unconditional love and other adventures

[houselikealotus]

Edit: I changed the date on this to bump it up the queue because I am enjoying the commentatious discussion. Now it shan't be lost in the hubbub. Otherwise, nothing else has changed.The problem with unconditional love is that it has no conditions. Even when people do really horrible things to you, you go right on caring for them, despite the

Comments

[shard83]

I think the allure comes from the intrinsic romanticism of that ideal. Unconditional love just seems like the most romantic thing you can do (I blame Shakespeare), so many of us aspire to it, for reasons we can’t explain. Maybe if people could love themselves unconditionally and love others no more than reason, the world would be a better place.

And to give you a chuckle, I have no idea how to iron clothing.

[farrow]

personally i always felt the bard did a decent job making unconditional love look like a crackpot idea that serves no one well in the end.

oh, and lest i forget: HAHAHA mama's boy.

[shard83]

I suppose. Maybe has been everybody since the Bard who has just failed to get the joke.

And to continue the duality of our postings, my mom does not iron. Kelley irons, but not my mom. If I ever need to get a wrinkle out I just throw that piece of clothing in the dryer for 10 to 15 minutes. Lazy, but effective.

[monrovianvogue]

"mama's boy" was my first thought as well, but then i imagined the derisive belly-laugh that would issue from ms. hardgrove if sean tried to get her to iron for him past, say, the age of 10. heh.

[flamingophoenix]

I don't generally think unconditional love is possible, except with God.

[houselikealotus]

Do you mean that God loves us unconditionally? Or that we love God unconditionally? What if someone doesn't believe in God? Does this mean that they will never feel unconditional love?

[flamingophoenix]

I mean that only something non-human could honestly feel unconditional love. I don't think it's such a good thing, really. I mean, Spino "unconditionally loves" Julia, and you see how fucking scary that is.

I mean, I could see the appeal of having a person love me even if I raped and murdered an orphanage, but in such a situation (assuming I retained independent thought), I wouldn't love myself, and I would be absolutely horrified that anyone would love me. I would, in fact, consider the act of loving me to be wrong. So no, I think that unconditional love is trouble.

Nearly-unconditional is the way to go. That would be loving someone almost no matter what--basically, loving them despite their human imperfections.

p.s. I'm seriously weirded out by the idea of God loving an orphanage-raper-murderer, too. I need to think about this more.

p.p.s. I think I have a different definition of God than I used to.

[wondershot]

Unconditional Love is impractical, painful and ultimately leads to the destruction of anyone who practices it at its highest level. It's like wearing a shirt of flame. It just makes no sense whatsoever.

And that's why it works! Love is also the only way to make things work, it covers over a world of pain and ultimately leads to the actualization of anyone who practices it at its highest level. If people don't love, they die everyday freezing over. If people love, they end up killing themselves everyday in a kind of sacrificial fire. It's very frustrating.

If either way we're going to die, it would be better to go the love route. Not loving has more payoffs in the present, but loving now is better in the longrun. It makes everything better in the longrun, but not loving is part of everything tht's wrong with the world.

I don't think you're stupid. You learned some stuff, right? And it felt good at the time? Just move on and don't let it happen again. What a clusterfuck though-- I hope you feel lots better.

[wondershot]

Maybe i wrote that too quickly. I'm sorry if it sounded flip-- really it wasn't.

[farrow]

everyone picture andrew in a shirt of flame!

oooooooh.

[wondershot]

hahahahaha FWOOSH HUMAN TORCH