanyeol laughs and finger-combs the mane of a jet black mare named black pearl, whose jockey is checking his boots over by the locker room. “that’s how he shows he cares. sometimes he forgets people aren’t bulls.”
“he should care less about me, then.”
“i think you need more people to care about you,” chanyeol says. he looks two seconds from ruffling jongin’s hair and calling him kiddo or something, which is a horrible thought, and if chanyeol tries it jongin is going to kick him in the balls.
“i have plenty of people who care about me. sehun cares about me.”
“you’re talking about your horse, aren’t you?” chanyeol shakes his head. “not even the person, but the horse.”
“shut your face, park.”
“man, that boarding school shit has gotten you all fucked up.” chanyeol stands up straight and tips his hat down to cover his face. (he’s scared of freckling, he confessed to jongin once, when they were both knock-down drag out drunk the night jongin got back from college for good.) “no man is a lone ranger. not even if they have a trusty steed.”
“you might not have a trusty steed,” chen pipes up from behind them, having finished the workout and lead sehun off the track. sehun looks bored, as usual, even though she’s winded, and she immediately bends down and begins nibbling on jongin’s wide-legged capris.
“sehun, stop,” jongin huffs, trying to push her away gently, but she digs her teeth in and he gives up.
“she’s trying to do the world a favor and get rid of those... ‘pants’.”
“what’s wrong with them?”
“what isn’t,” chen says, and chanyeol makes an uncomfortable noise in the back of his throat.
“you haven’t seen the sandals yet,” he stage whispers, which in chanyeol-speak, is more like a bellow.
“wow, they must be terrible if gumby over here thinks they’re bad.” chen gives chanyeol a once over. “but he is wearing nice designer jeans so maybe his taste isn’t as suspect as yours.”
“i am very fashionable,” jongin says. “dandy fashion is very in where i went to school--”
sehun continues to chew on jongin’s pants as chanyeol looks directly at chen and says “fucked up boarding school shit, man.”
“all boys?” chen asks, and chanyeol nods sadly.
“rich boys,” he answers, and chen gives jongin a sad, sad look, like maybe it isn’t his fault after all.
jongin resents that.
“good girl, sehun,” chen says, petting her neck. then slides down with practiced ease out of the saddle. they look good together, jongin thinks, chen’s dark hair against sehun’s bay coat.
“stop brainwashing my horse.” jongin crosses his arms petulantly.
“no, see, your horse has always been an asshole i’m just giving her an outlet.”
“why, i oughta... are you insulting my horse?”
“no, i’m giving her a compliment. she’s a first rate asshole.” he pats her flank. “i’ve always gotten along with assholes best.”
“why is that?” jongin asks. “because they give you an outlet?”
“don’t get feisty with me, kim jongin. you’ll lose.” chen twines his fingers in the reins, turning to lead sehun back toward the stable. jongin has half a mind to take the reins and do it himself, so chen can go dunk in cold water or whatever, but then chen stops, and looks at jongin over his shoulder. “it’s because...” he hesitates, and jongin leans forward in spite of himself. “it’s because you know what to expect, from assholes. it’s the nice ones that you have to watch out for. they’re too easy to let in.”
“oh,” jongin says, and chen laughs at his dumbfounded face as he leads sehun away. jongin is not enjoying the view, thank you very much. “hey! kim jongdae!”
“what?” chen calls back.
“am i an asshole?”
“i don’t know yet,” chen replies, and jongin scowls as his horse and his jockey walk away.
♘
“i see that you’ve picked the worst possible jockey for the worst possible horse,” jongin’s father says, as jongin leads him out toward the track.
“i think they’re a good match,” jongin replies, careful not to raise his voice.
“that’s what i meant,” he says. “at least you’re not wasting a good jockey on that miniature pony. two failures racing together.”
“i meant that they are both extremely underestimated.” jongin says it firmly. chen and sehun are together by the edge of the track, out of earshot. “chen is really good with her. i know his record has been bad lately, but he’s amazing on the--”
“i know you were fond of the mother,” jongin’s father says, “but can’t you give this up?”
“why should i? they’re not racing under your name. it’s not hurting your reputation. no one expects anything out of me anyway.” jongin had been sent away to a fancy, expensive school after his father remarried, and no one expects jongin to still know his way around a race horse anymore.
“why won’t you listen to reason? i have a job waiting for you at the company, son.” his father sighs. “horse racing is a family hobby. it’s not serious. we hire people to run our stables. we don’t do it ourselves.”
“you told me if i could choose horse that wins races, you’d let me take over out here. i have two sisters who are perfectly capable of running the company.” all three of the kim children have expensive business degrees. jongin just wants to use his for something different. “you told me if i won races, you’d let me take over out here,” he says again, more urgently. jongin can’t imagine putting on a suit every day and going in to his father’s offices, where the front door is guarded by police officers and jongin has to talk to businessy-type people instead of ranchers and jockeys and animals that can’t talk back.
“that was when you were six, jongin, and i couldn’t get you to come in from the paddock, after your mother passed. it’s time for you to grow up now.” jongin’s mother had loved the horses. jongin had felt closer to her, out with them. he still does.
“you also told me a good businessman makes a point never to go back on his word.” his father looks unconvinced and jongin tries again. “let me do this, dad. if sehun wins by the end of the season, let me have the stables. if she doesn’t, i’ll take the job at the company.”
“you’re not going to win that jockey,” jongin’s father says, as they along the edge of the track. “i could let you borrow one of mine, a real winner like junmyeon, maybe.”
chen and sehun trot by, and out of the corner of his eye, jongin notices how well they move together. “with all do respect, dad, i think chen and sehun are real winners.”
later, as jongin helps chen rub down sehun after the workout, chen looks like he has something to say. he is rocking from foot to foot, his thin hands holding on to the brush too tightly. jongin shivers every time chen’s forearm brushes his own.
after five minutes of bumping shoulders (well, really it’s just chen’s shoulder bumping into jongin’s ribs), jongin snaps, “if you got something to say, spit it out.”
“kim junmyeon’s won a lot of races,” chen says, voice low and less cocky than usual. “you’d probably be better off with him.” the muscles in his back are tight as he speaks, and the last of the day filtering through the stable windows highlights the downcast cut of his eyes. his lashes are dark against his pale sweaty cheeks, and his hair is curling on his neck.
jongin suddenly misses chen’s self-satisfied smirk. at least when chen does that, jongin has something to distract him from how handsome the other man is, with his nice skin and nice hair and nice everything.
“i don’t want kim junmyeon,” he says. “he’s too friendly.”
chen smiles to himself. “he probably wouldn’t insult your clothes or brainwash your horse, though.” jongin, usually, does not actually think chen looks small, but he looks small now. jongin doesn’t like it.
“he’s a notorious goody-two-shoes, and i’m an asshole. an asshole, with his asshole horse, deserves an asshole jockey.”
“you know,” chen says, setting down sehun’s brush on a stool, “i think i’ve made up my mind, and you’re one of the nice ones. sorry.”
“does that mean you need to watch out for me?” chen smells like sweat and horse, and jongin shouldn’t find it nearly as attractive as he does. and yet, chen is smiling at him mysteriously, corners of his mouth curled up, and jongin wonders what the shape would feel like against his own.
“absolutely,” chen says, with that sarcastic lilt he has whenever he’s about to insult jongin. “what if your ‘dandy fashion’ is catching?”
jongin scowls, pushing the thoughts about chen’s lips away. “you wish it was,” he says, setting down his own brush and reaching out to pet the velvet of sehun’s nose.
he jumps when chen ends up right behind him, using two fingers to pluck at the shoulder of his jacket, a heavy canvas thing with a watercolor picture of a horse on the front. “trust me, i really don’t,” chen says next to his ear, and jongin’s heart rate skyrockets--but by the time he manages to turn around, chen has already stepped away, down the stable corridor.
♘
chen’s been with them for a month and a half when chanyeol and baekhyun decide to throw a party, because neither of them have grown past age sixteen, and jongin goes, despite the threat of unsolicited butt fondling. chanyeol and baekhyun have always thrown good parties, even if they have nasty taste in beer, and jongin knows chanyeol will pout for at least a week if he doesn’t go, so he puts on his favorite party shoes and heads to a house on the property over, where baekhyun lives.
the minute jongin walks through the door, chanyeol stops midsentence, and says, sounding devastated, “oh god, it’s the shoes.”
“wow,” chen drawls from where he’s sitting, perched on the edge of baekhyun’s chair, “those sandals really are dandy.”
the way he says ‘dandy’ sounds like an epithet, and jongin scowls as minseok, the guy jongin nicknamed ‘sexy ranch hand’ back when he used to only visit for holidays, shoves a red solo cup into his hand. chen is leaning into baekhyun’s personal space as they laugh together over something, and baekhyun’s hand is casually resting on chen’s knee. jongin doesn’t like that at all.
jongin, not wanting to look at how comfortable baekhyun and chen are with each other, decides to focus on minseok’s very tight jeans. they look nice, but for some reason, the sight doesn’t thrill him as much as it used to. chen, he thinks, looks even better in a pair of riding pants, thighs clenched...
“stop staring at minseok’s ass,” chanyeol says, when minsoek disappears into the kitchen.
“i’m not!” jongin yelps, caught red-handed. “well, i was, but then i wasn’t, i swear!”
“don’t lie. we all remember that you used to call him the ‘sexy ranch hand’ on your holiday visits back here.”
jongin sneaks a glace at chen, who he’s surprised to see is frowning. maybe chen doesn’t like that jongin is gay. it’s not like it had come up in conversation before. he finds it hurts that chen might care about that. he notices that baekhyun’s hand isn’t on chen’s knee anymore.
“whatever, i’m going out on the balcony, where no one will make fun of me,” jongin says, anxious to get away from that small frown, turning on his heel.
“there’s no one out there, jongin!” chanyeol calls after him.
“exactly.” the door to the balcony is open already, and jongin can see his own family’s land from here. he leans on the railing, back to the door, but he can hear footsteps following him outside.
chen stops a ways away down the balcony, tapping his fingers on the wood rail absently. the space between them feels larger than it is, and the silence stretches out.
“does it bother you?” jongin asks finally, eyes fixed on the road leading up to the house and not on chen.
chen snorts, and jongin looks up startled. “i’m just trying not to catch the dandy fashion virus,” chen says. “it’s worse than i thought.”
“that’s not what i--”
“don’t be stupid,” chen snaps, in a way that jongin finds oddly pleasant, and he lets himself relax. “my opinion of you has changed tonight for the worse, but only because i thought even you couldn’t sink as low as those horrible things.” he points vaguely at jongin’s shoes, seemingly unwilling to look at them.
jongin takes in chen’s outfit. skintight jeans that cling to his calves, and a plain gray v-neck t-shirt, and can’t find a single thing to criticize.
“sehun’s first race is in a week,” jongin says, changing the subject, and chen smiles instead of smirks, and it makes jongin’s chest feel tight.
“she’s a good little horse,” chen says fondly, “and a better racer than anyone gives her credit for. you have a good eye. for horses, i mean.”
“i have excellent taste in everything.”
“i wouldn’t go that far.” chen laughs. “but sehun is a surprisingly good race horse. she doesn’t look it, but she’s fast. she uses her size to her advantage.”
“her mother was a good horse, too. stubborn as hell, but she liked me. i don’t know why.”
“i could probably guess,” chen says, and then he colors. “i mean, horses can tell when you’re fond of them. they know people.”
“that’s why i like horses.” jongin scratches at his hair. “i’m not so good with people, since i have to... well, talk to them.” he shrugs. “plus, horses don’t expect you to be anything but yourself.”
sehun will never ever expect jongin to put on a suit and play nice at meetings. she’d probably rather eat his suit.
“expectations in general really suck,” chen replies. the moonlight catches on those really fucking nice cheek bones and jongin’s breath catches in his throat.
“yeah,” he says, “they do,” and chen looks at him and grins.
oh shit, jongin thinks, as he smiles lopsidedly back.
♘
“you left early last night,” chanyeol says. “any reason?”
“felt sick,” jongin says. love sick his brain taunts him, and jongin tell his brain to shut up because he has enough real life people to tease him mercilessly. he doesn’t have to do it to himself.
“so chen made out with baekhyun last night.”
jongin drops the harness he’s holding halfway to sehun’s stall, and then starts cursing as the metal bits hit his shins and toes. “what?!”
“just kidding,” chanyeol says. “should of seen your face.” chanyeol adjusts his stetson and smiles hugely. “guess you were--”
“don’t say it--”
“love sick.”
goddamnit, chanyeol’s in jongin’s head now. that’s great.
“you will say nothing of this to anyone,” jongin threatens, because intimidating. chanyeol laughs at him. “or else.”
“or else what?” he walks over to jongin and picks up the harness. “you can’t fire me, i work for your dad.”
“i can maim you,” jongin replies.
“whatever you do, don’t touch the hat,” cries a voice from behind them both, pitched high like a southern bar wench.
they both spin toward the source, and jongin turns red all the way to the tips of his ears with embarrassment. “you like the hat?”
“of course he does,” chanyeol says. “everyone likes the hat.”
“i like most things that make other people more embarrassing,” chen agrees. “you look like buffalo bill in that stetson.”
“we should work on starts today,” jongin says quickly, before they can get into a quarrel. “we have a race next week.”
chanyeol is still puffing, but jongin can tell it’s just for show. he thinks chen is funny.
“yeah,” chen says. “we should. i already planned on that.”
“good, then,” jongin says. suddenly the silence in the stable seems awkward? jongin shifts his weight from foot to foot and winces at the twinge in his shin. it’s going to bruise. “damnit.”
in the weird quiet, chanyeol coughs. ”i’m going to go... um. start a fire.”
“what?” chen says, as chanyeol backs away, waving his hands disarmingly as jongin and chen stare at him.
“you know,” chanyeol says, making sure to catch jongin’s eye and wink exaggeratedly, “gotta keep warm on these frigid early summer mornings.”
“we’re in california,” jongin says, as chen shakes his head bemusedly and moves toward sehun.
“he’s even weirder than you are,” chen informs jongin as he picks up the discarded bridle and scoots the stepstool over closer with the outside edge of his foot. he steps up on the stool and wobbles, so jongin, without thinking, moves closer and reaches out both hands to steady him, grasping on to chen’s hips.
“don’t break yourself,” jongin says. “it’s too late to find another jockey.”
“i’m sure you could still manage to steal kim junmyeon,” chen says. “his cheerful smiles would brighten up these last practices--”
jongin considers letting chen fall, after all. but then he notices how nicely chen’s hips fit in his palms. also, for some reason, chen seems tense, his muscles bunching up around his shoulder blades as jongin steps closer still and set his chin on chen’s shoulder. “don’t think sehun would get along with junmyeon very well.”
“junmyeon gets along with everyone,” chen says quickly. he sounds strained.
“i don’t think i would get along with junmyeon very well, then.”
“you don’t even get along with me,” chen says, and he’s stroking the leather of the harness with an anxious thumb as his other hand undoes the buckles.
“sure i do,” jongin replies. “this is the best i can do, with people. i don’t get very close to them.”
“you’re awfully close to me right now,” chen says, and jongin is, wow, yeah, closer than he’d realized, and so he steps back, taking a huge gulp of air when his hands leave chen’s waist.
“sorry,” jongin mutters. “just didn’t want you to fall.” he looks at the ground, focusing on the strange patterns formed by dust and dirt and hay around his boots.
“i won’t,” chen says, strangled, and jongin looks up. “don’t be so nice.” chen slides the harness into place. “it’s confusing. i like you better grumpy.”
sehun is staring at them both balefully, chewing on something (did chen sneak her more sugar while jongin wasn’t looking?) and jongin is sure she’s judging him. ‘shut up’ he mouths at her, and if horses could grin smugly jongin is pretty sure she would.
“fine,” jongin says. “have fun getting sehun into the gate.” sehun snorts, loudly. she’s never understood the point of them. “she’d probably rather take a nap.”
“she has a lot of sass, your little pony.”
jongin, who has already started moving to the door that leads out to the track, looks back at chen and smiles. “her mom did too,” jongin says. “she was my favorite.”
“you’ll have to tell me about her, sometime.”
jongin waves in acceptance and hurries out to the track, where chanyeol is definitely not starting fires, busily preparing the gates instead. a few of his dad’s horses are being run this morning, too. there’d been a notice about training times up on the stable door.
“did you have a fun talk?” chanyeol asks when jongin gets over to him.
“‘start a fire’? really?”
“i hate to break it to you, jongin, but no matter what excuse i gave, nothing was going to make that moment less awkward.” chanyeol laughs so loud his hat falls off, and jongin picks it up and puts it on his own head. “did you guys make out.”
“be quiet, park, or i might accidentally toss this hat in the middle of the tracks while the horses or running.”
“that’s a low blow, kim jongin,” chanyeol says. “don’t worry, i won’t tell chen about your massive boner.”
jongin relaxes. “thanks.”
but then he says, “it’s obvious enough without me saying anything, anyway,” and giggles merrily, and jongin kind of sort of wants to throw himself on the track instead.
♘
the night before the first big race, they stay late at the stable. neither jongin or chen want to leave sehun alone the night before her big race.
“you should get some sleep,” jongin says to chen. “after all, all i have to do tomorrow is watch.”
“i’ll stay just a while longer,” chen says. “i’m too nervous to sleep.” he catches himself. “i mean, i’m not nervous, or anything. i just had coffee after lunch, and that feels, kind of, like nervousness. not that i know what nervousness feels like. because i’ve never been nervous. in my life.”
“it’s okay to be nervous.”
“i’m not, though.”
“i am,” jongin admits. he reaches across to chen’s lap where chen is holding a small cloth filled with apple slices, and picks one up to feed to sehun. chen jumps when jongin’s fingers skim the inside of his knee, and jongin fights down a blush.
“what do you have to be nervous about?” chen asks. “it’s been a long time since i’ve won something, you know. my career is...” he wrinkles his nose. “if we lose tomorrow, what do you lose?”
jongin sinks his fingers into sehun’s mane. “if i lose, i get stuck behind a desk for the rest of my life.”
“wow, that sucks. what do you get if we win?”
“i get to stay here,” jongin says, “with the horses and run the barn.” jongin gulps. “losing means a corporate job with my dad’s company and spending every day feeling socially inept. yay.”
chen looks surprised, as though he hadn’t known jongin had so much on the line. his eyes glimmer in even the dim overhead lights in the stable, and jongin’s heart pulses extra fast. “high stakes for you, then. if we lose, i’ll probably never get hired on the circuit again. have to start doing claim races or something.”
“i’d hire you,” jongin says, “because even if i lose, i’m still going to race horses. i just won’t be a part of it, like this.” the past few months have been amazing for jongin. with chanyeol and the horses and the jockeys. with chen. he’s more sure than ever that this isn’t a hobby for him. he’d like to do this forever.
“you’d still hire me? even if we lose?” he doesn’t sound like he believes jongin. jongin is tempted to reach out and cup his hand around chen’s neck and kiss him until he does believe it, but...
instead, he looks away. “sehun would miss you, i think.” i would miss you. “plus, you’re an asshole, but you’re also a good jockey, whatever your track record.”
“my track record is kind of important, idiot,” chen says, sounding almost fond. “since my job is, you know, on a track.”
“whatever.” jongin stretches, and he thinks chen might be watching him out of the corner of his eye. “it’s probably not even worth going to bed now. i have to be up early to pick up sehun from the airport. the real sehun, i mean.” reaching over to grab another piece of apple, this time for himself, jongin looks over at sehun the horse and says, “she looks ready for tomorrow.”
chen squints. “i think she might be asleep?”
jongin’s always thought it was unnerving the way horses could sleep standing up, but he laughs. “she really looks like sehun now. you’ll see what i mean tomorrow.”
“we’ll see a lot of things tomorrow,” chen says, thoughtfully munching on his own slice of apple. “hopefully one of those things will be a trophy.” he stands, holding the last slice of apple up to jongin’s lips. jongin bites into it, lips brushing chen’s fingers, which has chen pulling back like he’s been burned. he licks his lips, and his eyes search jongin’s. for a second, jongin thinks he sees an interest that mirrors his own, but then it disappears like it had never been. “good night, kim jongin.”
he watches chen’s mouth. his own mouth goes dry. he wants... “good night, chen,” he answers, and watches him leave, filled with longing that snuggles up next to his anxiousness for tomorrow’s race like an old bedfellow.
sehun, who, it turns out, is not quite asleep, starts chewing on his hair. “you think i’m pathetic, don’t you, sehun, girl?”
sehun whinnies, quietly, and nuzzles at him comfortingly, and jongin hands her the half slice of apple, sighing as he settles down to wait for morning.
yeehaw
rate: pwp (plot with ponies) (porn without ponies)
k-i-s-s-i-n-g: kai/chen (doublejong doublesexxxy)
this is about: jongin hires reckless jockey chen to ride his little pony.
counting the words: 12k
doodles: this fic is about horses because horse_exobooks is horses.
e_________________________________e
♘
chen has a swagger. it’s the first thing kim jongin notices as he watches the jockey strut off the track like he owns it, even though he’s just lost spectacularly. like, last-place-by-a-mile, the-other-horses-are-already-back-at-the-barn-in-a-different-state-and-even-florida’s-votes-have-been-counted-from-last-month’s-election last. “that’s the one,” says jongin to chanyeol, who shakes his head and looks very much like he would like a finger or two of whiskey. “he’s our man.”
“he’s not my man,” chanyeol says. “he’s your man. all yours. good luck.”
“i thought you were going to help me with this, chanyeol.”
“i was.” chanyeol scratches at his head before putting his white stetson back on. “until you decided you wanted to hire the most reckless jockey on the circut for your polly pocket pony.”
“sehun is not a children’s toy, chanyeol. she’s a race horse. a great one.”
“you can’t start saying that until she’s won something.” chanyeol, who has his hands in his worn out denim pockets, grins too big for his face, mockingly, and jongin strategically doesn’t punch him in the face. “which, in my humble opinion, is going to be a lot harder with mr. mouthy over there.”
“nothing about you is humble, chanyeol.” he surveys chanyeol’s designer belt with its oversized buckle and grimaces.
“especially not my--” jongin kicks at him, but misses, sending a cloud of dirt threateningly at chanyeol’s shins, and chanyeol laughs but jongin knows on the inside he’s cowering. because jongin is very intimidating. yeah.
“why are you guys still here?” jongin looks up to see the subject of their conversation leaning over the railing, cap tucked under his arm and face sticking with sweat and trackdust from the race. “aren’t you kim jongin? your daddy and his horses are long gone.”
“i’m not here for my dad,” jongin replies, bristling. he steps closer to the railing, and chen is small, so small, when jongin gets closer. “i’m here for you.”
chen raises one eyebrow curiously. “little old me? whatever for, rich boy?”
“you’re not that little, for a jockey,” chanyeol says. “actually you’re kind of big. too big.”
“too big for what?” asks chen, both eyebrows now raised. there’s a smear of mud right across the chest of his silks, and jongin thinks it’s from the nasty slide he and the horse he’d been riding, run-n-gun, took in the second lap.
“well,” says jongin, “you’re a jockey. what else could i need from you? i want you to ride a horse.”
“what kind of horse?” chen’s lips curl downward like an angry kitty, and jongin feels the urge to move back before he remembers that he’s super intimidating and moves forward instead. he thinks he hears chanyeol snickering.
“a very tiny horse,” chanyeol says, and jongin clears his throat.
“a race horse,” jongin says. “my race horse.”
“oooh,” chen says. “i’m interested. your daddy’s not going to like that. he never hires me.”
“it’s not daddy’s decision,” is jongin’s reply. “it’s mine. i want you.”
“this is a mistake,” chanyeol mutters, just loud enough for jongin to hear.
chen has his head cocked to the side, amused, and he looks even more like a farm cat like that, perched on the railing and feigning like he’s too good for jongin. he’s not. jongin knows the rumors and knows this was chen’s seventh consecutive loss. he needs a win or his career’s over, and no one else is willing to hire him. and hell, jongin has always been a big fan of taking chances.
“and what makes you think i want to ride your tiny horse?” it comes out like an innuendo, and jongin flushes from the tips of his ears to his toes.
“just come meet her,” jongin says. “if you don’t like her, you can walk away, no harm done.” he straightens his back. “but you’ll like her. she is an excellent horse.”
“has a face just like the guy you named her after, too,” chanyeol says, and chen laughs for the first time. it changes his whole face. jongin definitely does not notice his superior bone structure.
“all right, let’s meet the lady, then,” chen says. “i’ll drop by your stable tomorrow.”
♘
chen, or kim jongdae, depending on whether you know him on the circuit or off, is a fucking menace. he’s chewing his massive wad of gum like he’s a horse himself, blowing ginormous obnoxious bubbles the size of his face as he walks jauntily into the racing stable.
“i see you found the place,” says jongin.
“i’ve been here before,” chen replies. and oooh, there’s another bubble and jongin fantasizes about watching the bubble explode and seeing it stuck all over chen’s stupid smug face.
“i thought my father never hired you.”
“that doesn’t mean i’ve never been here.” jongin thinks someone as small as chen should have a greater sense of self-preservation. jongin is twice his size and could totally break him in half if he wanted to. “let’s meet the little lady.”
“she doesn’t like to be called small,” jongin says. this whole chen thing is a complete mistake. for once in his life chanyeol was right and-- “she makes this horrible noise...”
“reminds me of myself in high school,” chen says. “now i’m relieved.” he’s still smirking, and he wipes his hands on his jeans as he looks up at jongin. there’s not a lot of light in the stables, but there’s enough to catch chen’s eyes. “i’ll watch my words with your horse."
“she’s... right this way.” jongin turns away from chen and his entire pack of bubblicious and his disgusting gnawing and smirking, and looks down at the long rows of stalls. this is jongin’s dad’s racing stable. jongin remembers when he was only 3 feet high and the stall doors seemed unapproachable. now he’s ridden every horse in here at least once.
chanyeol is standing by sehun’s stall, one hand along her nose and the other resting easy on the door. he’s still wearing his hat. chen is amused. jongin can see it in the way his grin gets even more shiteating.
either that, or the way he starts whistling the lone ranger theme song, gum shoved into one cheek.
“sehun knows something’s up today,” chanyeol says. “she’s been through three buckets of oats this morning.”
“woah,” chen says.
“she’s an emotional eater,” jongin says defensively. “she just gets stressed out sometimes.”
“okay, sure,” chen says. “so chanyeol here talks to the horse and you treat it like a girl who’s gotten dumped on valentine’s day.”
“sehun’s a very special horse.” sehun chooses that moment to take a bite of jongin’s hair, and chen almost spits out his gum.
“emotionally eating you,” chen says. “she’s probably getting revenge for naming her sehun. what kind of name is that for a race horse.”
“well, what kind of name is chen for a jockey?” jongin replies after a pause, feeling unnecessarily put out by chen’s general air of superiority.
“it’s not sehun’s fault she looks like jongin’s friend in the face,” chanyeol pipes in, clearly having decided that since jongin has chosen chen as his jockey, he might as well help them get along by playing interference. chanyeol does that a lot. because jongin has the social skills of your average platypus.
chen steps closer, standing up on his toes so he can get a better look. “i could open the door for you?” jongin offers. “or get you a stepstool.”
“shut up, beefcake, i’m bonding.” chen runs his hand right up between sehun’s eyes, and she gives a pleased little whinny before licking out with her tongue. “you want sugar, do you?”
“don’t give her that,” jongin says, and chen gives him a look
“three pails of oats.” chen’s deadpan response belies his affectionate combing of sehun’s forelock. he produces a cube of sugar from nowhere, basically, and proceeds to ignore jongin’s dissatisfied hmmphs and chanyeol’s deep chuckles. his cheek is still bloated with an entire pack of gum and jongin is pleased to note it distracts from his cheekbones. “aren’t you a sweetheart?”
“she was early weaned,” jongin says. “her mom was my favorite. but she had sehun really late.”
“not usually race horses,” chen says. “the ones with the tough births.”
“sehun is definitely good enough to be a winner,” jongin says. “with the right jockey.”
chen does that annoying thing, with his eyebrows, and jongin has no idea why his gut is telling him that chen is that right jockey. “your dad is really okay with you picking any jockey you want?”
“she’s my horse,” jongin says. “he was going to sell her off. i convinced him otherwise.”
“do you have a thing for underdogs, by any chance, kim jongin?” chen shakes his head. “because the odds are against me and your horse, both.”
“maybe i do,” jongin says. “not that it’s any of your business.” he brings both hands up to his hair and ruffles it in frustration. “are you going to take the job or not.”
chen is still petting sehun, who happily leans into his touch. chanyeol is watching the whole conversation like it’s a thursday night drama, and jongin is sadly noticing how much of chen’s collarbone is peeking out of the neck of his t-shirt.
“alrighty then,” chen says. “i’ll ride your little show pony.” sehun snorts angrily, getting snot all over chen’s hand, and he laughs, wiping it back on her before patting her soothingly. “i mean, your big, bad race horse.” he chews at his gum again, making a massive bubble. jongin can’t resist sticking his index finger out and popping it right on chen’s face.
“glad we have a deal,” jongin says, as chen pulls the gum out of his hair and off his cheeks. he doesn’t even look mad though, which pisses jongin off.
“i’m free starting next week, baby,” chen says. “call me. we’ll make a date for me to ride your tiny pony.” he wriggles his eyebrows lasciviously, and jongin gets the distinct feeling that chen is trying to imply... something?
“i’m going to punch you,” jongin says. “i’m your boss. don’t you dare talk about my tiny horse.”
“no one has ever said that to me about my horse,” chanyeol says, and jongin should punch him too.
chen cackles the whole way out. His (nice, slim, curved????) hips sway as he saunters, that fucker, out of the stable.
“he’s going to drive you nuts,” chanyeol says. “you know that, right?”
“what’s one more person on my shit list,” jongin says. “he’ll be a good jockey for sehun.”
“how do you know?” chanyeol says.
“i just have a feeling,” jongin says, “that he knows what it’s like to want to win even if no one believes in you.”
“two wrongs don’t necessarily make a right,” chanyeol warns, and jongin caves to sehun’s nudging and gives her another damn sugar cube.
♘
chen gets along famously with sehun. jongin is pretty sure the number one reason chen keeps feeding sehun is because chen the biggest jockey on the circuit, which pretty much means he comes to jongin’s waist. well, he doesn’t actually, but jongin wishes chen’s personality wasn’t so big that jongin feels like he’s the small one. chen has a way of making jongin feel really stupid with just the tilt of his eyebrows. chanyeol finds this hilarious.
“i’ve never seen you so easily riled up,” chanyeol says. “i had to slowly wear you down before you started glaring at me like that.”
chen is riding sehun around the track, practicing turns. the mix of a small horse and a big rider is going to throw off the weight distribution, so chen is teaching sehun how to compensate for it without losing speed.
“i have a natural distrust of the vertically challenged.” they’re always trying to compensate for something. like napoleon.
“is that why you won’t look baekhyun in the eyes?” baekhyun, chanyeol’s longtime friend, is a loud-mouthed ranch-hand on the property next to jongin’s family’s.
“no,” jongin says slowly. “it’s because every time i see him, he fondles my ass.” chen is smiling broadly, his usual smirk replaced with an actual smile. he flips jongin off as he rides by, sehun snorting along in amusement, and chanyeol cackles.
jongin swears to himself as he tucks both thumbs in the belt loops to his jeans. he should be more angry, but he’s distracted by chen’s really tight pants as he bends over the saddle to whisper in sehun’s ear.
“baekhyun’s just being friendly.” chanyeol laughs and finger-combs the mane of a jet black mare named black pearl, whose jockey is checking his boots over by the locker room. “that’s how he shows he cares. sometimes he forgets people aren’t bulls.”
“he should care less about me, then.”
“i think you need more people to care about you,” chanyeol says. he looks two seconds from ruffling jongin’s hair and calling him kiddo or something, which is a horrible thought, and if chanyeol tries it jongin is going to kick him in the balls.
“i have plenty of people who care about me. sehun cares about me.”
“you’re talking about your horse, aren’t you?” chanyeol shakes his head. “not even the person, but the horse.”
“shut your face, park.”
“man, that boarding school shit has gotten you all fucked up.” chanyeol stands up straight and tips his hat down to cover his face. (he’s scared of freckling, he confessed to jongin once, when they were both knock-down drag out drunk the night jongin got back from college for good.) “no man is a lone ranger. not even if they have a trusty steed.”
“you might not have a trusty steed,” chen pipes up from behind them, having finished the workout and lead sehun off the track. sehun looks bored, as usual, even though she’s winded, and she immediately bends down and begins nibbling on jongin’s wide-legged capris.
“sehun, stop,” jongin huffs, trying to push her away gently, but she digs her teeth in and he gives up.
“she’s trying to do the world a favor and get rid of those... ‘pants’.”
“what’s wrong with them?”
“what isn’t,” chen says, and chanyeol makes an uncomfortable noise in the back of his throat.
“you haven’t seen the sandals yet,” he stage whispers, which in chanyeol-speak, is more like a bellow.
“wow, they must be terrible if gumby over here thinks they’re bad.” chen gives chanyeol a once over. “but he is wearing nice designer jeans so maybe his taste isn’t as suspect as yours.”
“i am very fashionable,” jongin says. “dandy fashion is very in where i went to school--”
sehun continues to chew on jongin’s pants as chanyeol looks directly at chen and says “fucked up boarding school shit, man.”
“all boys?” chen asks, and chanyeol nods sadly.
“rich boys,” he answers, and chen gives jongin a sad, sad look, like maybe it isn’t his fault after all.
jongin resents that.
“good girl, sehun,” chen says, petting her neck. then slides down with practiced ease out of the saddle. they look good together, jongin thinks, chen’s dark hair against sehun’s bay coat.
“stop brainwashing my horse.” jongin crosses his arms petulantly.
“no, see, your horse has always been an asshole i’m just giving her an outlet.”
“why, i oughta... are you insulting my horse?”
“no, i’m giving her a compliment. she’s a first rate asshole.” he pats her flank. “i’ve always gotten along with assholes best.”
“why is that?” jongin asks. “because they give you an outlet?”
“don’t get feisty with me, kim jongin. you’ll lose.” chen twines his fingers in the reins, turning to lead sehun back toward the stable. jongin has half a mind to take the reins and do it himself, so chen can go dunk in cold water or whatever, but then chen stops, and looks at jongin over his shoulder. “it’s because...” he hesitates, and jongin leans forward in spite of himself. “it’s because you know what to expect, from assholes. it’s the nice ones that you have to watch out for. they’re too easy to let in.”
“oh,” jongin says, and chen laughs at his dumbfounded face as he leads sehun away. jongin is not enjoying the view, thank you very much. “hey! kim jongdae!”
“what?” chen calls back.
“am i an asshole?”
“i don’t know yet,” chen replies, and jongin scowls as his horse and his jockey walk away.
♘
“i see that you’ve picked the worst possible jockey for the worst possible horse,” jongin’s father says, as jongin leads him out toward the track.
“i think they’re a good match,” jongin replies, careful not to raise his voice.
“that’s what i meant,” he says. “at least you’re not wasting a good jockey on that miniature pony. two failures racing together.”
“i meant that they are both extremely underestimated.” jongin says it firmly. chen and sehun are together by the edge of the track, out of earshot. “chen is really good with her. i know his record has been bad lately, but he’s amazing on the--”
“i know you were fond of the mother,” jongin’s father says, “but can’t you give this up?”
“why should i? they’re not racing under your name. it’s not hurting your reputation. no one expects anything out of me anyway.” jongin had been sent away to a fancy, expensive school after his father remarried, and no one expects jongin to still know his way around a race horse anymore.
“why won’t you listen to reason? i have a job waiting for you at the company, son.” his father sighs. “horse racing is a family hobby. it’s not serious. we hire people to run our stables. we don’t do it ourselves.”
“you told me if i could choose horse that wins races, you’d let me take over out here. i have two sisters who are perfectly capable of running the company.” all three of the kim children have expensive business degrees. jongin just wants to use his for something different. “you told me if i won races, you’d let me take over out here,” he says again, more urgently. jongin can’t imagine putting on a suit every day and going in to his father’s offices, where the front door is guarded by police officers and jongin has to talk to businessy-type people instead of ranchers and jockeys and animals that can’t talk back.
“that was when you were six, jongin, and i couldn’t get you to come in from the paddock, after your mother passed. it’s time for you to grow up now.” jongin’s mother had loved the horses. jongin had felt closer to her, out with them. he still does.
“you also told me a good businessman makes a point never to go back on his word.” his father looks unconvinced and jongin tries again. “let me do this, dad. if sehun wins by the end of the season, let me have the stables. if she doesn’t, i’ll take the job at the company.”
“you’re not going to win that jockey,” jongin’s father says, as they along the edge of the track. “i could let you borrow one of mine, a real winner like junmyeon, maybe.”
chen and sehun trot by, and out of the corner of his eye, jongin notices how well they move together. “with all do respect, dad, i think chen and sehun are real winners.”
later, as jongin helps chen rub down sehun after the workout, chen looks like he has something to say. he is rocking from foot to foot, his thin hands holding on to the brush too tightly. jongin shivers every time chen’s forearm brushes his own.
after five minutes of bumping shoulders (well, really it’s just chen’s shoulder bumping into jongin’s ribs), jongin snaps, “if you got something to say, spit it out.”
“kim junmyeon’s won a lot of races,” chen says, voice low and less cocky than usual. “you’d probably be better off with him.” the muscles in his back are tight as he speaks, and the last of the day filtering through the stable windows highlights the downcast cut of his eyes. his lashes are dark against his pale sweaty cheeks, and his hair is curling on his neck.
jongin suddenly misses chen’s self-satisfied smirk. at least when chen does that, jongin has something to distract him from how handsome the other man is, with his nice skin and nice hair and nice everything.
“i don’t want kim junmyeon,” he says. “he’s too friendly.”
chen smiles to himself. “he probably wouldn’t insult your clothes or brainwash your horse, though.” jongin, usually, does not actually think chen looks small, but he looks small now. jongin doesn’t like it.
“he’s a notorious goody-two-shoes, and i’m an asshole. an asshole, with his asshole horse, deserves an asshole jockey.”
“you know,” chen says, setting down sehun’s brush on a stool, “i think i’ve made up my mind, and you’re one of the nice ones. sorry.”
“does that mean you need to watch out for me?” chen smells like sweat and horse, and jongin shouldn’t find it nearly as attractive as he does. and yet, chen is smiling at him mysteriously, corners of his mouth curled up, and jongin wonders what the shape would feel like against his own.
“absolutely,” chen says, with that sarcastic lilt he has whenever he’s about to insult jongin. “what if your ‘dandy fashion’ is catching?”
jongin scowls, pushing the thoughts about chen’s lips away. “you wish it was,” he says, setting down his own brush and reaching out to pet the velvet of sehun’s nose.
he jumps when chen ends up right behind him, using two fingers to pluck at the shoulder of his jacket, a heavy canvas thing with a watercolor picture of a horse on the front. “trust me, i really don’t,” chen says next to his ear, and jongin’s heart rate skyrockets--but by the time he manages to turn around, chen has already stepped away, down the stable corridor.
♘
chen’s been with them for a month and a half when chanyeol and baekhyun decide to throw a party, because neither of them have grown past age sixteen, and jongin goes, despite the threat of unsolicited butt fondling. chanyeol and baekhyun have always thrown good parties, even if they have nasty taste in beer, and jongin knows chanyeol will pout for at least a week if he doesn’t go, so he puts on his favorite party shoes and heads to a house on the property over, where baekhyun lives.
the minute jongin walks through the door, chanyeol stops midsentence, and says, sounding devastated, “oh god, it’s the shoes.”
“wow,” chen drawls from where he’s sitting, perched on the edge of baekhyun’s chair, “those sandals really are dandy.”
the way he says ‘dandy’ sounds like an epithet, and jongin scowls as minseok, the guy jongin nicknamed ‘sexy ranch hand’ back when he used to only visit for holidays, shoves a red solo cup into his hand. chen is leaning into baekhyun’s personal space as they laugh together over something, and baekhyun’s hand is casually resting on chen’s knee. jongin doesn’t like that at all.
jongin, not wanting to look at how comfortable baekhyun and chen are with each other, decides to focus on minseok’s very tight jeans. they look nice, but for some reason, the sight doesn’t thrill him as much as it used to. chen, he thinks, looks even better in a pair of riding pants, thighs clenched...
“stop staring at minseok’s ass,” chanyeol says, when minsoek disappears into the kitchen.
“i’m not!” jongin yelps, caught red-handed. “well, i was, but then i wasn’t, i swear!”
“don’t lie. we all remember that you used to call him the ‘sexy ranch hand’ on your holiday visits back here.”
jongin sneaks a glace at chen, who he’s surprised to see is frowning. maybe chen doesn’t like that jongin is gay. it’s not like it had come up in conversation before. he finds it hurts that chen might care about that. he notices that baekhyun’s hand isn’t on chen’s knee anymore.
“whatever, i’m going out on the balcony, where no one will make fun of me,” jongin says, anxious to get away from that small frown, turning on his heel.
“there’s no one out there, jongin!” chanyeol calls after him.
“exactly.” the door to the balcony is open already, and jongin can see his own family’s land from here. he leans on the railing, back to the door, but he can hear footsteps following him outside.
chen stops a ways away down the balcony, tapping his fingers on the wood rail absently. the space between them feels larger than it is, and the silence stretches out.
“does it bother you?” jongin asks finally, eyes fixed on the road leading up to the house and not on chen.
chen snorts, and jongin looks up startled. “i’m just trying not to catch the dandy fashion virus,” chen says. “it’s worse than i thought.”
“that’s not what i--”
“don’t be stupid,” chen snaps, in a way that jongin finds oddly pleasant, and he lets himself relax. “my opinion of you has changed tonight for the worse, but only because i thought even you couldn’t sink as low as those horrible things.” he points vaguely at jongin’s shoes, seemingly unwilling to look at them.
jongin takes in chen’s outfit. skintight jeans that cling to his calves, and a plain gray v-neck t-shirt, and can’t find a single thing to criticize.
“sehun’s first race is in a week,” jongin says, changing the subject, and chen smiles instead of smirks, and it makes jongin’s chest feel tight.
“she’s a good little horse,” chen says fondly, “and a better racer than anyone gives her credit for. you have a good eye. for horses, i mean.”
“i have excellent taste in everything.”
“i wouldn’t go that far.” chen laughs. “but sehun is a surprisingly good race horse. she doesn’t look it, but she’s fast. she uses her size to her advantage.”
“her mother was a good horse, too. stubborn as hell, but she liked me. i don’t know why.”
“i could probably guess,” chen says, and then he colors. “i mean, horses can tell when you’re fond of them. they know people.”
“that’s why i like horses.” jongin scratches at his hair. “i’m not so good with people, since i have to... well, talk to them.” he shrugs. “plus, horses don’t expect you to be anything but yourself.”
sehun will never ever expect jongin to put on a suit and play nice at meetings. she’d probably rather eat his suit.
“expectations in general really suck,” chen replies. the moonlight catches on those really fucking nice cheek bones and jongin’s breath catches in his throat.
“yeah,” he says, “they do,” and chen looks at him and grins.
oh shit, jongin thinks, as he smiles lopsidedly back.
♘
“you left early last night,” chanyeol says. “any reason?”
“felt sick,” jongin says. love sick his brain taunts him, and jongin tell his brain to shut up because he has enough real life people to tease him mercilessly. he doesn’t have to do it to himself.
“so chen made out with baekhyun last night.”
jongin drops the harness he’s holding halfway to sehun’s stall, and then starts cursing as the metal bits hit his shins and toes. “what?!”
“just kidding,” chanyeol says. “should of seen your face.” chanyeol adjusts his stetson and smiles hugely. “guess you were--”
“don’t say it--”
“love sick.”
goddamnit, chanyeol’s in jongin’s head now. that’s great.
“you will say nothing of this to anyone,” jongin threatens, because intimidating. chanyeol laughs at him. “or else.”
“or else what?” he walks over to jongin and picks up the harness. “you can’t fire me, i work for your dad.”
“i can maim you,” jongin replies.
“whatever you do, don’t touch the hat,” cries a voice from behind them both, pitched high like a southern bar wench.
they both spin toward the source, and jongin turns red all the way to the tips of his ears with embarrassment. “you like the hat?”
“of course he does,” chanyeol says. “everyone likes the hat.”
“i like most things that make other people more embarrassing,” chen agrees. “you look like buffalo bill in that stetson.”
“we should work on starts today,” jongin says quickly, before they can get into a quarrel. “we have a race next week.”
chanyeol is still puffing, but jongin can tell it’s just for show. he thinks chen is funny.
“yeah,” chen says. “we should. i already planned on that.”
“good, then,” jongin says. suddenly the silence in the stable seems awkward? jongin shifts his weight from foot to foot and winces at the twinge in his shin. it’s going to bruise. “damnit.”
in the weird quiet, chanyeol coughs. ”i’m going to go... um. start a fire.”
“what?” chen says, as chanyeol backs away, waving his hands disarmingly as jongin and chen stare at him.
“you know,” chanyeol says, making sure to catch jongin’s eye and wink exaggeratedly, “gotta keep warm on these frigid early summer mornings.”
“we’re in california,” jongin says, as chen shakes his head bemusedly and moves toward sehun.
“he’s even weirder than you are,” chen informs jongin as he picks up the discarded bridle and scoots the stepstool over closer with the outside edge of his foot. he steps up on the stool and wobbles, so jongin, without thinking, moves closer and reaches out both hands to steady him, grasping on to chen’s hips.
“don’t break yourself,” jongin says. “it’s too late to find another jockey.”
“i’m sure you could still manage to steal kim junmyeon,” chen says. “his cheerful smiles would brighten up these last practices--”
jongin considers letting chen fall, after all. but then he notices how nicely chen’s hips fit in his palms. also, for some reason, chen seems tense, his muscles bunching up around his shoulder blades as jongin steps closer still and set his chin on chen’s shoulder. “don’t think sehun would get along with junmyeon very well.”
“junmyeon gets along with everyone,” chen says quickly. he sounds strained.
“i don’t think i would get along with junmyeon very well, then.”
“you don’t even get along with me,” chen says, and he’s stroking the leather of the harness with an anxious thumb as his other hand undoes the buckles.
“sure i do,” jongin replies. “this is the best i can do, with people. i don’t get very close to them.”
“you’re awfully close to me right now,” chen says, and jongin is, wow, yeah, closer than he’d realized, and so he steps back, taking a huge gulp of air when his hands leave chen’s waist.
“sorry,” jongin mutters. “just didn’t want you to fall.” he looks at the ground, focusing on the strange patterns formed by dust and dirt and hay around his boots.
“i won’t,” chen says, strangled, and jongin looks up. “don’t be so nice.” chen slides the harness into place. “it’s confusing. i like you better grumpy.”
sehun is staring at them both balefully, chewing on something (did chen sneak her more sugar while jongin wasn’t looking?) and jongin is sure she’s judging him. ‘shut up’ he mouths at her, and if horses could grin smugly jongin is pretty sure she would.
“fine,” jongin says. “have fun getting sehun into the gate.” sehun snorts, loudly. she’s never understood the point of them. “she’d probably rather take a nap.”
“she has a lot of sass, your little pony.”
jongin, who has already started moving to the door that leads out to the track, looks back at chen and smiles. “her mom did too,” jongin says. “she was my favorite.”
“you’ll have to tell me about her, sometime.”
jongin waves in acceptance and hurries out to the track, where chanyeol is definitely not starting fires, busily preparing the gates instead. a few of his dad’s horses are being run this morning, too. there’d been a notice about training times up on the stable door.
“did you have a fun talk?” chanyeol asks when jongin gets over to him.
“‘start a fire’? really?”
“i hate to break it to you, jongin, but no matter what excuse i gave, nothing was going to make that moment less awkward.” chanyeol laughs so loud his hat falls off, and jongin picks it up and puts it on his own head. “did you guys make out.”
“be quiet, park, or i might accidentally toss this hat in the middle of the tracks while the horses or running.”
“that’s a low blow, kim jongin,” chanyeol says. “don’t worry, i won’t tell chen about your massive boner.”
jongin relaxes. “thanks.”
but then he says, “it’s obvious enough without me saying anything, anyway,” and giggles merrily, and jongin kind of sort of wants to throw himself on the track instead.
♘
the night before the first big race, they stay late at the stable. neither jongin or chen want to leave sehun alone the night before her big race.
“you should get some sleep,” jongin says to chen. “after all, all i have to do tomorrow is watch.”
“i’ll stay just a while longer,” chen says. “i’m too nervous to sleep.” he catches himself. “i mean, i’m not nervous, or anything. i just had coffee after lunch, and that feels, kind of, like nervousness. not that i know what nervousness feels like. because i’ve never been nervous. in my life.”
“it’s okay to be nervous.”
“i’m not, though.”
“i am,” jongin admits. he reaches across to chen’s lap where chen is holding a small cloth filled with apple slices, and picks one up to feed to sehun. chen jumps when jongin’s fingers skim the inside of his knee, and jongin fights down a blush.
“what do you have to be nervous about?” chen asks. “it’s been a long time since i’ve won something, you know. my career is...” he wrinkles his nose. “if we lose tomorrow, what do you lose?”
jongin sinks his fingers into sehun’s mane. “if i lose, i get stuck behind a desk for the rest of my life.”
“wow, that sucks. what do you get if we win?”
“i get to stay here,” jongin says, “with the horses and run the barn.” jongin gulps. “losing means a corporate job with my dad’s company and spending every day feeling socially inept. yay.”
chen looks surprised, as though he hadn’t known jongin had so much on the line. his eyes glimmer in even the dim overhead lights in the stable, and jongin’s heart pulses extra fast. “high stakes for you, then. if we lose, i’ll probably never get hired on the circuit again. have to start doing claim races or something.”
“i’d hire you,” jongin says, “because even if i lose, i’m still going to race horses. i just won’t be a part of it, like this.” the past few months have been amazing for jongin. with chanyeol and the horses and the jockeys. with chen. he’s more sure than ever that this isn’t a hobby for him. he’d like to do this forever.
“you’d still hire me? even if we lose?” he doesn’t sound like he believes jongin. jongin is tempted to reach out and cup his hand around chen’s neck and kiss him until he does believe it, but...
instead, he looks away. “sehun would miss you, i think.” i would miss you. “plus, you’re an asshole, but you’re also a good jockey, whatever your track record.”
“my track record is kind of important, idiot,” chen says, sounding almost fond. “since my job is, you know, on a track.”
“whatever.” jongin stretches, and he thinks chen might be watching him out of the corner of his eye. “it’s probably not even worth going to bed now. i have to be up early to pick up sehun from the airport. the real sehun, i mean.” reaching over to grab another piece of apple, this time for himself, jongin looks over at sehun the horse and says, “she looks ready for tomorrow.”
chen squints. “i think she might be asleep?”
jongin’s always thought it was unnerving the way horses could sleep standing up, but he laughs. “she really looks like sehun now. you’ll see what i mean tomorrow.”
“we’ll see a lot of things tomorrow,” chen says, thoughtfully munching on his own slice of apple. “hopefully one of those things will be a trophy.” he stands, holding the last slice of apple up to jongin’s lips. jongin bites into it, lips brushing chen’s fingers, which has chen pulling back like he’s been burned. he licks his lips, and his eyes search jongin’s. for a second, jongin thinks he sees an interest that mirrors his own, but then it disappears like it had never been. “good night, kim jongin.”
he watches chen’s mouth. his own mouth goes dry. he wants... “good night, chen,” he answers, and watches him leave, filled with longing that snuggles up next to his anxiousness for tomorrow’s race like an old bedfellow.
sehun, who, it turns out, is not quite asleep, starts chewing on his hair. “you think i’m pathetic, don’t you, sehun, girl?”
sehun whinnies, quietly, and nuzzles at him comfortingly, and jongin hands her the half slice of apple, sighing as he settles down to wait for morning.
yeehaw