1. Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random offensive about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you how awesome I am.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in drown you with.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first worst memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what ( Read more... )

If you've ever wondered what sex was like with semi-sentient kitchen appliances, you might want to read this.

By the way, Grayum, I found that by doing a search for "well stick my dick in a waffle iron."  Thanks, thanks a lot.

John Kraus is an asshole because he left his gasoline receipt at the pump.

School's not as bad now as it first seemed; things are looking up. Plus I got the first of four CDs I ordered, yesterday, and it kicks 25 asses. Still waiting for Toxic Narc, Lilitu, Within Temptation, and mes livres francais to get here. Speaking of French (har har), it blows. French is the only class with the balls to give me homework on a ( Read more... )

Why am I writing this when I have an extended essay I need to work on, homework to do, college application essays to write, and a whole mess of other shit I need to sort out? I don't know. It's easier ( Read more... )

Check out this link and give the number a call: 813-273-8160

DO IT! It's good for a laugh.

A woman, expecting her first child in early spring, has a difficult pregnancy. Nothing seems to want to go smoothly and the doctors end up inducing labor ( Read more... )

I'm so fucking goddamn piss-ass bored I'm actually fucking updating this goddamn shit. And throwing in random curse words. Now that I have nothing else to say, I'm going to write "bored". A lot. Enjoy ( Read more... )

Killin' it every day at the Y now. Hells yeah.

are stupid whores. I can get away with telling the truth because no girls read this bullshit anyway. But just in case they do, fuck you, I probably hate you. And your little dog too.