(no subject)
I'm a little silly most of the time.
i know Kevin loves me. i love him too. I just have such a huge thing about trust after eVeRyThInG thats happened in my past.
I'm always looking for the drama in everything. turning tiny things into huge things, it annoys the fuck out of me. especially considering how full and amazing i felt right at the start. i still feel that, but it continually gets beaten down by paranoia and worry.
I don't want to say, "Fuck it whatever happens, happens". because i dont want that, i odn't want to loose Kevin, although this attitude doesn't help much.i kow i'm making excuses for me now but they are bit valid. I promised t trust Kevin, and i feel like ive let myself let both of us down a little.
No more drama, no more jealousy. Got to trust. Do trust.