i'm really getting down, i feel like i am suffocating in my own life, and try to keep myself busy, but it doesn't work, it's just a cover up. i'm tired of hurting, i'm tired of seeing all this happiness around me, and me feeling like i'm just suppose to watch it all happen and not experience it for myself. it seems like people look at me and are ( Read more... )

i know i haven't posted in awhile, but here is the most recent news.. Brandon moved to Mississippi on thurs. long story short, something he has to do for himself cause he is not happy with life here, and my motivation is not enough, and i can't help him right now cause i'm still here at my parents. i try to think happy thoughts, but i'm no good at ( Read more... )

ok today starts my next eight days of working, no day off till christmas day, AHHHHHHH!!!! i hope i don't lose my sanity, so if i don't update here you all shall know why... lol

today i had to take brennan to the dermatologist today, cause about a week ago he broke out in a bad rash all over his back, we thought maybe it had to do with the change in his seizure medicine ( he is off the zonegran and is now on depakote ER) but the dermatologist just said that it was a virus and it is coming out of his system in the form of a ( Read more... )

today i was off from work, and i went to go look at a house, it's a really nice house, its been completely remodeled, it's 1500 sqft, on a half acre of land, and only asking 89,900 but the seller did have an offer of 82,000 except something happened and that fell through, but i know that he will go down on the price. this is the problem, there is ( Read more... )

due to the fact that i'm not using my computer right now..( i hate my computer!!!!), well lets see what has been going on, i finally got to start christmas shopping, yet still not done, oh well.... went looking at land and some houses yesterday, but for some reason i'm waiting for something to just jump out at me and say BUY ME!!! that didn't ( Read more... )

today started off kind of icky, was not looking forward to going to eat at my aunt's house, but had to go anyway...food was good, but then got bored, and sat there and listened to my family talk and realized a few things, my family may be SCREWED up but i don't think they are any different from anyone else's family...i was still down from not being ( Read more... )

so after a couple of days of crying and hours last nite of talking to brandon and my mom, i've come to realize some things.. what seems to be the hardest thing is change, things aren't as simple now that i don't have my own place, i'm use to having a lot of people around and it being easier to talk to someone and getting off my chest really quickly ( Read more... )

i feel like this xmas is not going to be what i would like it to be. it seems like i'm losing friends day by day, everyone has something going on in their life and i don't want to but in with my problems, but sometimes i just need someone to talk to. at home i feel to tired to try and play games with brennan, or to stay awake to read a book (if ( Read more... )

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