App Post
Character: Taikoubou
Series: Houshin Engi
Character Age: Early eighties (physically 17)
Canon: Following in the steps of Suikoden and Saiyuki, Houshin Engi is loosely based on an ancient Chinese novel that, wonders of wonder, actually takes place in Ancient China. Albeit a China populated by humans and Sennin (superhuman beings) where people wear shoes the length of a torso, science fiction lurks in every corner, and the fourth wall is constantly broken.
Enter Taikoubou, main character and military strategist of the Good Guys TM, peach-lover, and lazy, crazy Sennin extraordinaire. But all this belies the fact that Taikoubou may in fact be a genius with an ability to plan and foresee unlike any other. It's a difficult thing to believe though when the man who holds the fate of China in his hands is busy stealing fruit, pretending to join the enemy, kicking people off of towers, and getting beat up far too many times than a genius should. But underneath all the eccentricities is deep wisdom and unhesitating self-sacrifice.
Note: Taikoubou is being apped from approximately volume 20.
Sample Post:
--ah. It took far too long to lose all those officials. I don't want anything to do with all their paperwork and bills on capitol hills. Which means it's impromptu camping trip time! After all, the great outdoors is like the parlor of the world! There's nothing quite like taking it easy in the great outdoors while everyone else sweats and slaves. Now, they say home is where the hearts is, so I guess I should start with shelter. These polka-dotted leaves will make a great floor... I can use some of these funny fake pink birds to make things feel more lively... some sticks and these rotting arms will make do for the--
Rotting arms?
...
AUGH THERE ARE LEPERS IN MY WOODPILE GET THEM OUT GET THEM OUT! THEY ARE TRYING TO ASSIMILATE ME INTO THEIR LEPERACIOUS WAYS! Stop stop! I need those kneecaps--! And you! Don't touch those peaches. They don't look like brains at all. If anything, they look a little like bottoms.
Ugh. An army is one thing, but a pack of shambling, rapidly deteriorating lepers is another thing altogether. It's like herding cats or tiny children, and I'm far too young looking to be a father to kids or kittens! At least the trails of skin and fingers make it easy to see where they've been. I'm beginning to wonder what all the hype about living in peace with nature is about. This isn't peaceful or natural at all. Okay. Fine. I, Taikoubou, am going to have to take matters into my own hands and whip these wilting pansies into shape. Your first assignment is to start digging a fire pit, sweep the camping area, start cooking dinn--
Scratch that. Your first assignment is to not make lewd comments about the relation between the size of my shoes and certain parts of my anatomy.
Voting went here. 84.0% wh-what.