oo1. action.

[hotfrombehind]

[Six am. Dawn, a time when the desert isn't so hot and there aren't as many creatures milling about.

With a yawn, Pyro starts sitting up. He stretches his back, then his arms. Well, that's odd. He's sure he has burns all up his arms. Where'd they go? And... Well, fuck. What's up with this bed? It's so big and clean and holy fuck there's someone

Comments

[Action] Street somewhere!

[snipingmissy]

[Hawkeye was wide awake by now, and out for a walk. She decided that first thing this morning she would see about procuring a firearm, which was going to have to be done on her way to work. It was taking monumental amounts of self-control to not try and undo the starched nurses' cap on her head, and she found herself with a renewed appreciation of the women who worked in the hospitals at home.

She saw him sprinting down the street, and crossed her arms over the starched apron of her uniform.]

May I help you?

[hotfrombehind]

The fuck is a nurse doing out here?

[He approaches her slowly and runs a hand over his mouth before speaking.] Yeah, yeah, maybe you can. You know what the fuck is going on here? I mean, this morning I just woke up in this goddamn, quaint-ass neighborhood. I've never seen your mug before and god knows they don't let anyone outside into the base.

[snipingmissy]

I am walking to work, if you must know. We don't live in the hospital.

[She holds her hands in front of her to calm him down, at least a bit. At least he hasn't hit anyone yet, that was an improvement on her behavior. She caught him mention a base, and presumes he is referring to a military one. ] You are in Mayfield--and not on any sort of a military base, sir. Acting out seems to get people in trouble, so it may be in your best interest to calm down. I'll explain what I know and help you if I can, but I've only been here for a few days myself.

[hotfrombehind]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but we don't fucking have hospitals. We have Medic.

Calm down? The fuck has time to calm down? [He glances away for a monent ad he begins to tap his foot.] Mayfield, huh? Yeah, yeah, tell me what you know. That'd be fucking fantastic.

[freakinblur]

[So here's a sight for you, Pyro. There's your Scout! Except he's not dressed in his usual BLU clothes. He's dressed in a police uniform. He's leaned up against a lamp post, drinking a coffee and looking monumentally bored, until a guy starts running his way screaming.]

[hotfrombehind]

You! [He rushes up to Scout, bouncing on the balls of his feet.] Scout, Scout, Scout, Scout. Tell me you're not up to this, I know you can do better than this. Besides, you wouldn't take my suit, right? No, not you, but-- hmm, well, maybe, you were always curious about what was underneath. But still, you gotta let me know what's going on, man!

[freakinblur]

[Scout blinks at him for a moment, trying to process everything he just said.]

Whoa, whoa, hold up!! Pyro?!

[hotfrombehind]

Yeah, yeah! That's right, this is what's under the suit. [He smirks.] I mean, now I'm forced to wear this fucking fancy-ass jacket and tie suit, but this is me.

And what's up with you, man? Police uniform? Real slick, but man, I can recognize your face real easy. Especially the, uh-- [With a grin, he gestures to his front teeth.]

[hotfrombehind]

Hey! Hey you!

[He runs up to Sniper. When he's close enough, he squints at the man's face.] Hey man, nice sideburns, you really remind me of-- hey, wait!

[He waves his arms around.] You're Sniper! Hey, man, hey, this-- [He laughs.] You in on this fucking joke? I mean, what the fuck is up with all these damn houses, and this fucking-- you know, those goddamn pictures with me and some lady? And my suit? Where the fuck is that? This is real stupid, man, you gotta tell me what's going on.

[hotfrombehind]

[Pyro opens his mouth, but closes it again upon consideration. Get all the details possible and have to sit through so much idle talking, or miss out on some and have time to bounce around some more?

Hmm.] The long one, I guess, since none of this makes any fucking sense to me, man. Fucking crazy shit going on if this isn't some shitty joke.

Dawn? Oh for the love a'mike...

[ooeeooahah]

[ Welcome to Mayfield. Your assigned spouse is most definitely not a morning person. She's going to sleep through most of your panic attack, dragging awake when you start shouting on the front lawn. ]

Mph? Who's bleedin'?

[ When she focuses on the wedding photo on the dresser, she frowns, and gets up to get dressed. Unfortunately, Ilsa really isn't that together when she first wakes up, and by the time she's dressed, the new "mate" has taken off down the street. ]

[ When he eventually comes back, she's making breakfast. ]

The early bird gets the worm, so on so forth.

[hotfrombehind]

[Pyro smells coffee and goddamn you really don't want to get him near that stuff. He practically dives for it despite the fact that's it's stationary and in a mug sitting on the dining room table.

Once he's downed a few scathing gulps of the black coffee, he looks up to take a look at his not-wife from across the room.] Morning!

[Sniffs the air.]Been a while since I've had someone make breakfast in a place I live in. Does that mean I get some, too? 'Cause I guess I could try making some for myself, no big deal, just put stuff over that controlled flame over there, but you know, I guess you're my "wife" and all that, so I thought maybe you'd be cooking for me.

[ooeeooahah]

Maybe.

[ She raises an eyebrow and continues plating up several things. ]

Did you get the pamphlet while you were out?

[hotfrombehind]

[Contemplates as he drinks more coffee. When he puts the mug down, he begins to tap his foot against the leg of a table.] Uh. Uuuhhhh. Oh! Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I did, I actually did.

[He pulls out Riza's notes from his pockets.] Yeah, yeah, totally. Some nurse lady gave me this stuff, but she's not actually a nurse, she's from the army like me. This shit's still pretty fucked up, though. I mean, I feel especially bad for you, miss, seeing as you have to pretend to be my fucking wife and all.

/why didn't I see this before

[paintme_crimson]

[Pyro will get Mokou hanging in a nearby tree, upside-down.]

It's not a joke, unfortunately.

[hotfrombehind]

[He yelps when he's addressed by someone hanging in a fucking tree.]

Jesus fuck! The fuck are you doing up there in a fucking tree?

You fucking sure about that? This is real fucked up shit, this can't be anything else but some stupid prank that my teammates have pulled. Even if it's real complicated, it still doesn't make any goddamn sense.

[paintme_crimson]

[She just frowns.]

I'm scouting out my surroundings, thanks.

And nope. It's some sort of kidnapping ploy in the olden Outside World or something. Gotta conform or you'll get zombified. Don't drink the milk.

[hotfrombehind]

[He opens his mouth to give a retort, but hey that's not actual evil or anything. She gets a nod for that one.]

"Olden Outside World"? What the fuck are you even saying? The kidnapping I get, they even robbed me, but the rest of the shit that's coming outta your mouth is nonsense.