LJ Idol Season 8 Topic 4: What does narcissism have to do with me?
I am the strongest person I know.
No, seriously. If you put a walnut between my bicep and forearm, I can crack it by flexing my leg. I've used my butt muscles to open a locked car door without a key.
For all my formidable prowess, I'm also a certified genius. I mean actually certified, I keep the paperwork on file in my jet.
I make use of both of these abnormally elevated assets to win Mixed Martial Arts tournaments. Then I use my skills as a fine carpenter to make ever-more elaborate rare-wood display cases for my trophies. How can I use both brawn and genius to crush the opposition into helpless, wet jumbles of sobbing and broken limbs? The reason I can punch so freakin' hard is because I put just a touch of my vast reservoir of psychokinetic power into each strike. Ha ha, you might not believe me, but believe this: You do NOT want a demonstration. The shockwave of even being near one of my KINETIPUNCHES or ATOMIKICKS can break blood vessels in your eyes.
I use the low-slung kiddie urinals in the men's room. Despite my hallmarked legacy of superhuman power, I am simply not strong enough to haul my junk up to the higher pissers.
So anyway, I'm gonna go get another drink. What did you say your name was?
No, seriously. If you put a walnut between my bicep and forearm, I can crack it by flexing my leg. I've used my butt muscles to open a locked car door without a key.
For all my formidable prowess, I'm also a certified genius. I mean actually certified, I keep the paperwork on file in my jet.
I make use of both of these abnormally elevated assets to win Mixed Martial Arts tournaments. Then I use my skills as a fine carpenter to make ever-more elaborate rare-wood display cases for my trophies. How can I use both brawn and genius to crush the opposition into helpless, wet jumbles of sobbing and broken limbs? The reason I can punch so freakin' hard is because I put just a touch of my vast reservoir of psychokinetic power into each strike. Ha ha, you might not believe me, but believe this: You do NOT want a demonstration. The shockwave of even being near one of my KINETIPUNCHES or ATOMIKICKS can break blood vessels in your eyes.
I use the low-slung kiddie urinals in the men's room. Despite my hallmarked legacy of superhuman power, I am simply not strong enough to haul my junk up to the higher pissers.
So anyway, I'm gonna go get another drink. What did you say your name was?