Wow, I'm tired. I'm having the hardest time even trying to type this right now. My brain is hardly functioning. I had the most hardcore dream last night that made me wake up this early in the morning.

Do I really mean to vent that much? What does it all mean? Bleh.

And there's someone out there that feels bad about something that he shouldn't.

We dismantled the engine. And are slowly putting it back together. It recently feels like the spark plug has been changed. The spark is back in my engine.

Let me elaborate where I feel like I can let it all out and you won't have to see me break down.

You.
Can't touch.
Can't hold.
Feel empty without.

Me.
Lost.

I slept last night clutching a shirt that's neither mine nor belongs to something of mine anymore. It's different now, and it hurts.

I lost my shoes.

It's like spinning in my stomach and fluttering in my chest. My voice is raspy and the words just trickle down my bottom lip. Mumble, mumble. They seem to trip and fall on deaf ears. But it's not like they were ever understood anyways. They just act to get lost along the way but always seem to find out how to come back and bite me in the ass ( Read more... )

I'm slowly dying inside. Rot on the inside first. Then out.

Colorado was really fun. Wish I had more time for my family, but I can't wait to come back to Raleigh. And you. Especially you.

Everytime my day tends to get boring, I just remember that I have you and it makes me smile out loud. So that everyone can see and hear it.


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I'm having fun here. But it doesn't take away from the fact that I still think about you every minute of the day.

I can't wait to come back and kiss you.

I don't think I can stand to be away from you for this long. It's eating me up already.

I miss you.

He still seems to think it's a choice. And I hate him for that. My day's already starting off horribly. Let's see what can happen next.