Comments | hproundrobin: In my Power

phen82 in hproundrobin

In my Power - Chapter 3

Jan 18, 2005 22:47

Ok guys, here is the long awaited 3rd chapter of "In my Power". Sorry it's taken so long, but my life has been really hectic over the past few weeks. I've had to do the jobs of two people or more, and over double my usual hours because of people taking holidays at work. Anyways, here it is and I hope you like it, cause I was actually a bit ( Read more... )

Comments 12

snapesdarkling January 18 2005, 04:09:24 UTC

Way to go! Poor Snape, so damaged and Harry so attentive. Thanks for this!!

phen82 January 19 2005, 00:35:07 UTC

No problems. Glad you liked it!

magdelena1969 January 18 2005, 09:21:39 UTC

Fantastic job! And well worth the wait. Severus pulling back from Harry, not able to eat his meal, requesting Harry to watch over him until he slept...all such powerful things!

I did however notice two little things that either you may want to edit, or let the maintainers edit before they post. First, you have Harry switch on a light instead of use magic. In the first chapter it was stated that Harry and Hermione were teaching at Hogwarts and bringing Severus back there, so it would probably be better to have the sconces automatically light when they enter, or to have Harry cast a spell. Same problem at the end where Hermione apparates away.

Sorry to nitpick, just wanted to help! Other than those two itty things though, it's a wonderful addition to a riveting story. Can't wait to see where we go next.

:) Maggie

phen82 January 19 2005, 00:35:37 UTC

Made the edits, how do you like it now?

magdelena1969 January 19 2005, 06:41:33 UTC

Was already excellent even before the edits, and it's still fantastic now!! I hope you didn't mind me pointing out those things. Believe me, I know how hard it can be to try to integrate every little thing that the previous authors have done in their chapters. It's probably the most challenging, and frustrating, thing about writing for the RR.

You really do write beautifully, and paint a vivid picture of the characters!

:) Maggie

Excellent! goldpemcorgi January 18 2005, 19:31:52 UTC

Excellent work on this chapter. I can picture a long long road before our boys.

One small favor, Please. Would you go back and edit your entry and in the Subject Line put the story title and chapter number. I can't archive it in the memories with out that information in the subject line.

Thanks
Corgi

Re: Excellent! phen82 January 19 2005, 00:36:16 UTC

Thanks. Sorry about the subject line, but lj was stuffing me around when i went to post it. All should be fine now though.

This is very good reddwarfer January 18 2005, 20:27:00 UTC

I really like the idea of Harry taking care of Snape. Poor Snape. He needs some TLC. I hope Harry can get some revenge.

Re: This is very good phen82 January 19 2005, 00:36:46 UTC

Glad you liked it. It's always wonderful to see that someone likes your work.

:D

amandasaitou January 20 2005, 02:12:16 UTC

It is beautiful and sensible, just perfect, really! i also love Harry taking care of Severus, though it pains me to see Sev in such pain... A very well done job! ;)

Amanda