FIC: "Inhale. Exhale. This Is What's Called Protocol." for stephanometra
Title: Inhale. Exhale. This Is What's Called Protocol.
Author/Artist: ???
Recipient's name: Stephanometra.
Characters/Pairings: Bellatrix/Narcissa
Rating: R
Summary: A slightly psychotic Bella has just gotten out of
Azkaban and misses her sister.
Warnings: Incest, but that goes without saying. A tiny bit of
bondage and breathplay. Abuse of the present tense?
Where I'm supposed to be is some ancient pureblood family gathering,
exchanging simpering smiles with the other women while the men brag on
and on about all the contacts they have, who they're in control of at
the Ministry, and how really everything is all about them.
I'm standing near a window pretending to listen to my husband's
brother talk while watching my sister hang on her husband's arm and
laugh in all the right places. My sister, picture perfect, a vision
of blond hair and blue eyes, curved everywhere a woman should curve,
beautiful. I stand across the room and watch as she runs through the
motions of Wonderful Wife and Doting Mother. They're acts she's
managed to perfect over the years and tonight she plays them with
aplomb.
She glances across the room towards me, my husband chooses that moment
to say something particularly stupid and I abandon all the protocol I
was ever taught and announce that I need a drink.
* * *
It was always awkward at first. She leans into me all elbows,
angles and bashful looks and slowly raises her lips to meet mine. The
kisses seem to last forever and I can never tell where I end and she
begins.
She is light where I am dark, curved where I am flat and for the
longest time I swear we are two halves of the same person.
She wraps her arms around me and holds me tight as I make love to her.
She moans my name - "Bella!" - when she comes and I think, "This must
be what Muggle heaven is like."
* * *
She sees me coming, drink in hand, and as she wrinkles her nose in
disgust I can only imagine what she thinks of me.
"Bellatrix." Her voice is guarded but I'm not surprised, it has been
years since we were anything other than civil to each other.
"Cissy," my voice almost chokes over the word but I remember myself
and cough to cover it. I smile, fake and bright, and she almost takes
a step backward. I look the way a corpse would look if the person
died with a grin on their face. A rigor mortis smile.
"Could I have a word?" According to protocol this is Correct and for
a moment I'm pleased with myself before I remember I gave up on that
long ago in Azkaban.
She glances at her husband and then nods once and follows me out of
the door and into an empty room. She leaves the door open.
* * *
It was always easy to find time to be together at school. We were
in the same house and no one thought it odd if we occasionally stayed
in each other's dormitories.
"Oh God… Bella. Fuck."
She is tied to the headboard with our school ties, Slytherin green at
each wrist, and fuck, she has never looked more beautiful.
"Inhale," I tell her and she sucks in a breath. "Don't breathe out
until I tell you."
Her eyes widen but she does as I say. I grin and kiss her again,
holding her tight with one arm as she reaches her climax.
"Exhale." She breathes out and I feel her twitch against my hand.
She lies panting, my fingers still inside her and neither of us want
to move.
Silence. Inhale. Exhale.
I kiss her again and slowly withdraw my fingers. She is on top of me
as soon as I release her wrists from their bindings.
"We'll find a way to be together when we're older won't we? Even when
we're married we'll still be together like this."
I nod, and she smiles and sinks down to kiss me again.
* * *
"What's wrong Bellatrix?" She sounds tired and I don't blame her.
This is the latest in a long line of social faux pas.
Now that she's here I have no idea what to say to her. I take a
mouthful of my drink to stall for time and watch her over the top of
my glass. According to protocol this is Incorrect. One should always
know what to say to one's guests.
Inhale. Exhale. The silence stretches between us and I can tell
she's annoyed. Pretty soon she makes a move for the door. "If
you're not going to talk to me I'm going back to Lucius!"
"So you can fuck him and forget about me again?" The words are out of
my mouth before I can stop them and she stops half out of the door.
"Is that what you think happened?"
It did happen. I know what happened.
"Bellatrix, I -"
"Stop calling me that! I'm Bella! I'm your Bella." I'm ashamed to
feel the tears in my eyes and I turn away and wipe at them furiously.
When I look up again she's standing right next to me and the door is
closed.
"Bella, I never forgot about you." She's close, closer and it was
always awkward at first. Elbows and angles, bashful looks and we're
teenagers again kissing for the first time.
"I never forgot about you." She keeps repeating the words as she
fumbles her way inside my robes and I start to believe her. I moan as
her thumb brushes against my nipple and again as her hand slides down
my body.
Her fingers inside me feel the same way that they always did and I
missed this, fuck, I missed this and I want to believe the words she's
telling me. ("I never forgot about…")
It doesn't take long, pretty soon I'm coming and calling her name and
then she isn't there, she's against the door and I know how this is
going to go.
* * *
"We can't do this anymore, Bella! You have a husband and I have
husband! We can't keep playing at this!"
As my world comes crashing down around me I swear this must be what
it's like to be under Imperius - screaming and screaming inside but
unable to say anything out loud.
"This isn't proper, Bella! It's not right!" Like suddenly protocol
is her biggest problem. "I'm sorry."
Inhale. Exhale. And this is how I became who I am today: that night
my husband and I ran into a couple of old school friends, and within a
week we were in Azkaban. It is nearly thirteen years before I see her
again.
* * *
I watch my sister walk out the door for the second time as I button up
my robes. I reach for my wand and within seconds I'm at Spinner's End
kicking the furniture and throwing things at Wormtail.
He has barricaded himself upstairs by the time I stop cursing things
and blasting the chairs. I collapse into one of the old armchairs,
inhale, exhale, and realise that I'll probably have to put a memory
charm on him to make him forget this. It wouldn't do to have him
telling people that Bellatrix Lestrange is an emotional wreck.
Like suddenly protocol is my biggest problem.
Collapsed in my chair at Spinner's End, I don't see Cissy come back
into the room or stop dead when she sees I'm not there. I don't see
the tears in her eyes as she leaves, or realise that the reason she
goes back to Lucius is because I'm not there.
Inhale. Exhale. And whichever way you look at it this has always
been all my fault.
Author/Artist: ???
Recipient's name: Stephanometra.
Characters/Pairings: Bellatrix/Narcissa
Rating: R
Summary: A slightly psychotic Bella has just gotten out of
Azkaban and misses her sister.
Warnings: Incest, but that goes without saying. A tiny bit of
bondage and breathplay. Abuse of the present tense?
Where I'm supposed to be is some ancient pureblood family gathering,
exchanging simpering smiles with the other women while the men brag on
and on about all the contacts they have, who they're in control of at
the Ministry, and how really everything is all about them.
I'm standing near a window pretending to listen to my husband's
brother talk while watching my sister hang on her husband's arm and
laugh in all the right places. My sister, picture perfect, a vision
of blond hair and blue eyes, curved everywhere a woman should curve,
beautiful. I stand across the room and watch as she runs through the
motions of Wonderful Wife and Doting Mother. They're acts she's
managed to perfect over the years and tonight she plays them with
aplomb.
She glances across the room towards me, my husband chooses that moment
to say something particularly stupid and I abandon all the protocol I
was ever taught and announce that I need a drink.
* * *
It was always awkward at first. She leans into me all elbows,
angles and bashful looks and slowly raises her lips to meet mine. The
kisses seem to last forever and I can never tell where I end and she
begins.
She is light where I am dark, curved where I am flat and for the
longest time I swear we are two halves of the same person.
She wraps her arms around me and holds me tight as I make love to her.
She moans my name - "Bella!" - when she comes and I think, "This must
be what Muggle heaven is like."
* * *
She sees me coming, drink in hand, and as she wrinkles her nose in
disgust I can only imagine what she thinks of me.
"Bellatrix." Her voice is guarded but I'm not surprised, it has been
years since we were anything other than civil to each other.
"Cissy," my voice almost chokes over the word but I remember myself
and cough to cover it. I smile, fake and bright, and she almost takes
a step backward. I look the way a corpse would look if the person
died with a grin on their face. A rigor mortis smile.
"Could I have a word?" According to protocol this is Correct and for
a moment I'm pleased with myself before I remember I gave up on that
long ago in Azkaban.
She glances at her husband and then nods once and follows me out of
the door and into an empty room. She leaves the door open.
* * *
It was always easy to find time to be together at school. We were
in the same house and no one thought it odd if we occasionally stayed
in each other's dormitories.
"Oh God… Bella. Fuck."
She is tied to the headboard with our school ties, Slytherin green at
each wrist, and fuck, she has never looked more beautiful.
"Inhale," I tell her and she sucks in a breath. "Don't breathe out
until I tell you."
Her eyes widen but she does as I say. I grin and kiss her again,
holding her tight with one arm as she reaches her climax.
"Exhale." She breathes out and I feel her twitch against my hand.
She lies panting, my fingers still inside her and neither of us want
to move.
Silence. Inhale. Exhale.
I kiss her again and slowly withdraw my fingers. She is on top of me
as soon as I release her wrists from their bindings.
"We'll find a way to be together when we're older won't we? Even when
we're married we'll still be together like this."
I nod, and she smiles and sinks down to kiss me again.
* * *
"What's wrong Bellatrix?" She sounds tired and I don't blame her.
This is the latest in a long line of social faux pas.
Now that she's here I have no idea what to say to her. I take a
mouthful of my drink to stall for time and watch her over the top of
my glass. According to protocol this is Incorrect. One should always
know what to say to one's guests.
Inhale. Exhale. The silence stretches between us and I can tell
she's annoyed. Pretty soon she makes a move for the door. "If
you're not going to talk to me I'm going back to Lucius!"
"So you can fuck him and forget about me again?" The words are out of
my mouth before I can stop them and she stops half out of the door.
"Is that what you think happened?"
It did happen. I know what happened.
"Bellatrix, I -"
"Stop calling me that! I'm Bella! I'm your Bella." I'm ashamed to
feel the tears in my eyes and I turn away and wipe at them furiously.
When I look up again she's standing right next to me and the door is
closed.
"Bella, I never forgot about you." She's close, closer and it was
always awkward at first. Elbows and angles, bashful looks and we're
teenagers again kissing for the first time.
"I never forgot about you." She keeps repeating the words as she
fumbles her way inside my robes and I start to believe her. I moan as
her thumb brushes against my nipple and again as her hand slides down
my body.
Her fingers inside me feel the same way that they always did and I
missed this, fuck, I missed this and I want to believe the words she's
telling me. ("I never forgot about…")
It doesn't take long, pretty soon I'm coming and calling her name and
then she isn't there, she's against the door and I know how this is
going to go.
* * *
"We can't do this anymore, Bella! You have a husband and I have
husband! We can't keep playing at this!"
As my world comes crashing down around me I swear this must be what
it's like to be under Imperius - screaming and screaming inside but
unable to say anything out loud.
"This isn't proper, Bella! It's not right!" Like suddenly protocol
is her biggest problem. "I'm sorry."
Inhale. Exhale. And this is how I became who I am today: that night
my husband and I ran into a couple of old school friends, and within a
week we were in Azkaban. It is nearly thirteen years before I see her
again.
* * *
I watch my sister walk out the door for the second time as I button up
my robes. I reach for my wand and within seconds I'm at Spinner's End
kicking the furniture and throwing things at Wormtail.
He has barricaded himself upstairs by the time I stop cursing things
and blasting the chairs. I collapse into one of the old armchairs,
inhale, exhale, and realise that I'll probably have to put a memory
charm on him to make him forget this. It wouldn't do to have him
telling people that Bellatrix Lestrange is an emotional wreck.
Like suddenly protocol is my biggest problem.
Collapsed in my chair at Spinner's End, I don't see Cissy come back
into the room or stop dead when she sees I'm not there. I don't see
the tears in her eyes as she leaves, or realise that the reason she
goes back to Lucius is because I'm not there.
Inhale. Exhale. And whichever way you look at it this has always
been all my fault.