for all I ever thought, tomorrow may never even end or begin? because it’s nothing but the here and now and who would have thought you’d be going around trying to freeze time even when it’s summer and you yourself are freezing curled on a linoleum floor. who would have thought you’d be kissing novels or reading the sky or painting pictures without ( Read more... )

don’t really like the realosphere that much anymore…i know, i know. [insert all the “itoldyouso”s you’d like about self-fulfilling prophecies].  don’t know where to start or what to do or where to go…well, I could very well call a series of numbers I have stored on a series of phones, but ugh, 98% of human contact involves deliberately diluting ( Read more... )

 i dont know. they damage done to us seems irreversal? "every client's like a setting sun"? mom ordered a copy of the new"bipolar disorder for dummies". don't wanna even think how many people will actually take this shit interveniously. i only opened one page&already saw an assortment astronomical ploys to get us into those traps. once you get an ( Read more... )

i’m sure there are still videos of me where i’m frozen in the microphone, trying my best to emulate the mariah carey’s repertoire &vibrato. when I was ten, twelve, thirteen, that music was totally me &of course, it’s moments like these that I want to make a bold statement that it isn’t true. i have so many ugly memories of elementary &middle school ( Read more... )

there is a downcast of geniuses in my family who will smile or frown &let you know that you will never have another friend quite like them. i have this eerie connection to my mother’s side of the lineage. my father is mastermind to multiple degrees, but everything he did was so calculated &meticulous. numbers are my nemesis; whenever I see them, I ( Read more... )

i eat myself for breakfast &my eyes are full and soggy &the world seems so swollen so that my walls became fluorescent and my floors feel like linoleum. i am sick of this décor, but I can’t even get out of my personal house. years ago, when I was twelve, my mom told me how my stomach was chomping at it’s own insides. &I imagined all the acids ( Read more... )

i graduated from the summers of unreality and have been spending mostly solitary time in my own workshops, sitting and thinking and not even writing in this thing. anyway, went to the ear doctor today, who told drew a diagram of what once wasn’t my eardrum


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how can I possibly fix this? wish I had the patience to drop & roll dead &ALSO buy a greyhound ticket - destination? didn’t you read the signs bitch?!, this is the apocalypse express!!! give the driver a blowjob in exchange for promising me my own seat in the backrow. unfortunately, even if I ever did get this far & come this close, I know I’d be ( Read more... )

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