The NeW Profile (May 6 2004 - December 14)
The Profile: Where only the CREAM of the Crop is Remembered.
Do You Have What It Takes?
KerrAiken: WHAT ABOUT MINE?!!?! >:o
roarimaraptor: what about yours
KerrAiken: the lust in my eyes
roarimaraptor: your eyes are only blobs of green paint to me
in a roflcopter: my mom makes me set up the nativity every year
in a roflcopter: and im like "oh yea..sure..*organizes*
Dolfin4946: Slow motion for me
KerrAiken: oh I'll spread lotion for you
Dolfin4946: thkjrgljflgljfg YOU'LL SPREAD LOTION FOR ME? *dies*
nosuchthing10387: rose...i miss qaf...my life needs to be gayed up..and w/o you here it's not happening
KerrAiken: i'm sorry
KerrAiken: i'm not watching, i'm thinking about Clay in a black speedo absentminded while John runs out flailing his arms screaming TAME WALDO!
roarimaraptor: we were gonna go to a porn shop in vegas.... it's a huge place called "Adult Supermarket"
roarimaraptor: but we didn't go
KerrAiken: ok, i saw "huge place" and i thought it said "huge buldge" and then you wrote Adult and i thought it said "Aiken Supermarket"
roarimaraptor: HAHAHAHAHAHA!
roarimaraptor: huge buldge
KerrAiken: mmmmm measure of a man aol sessions and clay cries omg maybe it's me that cries omg mmmm
Sushi Denim: Holy sweet dear Jesus that made no sense whatsoever.
in a roflcopter: if jesus saw clay he'd turn gay
KerrAiken: assfuck
in a roflcopter: whoa
in a roflcopter: ass fuck
KerrAiken: lol
in a roflcopter: thats very gay porn like
KerrAiken: of course, it cam out of me
in a roflcopter: naturally
KerrAiken: i pwn all
KerrAiken: wheres my peen?
in a roflcopter: up johns butt
in a roflcopter: WTF CLAY YOU KNOW YOU'RE SEXY
in a roflcopter: he is such. a little shit.
in a roflcopter: On why so many women are so crazy about him:
It's my musk, I think. Make sure you quote me on that.
KerrAiken: that reminds me of the wanking we were talking about earlier
KerrAiken: why couldn't the day have ended there when I was happy?
in a roflcopter: do you think clay makes fun of the slashers 8)
KerrAiken: i think he thinks it shot
KerrAiken: Mondays will be hard
KerrAiken: That's what Clay said to his peen
in a roflcopter: ...:-(.
in a roflcopter: lmao
KerrAiken: hahaha
KerrAiken: coz Sunday
KerrAiken: he has to hold off
KerrAiken: coz that's gods day
KerrAiken: so he says to his peen, Mondays will be hard
in a roflcopter: LOL
KerrAiken: HAHAHAHA
in a roflcopter: gross though
in a roflcopter: t
in a roflcopter: i wont share
KerrAiken: what?
KerrAiken: share?
in a roflcopter: no you'll hate me
KerrAiken: WHAT
in a roflcopter: i dont care about going to hell im already going
KerrAiken: :-(
KerrAiken: what are we talking about?
in a roflcopter: clay thinks about *** while ****ing ***
KerrAiken: thinks about who?
in a roflcopter: :-(.
KerrAiken: God?
in a roflcopter: :-(
in a roflcopter: :-(
KerrAiken: OMG
in a roflcopter: :-(
in a roflcopter: :-(
KerrAiken: OMG
in a roflcopter: :-(
in a roflcopter: :-(
in a roflcopter: :-(
in a roflcopter: :-(
in a roflcopter: :-(
in a roflcopter: :-(
in a roflcopter: :-(
KerrAiken: OMG
KerrAiken: OGM
KerrAiken: I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING
in a roflcopter: IM FIRST IN LINE TO HELL
Iniquity_: My job pwns. Well, until I encounter drunken rapists and then I quit :)
roarimaraptor: What if the drunken rapist was Clay? I bet you won't be quitting then. You'll be like "No. Clay. Don't. Stop. To the left. Knock if off. Faster. Help. Get off of me. Don't stop."
in a roflcopter: clays birthday is soon
in a roflcopter: 26.
KerrAiken: it si not
KerrAiken: soon
in a roflcopter: YES
in a roflcopter: LIKE
KerrAiken: no it is not
in a roflcopter: THREE MONTHS
KerrAiken: that's not soon
in a roflcopter: yes it is
KerrAiken: no
in a roflcopter: its better than 5 months
KerrAiken: stfu
in a roflcopter: lmao
in a roflcopter: i wish he grew backwards
in a roflcopter: 26..then 27, then 28, then 29, then 30!
KerrAiken: yes
KerrAiken: you can count
in a roflcopter: STFU
KerrAiken: DIES
KerrAiken: LAUGHING
KerrAiken: ROFLLLLL
KerrAiken: HAHAHAHAH
in a roflcopter: omg
in a roflcopter: the profile is calling
KerrAiken: no
in a roflcopter: ring ring
in a roflcopter: hello
KerrAiken: i don't hear the ring
in a roflcopter: this is the profile
in a roflcopter: yes
KerrAiken: LOL
in a roflcopter: what do you want profile
in a roflcopter: profile says PUT THIS CONVO IN ME
in a roflcopter: *inserts convo*
KerrAiken: *can't type laughing*
in a roflcopter: hehehe im giggling like a schoolgirl
in a roflcopter: or clay
in a roflcopter: same thing
roarimaraptor: tell her to keep her nachos... i don't eat nachos with pussys
KerrAiken: as much as i really really want to belive, coz i realy really do, i just can't bring myself to 100% of the time know that he's 100% there for sho
Dolfin4946: whwere else would he be?
Dolfin4946: on vacation?
KerrAiken: LOL
KerrAiken: omg why am i cracking up?
Dolfin4946: cause it was funny
KerrAiken: it really was
in a roflcopter: tHE PRAYERS WORKED---ONLY A FEW DROPS OF RAIN---HARDLY NOTICEABLE--BEAUTIFUL NIGHT!!! BEAUTIFUL MAN!!!
BEAUTIFUL MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hE JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER AND BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE THIS MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GOD LOVES THIS MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HE IS A GIFT FROM ABOVE!!!
HE LOOKS LIKE A CHOIRE BOY ON A CHRISTMAS CARD!!!
HE MUST HAVE 3 LUNGS---THE VOLUME, THE LONG NOTES AND EVERYTHING IN-BETWEEN!!!!!!!!!!
THE SUMMER SKY AND OUR DARLING GUY DRESSED IN BLUE UNDER THOSE LIGHTS! SO CONFIDENT---LOVING WHAT HE IS DOING! LOVING US WITH HIS GIFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PERFECTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
KerrAiken: hahahahaha
KerrAiken: omg
in a roflcopter: three lungs
in a roflcopter: she plans on stealing one
in a roflcopter: cos shes old rofl
KerrAiken: jlkadsfjksldjlksd
KerrAiken: DEAD
KerrAiken: HAHAHAHA
Dolfin4946: evberytime i say clay media
Dolfin4946: I think chlamydia
Dolfin4946: lmao
KerrAiken: mmm Claymidia, i'll take it
Dolfin4946: LMAO
Dolfin4946: do you have claymidia?
Dolfin4946: dies
KerrAiken: i do
KerrAiken: a strong case
in a roflcopter: okay of clay said to you :O you can do 1 thing to me..anything you want WHAT WOULD ROSE DO WWRD
in a roflcopter: W.W.R.D? that needs to be a BRACELET for all our porny needs
in a roflcopter: AAAAAAAHHHHHH MAKE IT STOP
in a roflcopter: *jaw drops*
in a roflcopter: this
in a roflcopter: is like
in a roflcopter: CHURCH
KerrAiken: umyes
in a roflcopter: am..am i in church?
in a roflcopter: WHERES DA HOLY WATER
in a roflcopter: in da name of da father and da son ppl!
KerrAiken: umm you've ogone seriously insane
in a roflcopter: WHERES THE WHITE ROUND PLASTIC BREAD I NEED TO EAT
in a roflcopter: AM I OLD ENOUGH FOR DA WINE >_>
KerrAiken: o...m...g
In the tune of "Daydream Believer" by the Monkees
twisby3: Oh, you could try sodomy
Or get a blow job out of me
Just think of all the pleasure that could bring.
After sex, have some class,
Wipe the lube out of my ass.
Your cock is long and hard and it stings.
Hand job me again
we don‘t have to bang.
it’s a semen reliever
And a hard, cuming wang
roarimaraptor: i was reading an interview and he was like "i make rash judgements" and i was like "yeah, every morning when you get dressed"
seacrest r: *clears his throat* The eggs benedict are good
KerrAiken: *yes that's what i was going to say, but i couldn't spell it so i got scared and just siad eggs*
Dolfin4946: I don't wanna go to work
KerrAiken: call in sick? lol
KerrAiken: be like "omg my arm got amputated yesterday!"
Dolfin4946: LMAo
Dolfin4946: and then they stuck it back on maybe?
KerrAiken: ohhh oorrrr
KerrAiken: i got it
KerrAiken: "Hey, just calling to say I'll be in today...OMG OWWW my arm just got sawed off! I'll be in tomorrow!"
Dolfin4946: LMAO STOP
KerrAiken: srry
Tracy 12 sb: my sis thinks ur sexy
KerrAiken: um
KerrAiken: remember how I said I wasn't Clay Aiken?
in a roflcopter: i just laughed and now im all tingly
KerrAiken: your whole body is falling asleep
in a roflcopter: its a good tingly
KerrAiken: ut oh
KerrAiken: that's a whole other area...
KerrAiken: *gets out chalk board images of man and woman* When you grow up, you reach a stage in your life when you have new feelings *adjusts teacher glasses*
in a roflcopter: lmfao
in a roflcopter: you mean how i wanna do clay aiken? ooooh i see. NOT THAT KIND OF GOOD TINGLY YOU IDIOT
Talking about my dad owning Boarders Books
roarimaraptor: you should work there, and then when people ask where to find something you can be like "We don't carry that book, but you may enjoy this clay aiken single.... i'll ring that up for you"
KerrAiken: HAHAHAHA
KerrAiken: HAHAHA OMG OMG YES
KerrAiken: ROFL
roarimaraptor: and they'll be like "i don't want that" and you'll be like "let me just ring this up for you"
KerrAiken: I'D DO THAT TOO
KerrAiken: that's not his ass dear, that's his peen
roarimaraptor: i know
roarimaraptor: hehee
roarimaraptor: HAHAA!
KerrAiken: sugh huh
roarimaraptor: i can't stop laughing
KerrAiken: wtf?
KerrAiken: from what?
roarimaraptor: "that's not his ass dear, that's his peen"
KerrAiken: it really wasn't that funny
roarimaraptor: *dies*
roarimaraptor: oh yes it was
KerrAiken: mmmmmk
KerrAiken: hahahhaa awww his beard looks like poor shading of the picture
nosuchthing10387: we should go there today
KerrAiken: um
KerrAiken: yeah
KerrAiken: no
nosuchthing10387: why
KerrAiken: too much ice cream then
nosuchthing10387: such a thing exists?
KerrAiken: i'll be like lardo mc larden
nosuchthing10387: rofl
KerrAiken: hahaha
nosuchthing10387: thats your new nickname
Kimki: Is John for sure gay?
Me: Yes. At least with the Clohn it's 50% right.
Kimki: Well, more like 75%
talking about legally changing my name to Aikenstrom
KerrAiken: i'm changing mine
KerrAiken: and then getting my new birth cirtificate
KerrAiken: and showing John
roarimaraptor: HA!
KerrAiken: and pretending like this is reality and i didn't switch it for them
KerrAiken: and John'll be all "OMG CLAY!"
roarimaraptor: hehee
KerrAiken: and then Clay will come out and be like "it's like you're our hybrid"
roarimaraptor: *Dies*
KerrAiken: and then I'll be like "OMG MMM" and then John will be like "we can't hide from HER"
KerrAiken: and then they start making out
KerrAiken: and then i fall down coz i passed out
KerrAiken: and they take me over the fence into the bus
roarimaraptor: then you take a picture with clay's picture phone and send it to me
KerrAiken: and lay me down on Clay and John's bunk
KerrAiken: and i'm like "OMG this is where they make love" only i don't coz i'm passed out
roarimaraptor: ha!
KerrAiken: and they nurse me back to conciousness with soothing songs
roarimaraptor: and then they make out again
KerrAiken: and when I wake up my hair is more fashionable
KerrAiken: and my eyebrows are reshaped
roarimaraptor: *dies*
roarimaraptor: and you're wearing an ugly shirt
KerrAiken: damn you aiken
KerrAiken: it's like some ugly yellow striped polo
roarimaraptor: with an ugly tie
KerrAiken: and i go "ohhh no you aren't passing this off on me!"
KerrAiken: so then i whipp off the shirt
KerrAiken: but then i'm topless, but meh, two gay guys
KerrAiken: until Clay grabs them
KerrAiken: and john goes "Damn clay not again"
KerrAiken: and Clay's all "OMG SRY! I LOVE BEWBS"
roarimaraptor: hehee
roarimaraptor: you need to eat some fish.... it's good for the memory
KerrAiken: noooooooo
KerrAiken: meat is baddddd
KerrAiken: i can not eat things with souls
roarimaraptor: hmmm
roarimaraptor: mmmmm meat
roarimaraptor: clay meat
KerrAiken: i'll eat that, but i won't swallow
KerrAiken: *grin*
watching a clip of Clay jumping down the stairs
in a roflcopter: somebodys been eating his wheaties!
KerrAiken: haha
KerrAiken: or some other high protien diet...
roarimaraptor: i should send him one saying that i will volunteer for a job as "email checker"
KerrAiken: lol
roarimaraptor: i'll be like "i have much experience checking email, as I have several of my own addresses"
roarimaraptor: and i'll list them and they'll all be things like "boningseacrest@yahoo.com, clay_loves_ryan@yahoo.com, and hotandsexyseacrest@yahoo.com"
KerrAiken: ha
roarimaraptor: and he'll go "mmmm clay.... hire her!"
KerrAiken: or "sureryanisstraighthahaha@aol.com
roarimaraptor: hehee
KerrAiken: clyanforever
KerrAiken: clyantheirloveissoreal
roarimaraptor: ilikeitintherear
KerrAiken: top_ryan_Clay
KerrAiken: bendoverbaby
roarimaraptor: yalcevoli
KerrAiken: what?
roarimaraptor: i love clay backwards
KerrAiken: rofl
roarimaraptor: clayaiken_is_a_sexybitch
KerrAiken: imnotjustaradiopersonalityialsoownasexline
roarimaraptor: hehee
roarimaraptor: iloveclaybackwards
roarimaraptor: ha!
KerrAiken: ha
KerrAiken: mmmmmclaywithglassesinbednude
roarimaraptor: haha
roarimaraptor: mmmmmclay
roarimaraptor: aiken_ballcock
KerrAiken: HA!
KerrAiken: ryan_butplugg
roarimaraptor: ha!
KerrAiken: oh wait
KerrAiken: Seacrest_in_Aiken
roarimaraptor: i wannatasteyou_aiken
roarimaraptor: haha!
KerrAiken: LOL
roarimaraptor: this is fun
KerrAiken: it is enjoyable
roarimaraptor: hehee
roarimaraptor: lustforclayu
roarimaraptor: *-u
KerrAiken: SeacrestisAiken
roarimaraptor: hehee
KerrAiken: SeacrestisAiken4Clay
roarimaraptor: it's true
Miss Kressley: ok i have to go out.
KerrAiken: have to?
KerrAiken: WIBBLE
Miss Kressley: yeah
Miss Kressley: im taking my sister out
Miss Kressley: OMG NO WIBBLE
KerrAiken: ahh
KerrAiken: WIBBLLLZZZ
Miss Kressley: NO
Miss Kressley: NO WIBBLE
KerrAiken: oh yes
Miss Kressley: no
Miss Kressley: >;o
KerrAiken: it's Wibble-ton over here
KerrAiken: hahaha omg
Miss Kressley: ROFL
KerrAiken: i'm stupid
in a roflcopter: ThisIsNotClayAiken: hello? is this a fan? ugh, how did you EVER guess it was me?
KerrAiken: ThisIsNotClayAiken: lollaz, my type is purple, do you like it? Mmmmmz i do, rofl OMG!!!!111 purple!!
in a roflcopter: ThisIsNotClayAiken: OH LOL TO THE MAX. ITS ACTUALLY PINK. PINK. PINK PINK PINK. Not to be confused with p!nk, the who- singer. :-)
KerrAiken: ThisIsNotClayAiken: omg are you talking about my waldo again? :-[
in a roflcopter: ThisIsNotClayAiken: Just to let you all know, WALDO is not its name. Justi- I mean, I named it Clay Jr. UGH.
in a roflcopter: :-)
KerrAiken: ThisIsNotClayAiken: and he may be called Jr. But that does not depict his size. when i said 73 inches i meant it. not my height
in a roflcopter: ThisIsNotClayAiken: I actually kid about that. Its 3 inches. LOL TO THE MAX.
KerrAiken: ThisIsNotClayAiken: It's in fine working condition too, ladies. I oiled it yesterday...
KerrAiken: ThisIsNotClayAiken: Since I'm not Clay Aiken, I can tell you all a few things that have been on my mind the past few years...seriouzorz. Did you think i touched my make up artists bewbs for fun? No, she put my hands there, and that was the face of disgust verging on anger....om rose sucks at this
in a roflcopter: lmfao
in a roflcopter: we should stop
KerrAiken: most def
in a roflcopter: because
in a roflcopter: its borderline stupid
KerrAiken: no
KerrAiken: it's borderline completly retarded
in a roflcopter: lmao
in a roflcopter: clay wouldnt like that
in a roflcopter: retarded
KerrAiken: ThisIsNotClayAiken: Umm hello do not say that word!!!111onezoneszonez
in a roflcopter: EW
in a roflcopter: no im just in his pants
in a roflcopter: not that bad
KerrAiken: if i met John
in a roflcopter: yeah
KerrAiken: and John was like '*whistles* over here Clay!"
KerrAiken: I'd be all "OMG MY FRIEND JUSTINA LOVES YOU"
in a roflcopter: LMFAO
in a roflcopter: he'd be like
in a roflcopter: "WHAT ABOUT YOU?"
KerrAiken: "she wants in your pants"
in a roflcopter: mmmm
KerrAiken: and then my mo would hit me
KerrAiken: and id be "i want John"
KerrAiken: and John would blush
KerrAiken: and Clay would giggle at John's blush
in a roflcopter: lmao wtf
KerrAiken: and then He'd absentmindedly put his hand on John's neck and play wiht the ends of his hair
in a roflcopter: WTF
KerrAiken: and John would giggle
KerrAiken: and my mom would take a pic
KerrAiken: and i'd deveolp it
KerrAiken: and remember the love between the two of them that was so silent and yet so loud
KerrAiken: and i'd upload the picture
KerrAiken: and i'd make you make an icon of it
KerrAiken: *catches breath*
KerrAiken: and we'll make sings
KerrAiken: like "Aikenstrom lives"
KerrAiken: and then mmmmmmmmm
nosuchthing10387: rofl
nosuchthing10387: clay would get distracted
KerrAiken: yes
KerrAiken: "be still my beating heart"
nosuchthing10387: yea, he whispers it
KerrAiken: awww
KerrAiken: all emo
nosuchthing10387: yes
KerrAiken: and looks the way of John
KerrAiken: who is always out there watching
nosuchthing10387: lol
KerrAiken: and their eyes connect
KerrAiken: and their hearts beat together
KerrAiken: and stars form in their eyes
nosuchthing10387: calm down
KerrAiken: ...i went too far...again
nosuchthing10387: yes
Sushi Denim: I'm going to Hell just for trying to picture Satan bottoming for God alone. Everything else is shit.
KerrAiken: omg
KerrAiken: at least i didn't picture it!
KerrAiken: i'm going to hell for many things, but #1 is my IM convos
Sushi Denim: That mental picture renders all my other mental pictures obsolete. That is difficult to do.
KerrAiken: oh #2 is me imagining Judas/Jesus
Sushi Denim: I bet you wear pants of two different fabrics, too, don't you?
Sushi Denim: Goin to hell for that one
KerrAiken: probably, but i've done much worse
Sushi Denim: Taken the Lord's name in vain...
KerrAiken: lets not list it, i may start to feel bad
KerrAiken: i've decided to make this situation worse and listen to my favorite muical of all time
Sushi Denim: "I'm going to hell for wearing pants of two different fabrics that I like to have taken off me by other girls while usually taking the Lord's name in vain, and often on Sundays."
KerrAiken: "...oh yeah and then there's all that gay porn"
Sushi Denim: I can't remember where I read that
Sushi Denim: Hahah
KerrAiken: "...involving God"
Sushi Denim: Fuck yes.
KerrAiken: "...and Jesus"
Sushi Denim: Gay parn with God.
KerrAiken: hahaha there's a line in Jesus Christ Superstar during the last supper where the apostles go "what's that in the bread it's gone to my head" and of course it was made in the 70s so they mean "there's pot in the bread" but the bread symbolizes Jesus' body right? So Jesus is made of marijuana.
twisby3: LOL
twisby3: JESUS WEED
KerrAiken: i like how i make that connection
twisby3: it's beautiful
twisby3: i am proud of you
KerrAiken: YEY
relaying things that Conan was saying on Late Night
KerrAiken: a recycling bin, a paper shreader, a dumpster behind a marshmello bin, britney spears shirt
KerrAiken: ....things more and more likley to be filled with white trash
in a roflcopter: HAHA WTF
KerrAiken: are you watching?
KerrAiken: OMGOMGOMGOMG
in a roflcopter: no
KerrAiken: a popsicle, a lollipop, a helum baloon, a man's lap
KerrAiken: ...things more and more likely Clay Aiken would suck
in a roflcopter: OMG
in a roflcopter: OMG
in a roflcopter: OMG
in a roflcopter: OMG
in a roflcopter: O_______O
in a roflcopter: IS THIS NEW?
KerrAiken: OMG
KerrAiken: HAHAHAHA
KerrAiken: OMG
KerrAiken: OMG
in a roflcopter: WTF
KerrAiken: SO THE FUNNY
in a roflcopter: I MISSED IT
in a roflcopter: OF COURSE
KerrAiken: DIES LAUGHING
KerrAiken: I MADE IT UP TO GET BACK AT YOU FOR ALL THE CLOHN
in a roflcopter: I
in a roflcopter: HATE
in a roflcopter: YOU
in a roflcopter: YOU
in a roflcopter: SUCK
KerrAiken: *dead*
in a roflcopter: SO
in a roflcopter: MUCH
in a roflcopter: OMG
in a roflcopter: OMG
KerrAiken: omgomgomg
KerrAiken: i'm crying
KerrAiken: i'm laughing so hard
in a roflcopter: oMGdgjsdhugbudsjgmdnsgsdifgjnsfgfdhdfhdfhdfhhfdhdfhfdbhsuidjfhssdijofksnfbvgdrtyhijhbgfgyuhijijhdjjdjhdghdsjgdhgjdnvmncvcbncmckvjcvcjvcjhvcjvbfgjdfiuiiudsijfffffOMGhgfdsedftgyhujihygtfOMGsofjhgbdyuioksfndgOMGsijhfdsgOMGisjfhuygsyfijosjfstdyguhifjOMGdjifdjdhg
KerrAiken: i got you
KerrAiken: i got you
KerrAiken: so bad ass
KerrAiken: omg so happa
in a roflcopter: omg
in a roflcopter: not
in a roflcopter: gjdijgjd not funny
KerrAiken: now you know what it's like
in a roflcopter: UGH
KerrAiken: shaking
KerrAiken: so hard
KerrAiken: coz
KerrAiken: laughter
KerrAiken: tuckerdd me out
in a roflcopter: >:o
SweetLilTHNG29: hey
KerrAiken: hi
SweetLilTHNG29: is this really clay?
KerrAiken: no
KerrAiken: it's an RP game
SweetLilTHNG29: whats an RP game?
KerrAiken: role playing
SweetLilTHNG29: oooo
KerrAiken: Clay's at a concert right now
SweetLilTHNG29: so when clay is bak can i talk 2 him?
KerrAiken: ummm
lafemmeslytherin: AWLNRHGERKNHLJHNGLDFNGLNFGLSNALJKEINHTLE
lafemmeslytherin: ROFLROFLROFL
lafemmeslytherin: OMG I HAVE TO IM HER
lafemmeslytherin: AND BE LIKE HAY I'M BAK SUP
KerrAiken: LOL
KerrAiken: LOL
KerrAiken: LOL
lafemmeslytherin: *cries*
KerrAiken: OGOMGOMGOMG
KerrAiken: you're evil
lafemmeslytherin: I AM GOING TO DO IT
twisby3: i wonder if god made humans to get off on
twisby3: like some big sinnin' porno
KerrAiken: ew
KerrAiken: sick
twisby3: god is watching us now saying, "get up and get some action girls, i wanna see the tits i gave you"
KerrAiken: omg
KerrAiken: no
KerrAiken: stop
twisby3: dirty god
KerrAiken: jesus h christ!
twisby3: what does that h stand for
KerrAiken: i have no idea
KerrAiken: my mom says it
twisby3: henry?
KerrAiken: omgomg
KerrAiken: Heyzeus
twisby3: lol
KerrAiken: hahahaha you kow all that rain?
bitterdeity: yes did you get it?
KerrAiken: my cat was out in it
KerrAiken: muahahahahaha
bitterdeity: awwwwww
KerrAiken: he's all slicked back and wet now
bitterdeity: that is sadddddddd
bitterdeity: not orgasmically sad
bitterdeity: but still sad
KerrAiken: lil i'm glad it's not
bitterdeity: ha me too
bitterdeity: i'd have to kill myself if i orgasmed over a wet cat
bitterdeity: "OH OH OH my god OH it's so SAD"
KerrAiken: EW
KerrAiken: LETS STOP
KerrAiken: NOW
bitterdeity: lol
bitterdeity: bitterdeity: i'd have to kill myself if i orgasmed over a wet cat
in a roflcopter: want a big elle pic? :D
KerrAiken: no
in a roflcopter: :-(
KerrAiken: coz i'll like break down this computer
in a roflcopter: i'll resize it
in a roflcopter: oh
KerrAiken: then
KerrAiken: what's the point?
KerrAiken: rofl
in a roflcopter: lmao i mean bigger than the last
KerrAiken: "I HAVE A HUGE ELL PIC
in a roflcopter: but not huge
KerrAiken: LET ME RESIZE IT
KerrAiken: roflroflroflroflrofl
in a roflcopter: lmao stop
KerrAiken: omogoamg
KerrAiken: choking on laughter
in a roflcopter: fjhsuiojgsdm
KerrAiken: omgomg why was that so funny
in a roflcopter: no idea
KerrAiken: "OMG LET ME SHOW YOU THE BIGGEST ELLE PICTURE EVER!...LET ME RESIZE IT"
KerrAiken: *falls off chair*
in a roflcopter: LMFAO
in a roflcopter: well when you put it like that
KerrAiken: ha!
KerrAiken: *does pwn dance*
in a roflcopter: PWN DANCE
KerrAiken: i wish you could see it
KerrAiken: ...it pwns
in a roflcopter: no i thought you were kidding
KerrAiken: ...
KerrAiken: i mean, yes
KerrAiken: there is no dance...
talking about this very profile
in a roflcopter: i love whoring that shit
in a roflcopter: you know who clay should date?
KerrAiken: no.
in a roflcopter: ok
KerrAiken: who?
in a roflcopter: me
KerrAiken: ha
in a roflcopter: lmfao
KerrAiken: lame
in a roflcopter: duh
in a roflcopter: i'd make a good girlfriend to him
in a roflcopter: i'd tend to his mullet
KerrAiken: ROFL
KerrAiken: ROFL
KerrAiken: ROFL
Dahlstrommmmm: it's girl on girl...writing guy on guy...
in a roflcopter: lmao
Dahlstrommmmm: is this like a new kind of sexuality?
in a roflcopter: ...its called ROSE
Dahlstrommmmm: one of my away messages at school was "I am not reading, writing or watching porn"
in a roflcopter: hahaha lies
Dahlstrommmmm: yessss
in a roflcopter: WWJD
in a roflcopter: What Would John Do?
in a roflcopter: omg wtf
Dahlstrommmmm: OM YES
Dahlstrommmmm: MMMMMM
Dahlstrommmmm: oh oh oh
Dahlstrommmmm: WHO WOULD JOHN DO?
Dahlstrommmmm: CLAY
in a roflcopter: lmfao
Dahlstrommmmm: that's why John gave him that who would john do bracelet
Dahlstrommmmm: to Claim clay as his own
Dahlstrommmmm: "this is my ass for fucking"
Dahlstrommmmm: i'm done
in a roflcopter: ........O_______________O
in a roflcopter: omg clay is so hard
in a roflcopter: LMFAO I MEAN HARD TO DRAW
Dahlstrommmmm: *stifles laughter*
in a roflcopter: lmfaoooo
Dahlstrommmmm: *it can not be contained*
Dahlstrommmmm: OMGOAMGOAMGDSOGM ROFLROFLROFLROFLORLF
in a roflcopter: lmfaoooooooooooooo
Dahlstrommmmm: HAHAHAHAHAHA
Dahlstrommmmm: HAHAHAHAHA
Dahlstrommmmm: OMGOMGOMGOMG HAHAHAHAHAHA LOMAMDSAFODSOM
in a roflcopter: lmfao
Dahlstrommmmm: cheeks
Dahlstrommmmm: burning
Dahlstrommmmm: smiling
Dahlstrommmmm: laughters
Dahlstrommmmm: ouch
in a roflcopter: lmfao
in a roflcopter: connect okkkk
in a roflcopter is now directly connected.
in a roflcopter: mmmm
in a roflcopter: okay
in a roflcopter: direct connected mmmm
Dahlstrommmmm: hurry i gotta go very soon
in a roflcopter: oh :'(
in a roflcopter: no i have nothing to send
Dahlstrommmmm: :OL
in a roflcopter: just i wanted to connect
Dahlstrommmmm: LOL
in a roflcopter: :O
Dahlstrommmmm: *dies*
in a roflcopter: lmao
roarimaraptor: i can't help myself
roarimaraptor: i'm passionate about boners
Dahlstrommmmm: i just like the fact that you are a self proclaimed walking hard on
roarimaraptor: and proud of it!
in a roflcopter: mmmmm im in the mood to explore my photobucket
roarimaraptor: or judgement day will be quite embarrasing for the two of us
roarimaraptor: god will call us out in front of the entire planet
Dahlstrommmmm: ugh, not the planet
roarimaraptor: yes... the planet
Dahlstrommmmm: *shudder*
roarimaraptor: he'll have a special room in hell reserved for us
Dahlstrommmmm: he does
Dahlstrommmmm: i'm sure of it
roarimaraptor: where we'll be forced to watch qaf and look at pics of clay's boner for the rest of eternity
Dahlstrommmmm: how is that bad?
Dahlstrommmmm: no no no no no
roarimaraptor: cause i'll be stuck with you
Dahlstrommmmm: we have to watch the L word
roarimaraptor: and you'll be stuck with me
roarimaraptor: L word?
Dahlstrommmmm: the lesbian QaF
roarimaraptor: ahh
Dahlstrommmmm: no dick anywere
Dahlstrommmmm: no gays
Dahlstrommmmm: that would truly be hell
roarimaraptor: i'm not watching no lesbian anything
Dahlstrommmmm: I KNOW
Dahlstrommmmm: THAT'S WHY IT'S HELL
roarimaraptor: god can take a hike with that shit
Dahlstrommmmm: can God read IMs?
roarimaraptor: i hope not
Dahlstrommmmm: if clay hasn't wanked it, i'm sure once he does have sex it'll be like a volcano explosion and not last morn' like 5 seconds
roarimaraptor: hehee
roarimaraptor: i think guys have to wank it
Dahlstrommmmm: me too
Dahlstrommmmm: someone told me they did
roarimaraptor: cause that stuff of theirs builds up
Dahlstrommmmm: or it'd just come out anyway
roarimaraptor: they should find a way to turn it off
roarimaraptor: gross
Dahlstrommmmm: omg Jesus wanking it
Dahlstrommmmm: ewwwwwwwww
Dahlstrommmmm: if he was the son of God, maybe he didn't have semen?
Dahlstrommmmm: wtf? why am i talking about this?
roarimaraptor: *dies*
roarimaraptor: cause it's fun
Dahlstrommmmm: omgomg
Dahlstrommmmm: Why did I bring up Jesus???
roarimaraptor: i don't know
roarimaraptor: but we should call ryan
roarimaraptor: and talk to him about clay's porn star equipment
Dahlstrommmmm: lol
roarimaraptor: and send him on a mission to solve the mystery
Dahlstrommmmm: he finds John chained to clay's bed and Clay in the bathroom getting the leather ensemble on
Dahlstrommmmm: and ryan runs out crying "you never wanted to play master and slave boy when you were with me!"
Dahlstrommmmm: EMO
roarimaraptor: HAHA!
Miss Kressley: i have a phone currd
Miss Kressley: 100 mins!
Dahlstrommmmm: curd?
Dahlstrommmmm: lol
Miss Kressley: card
Dahlstrommmmm: i know
Dahlstrommmmm: rofl
Miss Kressley: :D
in a roflcopter: aw everyone is so hard on clay
Dahlstrommmmm: i won't even touch that scentence
in a roflcopter: http://p219.ezboard.com/ftheclayboardfrm11.showMessage?topicID=43714.topic .................
Dahlstrommmmm: ok
Dahlstrommmmm: "clipple" has got to stop
Dahlstrommmmm: they have gone TOO FUCKING FAR
in a roflcopter: LMFAO THAT MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD
Dahlstrommmmm: NO
Dahlstrommmmm: IT'S GOT TO STOP
in a roflcopter: they have gone TOO FUCKING FARE
in a roflcopter: FAR
Dahlstrommmmm: oh that
Dahlstrommmmm: yeah i'm funny.
Dahlstrommmmm: *fasts forward until the rollercoaster*
in a roflcopter: :'(
Dahlstrommmmm: if he came out he could do a Diane Sawyer interveiw with John by his side omg creams
in a roflcopter: ..
Dahlstrommmmm: sry i got carried away again
in a roflcopter: yeah you did
Dahlstrommmmm: so then we were in this race
Dahlstrommmmm: i'm pretty sure you were there
twisby3: lol
Dahlstrommmmm: and so whatever we were doing it
Dahlstrommmmm: and it swiches to this TV commercial looking thing with three girls on swings
Dahlstrommmmm: and one of them is leaning back and goofing off
Dahlstrommmmm: and she falls off from this high high swing
Dahlstrommmmm: and she's sitting on the ground, lifts her head and goes "OMG i'm paralized" and then a logo comes up like it's a new TV show and it's like "they were friends about to move away until one mistake caused one of them to be...DUH DUN DUH PARALIZED!"
Dahlstrommmmm: i was like THE FUCK IS THIS??
twisby3: LOL
twisby3: LOL
twisby3: that is hilarious
Dahlstrommmmm: my head is fucking messed up
Watching Conan do "if they mated"
in a roflcopter: imagine one day
in a roflcopter: he does a clay/john one
Dahlstrommmmm: OMG
Dahlstrommmmm: DON'T TEMP ME WITH THAT
in a roflcopter: "clay aiken and his HAIR DRESSER"
Dahlstrommmmm: OH GOD I THINK I JUST HAD A MINIHAPPY HEART ATTACK
in a roflcopter: BRB POTTY LIKE A MO. AND NO COMMENTS FROM THE PEANUT GALLERY
Dahlstrommmmm: the peanuts are silent tonight, they've been sent to their haloucaust deth of honey roasted hell.
Dahlstrommmmm: or Quaff
Dahlstrommmmm: hahahaha to gulp something
Dahlstrommmmm: QaF really does know how to show some boys quaffing i'll tell you that.
Dahlstrommmmm: i'm done.
Dahlstrommmmm: :-X
Dahlstrommmmm: :-[
Dahlstrommmmm: :-(
Miss Kressley: ROFL
Miss Kressley: QUAFF
Dahlstrommmmm: I call it quaff
Dahlstrommmmm: didn't you know that?
Dahlstrommmmm: i'm like OMG QUAFF IS ON
Dahlstrommmmm: i should name my laptop quaff
Dahlstrommmmm: and if anyone asks it'sbecaue "it swallows a lot of information at once"
Dahlstrommmmm: and by information i mean cum
Dahlstrommmmm: and by cum i mean, yes.
Miss Kressley: ROFLLLL
Dahlstrommmmm: i'm done.
Dahlstrommmmm: i'm so done.
Miss Kressley: hot, creamy cum
Dahlstrommmmm: stick a fork in me
Dahlstrommmmm: the only kind there is
Miss Kressley: *falls over a million times*
twisby3: whoaaaa i downloaded this crazy song called "johnny depp" thinking... johnny depp would be in it...
Dahlstrommmmm: no don't tell me no
twisby3: but it's this crazy guy mewing, "johnnnyyyy depp! johnnnnnnyyyy depp!"
Dahlstrommmmm: oh good
twisby3: lol what would it be
twisby3: ....
twisby3: all internet things are wholesome
Dahlstrommmmm: i thought maye you realized you miss splelled johnny deep
twisby3: ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Dahlstrommmmm: EXACTILY
Dahlstrommmmm: THATS WHY I SAID STOP
Dahlstrommmmm: heh, that's what he said
twisby3: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
twisby3: YOU ARE MAKING THE INTERNET SO CORRUPT
twisby3: YOU AND YOUR CLAY PORN
Dahlstrommmmm: hahahahaha
twisby3: AND JOHNNY DEEP
in a roflcopter: and then clay gets up from the..er..hair chair and is like forget it, and starts walking out but DUN grabs john by the colars of his gay person shirt and pins him against the wall ^____^
Dahlstrommmmm: GAY PERSON SHIRT
in a roflcopter: i SO want to pick on clay
in a roflcopter: like pull his hair in the back and be like WTF MULLET
in a roflcopter: lmfao ryan awwww clays mullet mmmmmm
twisby3: lol i wanted to be POSITIVE
twisby3: because everything i say is so NEGATIVE
Dahlstrommmmm: i liked it
Dahlstrommmmm: it was a new switch
Dahlstrommmmm: ooo let's be positive pollys
Dahlstrommmmm: rofl
twisby3: i am being POSITIVE and HAPPY about things
Dahlstrommmmm: instead of negative nancys
Dahlstrommmmm: YEY
twisby3: YAYYAYYAY PURPLE FLOWERS
twisby3: SUNSHINE
Dahlstrommmmm: LET'S PASTE FAKE SMILES ON OUR FACES AND TELL EVERYONE WE DON'T LIKE WE LOVE THEM
twisby3: DANCING FAIRIYS
Dahlstrommmmm: OOOOO FLOWERS!!! AND BEEEEEESS ERM BUTTERFLIES
twisby3: DO YOU LIKE MY FUCKING SUNSHINE!?
Dahlstrommmmm: I LURVE YOUR FUCKING SUNSHINE
twisby3: FUCK YEAH!
Dahlstrommmmm: IT MAKES MY EYES BLEED BUT I'M STILL SMILING
twisby3: I LOVE SUNSHINE AND HAPPINESS
twisby3: !!!11!!!Oone!!!!!!!
a picture of young!Clay with BBQ all over his face
in a roflcopter: maybe it was sauce
in a roflcopter: steak sauce
KerrAiken: ROFL
KerrAiken: ooo i bet it was Steaik sause
KerrAiken: no that'd be white
KerrAiken: *dies*
KerrAiken: you make the perfect couple
KerrAiken: instead of being a little bit country and rock n roll you're a little bit butch and he's a little bit femmy.
Aya323: shut up
in a roflcopter: perfectly groomed fingernails and long slender fingers omg omgomogmgomg kill me now
in a roflcopter: i bet they're soft and lotioned
KerrAiken: lol
KerrAiken: lotioned from what?
in a roflcopter: err
KerrAiken: *hahahahah awww*
KerrAiken: you said it
in a roflcopter: shuttup
in a roflcopter: :P
*LATER*
in a roflcopter: "im striaght i swear, but ryan just gave too good of blowjobs to pass up" ......wow i said that?
KerrAiken: OMG OMGOMG ADSKFASDL;FK
KerrAiken: YOU DID OMG
in a roflcopter: lmfao
Miss Kressley: don't do it just because she says so
Miss Kressley: plus you're a flaming virgin
in a roflcopter: does my shirt make the profile
in a roflcopter: plz :-(
KerrAiken: NO YOU CAN'T BEG TO BE IN THE THE PROFILE!
in a roflcopter: BUT IT PWNED
KerrAiken: i'm upping the anty in what gets into the profile
KerrAiken: i put in too much bland stuff before
KerrAiken: things now have to pwn x30
in a roflcopter: NO >:o
KerrAiken: yes
in a roflcopter: BUT IT PWNED x 9243
KerrAiken: no i'm sorry
KerrAiken: now look
KerrAiken: maybe next time
in a roflcopter: STFU
KerrAiken: Will, who said he was his husband?
WT 8355: well, he is, isn't he?
KerrAiken: no
WT 8355: hmph
WT 8355: well, what is he then?
KerrAiken: friends?
WT 8355: so they're not gay anymore?
KerrAiken: the next show is called "Top Five Flaming Foods" hahaha it sounds queer
in a roflcopter: HAHAHAHHAHA
in a roflcopter: away message'd
KerrAiken: they mean like Flombe
KerrAiken: but stoll
KerrAiken: still*
in a roflcopter: yes
*LATER ON*
KerrAiken: hahahahah i can just see a stake going over to a chicken breast and going "Oh no girl, you did not just take my garnish." and then do the ghetto snap and then the chicken breast replies "What you going to do about it, bitch? I'll clock you upside the head, why don't you go back to your golden skillit, you pansy."
KerrAiken: or something like that.
in a roflcopter: .......omg
KerrAiken: you know...
KerrAiken: flaming foods...
in a roflcopter: HAHA OH
roarimaraptor: i'm glad to be off this weekend though
roarimaraptor: my body hurts
KerrAiken: what d you do?
roarimaraptor: dunno
roarimaraptor: i think maybe ryan came and raped me in my sleep
KerrAiken: i mean at work
roarimaraptor: or clay beat me with his bible
roarimaraptor: ah at work
KerrAiken: yo what's going down?
roarimaraptor: clay on ryan
KerrAiken: what's a really atypical happy story?
in a roflcopter: the friends ending
KerrAiken: friends was predictable
in a roflcopter: duh
KerrAiken: atypical means NOT predictable
in a roflcopter: oh...
in a roflcopter: i thought you made a typo
in a roflcopter: :-[
KerrAiken: lol
in a roflcopter: I WANA WRIET A FIC ABOUT CLAYS CAR BREAKNG DOWN IN FRONT OF MAH HOUSE AND I GO OUT AND IM LIEK WOW CLAY UR CAR IS BROK3N AND H3S LIEK I KNO AND THAN H3S LIEK WANA MAEK OUT AND IM LIEK K
justinasaurus x: clay was de-pantsed by kim locke
justinasaurus x: and they "wrestled" afterwards
KerrAiken: so he's def. gay
justinasaurus x: hmmm did he put them back on?
justinasaurus x: no :-)
KerrAiken: no coz john was there
justinasaurus x: no he wasnt
KerrAiken: in my world he was
justinasaurus x: he was getting his lip peirced
KerrAiken: LOL
justinasaurus x: :-(
KerrAiken: LOL
justinasaurus x: in my world
KerrAiken: LOLLAZ
KerrAiken: *dead*
twisby3: YAY LOOK I AM THE TEASER WHORE
KerrAiken: you really are
twisby3: YAY TEASER WHORE
twisby3: i always wanted to be a whore for something
twisby3: thanks for making my dreams come true
KerrAiken: you should like Clay or Ryan
twisby3: i dislike them both
twisby3: they are too manly for me
twisby3: ok wanna hear about the time davy's friend committed suicide
KerrAiken: you do that
twisby3: that'll sober you up
twisby3: i'll save it for later
twisby3: when your happiness overwhelms me and i need to dampen it
twisby3: with lots of pointy objects for him to fall upon
KerrAiken: ok, dude man
twisby3: then ryan can stumble upon clay, unconscious and bleeding
twisby3: and cry to the hidden sun, "lord, why! why this boy!"
KerrAiken: wow
twisby3: and then the ambulance comes and see davy, er, clay, looking grey like the sky
twisby3: and representing the doom of all human bliss
KerrAiken: i was intregued
twisby3: haha angst mmmm
twisby3: i could eat it up
twisby3: and i do
roarimaraptor: someone should get a domain for Clyan
roarimaraptor: www.clyan.com
KerrAiken: mmmmmmm
roarimaraptor: damnit! someone has it!
roarimaraptor: i hate when people steal the domain names i want
KerrAiken: WHAT
roarimaraptor: i don't know what it is
KerrAiken: what about "Clyan.org"
KerrAiken: and org will stand for ORGY
roarimaraptor: ooooh
roarimaraptor: brilliant
justinasaurus x: hhahaha oh..
justinasaurus x: mmmmm clay
justinasaurus x: pervy thoughts
KerrAiken: oh man
KerrAiken: if you didn't already whore my profile i'd put that in
justinasaurus x: PUT IT IN
justinasaurus x: >:o
KerrAiken: NO!
justinasaurus x: yes
justinasaurus x: :-(
KerrAiken: YOU PW!
justinasaurus x: :'(
KerrAiken: lol
miss kressley: what!
KerrAiken: nothin
KerrAiken: :D
miss kressley: :D~!!!!
miss kressley: oh hi there little squiggly line
KerrAiken: lol
Sushi Denim: Simon asks Paula if she's writing the smarmy patter between the songs, because they all sound like her. Heh. Paula asks if that's a bad thing. Simon, in his "you're an idiot" voice, tells her to draw her own conclusions. She starts looking around for a crayon.
KerrAiken: sooo cooolllllddd
justinasaurus x: :-(
KerrAiken: i hate living with the old people
KerrAiken: they like to freeze me
justinasaurus x: haha
justinasaurus x: then cook you and eat you
KerrAiken: wtf
justinasaurus x: :-(
justinasaurus x: after this is over tomorrow, sleep all day and eat like a pig :-D
KerrAiken: i have to pack
justinasaurus x: oi
KerrAiken: all day tomorrow
KerrAiken: whoops
justinasaurus x: fux0rz
KerrAiken: yes
justinasaurus x: MY POOR BABY..You're pulling a Clayton!
KerrAiken: heeeeeeeeeee
justinasaurus x: he probally wanks off to keep himself awake lmfaongdoishgnsoigj*937t8yhg
justinasaurus x: and I, I talk about Clay wanking off to keep myself awake
justinasaurus x: niiiice
KerrAiken: you do??
justinasaurus x: NO IM JUST SAYING
justinasaurus x: cuz i mentioned that
KerrAiken: *DEAD*
justinasaurus x: and its 2 am
justinasaurus x: HAHA
justinasaurus x: YEAH I LAY IN BED AND IM LIKE "MUST STAY AWAKE..THINK OF CLAY WITH HIS HAND DOWN HIS PANTS"
justinasaurus x: SHUDDER
justinasaurus x: American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken was spotted in Washington DC two days ago, walking out of a Wendy's fast food resturant into the parking lot with another man in a hat. Its been reported the other man gave Clay a hug, and they both went into separate vehicles.
KerrAiken: JOHNNYT
KerrAiken: wewt
KerrAiken: they hugged
KerrAiken: where is the picture
KerrAiken: wtf where is the picture!?!
justinasaurus x: I cant find it cause I made that up =-O =-O =- o omg :-X
KerrAiken: I HATE YOU
KerrAiken: OMG I HATE YOU
KerrAiken: KFLJSDKLFJSDKLF
KerrAiken: WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO ME
KerrAiken: AKDFJAKSDFJSKDFJ
KerrAiken: I HATE YOU
justinasaurus x: im laughing so hard right now
KerrAiken: AS AM I
justinasaurus x: How to entertain youself 10
justinasaurus x: 101*
KerrAiken: i'm not usually gullible
KerrAiken: but
KerrAiken: with ClayGay I am
justinasaurus x: ahhahahidokakadlalkdaldkldalkajieiuwiyr82rujfn
KerrAiken: the JERK store called, they're running out of YOU
justinasaurus x: oh snap
justinasaurus x: im hurt
justinasaurus x: :-D
KerrAiken: shut
justinasaurus x: oh god
KerrAiken: i'm not going to listen to anymore of your LIES
KerrAiken: for you my friend are a LIAH
justinasaurus x: :-(
to buy the first volume go here:
http://www.cafeshops.com/cp/prod.aspx?p=thepofile.11350882