Compliments 101

[howtodateababe]

Compliments are good openers.

They open conversations, doors, legs…

There is a bit of a knack to handing out really good compliments, so I’m going to try and give you a run down of the right and wrong ways to compliment someone.

Once you get the basics down, you’ll find this is much easier than you think it is and its so gloriously effective, if

Comments

[novahedonist]

Hmm... I will have to do more of that...

Now when I get compliments from women... Should I attach a meaning to that? It's happened twice in the last week from women at work! :-)

- Daniel

[howtodateababe]

Women compliment each other A LOT.

It would be unusual for me to meet up with a group of my girlfriends without getting one or two compliments right off the bat.

On the other hand, men tend to compliment when they want something (sex) or not at all. That means guys often get the wrong idea when a woman compliments them. It IS friendly, it just may not be sexual.

I compliment my male friends a lot because 1) they have dismal egos and they need all the stroking they can get or 2) they’re gay and they bitch if I don’t.

The general rule of thumb is if a woman touches you a lot, she’s interested. If they’re putting their hands on your shoulders or touching your sleeves while they’re complimenting you, its all systems go.

[_4cryingoutloud]

Wow, this journal is like a godsend. I've been having nothing but problems in the dating world. More often than not, I'm passed off as the lovable, huggable big brother type, and not the love interest or potential significant other. I'm one of those guys that has always deemed themselves a "nice guy" that gets overlooked. It wasn't until recently that I figured out what was happening. I was putting myself there. I might as well have stamped "wipe feet here" across my goddamn forehead

[howtodateababe]

I’m deeply ashamed to say I spelt my own email wrong

[writerwench]

Girl, you been reading heartless-bitches.com? This is most excellent stuff, and very well expressed - and courteous, too.

I've also been rejected by men who decide that the confidence and self-reliance they initially found sexy is, on closer acquaintance, intimidating. Hell, I was completely self-reliant and celibate for eight years after the divorce...

With you totally on the Alpha Male thing. I hate braggarts and cocky swaggers, but a quiet self-confidence and steady conduct have me Interested.

[howtodateababe]

I'm pretty much terrifying (for men) the moment I meet them. I might as well have a shark coming out of my vagina.

When I'm dating I'm a real pussy-cat. Snuggling and movies are my perfect Sunday. Sadly most guys assume I spend my weekends wrestling tigers and fighting nazis.

Some day soon another clever guy with show up with popcorn under one arm and horror dvds under the other. Grin.

[mamoruguardian]

I'd first like to personally thank you for including transmen in your list of guys who may need help getting a girl, it made me feel good to see that you're willing to help any-bodied male =P

Sadly after reading this post I realized I have fallen victim to thinking that most compliments are sexual or that they have a deeper meaning than "oh that shirt looks good on you." For example I just started transitioning in February and I decided to cut my hair short; after posting photos on my facebook an old high school friend of mine, who I dated at one point, said "Just thought I'd tell you I'm a big fan of your new pictures. The haircut looks really good on you!" The first thought I honestly had was, oh wow she thinks I look good, maybe she has feelings for me again. I can NOW see that's not the case.

I'm definitely going to be keeping an eye on your journal since I may have a lot to learn.

Jayson

[howtodateababe]

Glad to have you onboard.

about compliments

[jreacher]

I've heard it said and emphatically agree that:
1. Pretty girls want to be told they are smart
2. Smart girls want to be told they are pretty
3. All girls want to be told they're thin (although usually by girlfriends; not guys).

Re: about compliments

[howtodateababe]

The trick is in HOW you tell them...

[swings]

I'm a woman that is thoroughly enjoying your posts.

That said, I have to critique the colour choice -- purple? Honestly? Can you find something a little more reader friendly?

Enjoying your column,
Sophia

[howtodateababe]

One of my male buddies complained about the purple. It's just a standard live journal theme, but I can change it.

Any suggestions?

[swings]

Something neutral like grey or white. That way, it's easy on the eyes.

Thanks again,
Sophia

[howtodateababe]

I still want it to be a little girly. However I can certainly dull the shades. I'll play with it today and you can tell me what you think!