Moving Forward
Fandom: Lewis
Title: Moving Forward
Spoilers: up to 2.04 The Great and The Good
Rating: M just to be safe but it really needs a sap rating of way too much LOL
Summary: Laura's worried as Robbie throws himself into another case after Cooper's letter. As she tries to get him to relax their relationship takes a turn.
Note: As always I thank my partner in crime mightyoneslover. You'll never know how much you've helped me. Thanks buddy.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, just having fun
Cross-posted to not_just_lewis and inspector_lewis
I stand outside his office just watching, contemplating these feelings that I can no longer deny. I know with a certainty that I care deeply for Robert Lewis. I’m not sure if I’d call it love. It could be but I don’t think he’s ready for that. I’m not even sure I’d be ready for it. He’s a wonderful friend and I wouldn’t want anything to jeopardize that relationship.
“Laura,” he says breaking through my repose, “you don’t have to stand out there all night. You’re welcome to come in.”
Smiling I say, “I didn’t want to disturb you.” Knowing full well he’s pouring over the Jane “Penny” Doe case. It’s all he’s been working on in his free time for the past four months. At least that’s what Hathaway’s been saying at our pub meet ups. Somehow Jim’s taken to frequenting the same pub I do for weeks now. I didn’t suspect anything at first. Now though I think the Sergeant’s more than a little concerned for his boss and his obsession with this poor girl. Tonight he finally came out and asked me to look in on Robbie.
“It was that damned Cooper. After that letter about his wife I think he used the case to distract himself and it got out of control.” Hathaway told me.
I would have to agree. Penny Doe was a teenaged girl found naked and beaten to death in a ditch by a farmer. She’d been brutally raped and almost all of the officers involved in her case were affected. She had no identification and no one had come forward to claim her. A PC had found a necklace with the letter “P” by the scene. It was nothing special, a cheaply made unremarkable piece of jewelry. Another PC said she looked like a Penny and that was how everyone started to refer to her. That was a difficult post mortem. I’ve never been able to handle children well. She was a beautiful young lady who someone has to have missed.
I walk in and sit at Hathaway’s desk, turning to face Robbie. He’s intent again on the files. When I first met him years ago he was so unlike his superior at the time. I’d say the total opposite of Morse. I can’t say that for the man sitting before me now. I see glimpses of the old Robbie, the innocent boyishness every so often but the bitter, solitary nature of his former Chief Inspector seems to have taken up residence.
I can’t blame Robbie. With all that has happened what else is to be expected? How do you survive when the one you love deeply is taken from you so tragically? I know from remarks he’s made that alcohol helped him at first then he tried running away. Two years in the sun and I don’t think it helped as much as he thought it might. One day, if I get enough courage, I’ll ask why he choose to return.
“What brings you to the station tonight?” he asks not looking up.
What indeed? I know it’s more than just Hathaway’s concern. I’m concerned but how do I tell him? I’ve known him for so long. When we met I’d been dating another of his supers. Marty Johnson. What a huge mistake that turned out to be. I did always seem to have a thing for policemen. After we got to know one another I would go out with Val and him. It sounds so adolescent but which ever of his colleagues I was dating we’d double sometimes. It was always fun. I never gave much thought about Robbie in those days. He was Morse’s married Sergeant, the junior officer who shared some laughs with me at his DCI’s expense. Later he became Val’s husband.
I decide to answer him with a bit of truth. “Hathaway’s worried about you. He thinks you need to take a step back from the case. Get out more.”
Looking up he smiles. “Me? Get out more? I think my Sergeant might need to take some of his own advice.”
I can’t stop myself from smiling. It’s always infectious when Robbie smiles and it’s such a rare occurrence these days.
“Well, just so you know he has, I just came from having a drink with him. It’s become a weekly thing with us.”
I watch as an eyebrow raises and he smiles at me again. We sit there for awhile in silence. It could be another sign of how things have changed for me. I’m more than content to just sit quietly with him. He leans back in his chair sighing heavily. The restlessness returns leaving Robbie behind. DI Lewis is all that remains.
“I think Hathaway may be on to something. You need a break.”
This gets another raised eyebrow prompting me to stand and walk behind him. Placing my hands on his shoulders I continue, “Don’t argue. I know about the insomnia. Not sleeping can’t be good for your back either.”
Leaning his head back he looks up at me, “Just how much do you and Jim talk about me?”
How I don’t lean down and give in to the urge to kiss him is something I’ll never figure out. Especially when he stills my hands, hands that have been kneading tense muscles and brings one to his cheek. The contact only lasts a few seconds but gives me hope.
Stepping back I speak with an even clear voice despite the fluttering I feel throughout my entire body. “Come on let’s go to a film. A comedy. You need some mindless entertainment. Then we’ll go back to your place and I’ll cook you dinner.”
He stands and I brace for the argument to come. “You didn’t have to stop with the massage. I was enjoying it.” Flirting? “Maybe after supper?”
I can’t help but roll my eyes which earns a small smirk from the detective. I decide to ignore it for now.
“We don’t want to miss the trailers. Let’s go.” I tell him as he grabs his jacket and we head to the theater.
*****
“Laura that film was . . .” he stops, searching for the right word. His brow furrows as he mind works. I’ve seen that look many times, “terrible.”
“That’s all you could come up with?” I laugh and take his hand.
“It’s all it deserves.” I’m rewarded with a big smile from him as we walk towards his place.
“You were laughing several times I seem to recall Inspector. In fact I could produce at least several witnesses who heard you and asked you to ‘please be quiet’.”
He laughs and stops us at a corner. A chill passes through me, one I don’t get to think on too much as he puts his jacket over my shoulders.
“Cold?” he asks.
“Not really.” I answer growing quickly accustomed to the wonderful scent that is Robbie. A combination of soap, water and something unmistakably him.
He pulls the jacket tighter around me. What a perfect time to pull his head towards mine . . .
Robbie surprises me by putting his lips against mine. I don’t hesitate one moment placing my arms around him. His jacket falls to the ground as I pull him as close to me as is allowed in such a public setting.
I breathe his name against his lips as they part mine. He tastes of buttered popcorn and chocolate. Delicious.
How long we kiss for I don’t know. I’ve thought of how a first kiss would be for quite some time so it’s understandable I’d lose track of time. To be honest if we weren’t discussing a case I’ve thought of little else when we were together. It was getting quite distracting.
I run my hand up under the back of his shirt when a loud cough interrupts us. Someone is going to get a right old bollocking.
“Sir, ma’am I think you two are old enough to know this kind of thing is frowned upon.”
Old? Yes I’m going to let who ever this idiot is have it.
I can feel Robbie’s smile as he pulls back opening his eyes slowly. He turns to face whoever it is taking my hand as I pull down the back of his shirt.
The officer, who couldn’t be more than a teenager, coughs an apology as he sees exactly who he’s talking to, “Inspector, Sir, Doctor excuse me, I’m so sorry.”
Even with the low light I can see the young man’s face is crimson. He’s still mumbling as bends to pick up Robbie’s jacket. Dusting it off before handing it back to his superior.
“Carter would you stop apologizing. Dr. Hobson and I were just on our way.”
“Thank you Sir. Doctor. I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening.”
“Don’t worry Constable just doing your duty.”
“Yes sir. Thank you Sir.” The boy repeats as we walk away.
I let us walk for a few minutes before pulling on his arm to stop us. Just what exactly happened I wonder? Out of the blue Robbie Lewis just gave me a toe curler of a kiss and I really have no idea why. I look at him trying to find an answer. He leans towards me again.
“Robbie?” is all I get to say as his lips brush against my ear.
“I did that because I secretly love you.” He whispers then pulls back and his face lights up. “C’mon you owe me supper.”
*****
“I’m glad I cleaned up a bit this morning.” Robbie says to me as he unlocks the door to his flat.
“I wouldn’t think you’d be here long enough to make a mess.”
“Funny.” He says with a hint of an eye roll but gives me a small smile.
His hand on the small of my back he guides me into the kitchen area and living room, switching on the lights. The place is small. I guess what you’d call cozy. In the corner is a bookshelf with a picture of him and Val. What the hell was I thinking?
“I’m starving. I don’t think I need to show you were the kitchen is.” He tells me beginning to go back down the hall, he motions at another door. “I’m going to use the . . .”
I just smile as he closes the door behind him.
Before heading into the kitchen curiosity gets the better of me. Placing his jacket on the sofa I move to the bookshelf. Its contents surprise me. Various types of novels and DVD’s line the shelves, comedies, spy thrillers, horror, a love story. Love story? The CD’s also a variety. More classical then I’d expect to find. Morse’s influence no doubt.
I pick up the frame with the picture of him and Val. Both are smiling broadly, holding one another. Has it been long enough for Robbie? He did just kiss me and it wasn’t a peck. It was a passionate, make me weak in the knee’s kiss. A kiss for lovers. Am I trying to compete I ask myself? Will I be battling ghosts? What the hell am I thinking?
“Laura?” Robbie says from the hall doorway. Tie gone, collar unbuttoned, sleeves rolled up. Looking more relaxed than I’ve seen him in months.
“Sorry.” I tell him putting the frame back in its place.
“It’s not a problem.” He tells me as he walks towards me. I see in his eyes it really isn’t, “Now what about supper?”
Following him into the small kitchen area he begins showing me where things are located. The cabinets and fridge are fully stocked and I can’t help but be impressed.
“You never cease to amaze me.” I tell him, “That’s a lot of food for one person”
“I got tired of ‘pierce and ping’.”
“What?”
“Nothing.” He whispers then opens the fridge getting a bottle of beer, “I had the time on my hands to learn how to cook.”
He pours me a glass and comes to stand in front of me. I take the glass and drink a little, “Well it certainly looks like you are reaping the benefits of this new found knowledge.” I can’t help but tease and place my hand on his stomach.
“I can’t help it if I like to eat. Val was the one to always make sure our meals were healthy.” He voice cracks somewhat and I feel my heart tighten.
“Robbie,” I begin.
“I’m all right.” He says placing his hand over mine. “Really. I’m all right now.”
Putting my glass down I move my arm around his neck. “I think I’d agree.”
He leans down kissing me slightly. I take his bottom lip between my teeth. I’m not letting him get away. His glass joins mine on the counter as he crushes me to the sink. My hands go through his hair, down his back, cupping him to me. I can feel his arousal against my thigh as he sucks my tongue into his mouth. I want nothing more than to rip his clothes off and have him make love to me right there, on the counter. I put a little space between us and start to undo the buttons of his shirt. Skin to skin is the only destination I’ll accept at this moment. His hands move to the zipper of my pants when his blasted mobile goes off.
“Dammit!” We say in unison.
Breathless he answers and I hear a one sided conversation of yes ma’am’s and no ma’am’s. Work of course. Always bloody work.
“You will not believe this.”
“Try me.” I say finally having regained my composure.
“That was Innocent.”
“Where do we need to go? I’d hope we get at least one night free.”
“We will. Innocent’s asked me to go pick up Hathaway. I guess he got a little pissed and caused something of a scene.”
“What?”
“I’m not sure exactly what happened. She just wants me to get him before he gets into real trouble.”
“I’ll walk back to the station with you to get my car.”
“What about my supper?” he asks and I just stand there not saying a word, “You could stay here. I don’t think I’ll be that long. I’ll pick Jim up, get him to bed and be right back.”
“Are you certain?”
He answers by running his hand tentatively over the front of my blouse. I stop his hand against my left breast, against the rapid beating of my heart. He kisses me again speaking against my lips. “I’d like you to stay.”
I look deep into his eyes and see the moment’s hesitation. Does he think he’s saying what I want to hear? Does he understand the depth of my feelings? Letting go of his hand I pull him into a hug. I’ve got to make him understand.
“I didn’t intend to seduce you Robbie.” I tell him as he pulls back.
“I know.” He answers looking to the floor.
“I don’t want you getting hurt.”
“No, no that’s not it.” He says looking up at me. Those piercing blue eyes of his filling with unshed tears. “I just never expected . . .”
He stops. I know this has to be difficult for him. Robert Lewis doesn’t strike me as someone who does well expressing his feelings verbally. He is after all just a man.
“After Val’s death,” he starts over, “I never thought much about finding someone I’d love again. When I was sober and able to think straight I counted myself lucky to have had Val. It’s just a bit overwhelming to feel this way again.”
I let out the breath I’ve been holding. I’m smiling so wide my head is starting to ache. This is definitely not how I thought the evening would end. I started tonight content to cook a meal for the man I’ve grown to love. Then go home and continue our relationship as it’s been for years. Yet again he has surprised me.
“Will you stay?” he asks and I realize I haven’t said a word concerning his declaration. The hesitation has now been replaced with fear. Fear of rejection I guess. I don’t know for sure. I do know I’m going to love finding out the many facets of Robbie Lewis.
I don’t say anything deciding actions will speak more than any frivolous words I can think up. I pull him close, holding on to him tightly. Hands move to his hair, so soft. I pull his head towards mine. Kissing once softly, twice a little harder, thrice parting his lips. He’s responding to each kiss and I know I won’t be able hold back any longer.
Breaking our kiss I speak with an urgency I feel in the pit of my stomach, “Hurry back, please hurry.”
He begins to laugh. I know if I could see myself, out of breath, face red, entire body tingling from the tips of my toes to the top of my head I would laugh as well. But all I can see is his happiness and that warms me even more.
“I guess I waited too long to tell you how I felt.”
Shaking my head at him I say, “I could have said something. I am normally a woman who knows her own mind.”
“A very sexy mind,” Robbie says leaning in to kiss me again.
I stop him, “No don’t start again. Go and get Jim then get your arse back here.”
“Laura.”
“What? After all this time I think a little coarse language is allowed. Besides I can get supper ready while you’re gone.”
“Surprisingly I’m not really all that hungry any more.”
“Me neither. At least not for food.” There’s no mistaking the need in my voice. We are both silent and he moves to get his keys and jacket. Right now nothing more needs to be said. I’m certain there will be time for words. Sentimental words, words of longing, of love but right now one friend needs another.
“I better go get Hathaway.”
He starts walking down the hall when I decide to voice one more question.
“Robbie.”
“Yeah?”
“Not that I’m complaining but why did you finally kiss me?”
Hand on the doorknob he turns and walks back to me. Taking my face in his hands his eyes meet mine, “I’ve been imaging it for some time. I just got tired of not knowing what it was like.”
He kisses the tip of my nose leaving before anything more can be said. I stand alone in Robbie’s flat, the hum of the refrigerator my only companion. His answer is another pleasant surprise and puts my mind at ease. To know he’s been thinking of our relationship in this new context for some time is something I could never have wished for. I bring my hands to my lips still tingling from his touch. I’ve suddenly become restless. Sitting on the sofa I grab the remote turning on the television. Hoping it helps to pass the time until he returns.
I look again at the photograph of him and Val. His face so full of love. Just a few moments ago I saw that same look directed at me. At the beginning of this evening I was unsure what to call my feelings. The idea of using the word love frightened me. I feared losing what had become special between us. I should know by now not to underestimate him. Robbie Lewis loves me and I love him. I'm just glad the secret is finally out.
Title: Moving Forward
Spoilers: up to 2.04 The Great and The Good
Rating: M just to be safe but it really needs a sap rating of way too much LOL
Summary: Laura's worried as Robbie throws himself into another case after Cooper's letter. As she tries to get him to relax their relationship takes a turn.
Note: As always I thank my partner in crime mightyoneslover. You'll never know how much you've helped me. Thanks buddy.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, just having fun
Cross-posted to not_just_lewis and inspector_lewis
I stand outside his office just watching, contemplating these feelings that I can no longer deny. I know with a certainty that I care deeply for Robert Lewis. I’m not sure if I’d call it love. It could be but I don’t think he’s ready for that. I’m not even sure I’d be ready for it. He’s a wonderful friend and I wouldn’t want anything to jeopardize that relationship.
“Laura,” he says breaking through my repose, “you don’t have to stand out there all night. You’re welcome to come in.”
Smiling I say, “I didn’t want to disturb you.” Knowing full well he’s pouring over the Jane “Penny” Doe case. It’s all he’s been working on in his free time for the past four months. At least that’s what Hathaway’s been saying at our pub meet ups. Somehow Jim’s taken to frequenting the same pub I do for weeks now. I didn’t suspect anything at first. Now though I think the Sergeant’s more than a little concerned for his boss and his obsession with this poor girl. Tonight he finally came out and asked me to look in on Robbie.
“It was that damned Cooper. After that letter about his wife I think he used the case to distract himself and it got out of control.” Hathaway told me.
I would have to agree. Penny Doe was a teenaged girl found naked and beaten to death in a ditch by a farmer. She’d been brutally raped and almost all of the officers involved in her case were affected. She had no identification and no one had come forward to claim her. A PC had found a necklace with the letter “P” by the scene. It was nothing special, a cheaply made unremarkable piece of jewelry. Another PC said she looked like a Penny and that was how everyone started to refer to her. That was a difficult post mortem. I’ve never been able to handle children well. She was a beautiful young lady who someone has to have missed.
I walk in and sit at Hathaway’s desk, turning to face Robbie. He’s intent again on the files. When I first met him years ago he was so unlike his superior at the time. I’d say the total opposite of Morse. I can’t say that for the man sitting before me now. I see glimpses of the old Robbie, the innocent boyishness every so often but the bitter, solitary nature of his former Chief Inspector seems to have taken up residence.
I can’t blame Robbie. With all that has happened what else is to be expected? How do you survive when the one you love deeply is taken from you so tragically? I know from remarks he’s made that alcohol helped him at first then he tried running away. Two years in the sun and I don’t think it helped as much as he thought it might. One day, if I get enough courage, I’ll ask why he choose to return.
“What brings you to the station tonight?” he asks not looking up.
What indeed? I know it’s more than just Hathaway’s concern. I’m concerned but how do I tell him? I’ve known him for so long. When we met I’d been dating another of his supers. Marty Johnson. What a huge mistake that turned out to be. I did always seem to have a thing for policemen. After we got to know one another I would go out with Val and him. It sounds so adolescent but which ever of his colleagues I was dating we’d double sometimes. It was always fun. I never gave much thought about Robbie in those days. He was Morse’s married Sergeant, the junior officer who shared some laughs with me at his DCI’s expense. Later he became Val’s husband.
I decide to answer him with a bit of truth. “Hathaway’s worried about you. He thinks you need to take a step back from the case. Get out more.”
Looking up he smiles. “Me? Get out more? I think my Sergeant might need to take some of his own advice.”
I can’t stop myself from smiling. It’s always infectious when Robbie smiles and it’s such a rare occurrence these days.
“Well, just so you know he has, I just came from having a drink with him. It’s become a weekly thing with us.”
I watch as an eyebrow raises and he smiles at me again. We sit there for awhile in silence. It could be another sign of how things have changed for me. I’m more than content to just sit quietly with him. He leans back in his chair sighing heavily. The restlessness returns leaving Robbie behind. DI Lewis is all that remains.
“I think Hathaway may be on to something. You need a break.”
This gets another raised eyebrow prompting me to stand and walk behind him. Placing my hands on his shoulders I continue, “Don’t argue. I know about the insomnia. Not sleeping can’t be good for your back either.”
Leaning his head back he looks up at me, “Just how much do you and Jim talk about me?”
How I don’t lean down and give in to the urge to kiss him is something I’ll never figure out. Especially when he stills my hands, hands that have been kneading tense muscles and brings one to his cheek. The contact only lasts a few seconds but gives me hope.
Stepping back I speak with an even clear voice despite the fluttering I feel throughout my entire body. “Come on let’s go to a film. A comedy. You need some mindless entertainment. Then we’ll go back to your place and I’ll cook you dinner.”
He stands and I brace for the argument to come. “You didn’t have to stop with the massage. I was enjoying it.” Flirting? “Maybe after supper?”
I can’t help but roll my eyes which earns a small smirk from the detective. I decide to ignore it for now.
“We don’t want to miss the trailers. Let’s go.” I tell him as he grabs his jacket and we head to the theater.
*****
“Laura that film was . . .” he stops, searching for the right word. His brow furrows as he mind works. I’ve seen that look many times, “terrible.”
“That’s all you could come up with?” I laugh and take his hand.
“It’s all it deserves.” I’m rewarded with a big smile from him as we walk towards his place.
“You were laughing several times I seem to recall Inspector. In fact I could produce at least several witnesses who heard you and asked you to ‘please be quiet’.”
He laughs and stops us at a corner. A chill passes through me, one I don’t get to think on too much as he puts his jacket over my shoulders.
“Cold?” he asks.
“Not really.” I answer growing quickly accustomed to the wonderful scent that is Robbie. A combination of soap, water and something unmistakably him.
He pulls the jacket tighter around me. What a perfect time to pull his head towards mine . . .
Robbie surprises me by putting his lips against mine. I don’t hesitate one moment placing my arms around him. His jacket falls to the ground as I pull him as close to me as is allowed in such a public setting.
I breathe his name against his lips as they part mine. He tastes of buttered popcorn and chocolate. Delicious.
How long we kiss for I don’t know. I’ve thought of how a first kiss would be for quite some time so it’s understandable I’d lose track of time. To be honest if we weren’t discussing a case I’ve thought of little else when we were together. It was getting quite distracting.
I run my hand up under the back of his shirt when a loud cough interrupts us. Someone is going to get a right old bollocking.
“Sir, ma’am I think you two are old enough to know this kind of thing is frowned upon.”
Old? Yes I’m going to let who ever this idiot is have it.
I can feel Robbie’s smile as he pulls back opening his eyes slowly. He turns to face whoever it is taking my hand as I pull down the back of his shirt.
The officer, who couldn’t be more than a teenager, coughs an apology as he sees exactly who he’s talking to, “Inspector, Sir, Doctor excuse me, I’m so sorry.”
Even with the low light I can see the young man’s face is crimson. He’s still mumbling as bends to pick up Robbie’s jacket. Dusting it off before handing it back to his superior.
“Carter would you stop apologizing. Dr. Hobson and I were just on our way.”
“Thank you Sir. Doctor. I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening.”
“Don’t worry Constable just doing your duty.”
“Yes sir. Thank you Sir.” The boy repeats as we walk away.
I let us walk for a few minutes before pulling on his arm to stop us. Just what exactly happened I wonder? Out of the blue Robbie Lewis just gave me a toe curler of a kiss and I really have no idea why. I look at him trying to find an answer. He leans towards me again.
“Robbie?” is all I get to say as his lips brush against my ear.
“I did that because I secretly love you.” He whispers then pulls back and his face lights up. “C’mon you owe me supper.”
*****
“I’m glad I cleaned up a bit this morning.” Robbie says to me as he unlocks the door to his flat.
“I wouldn’t think you’d be here long enough to make a mess.”
“Funny.” He says with a hint of an eye roll but gives me a small smile.
His hand on the small of my back he guides me into the kitchen area and living room, switching on the lights. The place is small. I guess what you’d call cozy. In the corner is a bookshelf with a picture of him and Val. What the hell was I thinking?
“I’m starving. I don’t think I need to show you were the kitchen is.” He tells me beginning to go back down the hall, he motions at another door. “I’m going to use the . . .”
I just smile as he closes the door behind him.
Before heading into the kitchen curiosity gets the better of me. Placing his jacket on the sofa I move to the bookshelf. Its contents surprise me. Various types of novels and DVD’s line the shelves, comedies, spy thrillers, horror, a love story. Love story? The CD’s also a variety. More classical then I’d expect to find. Morse’s influence no doubt.
I pick up the frame with the picture of him and Val. Both are smiling broadly, holding one another. Has it been long enough for Robbie? He did just kiss me and it wasn’t a peck. It was a passionate, make me weak in the knee’s kiss. A kiss for lovers. Am I trying to compete I ask myself? Will I be battling ghosts? What the hell am I thinking?
“Laura?” Robbie says from the hall doorway. Tie gone, collar unbuttoned, sleeves rolled up. Looking more relaxed than I’ve seen him in months.
“Sorry.” I tell him putting the frame back in its place.
“It’s not a problem.” He tells me as he walks towards me. I see in his eyes it really isn’t, “Now what about supper?”
Following him into the small kitchen area he begins showing me where things are located. The cabinets and fridge are fully stocked and I can’t help but be impressed.
“You never cease to amaze me.” I tell him, “That’s a lot of food for one person”
“I got tired of ‘pierce and ping’.”
“What?”
“Nothing.” He whispers then opens the fridge getting a bottle of beer, “I had the time on my hands to learn how to cook.”
He pours me a glass and comes to stand in front of me. I take the glass and drink a little, “Well it certainly looks like you are reaping the benefits of this new found knowledge.” I can’t help but tease and place my hand on his stomach.
“I can’t help it if I like to eat. Val was the one to always make sure our meals were healthy.” He voice cracks somewhat and I feel my heart tighten.
“Robbie,” I begin.
“I’m all right.” He says placing his hand over mine. “Really. I’m all right now.”
Putting my glass down I move my arm around his neck. “I think I’d agree.”
He leans down kissing me slightly. I take his bottom lip between my teeth. I’m not letting him get away. His glass joins mine on the counter as he crushes me to the sink. My hands go through his hair, down his back, cupping him to me. I can feel his arousal against my thigh as he sucks my tongue into his mouth. I want nothing more than to rip his clothes off and have him make love to me right there, on the counter. I put a little space between us and start to undo the buttons of his shirt. Skin to skin is the only destination I’ll accept at this moment. His hands move to the zipper of my pants when his blasted mobile goes off.
“Dammit!” We say in unison.
Breathless he answers and I hear a one sided conversation of yes ma’am’s and no ma’am’s. Work of course. Always bloody work.
“You will not believe this.”
“Try me.” I say finally having regained my composure.
“That was Innocent.”
“Where do we need to go? I’d hope we get at least one night free.”
“We will. Innocent’s asked me to go pick up Hathaway. I guess he got a little pissed and caused something of a scene.”
“What?”
“I’m not sure exactly what happened. She just wants me to get him before he gets into real trouble.”
“I’ll walk back to the station with you to get my car.”
“What about my supper?” he asks and I just stand there not saying a word, “You could stay here. I don’t think I’ll be that long. I’ll pick Jim up, get him to bed and be right back.”
“Are you certain?”
He answers by running his hand tentatively over the front of my blouse. I stop his hand against my left breast, against the rapid beating of my heart. He kisses me again speaking against my lips. “I’d like you to stay.”
I look deep into his eyes and see the moment’s hesitation. Does he think he’s saying what I want to hear? Does he understand the depth of my feelings? Letting go of his hand I pull him into a hug. I’ve got to make him understand.
“I didn’t intend to seduce you Robbie.” I tell him as he pulls back.
“I know.” He answers looking to the floor.
“I don’t want you getting hurt.”
“No, no that’s not it.” He says looking up at me. Those piercing blue eyes of his filling with unshed tears. “I just never expected . . .”
He stops. I know this has to be difficult for him. Robert Lewis doesn’t strike me as someone who does well expressing his feelings verbally. He is after all just a man.
“After Val’s death,” he starts over, “I never thought much about finding someone I’d love again. When I was sober and able to think straight I counted myself lucky to have had Val. It’s just a bit overwhelming to feel this way again.”
I let out the breath I’ve been holding. I’m smiling so wide my head is starting to ache. This is definitely not how I thought the evening would end. I started tonight content to cook a meal for the man I’ve grown to love. Then go home and continue our relationship as it’s been for years. Yet again he has surprised me.
“Will you stay?” he asks and I realize I haven’t said a word concerning his declaration. The hesitation has now been replaced with fear. Fear of rejection I guess. I don’t know for sure. I do know I’m going to love finding out the many facets of Robbie Lewis.
I don’t say anything deciding actions will speak more than any frivolous words I can think up. I pull him close, holding on to him tightly. Hands move to his hair, so soft. I pull his head towards mine. Kissing once softly, twice a little harder, thrice parting his lips. He’s responding to each kiss and I know I won’t be able hold back any longer.
Breaking our kiss I speak with an urgency I feel in the pit of my stomach, “Hurry back, please hurry.”
He begins to laugh. I know if I could see myself, out of breath, face red, entire body tingling from the tips of my toes to the top of my head I would laugh as well. But all I can see is his happiness and that warms me even more.
“I guess I waited too long to tell you how I felt.”
Shaking my head at him I say, “I could have said something. I am normally a woman who knows her own mind.”
“A very sexy mind,” Robbie says leaning in to kiss me again.
I stop him, “No don’t start again. Go and get Jim then get your arse back here.”
“Laura.”
“What? After all this time I think a little coarse language is allowed. Besides I can get supper ready while you’re gone.”
“Surprisingly I’m not really all that hungry any more.”
“Me neither. At least not for food.” There’s no mistaking the need in my voice. We are both silent and he moves to get his keys and jacket. Right now nothing more needs to be said. I’m certain there will be time for words. Sentimental words, words of longing, of love but right now one friend needs another.
“I better go get Hathaway.”
He starts walking down the hall when I decide to voice one more question.
“Robbie.”
“Yeah?”
“Not that I’m complaining but why did you finally kiss me?”
Hand on the doorknob he turns and walks back to me. Taking my face in his hands his eyes meet mine, “I’ve been imaging it for some time. I just got tired of not knowing what it was like.”
He kisses the tip of my nose leaving before anything more can be said. I stand alone in Robbie’s flat, the hum of the refrigerator my only companion. His answer is another pleasant surprise and puts my mind at ease. To know he’s been thinking of our relationship in this new context for some time is something I could never have wished for. I bring my hands to my lips still tingling from his touch. I’ve suddenly become restless. Sitting on the sofa I grab the remote turning on the television. Hoping it helps to pass the time until he returns.
I look again at the photograph of him and Val. His face so full of love. Just a few moments ago I saw that same look directed at me. At the beginning of this evening I was unsure what to call my feelings. The idea of using the word love frightened me. I feared losing what had become special between us. I should know by now not to underestimate him. Robbie Lewis loves me and I love him. I'm just glad the secret is finally out.