I often feel as though I have only two choices: I can feel constantly guilty for who I am... or I can binge and/or purge to take my mind off of this feeling. I know how unhealthy the latter is. I wish that I could find a way to feel, at the least, that it's okay to be who I am. But the entire base of my guilt is founded in my weight. So unless I
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found u on the friends page of Ed_recovery... i feel like this:
It doesn't make me good enough or attractive or take away what a fat embarrassment I must be to those around me. I don't know how to remove my value of self from the number on my scale. gah, this is something i deal with every day. i hate going out with my boyfriend, because i am scared that people will wonder why he's with me. i have spent days, weeks, months on the fringes of social gatherings because i don't feel good/pretty/tiny enough to participate. i constantly compare myself to other girls, and take deep interest in the shapes of those i would like to be ( ... )
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