Downfall: Panic
Title: Падение (Downfall)
Characters: Russia
Rating: PG
Summary: Russia has hit the wall and doesn't feel ready to bounce back
Submission.
Defeat.
Ivan watched from his office window as he saw the fall of yet another government regime. The celebration and desecration of everything he had come to know and love had been going on for days now. It drove the Slavic man insane as he waited for the humans to stop; stop shoving his defeat in his face.
He had worked so hard to be strong, to show the world that he was going to be the one to have everyone safely under his arms to protect them from wars. There would be no more pain, no more arguments, no more hate, and no more scars. Ivan's hands itched to scratch his neck, but he kept his composure. He didn't want his own body to give in to the same nonsense going on right outside his building.
That nonsense would be something America and the other Westerners would do, dancing and singing and celebrating Ivan's pain. The fact that he "blinked". Oh, he'd never get over that stupid little phrase. He didn't want to think of it as if he and America and the outside world had played some childish game of a staring contest, but rather that he and America had tried to see which one was more true to their feelings.
In the end, America had won, but Ivan didn't think that America had won with his entire heart. He felt that he had the stronger mask, the better force to keep back all the lies, and the more convincing smile. But America's smile had only faltered once. And no one but Japan had seen it and he refused to talk of it, shuddering and looking away at even the mention of America's true feelings. So what did that make Ivan?
Did he falter more? Was he weaker? Is that how the world saw him?
He must be if he had lost to America and all the rest of Europe was laughing at him for his failure. How could he face those countries again after he had tried so hard to prove his worth?
There was a moment when he had truly felt as if everything was coming together and that some amazing power was falling into his hands. Power. The damn thing that always seemed to elude him.
Ivan slammed his fists against the wall near the window, tears springing to his eyes. How pathetic, he thought. Now he was about to cry? The Golden Horde was right. Ivan would never amount to be anything. He had just "blinked" and was seen as the laughing stock of the world.
Some big brother he was to his sisters and what a wonderful way to make everyone his friend. Even the boy with the brown hair and kind eyes wasn't his friend anymore. His dreams had shattered while so many others' had just come true.
Hoshiko2's cents: So how about them Putin protestin', eh?!
Second to last chapter is short. Forgive me. This was a bitch of a chapter to write and I really did not enjoy it. Next chapter, though, will be the last and will be a lot better, I promise.
To those who may or may not be reading anything else I write, I'm taking a hiatus until the holidays (i.e. Christmas). Sorry about that, but life is too much of a hassle to do everything at once.
~hoshiko