Hallelujah 28
CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT (I used to live alone)
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
stripeznstarz50 has signed on a mobile device
onceandthefuture: I must admit, I didn’t expect to see you online so soon
onceandthefuture: hating it that much?
stripeznstarz50: Nah not really
stripeznstarz50: Its okay
stripeznstarz50: Young soup is here :P
stripeznstarz50: Didnt know he was working this show but it made it better
onceandthefuture: that’s lucky
onceandthefuture: so why’re you here?
stripeznstarz50: Youre telling me
stripeznstarz50: No reason
stripeznstarz50: Cant i just miss talking to you?
onceandthefuture: well yes
onceandthefuture: I suppose you can
stripeznstarz50: :)
stripeznstarz50: Its lunch break now
onceandthefuture: please don’t tell me you’re doing your hiding in a corner thing
stripeznstarz50: Haha calm down
stripeznstarz50: I ate quick and hid in the guest trailer
onceandthefuture: for a starlet you’re terribly introverted
stripeznstarz50: For someone wo friends youre awfully concerned w my social life
onceandthefuture: I just don’t like feeling like I’m monopolising your time
stripeznstarz50: like i care
stripeznstarz50: I like you monopolizing my time C:
onceandthefuture: oh stop it
onceandthefuture: I’m nothing special
stripeznstarz50: Course you are
stripeznstarz50: Its why i like you
stripeznstarz50: Among other things
onceandthefuture: I need an ego boost in my life about now
onceandthefuture: keep going
stripeznstarz50: Uh okay
stripeznstarz50: You have pretty eyes
stripeznstarz50: And youre fun to mess with
onceandthefuture: why do people always say that
stripeznstarz50: And youre funny in a weird way
stripeznstarz50: Cause its true
onceandthefuture: it’s called British humor darling
stripeznstarz50: Yeah but its got a little you in it too
onceandthefuture: if you say so
stripeznstarz50: And i dont have to worry about offending you or grossing you out
stripeznstarz50: Thats my favorite
onceandthefuture: oh I like that too
onceandthefuture: about you I mean
stripeznstarz50: Haha yeah
stripeznstarz50: Oh what else
stripeznstarz50: Youre what i run away to when i need to run away
stripeznstarz50: I just feel really……
stripeznstarz50: Comfortable?
stripeznstarz50: Around you
stripeznstarz50: Does that make sense?
onceandthefuture: yes
onceandthefuture: it’s nice when someone puts your own feelings into words
stripeznstarz50: Hehe
stripeznstarz50: Im pretty good at that
onceandthefuture: so’m I
stripeznstarz50: Nice to know we have something in common
onceandthefuture: besides everything
stripeznstarz50: You know besides everything else
stripeznstarz50: Hehe
stripeznstarz50: Oh and you make awesome coffee
stripeznstarz50: Can never forget that
onceandthefuture: pff
onceandthefuture: that’s what I’ve become
onceandthefuture: your personal barista
stripeznstarz50: yep
stripeznstarz50: large white choc mocha stat
onceandthefuture: you’d have to pay for that
stripeznstarz50: Gladly
stripeznstarz50: Id even tip you ;)
onceandthefuture: tips are nice
stripeznstarz50: Okay gotta go
stripeznstarz50: Ill try to be on soonish
onceandthefuture: have fun love
stripeznstarz50: Ill do my best
stripeznstarz50 has signed off
Saturday, June 7, 2008
stripeznstarz50 has signed on a mobile device
stripeznstarz50: Hiding from a party
stripeznstarz50: I didnt do this nearly as much before you
onceandthefuture: I’m just a terrible influence
stripeznstarz50: Yup
stripeznstarz50: And its a terrible party
onceandthefuture: well of course
onceandthefuture: you’re in the middle of nowhere
stripeznstarz50: Yup again
stripeznstarz50: Im sitting on a pier by the lake
stripeznstarz50: The stars are really pretty
stripeznstarz50: Been a while since i could see so many
stripeznstarz50: And its been even harder to appreciate them since i got here
stripeznstarz50: Filming eating or sleeping
onceandthefuture: sounds wonderful
onceandthefuture: I let my uncle steal me for fishing this weekend
stripeznstarz50: Ooh that sounds fun
stripeznstarz50: And explains why youre up this early on a Sunday
onceandthefuture: ugh yes
onceandthefuture: getting ready for aother day of getting filthy and gross
stripeznstarz50: Hehe but its fun!
onceandthefuture: mmm
onceandthefuture: when his brothers aren’t teasing me for not wanting to take out my own hook
onceandthefuture: or about the one time I stepped wrong and half fell in
stripeznstarz50: Hehehehe
stripeznstarz50: You really have no luck w bros
onceandthefuture: damned straight
stripeznstarz50: Remind me to live somewhere i can actually see all the stars when im older
onceandthefuture: Okay
onceandthefuture: they’re calling me
stripeznstarz50: Hehe go
stripeznstarz50: Catch some fish and show them
stripeznstarz50: Dont be afraid of a little smile ;)
onceandthefuture: so you say an ocean away
stripeznstarz50: Youre lovely but youre an ocean away
onceandthefuture: I still can’t believe you remembered that enough to put it in a fucking song
stripeznstarz50: :)
stripeznstarz50: Im a man full of surprises
stripeznstarz50: Now go
onceandthefuture: mkay
onceandthefuture: enjoy your stars
onceandthefuture has signed off
Saturday, June 15, 2008
stripeznstarz50: FINALLY HOME
onceandthefuture: I thought you had an okay time
stripeznstarz50: yeah but home is better
stripeznstarz50: plus I brought Matt with me
onceandthefuture: how did you manage that?
stripeznstarz50: well he was coming down for a visit anyway with his mom
stripeznstarz50: so they took a detour and picked me up
stripeznstarz50: he wants me to clarify that
stripeznstarz50: it was ‘a miserable drive that made the already torturous journey from Ontario a day long and he might have killed an endangered species’
onceandthefuture: he’s there with you now?
stripeznstarz50: yup
stripeznstarz50: kind of exhausted but here
onceandthefuture: you should warn him about his impending company
stripeznstarz50: what?
onceandthefuture: check his phone
stripeznstarz50: no way
onceandthefuture: yes way love
onceandthefuture: I believe the term you used is ‘prepare yourself’
stripeznstarz50: did you tell him matt was here?
onceandthefuture: I only clarified
onceandthefuture: Matthew told him he was coming down days ago
stripeznstarz50: oh right
stripeznstarz50: they talk
onceandthefuture: I talk to him too
stripeznstarz50: not to the extent of this
stripeznstarz50: if it wasn’t ironclad positive that there wasn’t a gay bone in either of them I’d say they were gay for each other
onceandthefuture: you’re that sure of them?
onceandthefuture: they’re not ‘straight-ish’ like you?
stripeznstarz50: hehehehe I like that term more than I should
stripeznstarz50: but no
stripeznstarz50: Matt’s continually referred to himself as ‘straight as a Saskatchewan highway’
onceandthefuture: pfff
stripeznstarz50: and gil’s as straight as his mind is crooked
onceandthefuture: that doesn’t make sense
stripeznstarz50: yes it does
stripeznstarz50: so is gil almost here or what
onceandthefuture: not sure
onceandthefuture: he shot offline when I told him matthew was at your house
onceandthefuture: so he’ll probably be there soon?
onceandthefuture: I don’t know, I don’t know travel times around your city
stripeznstarz50: hmmmm
stripeznstarz50: better start setting up the sandbag wall
onceandthefuture: Alfred, be polite
stripeznstarz50: no
onceandthefuture: then be civil
stripeznstarz50: that’ll be hard
onceandthefuture: ugh
onceandthefuture: just don’t kill him, okay?
onceandthefuture: it’d be bad for your image
stripeznstarz50: pfff
stripeznstarz50: all right
stripeznstarz50: only for you
stripeznstarz50: and matt
stripeznstarz50: since I doubt he wants to have to bail me/us out of jail
onceandthefuture: why would he have to do that?
onceandthefuture: isn’t that what parents are for?
stripeznstarz50: mah
stripeznstarz50: nah*
stripeznstarz50: matt’s better at it
stripeznstarz50: he’s done it for his hockey friends before
stripeznstarz50: when they broke into the zoo and tried to steal a tiger cub
onceandthefuture: hahahahhahaha really?
stripeznstarz50: yep
stripeznstarz50: matt got distracted by cooing over his freaky devil demon bear so he didn’t get caught
onceandthefuture: *snorts*
stripeznstarz50: shit
stripeznstarz50: someone’s here
stripeznstarz50: brb
stripeznstarz50: yeah it’s him
stripeznstarz50: and they’re making me webcam
stripeznstarz50: you decent?
onceandthefuture: enough
stripeznstarz50: awesome
stripeznstarz50 has sent a video chat invitation
The video feed opened to an unhappy Alfred in his bedroom, sitting on the floor with his back to his bed. Behind him, Gil was half lying on top of a glasses-less, half-asleep Matt, both of them watching over Alfred’s shoulders. They all waved when Arthur appeared, forever in the dark and pajamas. He smiled faintly in response.
“What is up with you, Arthur?” Gil called loudly. Arthur winced and turned down his volume quickly.
“Not so fucking loud, I like my eardrums whole.” Gil cackled, and the cousins laughed a little. “Just keeping my roommate awake, s’all,” he answered.
“Fuck to you, too!” someone called in his background. He smirked.
Matthew scooted forward on the bed so he could rest his chin on his cousin’s head. “It’s been a while, Arthur.” Arthur’s smirk turned into a smile. “Oh, I lost a tooth since I last saw you!” The smile turned to horror as Matt opened his mouth wide to show off the empty spot where his lower left canine had been.
Arthur straightened out his grimace just before Matt straightened and grinned, letting his arms fall down over Alfred’s shoulders, who was grumbling about being furniture.
“Lovely.” He blinked a few times and frowned hard at the screen. “Alfred, I don’t think I’ve ever noticed how much you two look incredibly similar.” They both groaned, tearing away from each other. Gil was shoved to the side as Matthew rolled away, but quickly crawled to take his spot.
“I don’t get why everyone says that!” Al whined. “We don’t look alike at all!”
“Sure you do!” Gil said, never one to be left out of a conversation for too long. “You’ve got the same smile and the same hair color.” They both frowned fiercely at him, and he held his hands up. “Just sayin’.”
“I think it took me this long because I’ve never seen Matthew without his glasses,” Arthur admitted, “but without them on… you two have the same face altogether. If Matthew just had a haircut and smiled more-”
“Hey, the hair looks good! And I smile plenty!”
“-and Alfred lost a tooth and acted less like an arsehole-”
“Who would willingly lose a tooth - and Matt’s just as much of an asshole as me!”
“-Then you two could pass as twins.” They tumbled over each other in their protests while Gil laughed uproariously in the background.
“We’re nothing alike!” They finally shouted together, which just made Gil laugh even harder and Arthur look smug.
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, lads, just a fact of nature.”
“Fuck you!” they said simultaneously, then turned on each other. “Stop that!”
“This is so much better than daytime TV,” Gil sighed, only a shock of white hair visible in the shot over the dark blue bedspread.
“You can leave whenever you want,” Al snapped, not looking away from his staring contest with Matt.
Just to be contrary to Al, Matt said, “No, Gil, you can stay as long as you’d like - you’re my guest, after all.” Al’s eye started to twitch; Gil cheered and hopped off the bed, swiping the computer from Al’s lap and running away with it, giggling maniacally as Al chased him. Arthur closed his eyes to the dizzying webcam feed until he heard a slam and a click.
“Don’t break down your own bathroom door, Al!” he jeered, sitting on the closed toilet and grinning to the right of the camera. There was a loud rush of words, but it was muffled by the door and distance enough that all Arthur could make out was the shadow of a curse word.
“Sup.”
Arthur rolled his eyes with a smile. “No wonder Alfred hates you.”
“Yeah, it’s kind of a mutual thing.” The pounding stopped. “Given up already, wonderboy?” There was an indistinguishable reply, and he laughed. “Get all the coat hangers you want, it won’t help ya!”
Arthur’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Coat hangers?”
“Yeah, he said he can spring to lock from the outside with one,” Gil explained. “Don’t really see how, but hey, he wants to waste energy, let him.” He scratched his chin, looking around. “I wonder what kind of stuff he keeps in here…”
“Only one way to find out, right?”
Gil gave him a manic grin. “I really like how you think, Artie.”
“Don’t call me that!”
“Whatever, deal with it.” He stood and balanced the laptop on his forearm. “Let’s check the shower first!” He threw back the curtain and sat on the lip of the tub, putting the computer on the floor and tilting the screen up so Arthur could see his face and the side of his leg. “Let’s see…” He snorted, pulling down a gold bottle and showing it to the webcam. “Shit, son, do you use blonde hair specific shampoo?” Another indistinguishable reply. “I don’t care if your mom buys it because Feliks recommends it, it is still incredibly gay.” He put it back, then barked out another laugh. “Dude, why is all of your stuff lady-scented? Do you really make your mom buy everything for you?” He looked down at Arthur, holding up a clear bottle half-full of orange gel. “His body wash is called ‘Mango Mandarin’.” He grinned towards the door. “Yeah, it smells nice, because it smells like a woman!” There was a different indistinguishable voice, and Gil’s eternal grin sobered into fright fast. “Yes, Mrs. J. Right away, Mrs. J.” He glanced down at Arthur’s webcam and winked. “Talk to ya later,” he stage whispered as he picked the comp back up and shifted it to his forearm again.
“Tell the other two the same from me,” Arthur asked quietly.
Gil’s grin was back for a flash, and he flicked him the same two-fingered Army salute Alfred was fond of, then called, “Coming, Mrs. J!” before turning off the webcam and closing the computer.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
stripeznstarz50 has signed on a mobile device
onceandthefuture: I must admit, I didn’t expect to see you online so soon
onceandthefuture: hating it that much?
stripeznstarz50: Nah not really
stripeznstarz50: Its okay
stripeznstarz50: Young soup is here :P
stripeznstarz50: Didnt know he was working this show but it made it better
onceandthefuture: that’s lucky
onceandthefuture: so why’re you here?
stripeznstarz50: Youre telling me
stripeznstarz50: No reason
stripeznstarz50: Cant i just miss talking to you?
onceandthefuture: well yes
onceandthefuture: I suppose you can
stripeznstarz50: :)
stripeznstarz50: Its lunch break now
onceandthefuture: please don’t tell me you’re doing your hiding in a corner thing
stripeznstarz50: Haha calm down
stripeznstarz50: I ate quick and hid in the guest trailer
onceandthefuture: for a starlet you’re terribly introverted
stripeznstarz50: For someone wo friends youre awfully concerned w my social life
onceandthefuture: I just don’t like feeling like I’m monopolising your time
stripeznstarz50: like i care
stripeznstarz50: I like you monopolizing my time C:
onceandthefuture: oh stop it
onceandthefuture: I’m nothing special
stripeznstarz50: Course you are
stripeznstarz50: Its why i like you
stripeznstarz50: Among other things
onceandthefuture: I need an ego boost in my life about now
onceandthefuture: keep going
stripeznstarz50: Uh okay
stripeznstarz50: You have pretty eyes
stripeznstarz50: And youre fun to mess with
onceandthefuture: why do people always say that
stripeznstarz50: And youre funny in a weird way
stripeznstarz50: Cause its true
onceandthefuture: it’s called British humor darling
stripeznstarz50: Yeah but its got a little you in it too
onceandthefuture: if you say so
stripeznstarz50: And i dont have to worry about offending you or grossing you out
stripeznstarz50: Thats my favorite
onceandthefuture: oh I like that too
onceandthefuture: about you I mean
stripeznstarz50: Haha yeah
stripeznstarz50: Oh what else
stripeznstarz50: Youre what i run away to when i need to run away
stripeznstarz50: I just feel really……
stripeznstarz50: Comfortable?
stripeznstarz50: Around you
stripeznstarz50: Does that make sense?
onceandthefuture: yes
onceandthefuture: it’s nice when someone puts your own feelings into words
stripeznstarz50: Hehe
stripeznstarz50: Im pretty good at that
onceandthefuture: so’m I
stripeznstarz50: Nice to know we have something in common
onceandthefuture: besides everything
stripeznstarz50: You know besides everything else
stripeznstarz50: Hehe
stripeznstarz50: Oh and you make awesome coffee
stripeznstarz50: Can never forget that
onceandthefuture: pff
onceandthefuture: that’s what I’ve become
onceandthefuture: your personal barista
stripeznstarz50: yep
stripeznstarz50: large white choc mocha stat
onceandthefuture: you’d have to pay for that
stripeznstarz50: Gladly
stripeznstarz50: Id even tip you ;)
onceandthefuture: tips are nice
stripeznstarz50: Okay gotta go
stripeznstarz50: Ill try to be on soonish
onceandthefuture: have fun love
stripeznstarz50: Ill do my best
stripeznstarz50 has signed off
Saturday, June 7, 2008
stripeznstarz50 has signed on a mobile device
stripeznstarz50: Hiding from a party
stripeznstarz50: I didnt do this nearly as much before you
onceandthefuture: I’m just a terrible influence
stripeznstarz50: Yup
stripeznstarz50: And its a terrible party
onceandthefuture: well of course
onceandthefuture: you’re in the middle of nowhere
stripeznstarz50: Yup again
stripeznstarz50: Im sitting on a pier by the lake
stripeznstarz50: The stars are really pretty
stripeznstarz50: Been a while since i could see so many
stripeznstarz50: And its been even harder to appreciate them since i got here
stripeznstarz50: Filming eating or sleeping
onceandthefuture: sounds wonderful
onceandthefuture: I let my uncle steal me for fishing this weekend
stripeznstarz50: Ooh that sounds fun
stripeznstarz50: And explains why youre up this early on a Sunday
onceandthefuture: ugh yes
onceandthefuture: getting ready for aother day of getting filthy and gross
stripeznstarz50: Hehe but its fun!
onceandthefuture: mmm
onceandthefuture: when his brothers aren’t teasing me for not wanting to take out my own hook
onceandthefuture: or about the one time I stepped wrong and half fell in
stripeznstarz50: Hehehehe
stripeznstarz50: You really have no luck w bros
onceandthefuture: damned straight
stripeznstarz50: Remind me to live somewhere i can actually see all the stars when im older
onceandthefuture: Okay
onceandthefuture: they’re calling me
stripeznstarz50: Hehe go
stripeznstarz50: Catch some fish and show them
stripeznstarz50: Dont be afraid of a little smile ;)
onceandthefuture: so you say an ocean away
stripeznstarz50: Youre lovely but youre an ocean away
onceandthefuture: I still can’t believe you remembered that enough to put it in a fucking song
stripeznstarz50: :)
stripeznstarz50: Im a man full of surprises
stripeznstarz50: Now go
onceandthefuture: mkay
onceandthefuture: enjoy your stars
onceandthefuture has signed off
Saturday, June 15, 2008
stripeznstarz50: FINALLY HOME
onceandthefuture: I thought you had an okay time
stripeznstarz50: yeah but home is better
stripeznstarz50: plus I brought Matt with me
onceandthefuture: how did you manage that?
stripeznstarz50: well he was coming down for a visit anyway with his mom
stripeznstarz50: so they took a detour and picked me up
stripeznstarz50: he wants me to clarify that
stripeznstarz50: it was ‘a miserable drive that made the already torturous journey from Ontario a day long and he might have killed an endangered species’
onceandthefuture: he’s there with you now?
stripeznstarz50: yup
stripeznstarz50: kind of exhausted but here
onceandthefuture: you should warn him about his impending company
stripeznstarz50: what?
onceandthefuture: check his phone
stripeznstarz50: no way
onceandthefuture: yes way love
onceandthefuture: I believe the term you used is ‘prepare yourself’
stripeznstarz50: did you tell him matt was here?
onceandthefuture: I only clarified
onceandthefuture: Matthew told him he was coming down days ago
stripeznstarz50: oh right
stripeznstarz50: they talk
onceandthefuture: I talk to him too
stripeznstarz50: not to the extent of this
stripeznstarz50: if it wasn’t ironclad positive that there wasn’t a gay bone in either of them I’d say they were gay for each other
onceandthefuture: you’re that sure of them?
onceandthefuture: they’re not ‘straight-ish’ like you?
stripeznstarz50: hehehehe I like that term more than I should
stripeznstarz50: but no
stripeznstarz50: Matt’s continually referred to himself as ‘straight as a Saskatchewan highway’
onceandthefuture: pfff
stripeznstarz50: and gil’s as straight as his mind is crooked
onceandthefuture: that doesn’t make sense
stripeznstarz50: yes it does
stripeznstarz50: so is gil almost here or what
onceandthefuture: not sure
onceandthefuture: he shot offline when I told him matthew was at your house
onceandthefuture: so he’ll probably be there soon?
onceandthefuture: I don’t know, I don’t know travel times around your city
stripeznstarz50: hmmmm
stripeznstarz50: better start setting up the sandbag wall
onceandthefuture: Alfred, be polite
stripeznstarz50: no
onceandthefuture: then be civil
stripeznstarz50: that’ll be hard
onceandthefuture: ugh
onceandthefuture: just don’t kill him, okay?
onceandthefuture: it’d be bad for your image
stripeznstarz50: pfff
stripeznstarz50: all right
stripeznstarz50: only for you
stripeznstarz50: and matt
stripeznstarz50: since I doubt he wants to have to bail me/us out of jail
onceandthefuture: why would he have to do that?
onceandthefuture: isn’t that what parents are for?
stripeznstarz50: mah
stripeznstarz50: nah*
stripeznstarz50: matt’s better at it
stripeznstarz50: he’s done it for his hockey friends before
stripeznstarz50: when they broke into the zoo and tried to steal a tiger cub
onceandthefuture: hahahahhahaha really?
stripeznstarz50: yep
stripeznstarz50: matt got distracted by cooing over his freaky devil demon bear so he didn’t get caught
onceandthefuture: *snorts*
stripeznstarz50: shit
stripeznstarz50: someone’s here
stripeznstarz50: brb
stripeznstarz50: yeah it’s him
stripeznstarz50: and they’re making me webcam
stripeznstarz50: you decent?
onceandthefuture: enough
stripeznstarz50: awesome
stripeznstarz50 has sent a video chat invitation
The video feed opened to an unhappy Alfred in his bedroom, sitting on the floor with his back to his bed. Behind him, Gil was half lying on top of a glasses-less, half-asleep Matt, both of them watching over Alfred’s shoulders. They all waved when Arthur appeared, forever in the dark and pajamas. He smiled faintly in response.
“What is up with you, Arthur?” Gil called loudly. Arthur winced and turned down his volume quickly.
“Not so fucking loud, I like my eardrums whole.” Gil cackled, and the cousins laughed a little. “Just keeping my roommate awake, s’all,” he answered.
“Fuck to you, too!” someone called in his background. He smirked.
Matthew scooted forward on the bed so he could rest his chin on his cousin’s head. “It’s been a while, Arthur.” Arthur’s smirk turned into a smile. “Oh, I lost a tooth since I last saw you!” The smile turned to horror as Matt opened his mouth wide to show off the empty spot where his lower left canine had been.
Arthur straightened out his grimace just before Matt straightened and grinned, letting his arms fall down over Alfred’s shoulders, who was grumbling about being furniture.
“Lovely.” He blinked a few times and frowned hard at the screen. “Alfred, I don’t think I’ve ever noticed how much you two look incredibly similar.” They both groaned, tearing away from each other. Gil was shoved to the side as Matthew rolled away, but quickly crawled to take his spot.
“I don’t get why everyone says that!” Al whined. “We don’t look alike at all!”
“Sure you do!” Gil said, never one to be left out of a conversation for too long. “You’ve got the same smile and the same hair color.” They both frowned fiercely at him, and he held his hands up. “Just sayin’.”
“I think it took me this long because I’ve never seen Matthew without his glasses,” Arthur admitted, “but without them on… you two have the same face altogether. If Matthew just had a haircut and smiled more-”
“Hey, the hair looks good! And I smile plenty!”
“-and Alfred lost a tooth and acted less like an arsehole-”
“Who would willingly lose a tooth - and Matt’s just as much of an asshole as me!”
“-Then you two could pass as twins.” They tumbled over each other in their protests while Gil laughed uproariously in the background.
“We’re nothing alike!” They finally shouted together, which just made Gil laugh even harder and Arthur look smug.
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, lads, just a fact of nature.”
“Fuck you!” they said simultaneously, then turned on each other. “Stop that!”
“This is so much better than daytime TV,” Gil sighed, only a shock of white hair visible in the shot over the dark blue bedspread.
“You can leave whenever you want,” Al snapped, not looking away from his staring contest with Matt.
Just to be contrary to Al, Matt said, “No, Gil, you can stay as long as you’d like - you’re my guest, after all.” Al’s eye started to twitch; Gil cheered and hopped off the bed, swiping the computer from Al’s lap and running away with it, giggling maniacally as Al chased him. Arthur closed his eyes to the dizzying webcam feed until he heard a slam and a click.
“Don’t break down your own bathroom door, Al!” he jeered, sitting on the closed toilet and grinning to the right of the camera. There was a loud rush of words, but it was muffled by the door and distance enough that all Arthur could make out was the shadow of a curse word.
“Sup.”
Arthur rolled his eyes with a smile. “No wonder Alfred hates you.”
“Yeah, it’s kind of a mutual thing.” The pounding stopped. “Given up already, wonderboy?” There was an indistinguishable reply, and he laughed. “Get all the coat hangers you want, it won’t help ya!”
Arthur’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Coat hangers?”
“Yeah, he said he can spring to lock from the outside with one,” Gil explained. “Don’t really see how, but hey, he wants to waste energy, let him.” He scratched his chin, looking around. “I wonder what kind of stuff he keeps in here…”
“Only one way to find out, right?”
Gil gave him a manic grin. “I really like how you think, Artie.”
“Don’t call me that!”
“Whatever, deal with it.” He stood and balanced the laptop on his forearm. “Let’s check the shower first!” He threw back the curtain and sat on the lip of the tub, putting the computer on the floor and tilting the screen up so Arthur could see his face and the side of his leg. “Let’s see…” He snorted, pulling down a gold bottle and showing it to the webcam. “Shit, son, do you use blonde hair specific shampoo?” Another indistinguishable reply. “I don’t care if your mom buys it because Feliks recommends it, it is still incredibly gay.” He put it back, then barked out another laugh. “Dude, why is all of your stuff lady-scented? Do you really make your mom buy everything for you?” He looked down at Arthur, holding up a clear bottle half-full of orange gel. “His body wash is called ‘Mango Mandarin’.” He grinned towards the door. “Yeah, it smells nice, because it smells like a woman!” There was a different indistinguishable voice, and Gil’s eternal grin sobered into fright fast. “Yes, Mrs. J. Right away, Mrs. J.” He glanced down at Arthur’s webcam and winked. “Talk to ya later,” he stage whispered as he picked the comp back up and shifted it to his forearm again.
“Tell the other two the same from me,” Arthur asked quietly.
Gil’s grin was back for a flash, and he flicked him the same two-fingered Army salute Alfred was fond of, then called, “Coming, Mrs. J!” before turning off the webcam and closing the computer.