cock envy. sehun/kai. three.
*
The apartment, which had seemed pretty large when Jongin first moved in (for Manhattan, anyway), is really small when Jongin is trying to avoid both of his roommates.
“Similar to most other aviary mating pairs,” Jongdae says from his usual place on the couch, “the pair in question has an extremely selective female, making the male go to any lengths to avoid rejection.” For the past two days, Jongdae has been watching Jongin and Sehun skirt around each other while narrating it like they’re the subject of a nature documentary.
At first, Jongin had found it embarrassing that Jongdae was talking about he and Sehun as a “mating pair”, but he’s almost used to it now, more upset that instead of trying to avoid rejection like Jongdae had just said, Jongin has already been rejected, and he’s just trying to avoid the pain of Sehun refusing to still be his friend.
Jongin’s sure that’s what’s going to happen, because he’s figured out, after fifteen years of best friendship with Sehun, that friends are for a lot of things, but they aren’t for kissing. And Jongin kissed Sehun? And liked it? Which is bad.
Right now, Jongin is sitting at the table, his cheek flat on the wood as he stares at his bowl of cereal. Sehun had come out of the bathroom a few moments before, prompting Jongdae’s voice-over, and he’d only had a towel on again, because he always forgets to bring another set of clothes with him to the bathroom.
His hair was wet, a little darker blond than usual and dripping onto his bare shoulders, and Jongin had flushed so badly that he had to put his head down on the table to try and cool his cheek off on the surface.
Sehun shut his bedroom door behind himself with a still-angry-sounding snap, and without him around, the chicks are making noises of distress from their box.
Jongdae leans over to look at them. “What’s that, boys? Timmy’s fallen down the well?”
Jongin doesn’t like that Jongdae is talking to them like they’re Lassie, because that reminds him of his dogs, which reminds him that Sehun isn’t talking to him, which makes him sad. Dogs don’t usually make Jongin sad, and even when he is sad, fluffy animals like baby chicks usually cheer him up? But now, all that just makes him even sadder.
He and Sehun have been avoiding each other for five days now, and Jongin thinks that his sad-o-meter has probably hit rock bottom.
Jongin is so wrapped up in staring dejectedly at his bowl of cereal, slowly going soggy as it absorbs the milk, that he doesn’t hear Jongdae walk over until he’s ruffling the side of Jongin’s hair. “It’ll be okay, Jongin. You’ve still got time to work something out,” he says. “Female black widow spiders don’t eat the males until after they mate.”
“I thought we were birds,” Jongin mumbles, and Jongdae laughs.
He pokes Jongin in the ear, which might be Jongdae’s body language version of “hang in there!” but it kind of hurts because Jongdae’s nails are long and also because Jongin’s sad-o-meter overload is making everything seem even more miserable.
He tries to think of what Kyungsoo would tell him to do. Kyungsoo might have questionable business practices (what had he been doing with Kris, anyway?), but he’s always been Jongin’s friend. He’d probably tell Jongin to apologize again, which he knows he should do, but? He’s just really? That seems scary.
Pulling his phone out of his pocket, Jongin presses #4 on speed dial (#1 is his mother, #2 is Sehun, and #3 is the vet office) and lays it on the ear not pressed to the table.
Kyungsoo sounds distracted when he picks up. “Jongin? Why are you calling me at eight in the morning?”
“Um,” Jongin says, checking to make sure Jongdae is in his room and not observing him from the couch, “I need some advice.”
“Is this about Sehun?”
“Well…”
Kyungsoo sighs, and Jongin can hear something (a person? people?) mumbling in the background, which is weird, since Kyungsoo has a huge penthouse that he lives in all by himself because he “loathes humanity”. “Look, my advice about Sehun has always been the same: talk to him.” Jongin makes a pitiful sound that echoes off the surface of the table. “If you won’t talk to him, then he’ll never know what you’re thinking, and you’ll die alone. Now, I have people-- I mean, things to do before I go to work. I’ll talk to you later.” He hangs up, but Jongin swears he hears masculine-sounding laughter that isn’t Kyungsoo’s before the sound cuts out? It’s very mysterious. Maybe Kyungsoo’s expensive apartment is haunted.
The phone slides off Jongin’s face and onto the table pitifully. “I don’t wanna talk to Sehun,” Jongin whines to himself, just as Sehun walks out of his room toward the front door, and Sehun glares at him as if to say no one wants to talk to you either, before slamming the door behind himself.
Jongin’s cereal is almost fully dissolved now and Jongin pushes the bowl away, splaying across the table and waiting for death. “I should talk to Sehun.”
*
Jongdae doesn’t leave Sehun and Jongin alone together in the apartment until Sunday, when Baekhyun pops by with a “Hey, you little bitch, we’re going to Coney Island,” and Jongdae is dressed in record time, muttering something about bucket lists and rollercoaster sex as he half-heartedly ties his shoes, tripping on the laces as he closes the door behind him.
“Um,” Jongin says, after a couple of silent minutes have passed between them, “can we talk?”
“I don’t know,” Sehun says. “Can you?”
Jongin flinches. Sehun feels a little bad about it, but not enough to apologize. After all, Sehun isn’t the asshole who had the bright idea to kiss his best friend to end an argument, so Sehun doesn’t have anything to apologize for.
Also, Sehun doesn’t apologize. On principle. Except once, for giving Jongin a hard time about his virginity. But that was different, anyway.
“About what happened,” Jongin says, and Sehun holds his breath. He has no idea what Jongin is about to say. Actually, he’s not even sure Jongin knows what he’s about to say.
“It’s whatever,” Sehun says, when he realizes Jongin is waiting for him to give him the go-ahead.
It’s not whatever. Sehun hasn’t slept a wink since Jongin judiciously took a huge, rottweiler-sized bite of Sehun’s self-denial and reminded him of all the misery he’d gone through when he was fifteen and figuring out Jongin was much more to him than just a friend. It totally sucks that Jongin would kiss him out of nowhere like that, long after Sehun has convinced himself he should move on but unfortunately before he’d actually managed to do it.
Especially since Jongin, if his retreat to the bathroom is any indication, didn’t really mean it at all. Sehun’s been avoiding Jongin just so Jongin won’t tell him to--
“We should forget it ever happened,” Jongin babbles out quickly. “I was just stressed out and I know you’re straight and I just--”
It shouldn’t make Sehun feel like his heart is breaking all over again. “Just like in high school, right?” he says, and he squats down to pick Heart and Earth up out of the box. “We’ll just pretend it never happened, right?”
“In high school?” Jongin looks confused, but Sehun doesn’t care. “What are you talking about?”
“It’s nothing, Jongin,” Sehun says, getting angry so he won’t be sad. “Leave me alone, I want to play with the chicks.”
“You can play with them later, Sehun! I want to talk to you!”
“I found a home for them,” Sehun says, partly because he’s been meaning to tell Jongin, and partly because he knows it will make Jongin upset. “You know, like you were supposed to. They’re gonna be gone next week.” Jongin is chewing on his lower lip again, and Sehun remembers, achingly, how pillow-soft his lips felt pushing into Sehun’s own. “Minseok’s parents are taking them. They have a farm.”
“When the chicks are gone, things can go back to normal,” Jongin says, and Sehun wishes he could tell him that they can. “And we can put it all behind us. The fighting and the--” He can’t even say it. Sehun would laugh but at this point it might turn into crying and that’s the last thing he wants.
The truth is, though, they probably can’t, because Sehun is so angry, at Jongin for making him feel things, about him, about baby chicks, about everything, and also at himself, because he hadn’t been cold and stoic enough to prevent Jongin from doing it. “We never should have gotten chick-married,” Sehun says, and he leaves a sputtering Jongin standing next to the nervously cheeping Fire and Water and Wind, as he cups Heart and Earth and takes them with him into his bedroom.
Sehun doesn’t care if Jongin is upset. All of this is Jongin’s fault, anyway, with his stupid feelings and stupid chickens and stupid kisses and stupid repeated rejections of Sehun.
Even if he did care, it’s not like it matters. Everything is already messed up anyway.
*
In Gilmore Girls, Rory always talked to her mom when she had boy problems.
Jongin can’t really talk to his mom about boy problems? Mostly because she’s still not convinced that, at twenty-three, Jongin is old enough to date. (“You can date when you’re married,” she always says stubbornly, like that makes any sense, while packing him up two more jars of kimchi to take home with him because she seems to think he’s incapable of going to the Korean market on his own. She’s probably right.)
So Jongin has to settle for the next best thing, which are the friends he has that hang out with him more than they hang out with Sehun. And Jongdae, who’d seen Jongin was headed out of the apartment and followed him to the diner, chatting the whole way about how Baekhyun was too busy to hang out and Sehun was about as much fun to talk to as a toaster so he had no choice but to go with Jongin.
Kyungsoo and Chanyeol were already waiting with a table, and Kyungsoo appeared to be sitting? on Kris? Who is totally more Sehun’s friend than Jongin’s but it’s not like Jongin can do anything about it.
“I’m a busy man, Jongin.”
“I think you mean getting busy,” Chanyeol leers, and Jongin watches curiously through his haze of misery as Kyungsoo smirks and looks Chanyeol up and down.
“If you’re that lucky,” he replies, and Jongdae gags. “So, Jongin, confess your sins.” Impatience rolling off of him in waves even as he settles himself back into Kris’s lap. “What have you done now that requires a crisis council?”
“Sehun’s mad at me again because I told him I wanted things to be like they were before we brought the chicks home.”
Chanyeol scrunches up his whole face. Jongin thinks he looks like a labrador when he does that, or maybe like Pamela Anderson when Tao isn’t paying complete attention to her.
“You’re just so stupid,” Kyungsoo says, moving Kris’s hand higher on his thigh. Are they dating? This is so weird. Kyungsoo’s like Sehun, with the emotions thing, only with the added excuse that he and his cousin Junmyeon had probably spent their childhood being thrown into shark tanks and told to emulate. “If you would just be honest and tell Sehun that your greatest dream since puberty has been to hold hands with him and re-enact an episode of The Carrie Diaries--”
“I love that show,” Jongin says pathetically, frowning down at his folded hands as Jongdae chokes. “But Sehun hates it because he thinks all the guys have better hair than he does.”
“He would,” Chanyeol says, slurping his drink obnoxiously. His neck is flushed, and why does Kyungsoo look so pleased?
Jongin’s friends are kind of strange, but he loves them anyway, he guesses.
“He should stop bleaching it within an inch of it’s life, then,” Jongdae says. “Sometimes I look at his ends and I can hear them screaming. For help.”
“But they don’t have better hair than he does,” Jongin continues, ignoring the alarming? idea of Sehun’s hair screaming at him, because that would be creepy? And besides, Jongin likes the way Sehun’s hair looks when it’s all… blond… and stuff. “Sehun’s hair is really nice.”
“Jongin, you think everything about Sehun is nice. It’s probably because you’re so used to dealing with feral house cats.” Kyungsoo clears his throat, and Kris immediately pushes his glass closer so that Kyungsoo can have some of his soda.
“Jongin’s taste is extremely questionable,” Jongdae agrees. “I mean, really, he could at least have fallen in love with a Tommy Hilfiger model. Even thinking about Abercrombie gives me hives.”
“Says the man dating Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo says with an arched eyebrow, and Jongdae shrugs.
“I think Baekhyun’s nice,” Kris interjects. “He always compliments my art.”
“That’s not a point in his favor,” Kyungsoo murmurs, but like, under his breath so Kris doesn’t really hear it, which is much… nicer? Than Kyungsoo ever is to anyone else.
“Sehun will hate me forever if he finds out that I…” Jongin scowls and rubs at his face. “If only I hadn’t kissed him, things would never be this complicated.”
Suddenly, and of Jongin’s friends are quiet. They’re all staring at him when he drops his hands. “What?” Jongdae asks, and Jongin grimaces because Sehun will never forget about it if everyone else knows, right?
“Didn’t I mention… that…?” Jongin nervously chuckles, but halfway through it turns into a sob. “It wasn’t my fault! He has really… pink… lips…?”
“Jongin,” Kyungsoo says. “Why don’t we start storytime over and you tell the whole thing this time.”
“Yeah,” Chanyeol says. “Cause now I think I’m starting to figure out why you’re in the doghouse.” Kyungsoo doesn’t even look at Chanyeol when he punches him in the arm, and Chanyeol grunts even as he accepts the blow.
“We were arguing? About…my children. The dogs, I mean, because they tried to chase the chicks, and Sehun said I didn’t care about them enough, which is totally untrue, so...” Jongin sighs. “Then Sehun was in my face, and he was like, holding my shirt like--” Jongin grabs Jongdae’s shirt and shakes him, like Sehun had done to Jongin. “I tried not to think about, you know, not friendship things, but then he smelled so nice and I thought I was going to die but then I didn’t die but instead I just--” He leans toward Jongdae, but Jongdae shoves him back.
“We get the picture, no need to use me as your pretend Sehun for that,” Jondae says, as Chanyeol starts laughing again, louder than before. Jongin lets go of Jongdae and starts hugging himself. Sehun’s mouth is so nice? Sehun???????? Is???? Jongin kissed Sehun? He’s going to start hyperventilating all over again.
Kyungsoo is nothing if not good at directing things back onto topic, though. “Okay, Jongin. So you kissed him. Then what happened?”
“I locked myself in the bathroom for three hours,” Jongin replies. “To, uh, deal with my emotions.”
Kris nods understandingly, and Jongin’s glad at least one of his friends thinks that was a reasonable reaction to an untenable situation.
“Wow, is that what you were moaning about? That’s good to know,” Jongdae says. “I thought you might be giving birth in there. I was about to call Baekhyun for help.”
“Why would you call Baekhyun for help?” Jongin asks, but he’s ignored as Kyungsoo growls with irritation.
“So instead of apologizing or discussing things like a reasonable adult, you--”
“Tucked your tail between your legs and ran for cover?” Chanyeol finishes, flinching away before he even completes his sentence, barely dodging Kyungsoo’s swinging fist. “Just because it’s puppy love doesn’t mean you don’t have to face things like an adult, Jongin.”
“Yeah, and not a little bitch--” Jongdae starts, and Kyungsoo gives him a beady-eyed glare that has him drawing back.
“I thought that was your nickname,” Jongin says, because he doesn’t think he’s ever heard Baekhyun call Jongdae anything else.
“You’ll understand when your older,” Jongdae replies, ignoring the looks both Chanyeol and Kyungsoo are giving him. “Along with the fact that you’re not supposed to lock yourself in the bathroom when you do something you think was wrong.”
“Sehun can’t glare at me through the door!” Jongin should have ordered three milkshakes instead of two. “Well, he can, but I can’t see it, so that means I can pretend that he isn’t.”
Kyungsoo is looking at Jongin the same way Jongin looks at abandoned kittens right now, like Jongin is helpless and cute and Kyungsoo just wants to take care of him. “But you did eventually talk to Sehun, yes?”
“I don’t want him to stop being my friend!” Jongin clenches his hands into fists. “So I told him we should pretend like it never happened, and he said something like ’just like in high school’--”
“That sounded nothing like Sehun,” Chanyeol interjects. “For the record.” He pauses dramatically. “Parrotting--”
“If you finish that joke,” Kyungsoo says, “I will have Kris turn you into a eunuch.” Kyungsoo pauses. “And that would be a real shame.” He rolls the r.
“What happened in high school?” Kris asks, and Jongin furrows his brows with frustration.
“I don’t even know what he’s talking about,” he says, staring balefully at his empty glass. “I don’t remember anything happening in high school…”
Jongdae coughs. “Nothing? Really?” He gives Jongin an incredulous look, and Jongin feels really dumb.
“No,” Jongin says. “Just Sehun and I being best friends.”
“I almost feel sorry for Sehun,” Kyungsoo says. “Jongin’s just so…”
“Sehun’s the same though,” Jongdae says. “It really is painful.”
“I’m still here?” Jongin says. His phone starts vibrating furiously, and Jongin knows it’s Sehun because only angry Sehun could make Jongin’s cellphone shiver with fear. Jongin pets it soothingly like he’s calming a baby chick before picking up. “Hello?”
“I need to go out,” Sehun says coldly. “So hurry up and come home so I can leave.”
“Right,” Jongin says, and Sehun hangs up without another word. “He’s still mad.”
“I wonder why,” Kyungsoo says.
“You should head home to the wife before you have to sleep on the couch,” adds Jongdae.
“Why would I sleep on the couch?” Unless Sehun was on the couch too? It might be nice, Jongin thinks, to sleep next to Sehun on the couch, and feel his warmth like he had a few days ago, before Jongin had ruined everything and Sehun had let him pick the chick fluff out of his hair.
“Go,” Chanyeol says, and Jongin sighs, pulling cash out of his wallet as Jongdae does the same.
“I’ll go with you,” he says. “Solidarity. If I’m going to tease you, I should also be nice sometimes too. It makes me unpredictable.”
Jongdae is nice. He doesn’t talk about mating habits once as they make their way home to a Sehun who doesn’t even like Jongin anymore.
*
Sehun is sitting at the table with the classifieds when Jongdae and Jongin come into the apartment.
“What the fuck, Sehun?” Jongdae says, tripping over a pile of shoes near the door. “Dusk fell two hours ago. This isn’t an Abercrombie store, turn on some lights.”
Sehun looks around, wondering if he’s managed to passively invent time travel, because when he’d circled the last apartment advertisement in the paper, the sun was definitely still out.
Of course, it’s possible that Sehun had spent an unspecified amount of time staring off into space, trying not to think about saying goodbye to the chicks when they’ll leave with Minseok’s parents in a few days and ending up thinking about it anyways, and definitely not feeling a little bit teary.
Sehun is not going to cry when the chicks leave, just like he didn’t cry when Jongin kissed him and then took it back like it didn’t mean anything.
Sehun is not sad. He feels nothing. He is placid, like a hidden mountain lake.
Standing pitifully by the tower of shoes that Jongdae had run into, Jongin is looking at Sehun, his shoulders slumped.
Things would probably be better if Sehun didn’t have a roommate that he was kind of irredeemably in love with.
But that doesn’t matter, because Sehun is placid, like a hidden mountain lake.
“What’s that?” Jongdae says as he passes by on his way to the fridge. He’s wearing a pair of Baekhyun’s jeans again, the little gold apple emblem glinting when he flips the light on and leans over to look at what’s in the freezer.
“Classifieds.” Sehun doesn’t look at Jongin. “I’m thinking about maybe moving out. Somewhere closer to work, you know.”
Jongdae turns around, holding one of those patriotic rocket-shaped popsicles and nodding. “I understand. Taking the subway blows.”
Jongin makes a strangled noise that sounds like the ungreased hinge of a door.
“What?” he says in a tiny voice. “You can’t move out!”
Out of the corner of his eye, Sehun sees Jongdae raise his eyebrow, making his way out of the kitchen and into his room.
“Of course I can move out,” Sehun says, feeling really fucking resentful all of a sudden. “I can do whatever I want.”
“But what about the chicks?”
“They’ll be gone tomorrow, and you won’t need me around to take care of them for you.” Sehun holds up the newspaper, which is covered in red-circled ads. “See? There’s plenty of other places for me to go where I might actually be wanted.”
He stands up, clutching the paper in his fist, because he can look at these ads just as easily alone in his room as he can at the table and he really doesn’t feel like going out anymore, when Jongin bursts out, “No!! You can’t leave! We’re chick married!”
Sehun freezes halfway out of his chair, and Jongin stumbles forward, wringing his hands together. “Even after they leave the nest, we’re still, um, you know…”
“I thought you didn’t want to be chick married to me,” Sehun says flatly.
“That’s not what I meant, I just--” Jongin looks at Sehun like he’s supposed to understand. Like Sehun is supposed to read his mind.
Sehun cannot read Jongin’s mind. He is not clairvoyant, and Jongin is really fucking confusing on a good day, and it is not a good day. Not for Sehun or Jongin, and probably not for Jongdae, either, considering his roommates are having an altercation in the kitchen.
“You just what?” Sehun says, about as far from a hidden mountain lake as it is possible to get, frustration and anger and sadness about all of his pent up Sexual Jongin Thoughts spilling over, and reminding him that along with those, there all the Romantic Jongin Thoughts there too, all tangled up in Sehun’s emotional attachment to his very best friend. “It’s like high school all over again, where I’m trying to tell you something important and you’re brushing it off like it’s not important. Can’t you--”
“I didn’t want to be in love with someone who didn’t love me back!” Jongin yells, before he slaps both hands over his mouth and stares at Sehun with his eyes round like quarters, going pale as Sehun tries to process.
In love. With Sehun. Okay, that’s…
“Jongin, I--”
“I know you don’t like men and that you probably don’t even want to be bffs with me anymore,” Jongin says miserably, “but I’ve really, really been in love with you for like forever, Sehun.”
Sehun’s hidden mountain lake is suddenly flooding the banks, overflowing with the torrential rain that is Jongin’s unexpected confession.
“Are you fucking kidding me, Jongin?? I’ve loved you since I was fifteen, even after you told me that I wasn’t gay. I thought that was your way of telling me to get over you or something.” Sehun takes a deep breath and says, as clearly as possible, “I’m gay. I’m really fucking gay and I want to do all sorts of gay things with you, like get a puppy and name it after a character from Gossip Girl, and have butt-sex with you on the kitchen table and hold your hand at a Sandra Bullock rom-com while you cry into your popcorn.”
The last one is something they already do anyway, but he would like for it to mean something.
Jongin is looking at him, shocked, and Sehun doesn’t know why. It’s not like Sehun has really put up with anyone else for his whole entire life like he has with Jongin, and doesn’t Jongin know he’s the only person Sehun ever called by name in high school? He even remembers Jongin’s birthday. Sehun doesn’t even know his mother’s birthday. Sehun has wandered into alleys, gotten his favorite jeans dirty, babysat stray baby chickens for Jongin. Sehun had thought, if there was any chance of Jongin liking him, Jongin would know that Sehun liked him back, because Jongin is literally the only person in his life he gives a damn about.
Finally breaking out of his daze, Jongin’s shocked expression melts into the biggest, warmest smile Sehun has seen him make in weeks. His eyes light up, and even if Jongin can be really, really, stupid, and make Sehun feel all sorts of inconvenient things, when he smiles like this, Sehun begrudgingly thinks it’s kind of worth it.
Jongin licks his lips. “Well,” he says, stepping closer to Sehun, carefully, like Jongin is some animal at the vet that’s afraid of him or something, and not the same Sehun who’s spent hours and hours sitting next to him on the fire escape between their families’ apartments, talking about nothing and everything, “I’ve loved you since I was thirteen, so I win.”
Sehun can feel a prickling at the corners of his eyes, so he crosses his arms and scoffs. “This isn’t a feelings competition, Jongin. What would you even win?”
Jongin’s whole body seems to turn some shade of red Sehun has never seen before, it’s probably carnelian or something, and he looks down at his own feet before mumbling “.....Sex?”
Sehun’s heart stops, and he tries to stop himself from having Sexual Jongin Thoughts, but then, as his heart slams back into motion, he realizes that Jongin is actually inviting him to have Sexual Jongin Thoughts. He’s got an engraved invitation to Sexual Jongin Thoughts, and heck if he’s not going to RSVP. “...You’re right, you definitely win.”
The front doorknob rattles, and Jongdae has clearly done something horrible, like give Baekhyun a key, because he lets himself into the apartment and looks at them both.
“So,” he says, adjusting the color of his tacky plaid shirt, “have you guys fucked yet?”
*
It’s sad to watch the chicks leave in Minseok’s parents’ car, but Jongin is glad they have the opening of Kris’s new show at some big art gallery to go to that night, because Sehun looks like he might cry, and Sehun has never cried, so Jongin is afraid he won’t know what to do if he does.
“Glad you finally took my advice,” Kyungsoo says over the Good Charlotte playing in the background as people mill around the different sections of the exhibit. Kris is hanging off Kyungsoo’s arm, in a leather outfit that clings, and a glass of bubbling champagne in his hand.
Sehun’s got his arm around Jongin’s waist, and Jongin tries not to blush, because it’s not embarrassing, because now he and Sehun are together.
Sehun had spotted Minseok and his wife, Narsha, over by the open bar, and he’d left Jongin with a lingering look when he’d gone over to say hi to his boss.
“Nice show,” Jongin says to Kris, who looks giggly-drunk and pink-cheeked.
“It is nice, isn’t it?” Kyungsoo pats Kris on the shoulder looking fond. “I like to give my pets treats sometimes. What do you think of his outfit?” He turns to Kris. “Spin for them, baby. Let them see you.”
Kris tries to spin, a little too much alcohol in his system to manage it without a stumble, and Kyungsoo tucks Kris back into his side to hold him steady when he’s finished.
“It looks kind of hard to put on,” Jongin says. There are an awful lot of buckles and leather straps? “And take off?”
Chanyeol steps up on the other side of Kris out of nowhere, slinging an arm over Kris’s shoulders. “Sometimes it takes an extra pair of hands,” he says, waggling his eyebrows, and Jongin may be naive, but that is definitely something he didn’t want to know about his boss.
Luckily, Sehun and Jongdae come over, and Jongin is saved from having to think of an answer. The art piece that they’re standing next to is one of the centerpieces of Kris’s collection on display, dioramas of stuffed animals made from trash and posed doing normal household chores. The bear in this one has eyes made from Izzy bottle caps and is staring at Jongin while it irons. It’s kind of mesmerizing? Jongin is being hypnotized by a trash bear.
Sehun tangles his fingers with Jongin’s, holding his hand and bringing him back to the conversation happening around him. Kyungsoo is talking about the new hotel his company is opening in Fiji and Jongdae is trying to convince him to fly them all there in his family jet for free.
Jongin looks around. “Where’s Baekhyun, anyway?”
“Don’t speak his name,” Sehun says, squeezing Jongin’s hand. Chanyeol looks five seconds from cooing at them both like they’re newborn kittens. “He’s basically Beetlejuice, he’ll show up if you say it three times.”
“I think Baekhyun is very nice,” Kris says again, and Jongin is amazed by his loyalty. This time, though, it might be because Kris is inebriated.
Jongdae shrugs. “He said he got a frantic call about some woman’s cervix, so he had to go.”
“All your boyfriend does is talk graphically about vaginas,” Sehun says, and Jongin blushes. “Are you sure he’s even into guys?”
“I mean, he is an OBGYN,” Jongdae says casually, like he isn’t blowing everyone’s mind with that fact, and then the questions start.
“Wait, someone let Baekhyun into medical school?”
“People let Baekhyun look at their vaginas?”
“And handle their babies?”
“You’re dating an obstetrician???”
“I would never trust someone who wears exclusively plaid around my vagina,” Sehun says, looking disturbed.
“Yes,” Jongdae says. “Tell me all about your vagina, Sehun.” He turns to Jongin instead. “I would ask you about it, Jongin, except you guys haven’t fucked yet.”
Jongin would sink into the floor if it were possible, but he doesn’t think it is??? Physics was never a strong point of his.
“I hate that you know about my sex life,” Sehun says conversationally. “I really, really do.”
“Whatever, you know about mine,” Jongdae says. “This isn’t amateur friendship.”
“It’s hard not to, since you guys are constantly going at it, all hours of the day, really.”
“That’s because he has an apple bottom,” Jongdae says, leering. “I always wanna take a bite.”
*
Jongin had been as giggly drunk as Kris by the time they got home from Kris’s show, and Sehun had put him to bed, marveling internally at the fact that neither of them would have to wake up early to check on the chicks in the morning. That, of course, almost made Sehun feel things about the fact that that also meant Heart wouldn’t be there to almost fall into his cereal tomorrow, either, but he had pushed it down and kissed a sleepy, wriggly Jongin’s forehead before returning to his own room to sleep.
He doesn’t expect to wake up in the ‘morning’ with a lapful of Jongin, who, as usual had wormed his way out of all his clothes in his sleep.
“The kids are gone,” Jongin says. “Does that mean I can lose my virginity now?”
“You guys are pathetic!” Baekhyun yells through the wall, and he must have come over after he was done being elbow-deep in placenta or whatever at work. Sehun turns on his stereo to drown him out.
“I mean, if you want,” Sehun says. “I know you’ve been saving it or something--”
“For you,” Jongin says. “I mean, not for you but like, yeah, for you, because I only like you? So you. Yes. I want.”
Sehun looks at Jongin, who is chewing on his lip and shirtless and puppy-eyed, and his stomach balls up with so much want that he might implode.
A decade’s worth of feelings is a hell of lot of feelings, Sehun decides, as he pushes Jongin back onto his bed, reversing their positions, black hair spreading out across the pillow as Jongin watches him with wide eyes.
“I’m just going to…” Sehun starts to say, then gives up on words, dropping his mouth to the smooth expanse of bared skin and kissing the spot just under Jongin’s adam’s apple. Jongin shivers, one of his hands coming up to grab Sehun’s arm as the other one clutches nervously at the sheets.
It’s cute, how nervous he is, and that gives Sehun the confidence to pretend he isn’t nervous too. It’s not like he’s some stud, or anything. He’d dated a guy in college that had reminded him an awful lot of Jongin, and they’d had sex a few times before Sehun had realized the guy reminded him an awful lot of Jongin, and broken the whole thing off.
This, though, is real life actual Jongin in his bed, and Sehun is going to act on every single Sexual Jongin Thought he’s ever had. He nips at Jongin’s earlobe, and Jongin whines, nosing at Sehun’s jaw until Sehun kisses him on the lips, teasingly, before pulling back so he can admire Jongin’s already quickened breaths and pink cheeks, both hands tugging at Jongin’s sweatpants, getting them halfway down his thighs before Jongin kicks them off himself.
He palms Jongin through his underwear, these tight pink briefs that look like something right out of a JAV, and Jongin lifts himself up to wrap his arms around Sehun’s neck, kissing him sloppily as he ruts into Sehun’s hand.
Now that Sehun is allowed to kiss Jongin, he can’t really think of anything else he’d rather do, sucking on Jongin’s lower lip and tongue until Jongin moans and shudders underneath him. He reaches around blindly, to peel down Jongin’s briefs, and Jongin squeaks, body tensing like he’s trying to resist curling up.
“Hey,” Sehun says, pulling back for air as he bares the last of Jongin’s skin. “We don’t have to do this.”
Jongin shakes his whole head, sleep-mussed hair flopping around, and bites at his lips. His mouth is red and shiny with their mixed saliva. “It’s not that,” Jongin stutters. He looks away as Sehun strokes the naked skin of his hip. “I know I’m not…”
He trails off, still looking like he wants to hide himself, because Sehun won’t think he’s attractive enough to have sex with or something.
Jongin is definitely attractive enough to have sex with, he thinks, as Jongin’s cock is freed from his underwear and rests pink and full against his smooth stomach. He bends down, putting his mouth on one of Jongin’s nipples, and wraps his hand around Jongin to jerk him off.
He only stokes Jongin’s bare cock four times before Jongin comes, hips lifting off the bed as he spills onto his stomach. He blushes a dark red, his face the picture of exertion and humiliation as Sehun looks up at him in surprise. “I’m sorry,” he says. “It’s just that no one’s ever--”
“It’s no big deal,” Sehun says, letting go of Jongin’s cock and massaging his hip bone soothingly. “We’ll just have to make you come again.”
He leans over Jongin to reach under his bed for the bottle of lube, and Jongin makes a sound halfway between a moan and a sigh when he feels Sehun’s hard-on press against his stomach through his sleep pants that is so completely endearing that Sehun has to kiss him again.
Then he sits back, moving so he’s closer to Jongin’s knees, and begins easing them apart. Jongin’s cum is drying on his belly, pretty against his tan, and Sehun’s mouth might be watering a little.
He squeezes some of the cool gel onto his fingers, and Jongin looks up at him, petrified. Sehun frowns at him.
“Don’t make the waffle iron face when your hand is that close to my asshole,” Jongin says. “I don’t know what it means.”
“The… waffle iron face?” Sehun runs his clean hand up Jongin’s inner thigh, soothingly, and Jongin closes his eyes. “Jongin, do you know what I’m about to do?”
“Yeah,” Jongin says. “Baekhyun…” Jongin opens his eyes to give Sehun an embarrassed look. “He talked to me about how it works, so…”
“Don’t you remember what I told you about saying his name?” Sehun asks, trying to shove down the image of Baekhyun giving Jongin The Talk while simultaneously hoping he did a good job at it. “I need you to relax.”
“I am extremely relaxed,” Jongin says with a quavering voice. “I am totally ready. Please continue with the procedure.”
“This isn’t surgery, Jongin,” Sehun says. “Just let yourself enjoy it.”
Jongin finally starts taking his advice to relax when Sehun has two fingers firmly pressing into him, and Jongin’s nonsensical babbling is far more attractive when he’s coming apart at Sehun’s touch. Sehun feels like he’s finally taking revenge on Jongdae and Baekhyun for their morning sex when he adds a third finger and pushes up on Jongin’s prostate, because Jongin groans loud enough to be audible over the music.
It’s cheesy, but the way Jongin feels around his fingers, tight and hot, and the way he moans Sehun’s name when he comes all over himself a second time, untouched, is kind of a dream come true-- at least, it’s been the star of Sehun’s wet dreams ever since he had discovered the concept of orgasms.
He’d never had a chance to imagine how Jongin would look basking in his afterglow, but the sight of Jongin, panting and open-mouthed, is enough to make Sehun hard enough that his sleep pants are pulled out of place.
“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Sehun asks, pulling his hand away and wiping it on his sheets.
Jongin’s tongue licks out to wet his mouth. “It was…” He wriggles in Sehun’s hold, looking shy and moving so he can close his legs again. “I can’t imagine what it’ll feel like when you’re, um, in me?" Jongin whispers the last part, but Sehun hears him loud and clear.
Sehun's dick definitely agrees, twitching and catching Jongin’s eye. He pushes himself up so that he’s on his hands and knees, crawling toward the tent in Sehun’s pants.
Jongin pulls hesitantly on the fabric, and Sehun lifts his hips to allow him to pull the sleep pants all the way off. He tries not to laugh when Jongin stares wide-eyed at his cock, lips forming a perfect ‘o’ as he grabs it with one hand. “You’re so hard,” Jongin says, and Sehun does laugh.
“Yeah,” Sehun says, “you gonna do something about it or just stare?”
The first touch of Jongin’s lips to the head of his cock makes Sehun think he’s going to come as embarrassingly fast as Jongin had. He holds out, somehow, and is rewarded with the stretch of Jongin’s lips and the hesitant touch of his wet tongue as he licks across Sehun’s slit.
Jongin takes him in slowly, and Sehun reaches out to stroke Jongin’s cheek, fingers framing his jaw and guiding him. He can feel his cock through Jongin’s cheek as it hollows a little, Jongin sucking on him a bit, and Sehun can tell that once Jongin has had some practice, Jongin is going to give the World’s Most Amazing Head.
As it is, the way Jongin gags on Sehun’s cock when brings his mouth down too far, the back of his throat spasming amazingly around Sehun, and how he refuses to come up for hair, keeping his head down and his lips tight, makes Sehun come hard enough that his fingers dig into Jongin’s chin, holding him in place.
Sehun wipes the cum from Jongin’s mouth, and then sits all the way up so he can kiss him, slow and wet, pulling him back down with him until they’re lying together, Jongin’s weight half on Sehun and half on the bed, Jongin’s come flaking off of his stomach and onto Sehun’s as he rubs his cold toes on Sehun’s ankles. “Okay?” Jongin asks, like Sehun’s going to kick him out of bed or something.
“Definitely,” Sehun replies, smelling Jongin’s hair and the soapy scent of his skin and thinking that he might not have cute baby chicks to cuddle with anymore but as far as replacements go, Jongin is top of the line.
“Gross,” Jongdae yells through the wall a few minutes later, as Sehun curls up in Jongin’s arm, feeling warm and content and a lot like he wants to go back to sleep, “parent sex is the worst.”
Not even Baekhyun’s cackles can make Sehun stop almost-smiling.
*
“So, finally got some, huh?” Chanyeol says knowingly, when Jongin arrives six minutes late for work with red marks all over his neck and what must be a permanent red tint to his cheeks. Sehun had caught him at the door this morning on his way out, pinning him to the wall and making out with him until Jongdae had come out of his room and screamed.
“Yeah,” Jongin says, bursting with just as much happiness as embarrassment, and Chanyeol claps him on the back and sends him careening five feet forward. “I did.”
“Stop looking so agitated,” Chanyeol says. “That’s usually when we know it’s time to neuter.”
*
“They’re so… big,” Jongin says, and Sehun bumps shoulders with him, trying not to smile.
“That’s what happens, Jongin, kids grow up.”
Their chicks, now mature, egg-laying chickens--with the exception of Heart, a rooster-- squawk up at them from their nests. Sehun can kind of recognize them, even if their outsides have almost completely changed, mostly because they all look glad to see him, in that very chicken way, and Heart had come up to him and headbutted his shin to say hi.
“I have some of their eggs, if you’d like to take them home,” Minseok’s mother says, coming over to where they’re standing.
“We can’t eat our grandchildren,” Jongin gasps, horrified, and Sehun puts his hand over his mouth so he doesn’t say anything else.
“I’m sorry,” he tells Minseok’s mom. “Really.”
She looks at them strangely, and Sehun decides not to tell her about Jongin’s boycott of chicken related products for the past three months, even giving up on fried chicken. “Jongin, you went to veterinary school. You know that’s not how it works.”
They must not have made too bad of an impression, though, because she says, “Since you gave us your birds, would you like a puppy to take home? One of the farm’s dogs had a littler recently, and we’ve been trying to find some of them homes.”
Of course, Jongin picks out the smallest, floppiest puppy of the bunch, and after Jongin puts him down to go with Minseok’s mother to get a blanket for the car ride, the puppy tries to crawl up the leg of Sehun’s pants like he just can’t wait to be in Sehun’s arms.
He sighs and picks the little thing up, muttering darkly about animal magnetism.
The puppy happily licks at his face, tail wagging, and by the time Jongin comes back, he’s asleep in Sehun’s arms.
Jongin takes him from Sehun’s grasp, wrapping him in the blanket, and they get in the car, Sehun sliding into the drivers’ seat as he starts to sneeze.
“Can we name him Captain Planet?” Jongin asks, eyes wide enough that Sehun can’t bring himself to say no, even though it’s a stupid name. At least Jongin choses to name his pets after kids cartoons instead of former Baywatch actors.
“This time,” Sehun says sternly as Jongin cuddles the puppy that Sehun is probably allergic to, “you’re the mom.” He dreads what Baekhyun will say about them coming back from their “chick honeymoon” with another baby, but when he sees Jongin’s happy smile, he figures he can put up with it.
*