so apparently i ship jade+john→dave now?
The problem is how goddamn cute they both are. You could've said no to either of them, but once they figured out your mortal fucking weakness (crimsoned for lethality), you were basically fucked, figuratively, literally and proverbially.
She's got eyes like goddamn lanterns behind those glasses, eyelashes that go on for miles. His teeth call to mind all manner of indecently adorable lop-eared animals. Her hips flare elegantly into strong thighs and her cleavage calls you like a retro game arcade calls a fat, unemployed basement dweller. His biceps look like some ancient Greek sculptor chiseled them from solid fucking marble while draped in a retinue of fawning men and women all out of their minds chasing white dragons. Maybe you should've equipped hammerkind.
All told, this is completely fucking unfair, and you would like to go on record as saying that you never stood a chance.
She's got eyes like goddamn lanterns behind those glasses, eyelashes that go on for miles. His teeth call to mind all manner of indecently adorable lop-eared animals. Her hips flare elegantly into strong thighs and her cleavage calls you like a retro game arcade calls a fat, unemployed basement dweller. His biceps look like some ancient Greek sculptor chiseled them from solid fucking marble while draped in a retinue of fawning men and women all out of their minds chasing white dragons. Maybe you should've equipped hammerkind.
All told, this is completely fucking unfair, and you would like to go on record as saying that you never stood a chance.