jumpity jump
Title: 5 times JUMP wondered if Inoo was a girl + 1 time they got him naked and realized he wasn’t
Author: hotfruits
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Nope
Summary: As the title says, lol~
written for the inoo-thon
One
“It doesn’t make sense, he’s just so,” Hikaru tilted his head to side, brows pulled together.
“Pretty?” Yabu offered, and Hikaru nodded, straightening up in his chair.
“He’s probably the prettiest guy in the world,” Takaki said absent-mindedly, his attention focused on getting the black nail polish off of his nails.
“Maybe he really is a girl,” Daiki chuckled, and Hikaru gasped, eyes widening while Yabu smacked Daiki over the back of the head, saying, “Dumbass, you’re going to give Hikaru ideas,” the same time Hikaru shouted, “IT ALL MAKES SENSE.”
Takaki snickered, brushing off the remnants of the black nail polish from his thumb.
Two
“So then Hikaru shows up,” Yamada begins to say as he rifles through the shirts, looking for his size, “And he’s all, ‘Inoo-chan is really a girl!’ and I’m just thinking, what the fuck does BEST smoke when they’re not around us.”
“I bet it’s awesome,” Chinen whispers, his eyes big with wonder until Yamada coughs, glaring at him. “I mean, wow, Hikaru is weird, hah,” Chinen chuckles awkwardly, before running off and hiding behind a close rack.
“His theory isn’t totally insane,” Keito comes over, a pair of jeans slung over his arm, “Inoo has the prettiest, most feminine hands ever. He makes my mom’s hands look like a dude's, and she’s an ex-model.”
Yamada raised a brow at this, and Keito shrugged, heading towards the dressing room.
Three
“Have you been hearing the rumors?” Yuto whispers into Ryutaro’s ear, causing the younger boy to shiver and look up at him with a glare.
“What rumors?” Ryutaro asked, unable to deny his curiosity.
“Apparently,” Yuto looked over his shoulder, making sure they were alone, “Inoo is really a girl, that’s why he’s so pretty.”
Ryutaro hummed under his breath, turning back towards his magazine, “Hmm, that must be why he’s a lying bitch too.”
Four
Takaki sighed, resting his head in his hands as he watched Hikaru flail around, their newest magazine issue clutched in his hand.
“DO YOU SEE THIS?!” Hikaru thrusted the magazine into Keito’s face, “SEE HOW PRETTY HE IS?!”
“You’re pretty too,” Keito responds, and then pauses, “Well, kind of,” he coughed, “Sometimes.”
Chinen giggled at this, while Daiki laughed loudly, slapping his knee and applauding Keito from the other side of the room.
“BESIDE THE POINT!” Hikaru shouted, his left eye twitching, “INOO IS A GIRL!”
“Um, can I just say something?” Takaki asks rhetorically, raising his hand in the air, “If Inoo was a girl, wouldn’t he have breasts?”
Hikaru splutters at this, his hands waving in the air, causing the magazine to fly out of his hands and smack Keito in the face.
“Not necessarily,” Chinen pipes up, “Some girls don’t really get breasts, sometimes due to genetics, but in this current era, girls are thinner and thinner than ever. It’s tragic, really,” Chinen sighed, shaking his head.
“Poor bulimic girly Inoo-chan,” Hikaru sniffled, and Keito groans from the floor, his nose bleeding.
Five
The door slams open, and Yabu strides in, his shoulders shaking as he walks towards the couch in the room and flops onto it with an angry sigh.
“Hikaru?” Yamada asks, receiving a disgruntled ‘that bastard!’ in response.
“What did he do this time?” Yuto goes over to Yabu and sits beside him, patting his back.
“He’s convinced himself that Inoo is a bulimic girl who became a Johnny’s to fulfill her lifelong dream of being an idol, because, for some reason, he couldn’t join H!P,” Yabu shakes his head, “That guy, I swear.”
“Inoo is a little too butch for H!P, I think,” Ryutaro comments, ignoring the glare Yabu sends him, “Those girls are obviously very girly. Inoo,” Ryutaro pauses, scratching his ear, “There’s some debate there.”
Yabu groans, leaning back into the couch and Yuto begins to pet his hair.
“We need to prove to Hikaru, once and for all, that Inoo is a boy,” Yamada says, and Yabu leans back up, his brows raised curiously.
“How do we do that?” Yuto asks, but Yamada is already out the door, dragging a protesting Ryutaro with him.
+1
“We’re going to what now?!” Yabu shouts, after Yamada finishes telling him the plan.
“Isn’t that rape?” Daiki asks, and Takaki nods at this, but Yamada quickly shakes his head.
“No, it’s not. We’re just going to grab Inoo, strip him, see if he has a vagina or not, and then we’ll finally have our answers.”
Daiki glances over at Takaki, and then back to Yamada, “If we get sued for rape, I’m telling the judge you threatened to kill me.” Takaki hums in agreement.
“We’ll be fine,” Yamada brushes off their concerns with a wave, and then Ryutaro shushes him, signaling the group that Inoo is around the corner.
The group gets quiet, and when the door opens, they pounce, eighteen pairs of hands reaching for Inoo’s pants and tugging them off, along with his underwear. Inoo tries to fight them off, but fails, falling onto the ground after someone tugs on his penis and he covers himself, shrieking, “WHAT THE HELL?!”
“Told you he was a boy!” Yabu smacks Hikaru over the back of the head, hard, and then hands Inoo his pants before storming out of the room. Takaki and Daiki follow, avoiding Inoo’s scandalous expression.
“Sorry,” Chinen gently apologizes, dropping Inoo’s underwear into his lap before following the others, Keito, Yamada and Yuto trailing after him.
“Um,” Hikaru coughs, looking anywhere but at Inoo, “I’m sorry?”
Inoo growls, standing up so that he can quickly redress himself, and then he tackles Hikaru to the ground, ignoring his cries of pain as he kicks the hell out of Hikaru’s ass.
And that’s how JUMP figured out that Inoo wasn’t a girl.
The End.
Author: hotfruits
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Nope
Summary: As the title says, lol~
written for the inoo-thon
One
“It doesn’t make sense, he’s just so,” Hikaru tilted his head to side, brows pulled together.
“Pretty?” Yabu offered, and Hikaru nodded, straightening up in his chair.
“He’s probably the prettiest guy in the world,” Takaki said absent-mindedly, his attention focused on getting the black nail polish off of his nails.
“Maybe he really is a girl,” Daiki chuckled, and Hikaru gasped, eyes widening while Yabu smacked Daiki over the back of the head, saying, “Dumbass, you’re going to give Hikaru ideas,” the same time Hikaru shouted, “IT ALL MAKES SENSE.”
Takaki snickered, brushing off the remnants of the black nail polish from his thumb.
Two
“So then Hikaru shows up,” Yamada begins to say as he rifles through the shirts, looking for his size, “And he’s all, ‘Inoo-chan is really a girl!’ and I’m just thinking, what the fuck does BEST smoke when they’re not around us.”
“I bet it’s awesome,” Chinen whispers, his eyes big with wonder until Yamada coughs, glaring at him. “I mean, wow, Hikaru is weird, hah,” Chinen chuckles awkwardly, before running off and hiding behind a close rack.
“His theory isn’t totally insane,” Keito comes over, a pair of jeans slung over his arm, “Inoo has the prettiest, most feminine hands ever. He makes my mom’s hands look like a dude's, and she’s an ex-model.”
Yamada raised a brow at this, and Keito shrugged, heading towards the dressing room.
Three
“Have you been hearing the rumors?” Yuto whispers into Ryutaro’s ear, causing the younger boy to shiver and look up at him with a glare.
“What rumors?” Ryutaro asked, unable to deny his curiosity.
“Apparently,” Yuto looked over his shoulder, making sure they were alone, “Inoo is really a girl, that’s why he’s so pretty.”
Ryutaro hummed under his breath, turning back towards his magazine, “Hmm, that must be why he’s a lying bitch too.”
Four
Takaki sighed, resting his head in his hands as he watched Hikaru flail around, their newest magazine issue clutched in his hand.
“DO YOU SEE THIS?!” Hikaru thrusted the magazine into Keito’s face, “SEE HOW PRETTY HE IS?!”
“You’re pretty too,” Keito responds, and then pauses, “Well, kind of,” he coughed, “Sometimes.”
Chinen giggled at this, while Daiki laughed loudly, slapping his knee and applauding Keito from the other side of the room.
“BESIDE THE POINT!” Hikaru shouted, his left eye twitching, “INOO IS A GIRL!”
“Um, can I just say something?” Takaki asks rhetorically, raising his hand in the air, “If Inoo was a girl, wouldn’t he have breasts?”
Hikaru splutters at this, his hands waving in the air, causing the magazine to fly out of his hands and smack Keito in the face.
“Not necessarily,” Chinen pipes up, “Some girls don’t really get breasts, sometimes due to genetics, but in this current era, girls are thinner and thinner than ever. It’s tragic, really,” Chinen sighed, shaking his head.
“Poor bulimic girly Inoo-chan,” Hikaru sniffled, and Keito groans from the floor, his nose bleeding.
Five
The door slams open, and Yabu strides in, his shoulders shaking as he walks towards the couch in the room and flops onto it with an angry sigh.
“Hikaru?” Yamada asks, receiving a disgruntled ‘that bastard!’ in response.
“What did he do this time?” Yuto goes over to Yabu and sits beside him, patting his back.
“He’s convinced himself that Inoo is a bulimic girl who became a Johnny’s to fulfill her lifelong dream of being an idol, because, for some reason, he couldn’t join H!P,” Yabu shakes his head, “That guy, I swear.”
“Inoo is a little too butch for H!P, I think,” Ryutaro comments, ignoring the glare Yabu sends him, “Those girls are obviously very girly. Inoo,” Ryutaro pauses, scratching his ear, “There’s some debate there.”
Yabu groans, leaning back into the couch and Yuto begins to pet his hair.
“We need to prove to Hikaru, once and for all, that Inoo is a boy,” Yamada says, and Yabu leans back up, his brows raised curiously.
“How do we do that?” Yuto asks, but Yamada is already out the door, dragging a protesting Ryutaro with him.
+1
“We’re going to what now?!” Yabu shouts, after Yamada finishes telling him the plan.
“Isn’t that rape?” Daiki asks, and Takaki nods at this, but Yamada quickly shakes his head.
“No, it’s not. We’re just going to grab Inoo, strip him, see if he has a vagina or not, and then we’ll finally have our answers.”
Daiki glances over at Takaki, and then back to Yamada, “If we get sued for rape, I’m telling the judge you threatened to kill me.” Takaki hums in agreement.
“We’ll be fine,” Yamada brushes off their concerns with a wave, and then Ryutaro shushes him, signaling the group that Inoo is around the corner.
The group gets quiet, and when the door opens, they pounce, eighteen pairs of hands reaching for Inoo’s pants and tugging them off, along with his underwear. Inoo tries to fight them off, but fails, falling onto the ground after someone tugs on his penis and he covers himself, shrieking, “WHAT THE HELL?!”
“Told you he was a boy!” Yabu smacks Hikaru over the back of the head, hard, and then hands Inoo his pants before storming out of the room. Takaki and Daiki follow, avoiding Inoo’s scandalous expression.
“Sorry,” Chinen gently apologizes, dropping Inoo’s underwear into his lap before following the others, Keito, Yamada and Yuto trailing after him.
“Um,” Hikaru coughs, looking anywhere but at Inoo, “I’m sorry?”
Inoo growls, standing up so that he can quickly redress himself, and then he tackles Hikaru to the ground, ignoring his cries of pain as he kicks the hell out of Hikaru’s ass.
And that’s how JUMP figured out that Inoo wasn’t a girl.
The End.