(no subject)
1.) What would you do if you were attacked by a werewolf?
• I'm trying to think of a smart ass answer, but I can't
2.) What's the FUNNIEST part of the term 'Phillips head screwdriver'?
• What? Ohhh. Ew, this makes me think of Phil Mulvey. So it's officially un-funny.
3.) If someone gave you a raft, a gun, & a vintage uniform, would you go storm the beach at Normandy & just tell everyone that you were 'really late'?
• Hells yes
4.) If you could steal the shoes of any person, living or dead, whose shoes would you steal & why?
• Hmmm... anyone with a lot of cute shoes, I guess
5.) Explain why YOU think that RED is the international symbol for STOP.
• Because it makes you PISSED OFF and ANGRY and then you're like HEY, SOMETHING RED!!! and then you notice it, and you stop. Lol, actually, I have no idea.
6.) If I were the ghost of Abraham Lincoln I would ______________.
• Be all ghost-like and float through things like walls
7.) Muhammad Ali in his prime? Or antilock brakes?
• Lol? Cheese curls.
8.) How many times have you thrown a video game controller at your brother/sister/cleaning lady?
• Zero, I don't play video games, and I don't have a brother, sister, or a cleaning lady.
9.) Name one thing that your mother was TOTALLY wrong about concerning panhandlers.
• My mother never warned me about panhandlers.
10.) Whose skull would you rather play with: Napoleon's? Richard Nixon's? Or your own?
• When it said Napoleon, I thought of Napoleon Dynamite. So. I'd play with Napoleon Dynamite's skull.
11.) What's the code to get unlimited lives in the nintendo game 'Contra'?
• OWTHATSMYTOE
12.) How old were you when you realised that everyone you ever met was a total liar, including yourself?
• 85
13.) Have you ever given someone directions that were intentionally false? & if so, where did you send them?
• Nope, never
14.) If you had to choose between the power to attract catastrophically large asteroids like a magnet, or to make retarded puppies appear out of thin air at will, which one would you go for?
• The latter. Retarded puppies, buahahahaha
15.) You liked at least ONE Milli Vanilli song. But which one WAS it?
• That one that goes like this: Dun-dun-doo-duh-duh-dun-dun-dun-doo
16.) Even though the terms 'ants' & 'magnifying glass' appear NOWHERE in ANY religious texts, do you still think that it's a sin?
• No comment.
17.) If you HAD to write a song about 'manifest destiny' what would the 3rd, 7th, & 9th words be in that song?
• The who what?
18.) Gilligan's Island would have been 100% funnier if Gilligan had __________ the Skipper.
• Murdered
19.) True or false, Budda's teachings can all be summed up by Private Hudson in the movie Aliens screaming, 'That's it... Game over man... GAME OVER!'
• False
20.) When you were a little kid, did you ever take a map, find where you lived on it, & slowly move your finger towards that spot, & as your finger got closer & closer to touching down, did you look over your shoulder & out the window to see if you could see a giant finger coming out of the sky?
• Yes actually, lol
21.) You don't REALLY understand how colour televison works... DO you?
• Not really. My dad always comes up to me while I'm on the computer and starts talking about somehting boring like how TVs work, or some kind of boring computer thing, but I never listen
22.) Has anyone in your family ever uttered the phrase, 'Too wet to plow, too windy to haul rocks' & if so... What in the FUCK do YOU think they were trying to tell you?
• Nope, lol
23.) Your favourite way to deal with telemarketers (other than totally caving in & buying shit like a complete sucker)?
• Talk to them, and ask them how much they hate their job. Or answering the phone (We have Caller ID so I do this all the time) "Suicide hotline, please hold!)
24.) If you have ever played an RPG video game, have you ever given your character a name like Mr Poo-Face or Fucktard just so you could giggle every time one of the characters in the game started talking to you? If so, what was the name?
• Yes actually
25.) When someone calls you on the phone & you are sound asleep, how long does it take you to figure out that 'Hello' is what you are supposed to say? Have you ever said anything else? What did you say?
• I always answer my phone when people call me at 3 in the morning and I forget what to say, so I go, "wrajwkhrahfw!!!" And then I say something like "I just had this funny dream that Josh Yoder was saying something funny!" or "What are you trying to do, kill the bunnies???"
26.) ____________ would be a WHOLE lot cooler if it had wheels on it.
• Air
27.) What's your fondest memory involving thumbtacks?
• One time I was like 9 and Robby Ames and I were in the Art Room at school and he was putting the pointy part of the thumbtack in his skin and then poking it out again and then putting it back in so he had a thumbtack attached to his hand and it was gross. But this is the only thumbtack memory I have.
28.) I would support a measure legally changing the name of the CAPS LOCK key on all keyboards to _______________.
• FUCK YOU (I'm so original)
29.) If the transporter system from Star Trek were invented tomorrow, what is probably the very FIRST way in which you would abuse it badly enough to get yours taken away?
• Every way possible. I would love a transporter almost as much as I would love a time machine
30.) WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE GODDAMN BAND?
• GODDAMN FUCKING PINK FLOYD, AT THE MOMENT.