Just Another Day Chapter 4
Ok This is the first time I've done this, so I hope it turns out alright. Here's the 4th Chapter for Just Another Day. Sorry it took so long, but I only found out that I was to write this chapter late last week. It's my first try so go easy on me... Enjoy!
Chapter 4
Severus and Sirius entered the Burrow once again to watch the feasting that was going on. Severus noticed with a scowl that Harry had been placed next to Charlie in the seating arrangements. Charlie seemed to have no objections with this and was being a little “too” friendly in Severus’ opinion.
Sirius laughed at Severus. “Well at least Charlie would actually attend this sort of thing. Maybe it’s all for the best!” Sirius teased.
Severus saw red as he watched Charlie lean over to whisper something into Harry’s ear. Even though he was on the other side of the room, it seemed that Charlie’s voice had been magnified, but it seemed that no one else in the room could hear.
“You know Harry, I could make you happy. It’s obvious that you love Snape more than he loves you. He didn’t even come tonight. Let me show you what it’s like to be loved,” Charlie said.
Harry smiled, though it was obvious there were tears welling in his eyes at the words.
“Thanks Charlie,” he said, reaching over and touching Charlie’s arm tenderly.
This was too much for Severus. He lunged over the table at the couple, but only succeeded in falling straight through them and onto the floor on the other side. He turned furiously to try again, but was startled to realise he was back in the dungeons. The fire was turning to embers and he couldn’t see Sirius anywhere.
It was just a dream, he thought. He laughed out loud in relief.
“Just a dream,” he muttered into the darkness.
“You wish!” a whispered voice replied.
He spun around quickly and found himself face to face with a cloaked figure.
“Black?” he asked nervously.
The figure chuckled softly.
“He took too long. It’s my turn now,” the figure whispered, grabbing hold of him and muttering, “Viator memoriter.” The scene changed rapidly and Severus found himself in a lounge room, decorated in blue and cream. Severus looked around the room and walked over to a photo on the mantel. The picture was of a young girl, maybe six or seven. She was grinning from ear to ear and waving. A tall, red head that Severus recognised immediately came up behind the little girl and wrapped his arms around her. The girl looked up at him and gave him a kiss on the cheek before turning back and waving at Severus.
Severus pulled his eyes away from the photo to look at the figure standing in the middle of the room.
“What are we doing here?” he demanded. The figure said nothing, but motioned at the door. Severus looked over to where the figure had pointed and watched as a raven haired man walked in and dumped a heap of books onto the couch.
The man ran his fingers through his hair with a sigh and sunk into the armchair. Severus felt a pang inside as he watched Harry stretch out his tired muscles.
He had aged, Severus noted immediately. There were lines in his face that hadn’t been there that morning, and he seemed to be better built, rather than the slight seeker frame that he had in his youth. He looked good, Severus noted with approval.
The phone rang, breaking Severus’ train of thought and piercing through the silence that Harry had obviously welcomed before. Harry got up with visible reluctance, and glanced at the caller ID before answering the phone.
“Charlie,” he answered curtly.
“Yes I’m fine, I’m going to get an early night.”
“Alright, well I’ll see you in the morning then. Give my love to everyone. Give Lillia a kiss for me.”
Harry hung up the phone and sighed. Severus didn’t have much time to contemplate the conversation, because Harry moved over to a desk in the corner and began writing in a leather bound journal that had been sitting on top of it. He leaned over to read what Harry was writing and noted with a silent snort that Harry’s writing was as messy as it had always been.
It’s all too much… Harry wrote. Severus raised an eyebrow as he kept reading.
I can’t do this anymore. I feel as if my heart has been shredded into a million pieces and no matter how hard those around me try, they can’t help me put it back together. I can’t live without him. He was the only thing that was keeping me together…
At this point a tear fell from Harry’s face. Severus watched in awe as Harry began writing again.
The pain that I feel is worse than any Cruciatus curse at the hands of Voldemort, or any neglect on the part of the Dursleys. And the pain gets worse every day that I go to work, because I have to see him there, not affected at all by our separation, while I am here, 7 years later, and barely keeping myself together enough to raise Lillia. She looks more like her other father every day, not that he would know. He hasn’t bothered to contact us at all. Charlie is the only other parent figure she knows. Merlin only knows what I would have done without him.
I wish that I could love Charlie the way that he loves me. He deserves to be loved in return, for all the kindness and forgiveness he has shown me in the past few years. I hope he will forgive me this as well…
Harry stopped for a moment here, holding his head in his hands as he tried to control his sobs. Severus watched, pained, as Harry got a hold of his emotions once again and continued writing.
I’m sorry, Charlie, that I couldn’t be the lover that you wanted me to be. I’m sorry I couldn’t give back to you all that you have given to me.
I’m sorry Lillia, for leaving you like this. I hope that you will find happiness despite my decisions. Charlie is a wonderful man and I know he will take good care of you.
I’m sorry Ron, and Hermione. I know you won’t understand, but I can’t live like this anymore. I can’t see any way out of this…
Most of all, I’m sorry Severus. I’m sorry for loving you, when I know that you could never love me in return. I’m sorry for trying to change you, and I’m sorry for leaving you like I did. I should have known that I wasn’t worth the effort of returning to.
This time when Harry put down the quill, he was shaking uncontrollably. Severus felt tears welling up in his own eyes as he read the last few sentences.
He saw out of the corner of his eye, that Harry was fumbling in his pockets for something. He pulled out a small vial of blue liquid and picked up the quill once more to write only one word.
Goodbye
With that, Harry dropped the quill and downed the vial of potion. Severus let out a strangled gasp and tried to reach for Harry, but to no avail, his hands went straight through. He tried again, letting out a pained groan as his hands once again, missed their target. On his third try, someone grabbed him. He stared up into the deep green eyes of the black cloaked figure.
“You can’t help him,” she said softly, withdrawing her hood so that he could see her face. It was a face that he recognised immediately and that caused a flood of conflicting emotions to run through him, almost causing him to stagger as a result of their intensity.
“Lily?” he asked weakly.
“Surprise Severus,” she replied darkly.
Chapter 4
Severus and Sirius entered the Burrow once again to watch the feasting that was going on. Severus noticed with a scowl that Harry had been placed next to Charlie in the seating arrangements. Charlie seemed to have no objections with this and was being a little “too” friendly in Severus’ opinion.
Sirius laughed at Severus. “Well at least Charlie would actually attend this sort of thing. Maybe it’s all for the best!” Sirius teased.
Severus saw red as he watched Charlie lean over to whisper something into Harry’s ear. Even though he was on the other side of the room, it seemed that Charlie’s voice had been magnified, but it seemed that no one else in the room could hear.
“You know Harry, I could make you happy. It’s obvious that you love Snape more than he loves you. He didn’t even come tonight. Let me show you what it’s like to be loved,” Charlie said.
Harry smiled, though it was obvious there were tears welling in his eyes at the words.
“Thanks Charlie,” he said, reaching over and touching Charlie’s arm tenderly.
This was too much for Severus. He lunged over the table at the couple, but only succeeded in falling straight through them and onto the floor on the other side. He turned furiously to try again, but was startled to realise he was back in the dungeons. The fire was turning to embers and he couldn’t see Sirius anywhere.
It was just a dream, he thought. He laughed out loud in relief.
“Just a dream,” he muttered into the darkness.
“You wish!” a whispered voice replied.
He spun around quickly and found himself face to face with a cloaked figure.
“Black?” he asked nervously.
The figure chuckled softly.
“He took too long. It’s my turn now,” the figure whispered, grabbing hold of him and muttering, “Viator memoriter.” The scene changed rapidly and Severus found himself in a lounge room, decorated in blue and cream. Severus looked around the room and walked over to a photo on the mantel. The picture was of a young girl, maybe six or seven. She was grinning from ear to ear and waving. A tall, red head that Severus recognised immediately came up behind the little girl and wrapped his arms around her. The girl looked up at him and gave him a kiss on the cheek before turning back and waving at Severus.
Severus pulled his eyes away from the photo to look at the figure standing in the middle of the room.
“What are we doing here?” he demanded. The figure said nothing, but motioned at the door. Severus looked over to where the figure had pointed and watched as a raven haired man walked in and dumped a heap of books onto the couch.
The man ran his fingers through his hair with a sigh and sunk into the armchair. Severus felt a pang inside as he watched Harry stretch out his tired muscles.
He had aged, Severus noted immediately. There were lines in his face that hadn’t been there that morning, and he seemed to be better built, rather than the slight seeker frame that he had in his youth. He looked good, Severus noted with approval.
The phone rang, breaking Severus’ train of thought and piercing through the silence that Harry had obviously welcomed before. Harry got up with visible reluctance, and glanced at the caller ID before answering the phone.
“Charlie,” he answered curtly.
“Yes I’m fine, I’m going to get an early night.”
“Alright, well I’ll see you in the morning then. Give my love to everyone. Give Lillia a kiss for me.”
Harry hung up the phone and sighed. Severus didn’t have much time to contemplate the conversation, because Harry moved over to a desk in the corner and began writing in a leather bound journal that had been sitting on top of it. He leaned over to read what Harry was writing and noted with a silent snort that Harry’s writing was as messy as it had always been.
It’s all too much… Harry wrote. Severus raised an eyebrow as he kept reading.
I can’t do this anymore. I feel as if my heart has been shredded into a million pieces and no matter how hard those around me try, they can’t help me put it back together. I can’t live without him. He was the only thing that was keeping me together…
At this point a tear fell from Harry’s face. Severus watched in awe as Harry began writing again.
The pain that I feel is worse than any Cruciatus curse at the hands of Voldemort, or any neglect on the part of the Dursleys. And the pain gets worse every day that I go to work, because I have to see him there, not affected at all by our separation, while I am here, 7 years later, and barely keeping myself together enough to raise Lillia. She looks more like her other father every day, not that he would know. He hasn’t bothered to contact us at all. Charlie is the only other parent figure she knows. Merlin only knows what I would have done without him.
I wish that I could love Charlie the way that he loves me. He deserves to be loved in return, for all the kindness and forgiveness he has shown me in the past few years. I hope he will forgive me this as well…
Harry stopped for a moment here, holding his head in his hands as he tried to control his sobs. Severus watched, pained, as Harry got a hold of his emotions once again and continued writing.
I’m sorry, Charlie, that I couldn’t be the lover that you wanted me to be. I’m sorry I couldn’t give back to you all that you have given to me.
I’m sorry Lillia, for leaving you like this. I hope that you will find happiness despite my decisions. Charlie is a wonderful man and I know he will take good care of you.
I’m sorry Ron, and Hermione. I know you won’t understand, but I can’t live like this anymore. I can’t see any way out of this…
Most of all, I’m sorry Severus. I’m sorry for loving you, when I know that you could never love me in return. I’m sorry for trying to change you, and I’m sorry for leaving you like I did. I should have known that I wasn’t worth the effort of returning to.
This time when Harry put down the quill, he was shaking uncontrollably. Severus felt tears welling up in his own eyes as he read the last few sentences.
He saw out of the corner of his eye, that Harry was fumbling in his pockets for something. He pulled out a small vial of blue liquid and picked up the quill once more to write only one word.
Goodbye
With that, Harry dropped the quill and downed the vial of potion. Severus let out a strangled gasp and tried to reach for Harry, but to no avail, his hands went straight through. He tried again, letting out a pained groan as his hands once again, missed their target. On his third try, someone grabbed him. He stared up into the deep green eyes of the black cloaked figure.
“You can’t help him,” she said softly, withdrawing her hood so that he could see her face. It was a face that he recognised immediately and that caused a flood of conflicting emotions to run through him, almost causing him to stagger as a result of their intensity.
“Lily?” he asked weakly.
“Surprise Severus,” she replied darkly.