For a_real_phony: Just a Kid, Teddy/Harry
Author: maraudersaffair
Giftee: a_real_phony
Title: Just a Kid
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Teddy/Harry
Era/Time-Frame: Post-Hogwarts, future-fic, and post-epilogue. Teddy is an adult in this fic.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: When Harry divorces Ginny, Teddy moves in with Harry to keep him company. He soon begins to have feelings for his Godfather.
Warnings: Some vulgar language and sexual situations.
Author's Notes: a_real_phony, I hope you enjoy! A great thanks to my beta!
"How the fuck dare she!" Harry paced between two couches, brow furrowed and hands waving dramatically in the air. "Everything we had -- three children, mind you! Seventeen years -- and what do I get? A fucking invitation to that bitch's wedding!"
Teddy looked on with mild concern in his eyes, an expression of suppressed humor smeared across his features. He sat on the edge of the couch, legs stretched out in front of him and crossed at the ankle, his hands resting inside his pockets.
"I can't believe this!" Harry stopped and bent over to grab the parchment he had crumpled and thrown to the floor. He read it over once more and gritted his teeth. Glancing at Teddy, his expression hardened even more, his green eyes glinting. "Don't look at me like that! This is serious business!"
Shrugging, Teddy pulled out a pack of fags and brought one to his mouth, teeth holding it steady as he searched his trouser pocket for his wand. "I dunno, Harry. I mean -- it's been almost a year since you divorced Ginny. And you knew she was with Neville."
Harry sighed deeply, his shoulders slumping forward in defeat. He sat down next to Teddy and scrubbed his face with a hand, fingers sliding up to ruffle his hair. "You're right," he said softly after a moment, leaning back into the cushions and sighing once more. "I can't believe it has affected me like this. The news, I mean."
Teddy offered him the fag and Harry stared at it for a second before nodding. He allowed Teddy to slip it in between his lips and the flame from Teddy's wand reflected against his glasses. Harry drew the smoke deep into his chest, sinking even further into the couch as the nicotine made his eyes grow dim and droop at the corners, relaxing the thin wrinkles that had appeared against his brow and around his mouth.
He watched as Harry's eyes flickered closed, his chest finally slowing to a soft rhythm and his hands going slack against his thighs. He licked his lips and leaned closer to Harry unintentionally, his arm resting where Harry's head laid. Watching him blow smoke from his nose, Teddy thought about the last few months he had stayed with Harry.
Teddy was twenty years old with no inkling as what to do with his life, and when he saw how affected Harry had been -- how lonely he seemed ever since the divorce, he decided to stay with the bloke to cheer him up. It was hard, he had to admit, realizing that depression couldn't be cured with some jokes and a few games of chess, especially with Harry's children at Hogwarts and Ginny shagging Neville. He was surprised Harry hadn't tried anything drastic, like buy a motorcycle or get a tattoo saying, Fuck Cunts.
They fell into a nice routine, sharing daily chores and allowing each other space and time alone. Harry liked spending his days off in the garden, crawling in the dirt or whatever he did out there. It was sunny and too hot, but he enjoyed it and Teddy accepted that because he knew the work kept his mind off the other pressing matters in his life.
Ash from the fag fell onto Harry's shirt and he hastily reached out to wipe it away, his fingers sliding over a hardened chest, thin but not boyish. Harry cracked his eyes open to blink at him, pupils focusing and an expression of confusion disappearing quickly from his face.
"I think you need to sleep," Teddy said, his throat tightening and his fingers slightly trembling. He had no idea what was causing his reaction.
Harry nodded and leaned over to smash the fag into the ashtray before standing up. Stretching, he yawned with a hand covering his mouth. "Goodnight, then," Harry said, his voice thick.
"Yeah, night," Teddy responded, staring at the floor. He blinked and then shook his head, suddenly feeling tired as well.
~*~
Mornings for Teddy started after eleven o'clock and never before then. He had just rolled out of bed, hair rumpled and eyes heavy from sleep, his fingers numb as he toasted some bread with his wand and warmed a pot of tea that Harry had made earlier. The sunlight from an open window hit his face and burned his skin, Teddy squinted through the haze to see Harry on his hands and knees, digging through the black soil of the garden.
Smiling to himself, Teddy shoved the toast into his mouth and grabbed his cup before walking out into the garden, leaving the door wide open. The morning was humid, the moist air pressing into his face and drawing sweat from his skin and under his arms. He slouched down next to Harry, placing his cup on a mound of dirt and swallowing the rest of his meal. Brushing the crumbs from his mouth and hands, he grinned as Harry looked up at him. There was dirt smeared against his glasses.
"You've got something -- right there." He motioned to Harry's eyes.
Harry ignored him, instead looking over his shoulder and scowling slightly. "Why do you insist on leaving that door open? Every door, I should add." He was always in a bad mood in the morning.
Shrugging, Teddy smiled even more, his thin lips stretching over his teeth. "Dunno, never thought about it. Suppose it's less work for me, though. Don't have to turn the knob next time."
"Oh, right," Harry answered, his voice sarcastic. He sat back on his heels and wiped the dirt from his hands on the thighs of his trousers, beads of sweat dotting his brow and rolling down his temple. His tongue played with his bottom lip, swiping quickly over the cracked skin.
"What are you thinking about?" Teddy's eyes were focused on Harry's mouth.
"Nothing," Harry said, looking up at him, his expression distant. He was thinking about Ginny.
Teddy sighed in exasperation, leaning over to take a sip of his tea. The liquid burned his tongue and he spit it out, his features forming an expression of pain. Harry laughed, his voice deep and he leaned back on his hands, stretching his legs into the grass. His trainers were blotched with dried soil and black scuffs, his jeans torn at the ankle and knee.
Something like pleasure erupted inside Teddy's chest as he heard Harry laugh. He mimicked Harry's posture and allowed himself to slide closer to him, their arms brushing slightly. Harry glanced at him from the side, his fingers wrapping around a handful of soil. Laughing even louder, Harry threw the dirt into his face and quickly rolled away, prepared for his retaliation.
Yelling in protest, he lunged for Harry, hands finding their purchase and pushing Harry's arms over his head. Teddy fell on top of him as Harry began to struggle, sweaty limbs sliding against each other and their chests pressing together, movements rushed and mindless. Their eyes met and it was as if the world had ceased to move, both suddenly stilling and a weird, almost aroused feeling crept through Teddy's stomach.
Harry blinked up at him, chest heaving and cheeks flushed, his glasses speckled with dirt and bread crumbs. Feeling his throat tighten, Teddy became aware of the body under him, the hard lines of Harry's thighs and stomach, the smooth skin on his arms and the tiny stubble on his jaw. He gulped and released his hold on Harry, standing without looking at the other man.
Noticeably unhinged, Harry seemed hesitant and embarrassed as well. He crawled to his feet and took off his glasses, cleaning them with his shirt, head tilted downward, something like a blush reddening his face. A moment of silence passed between them, until finally, Teddy turned to him, smiling and he punched him in the arm.
"No more wrestling for you, old man," he said casually, his voice humorous.
Harry's face fell into a miserable, almost painful expression.
~*~
"Let's have a drink."
"Why?" Harry asked through his hands. He sat at the kitchen table, elbows propping up his head and his hands shielding his face. The sound of his voice made Teddy feel like shite, even though he knew Ginny's wedding was to blame for Harry's gloom.
Sighing, Teddy sat down next to Harry, setting the full bottle of Firewhiskey he had bought earlier on the table. Taking out two glasses from his coat pocket, he poured a drink for Harry, then for himself. Harry didn't look up from the table as Teddy pushed the glass toward him.
"Drink this, you tosser." His voice was soft, playful but still warm.
"You got that from Ron," Harry said, grabbing the glass from his hand. Their fingers brushed together and Teddy clenched his teeth as pleasure spiked his stomach. "I just -- just can't believe it's tonight. Why so quickly?" He looked miserably at Teddy.
Teddy shrugged. "Ginny has been with him for months now, it's not like they just met."
"Yeah, but we were together for years before marriage was even discussed! Years!"
Watching his expression, Teddy suddenly felt a peculiar jealousy. Calmly, without drawing attention to his emotions, he asked, "You are not still in love with her, are you?"
The idea that Harry could still have feelings for Ginny made him feel -- angry, betrayed -- for reasons that Teddy didn't want to evaluate at the moment.
Harry drank deeply from his glass before answering. "No, of course not."
"Then what is it? Why are you mopping around? You should be celebrating!"
"What is there to celebrate?"
"Freedom! Another chance at love -- the chance of finding someone new!" Teddy's voice had grown high, his hands gesturing wildly.
Harry finally looked up at him, his eyes guarded and his expression suppressed. "No one will ever fulfill what I want."
Teddy felt his cheeks warm from the intense stare and looked down, fingers tracing the patterns on the table cloth. "You never know, I mean --"
Shaking his head, Harry held up a hand to stop him from continuing to speak. "No, no -- you don't understand. You're just a kid."
Teddy's mouth fell open. "How dare you. I'm not a kid!"
"You are to me. I'm almost forty -- forty. That's double your age, Teddy." Harry's eyes never wavered from Teddy's face, his expression serious.
"Maybe that is one of the reasons why you are unhappy! Making excuses for yourself. Women won't want you if all you do is cry about your age. You are an attractive man, nice and friendly. Anyone would want you!"
Harry had stilled, his eyes and face darkening. He leaned in closer to Teddy. "Anyone?"
"Yeah, anyone."
"Well, then -- fill up my glass! Tonight we drink to a new beginning!"
Laughing, Teddy poured more Firewhiskey into Harry's cup, spilling some of it onto the table. They drank without speaking, both immersed in their own thoughts. It was difficult for Teddy not to allow his mind to stray back to Harry, wondering what he was thinking -- if he was lying to Teddy about not still loving Ginny.
Teddy was unsure why it affected him so much -- the idea of Harry's feelings or even thoughts on another person. He wished he could make Harry happy, completely -- without any memories getting in the way or guilt, or whatever that made Harry feel depressed. But he didn't understand his own thoughts -- why he had been so aware of Harry's presence. It was unnerving, realizing maybe Harry could make him feel the same way a girl would.
As the night went on, Teddy played some music from his wireless and Harry remained at the kitchen table, eyes dimming and his face softening. The Firewhiskey made Teddy dance around the kitchen, swaying his hips back and forth, charming a broom to be his partner.
"You are too fast for me, broom!" Teddy yelled, his cup of whiskey in one hand and his wand in the other, directing the broom to swirl around the room, rubbing up against Harry's arm.
Harry seemed to not notice and Teddy suddenly stopped, allowing the broom to collide with the floor as he walked over and sat down next to Harry.
"You need to loosen up."
Turning his head slowly to stare at Teddy, Harry leaned back in his chair, one hand resting on his thigh and the other cradling his head. His legs were stretched out before him and casually widened, his cheeks flushed and hair ruffled more than ever.
Harry's eyes moved over his face, slowly inspecting Teddy's equally flushed features. He licked his lips unconsciously and continued his gaze down Teddy's chest and to his pants, stopping at his groin. His heart quickening, Teddy allowed his hands to fall to his pants and smooth down the wrinkled material, his fingers brushing the inside of his thighs.
Harry made a noise in the back of his throat, almost like a groan and his head fell backwards, colliding with the hard wood of the chair. His eyes twisted closed, and he gasped softly, hands tugging at his shirt. Teddy thought to speak but his throat was too dry, the words unable to form correctly.
Pulling himself up, Harry struggled to keep his balance, his glasses falling down his nose. He breathed in deeply and stared down at Teddy. Eyes widening, Harry bent down and caressed Teddy's cheek with his fingers, the touch warming Teddy's skin and making his heart pound in his chest.
"Harry," Teddy whispered, but he had already straightened up. Before Teddy could wrap his mind around the situation, Harry was already gone, his heavy footsteps echoing on the stairs.
~*~
Laying on his bed, Teddy thought about the night before, his head still foggy from all the Firewhiskey he had consumed and the ghost of touch against his cheek, how warm Harry's fingers had been. It was as if his mind had worked out a riddle while he was asleep, because now he understood his feelings for Harry. His sexual feelings for him.
Harry. The person who should have been his father figure.
Groaning, Teddy smashed his face into his pillow and tried to wipe all thoughts of Harry from his mind. It was disgusting for a man to want another man - immoral. People didn't just go around and decide to shag their Godfather, normal people at least. He didn't believe his own mind, his own desires -- he had never wanted to shag Harry before. What had changed?
The way he looked at you. He wants you.
Teddy pressed his fingers into his eyes, light exploding just behind his closed lids. The man had been drunk -- he wasn't thinking probably, depressed and lonely -- it would make anyone randy for their own Godson! His skin itched to be touched, to be caressed -- god, he wanted to feel the warmth of Harry's hand again, even if it just meant him touching his arm or fingers.
"Fuck," Teddy whispered, rolling off his bed to walk over to his wardrobe. Flinging open drawers, he finally found the photograph that he had been looking for. It was of Harry around his age, young and fit, just after he had vanquished Voldemort. He had been a hero -- strong and intelligent, someone who commanded attention and desire.
Teddy dropped back down to his bed, resting on his back as he stared with unblinking eyes at the photograph. He took in the sight of Harry's fresh face and bright eyes, his hair thicker and arms and legs slimmer. The man had been a damn straw. Teddy couldn't help but feel aroused by the image, his skin warming and sweat appearing along his hairline.
Slowly and without thinking, he pressed his lips into the photograph, his mind dreaming. If only Harry was his age -- if only he wasn't his Godfather and not stuck on a stupid twat like Ginny. He wished he didn't feel such deep guilt from having these feelings, for wanting the person he desired. His hand slid under his shirt and caressed his cold stomach as his mouth moved over the photograph. He didn't dare allow himself to fully masturbate to the thought of Harry, but his fingers skimmed over his groin, the rough material of his jeans chafing his fingertips.
He wanted Harry, but did he didn't know if he had the courage to confront him.
~*~
"You should do these fucking dishes," Harry yelled over his shoulder, as he stood at the sink, hands immersed in soapy water and scrubbing the remaining spaghetti off the plates.
Teddy leaned against the door frame, watching the muscles in Harry's back as he worked, his throat becoming dry and his expression one of pain. Anxiety drummed inside his chest and he took a step forward, reaching silently out with a hand to Harry.
Taking a deep breath, he dropped his hand and continued to walk toward Harry, his mind stalling and the image of Harry as a teenager reeling just behind his closed eyelids. He gulped, almost hyperventilating and hesitated before pressing into Harry, his chest resting against Harry's back.
Harry instantly stilled, his hands going slack in the water and his head tilting slightly backward against Teddy. He gasped.
"What are you doing?"
Teddy didn't answer as he pressed his face against Harry's hair, breathing in the scent of him and allowing his groin to rub into Harry's thighs. His hands slid into the soapy water and curled around Harry's, aligning their bodies; Teddy felt his thundering heart, could hear his breath quicken.
Without warning, Harry spun him around, shoving Teddy against the sink and grabbing a fistful of his shirt. "Stop this, right now! This is wrong!"
Stunned, Teddy was unable to speak. He just stared into Harry's eyes for a moment before kissing him full on the lips, not caring if Harry tried to push him away. The air around them intensified, and Harry parted his lips, allowing Teddy to slip his tongue through and moan softly.
Harry began to kiss him back, forcibly, without hesitating. His hold on Teddy's shirt tightened and he couldn't help but moan as Harry thrust into him. After a moment, he pulled away from Teddy, his eyes staring down at the floor.
"Please," Teddy murmured, leaning in to kiss him again.
Harry put a hand on his chest. "But -- I'm your --"
"Godfather, I know."
Harry took Teddy's head in his hands and stared hard into his eyes. "It's wrong."
Teddy ignored him. "Do you want me?"
Closing his eyes and breathing in deeply, Harry nodded.
"Then what's the problem?"
"This is wrong."
"But you want me -- and I want you. Why should anything else matter? Tell me."
Harry pushed him away gently. "Don't tell anyone about this. Please."
Anger flared inside Teddy. "Should I move out?"
"What -- no, of course not!"
Teddy gritted his teeth, frowning deeply. "Fine, I'll move out and you can just continue to be depressed. How does that sound?"
"Look, Teddy -- understand, please --"
"No, you understand!" Teddy said, his voice strained. "I could make you happy, I could be everything Ginny wasn't!" He felt exposed, betrayed and something like hatred coursed through his veins.
Harry's voice was soft. "No, you can't be. You're not a woman."
Glaring at Harry, Teddy shoved him out of the way and quickly walked out of the room. He climbed the stairs three at a time, and flung open the door to his room. Summoning all of his belongings, he packed without thinking, ignoring Harry's shouts from the bottom of the stairs.
Fuck you, he thought as he grabbed his broom and climbed out of the window, a bag resting on his shoulder. He mounted his broom and pushed off, his ears ringing and angry tears stinging his eyes.
He had to get away for a couple of days.
Giftee: a_real_phony
Title: Just a Kid
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Teddy/Harry
Era/Time-Frame: Post-Hogwarts, future-fic, and post-epilogue. Teddy is an adult in this fic.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: When Harry divorces Ginny, Teddy moves in with Harry to keep him company. He soon begins to have feelings for his Godfather.
Warnings: Some vulgar language and sexual situations.
Author's Notes: a_real_phony, I hope you enjoy! A great thanks to my beta!
"How the fuck dare she!" Harry paced between two couches, brow furrowed and hands waving dramatically in the air. "Everything we had -- three children, mind you! Seventeen years -- and what do I get? A fucking invitation to that bitch's wedding!"
Teddy looked on with mild concern in his eyes, an expression of suppressed humor smeared across his features. He sat on the edge of the couch, legs stretched out in front of him and crossed at the ankle, his hands resting inside his pockets.
"I can't believe this!" Harry stopped and bent over to grab the parchment he had crumpled and thrown to the floor. He read it over once more and gritted his teeth. Glancing at Teddy, his expression hardened even more, his green eyes glinting. "Don't look at me like that! This is serious business!"
Shrugging, Teddy pulled out a pack of fags and brought one to his mouth, teeth holding it steady as he searched his trouser pocket for his wand. "I dunno, Harry. I mean -- it's been almost a year since you divorced Ginny. And you knew she was with Neville."
Harry sighed deeply, his shoulders slumping forward in defeat. He sat down next to Teddy and scrubbed his face with a hand, fingers sliding up to ruffle his hair. "You're right," he said softly after a moment, leaning back into the cushions and sighing once more. "I can't believe it has affected me like this. The news, I mean."
Teddy offered him the fag and Harry stared at it for a second before nodding. He allowed Teddy to slip it in between his lips and the flame from Teddy's wand reflected against his glasses. Harry drew the smoke deep into his chest, sinking even further into the couch as the nicotine made his eyes grow dim and droop at the corners, relaxing the thin wrinkles that had appeared against his brow and around his mouth.
He watched as Harry's eyes flickered closed, his chest finally slowing to a soft rhythm and his hands going slack against his thighs. He licked his lips and leaned closer to Harry unintentionally, his arm resting where Harry's head laid. Watching him blow smoke from his nose, Teddy thought about the last few months he had stayed with Harry.
Teddy was twenty years old with no inkling as what to do with his life, and when he saw how affected Harry had been -- how lonely he seemed ever since the divorce, he decided to stay with the bloke to cheer him up. It was hard, he had to admit, realizing that depression couldn't be cured with some jokes and a few games of chess, especially with Harry's children at Hogwarts and Ginny shagging Neville. He was surprised Harry hadn't tried anything drastic, like buy a motorcycle or get a tattoo saying, Fuck Cunts.
They fell into a nice routine, sharing daily chores and allowing each other space and time alone. Harry liked spending his days off in the garden, crawling in the dirt or whatever he did out there. It was sunny and too hot, but he enjoyed it and Teddy accepted that because he knew the work kept his mind off the other pressing matters in his life.
Ash from the fag fell onto Harry's shirt and he hastily reached out to wipe it away, his fingers sliding over a hardened chest, thin but not boyish. Harry cracked his eyes open to blink at him, pupils focusing and an expression of confusion disappearing quickly from his face.
"I think you need to sleep," Teddy said, his throat tightening and his fingers slightly trembling. He had no idea what was causing his reaction.
Harry nodded and leaned over to smash the fag into the ashtray before standing up. Stretching, he yawned with a hand covering his mouth. "Goodnight, then," Harry said, his voice thick.
"Yeah, night," Teddy responded, staring at the floor. He blinked and then shook his head, suddenly feeling tired as well.
~*~
Mornings for Teddy started after eleven o'clock and never before then. He had just rolled out of bed, hair rumpled and eyes heavy from sleep, his fingers numb as he toasted some bread with his wand and warmed a pot of tea that Harry had made earlier. The sunlight from an open window hit his face and burned his skin, Teddy squinted through the haze to see Harry on his hands and knees, digging through the black soil of the garden.
Smiling to himself, Teddy shoved the toast into his mouth and grabbed his cup before walking out into the garden, leaving the door wide open. The morning was humid, the moist air pressing into his face and drawing sweat from his skin and under his arms. He slouched down next to Harry, placing his cup on a mound of dirt and swallowing the rest of his meal. Brushing the crumbs from his mouth and hands, he grinned as Harry looked up at him. There was dirt smeared against his glasses.
"You've got something -- right there." He motioned to Harry's eyes.
Harry ignored him, instead looking over his shoulder and scowling slightly. "Why do you insist on leaving that door open? Every door, I should add." He was always in a bad mood in the morning.
Shrugging, Teddy smiled even more, his thin lips stretching over his teeth. "Dunno, never thought about it. Suppose it's less work for me, though. Don't have to turn the knob next time."
"Oh, right," Harry answered, his voice sarcastic. He sat back on his heels and wiped the dirt from his hands on the thighs of his trousers, beads of sweat dotting his brow and rolling down his temple. His tongue played with his bottom lip, swiping quickly over the cracked skin.
"What are you thinking about?" Teddy's eyes were focused on Harry's mouth.
"Nothing," Harry said, looking up at him, his expression distant. He was thinking about Ginny.
Teddy sighed in exasperation, leaning over to take a sip of his tea. The liquid burned his tongue and he spit it out, his features forming an expression of pain. Harry laughed, his voice deep and he leaned back on his hands, stretching his legs into the grass. His trainers were blotched with dried soil and black scuffs, his jeans torn at the ankle and knee.
Something like pleasure erupted inside Teddy's chest as he heard Harry laugh. He mimicked Harry's posture and allowed himself to slide closer to him, their arms brushing slightly. Harry glanced at him from the side, his fingers wrapping around a handful of soil. Laughing even louder, Harry threw the dirt into his face and quickly rolled away, prepared for his retaliation.
Yelling in protest, he lunged for Harry, hands finding their purchase and pushing Harry's arms over his head. Teddy fell on top of him as Harry began to struggle, sweaty limbs sliding against each other and their chests pressing together, movements rushed and mindless. Their eyes met and it was as if the world had ceased to move, both suddenly stilling and a weird, almost aroused feeling crept through Teddy's stomach.
Harry blinked up at him, chest heaving and cheeks flushed, his glasses speckled with dirt and bread crumbs. Feeling his throat tighten, Teddy became aware of the body under him, the hard lines of Harry's thighs and stomach, the smooth skin on his arms and the tiny stubble on his jaw. He gulped and released his hold on Harry, standing without looking at the other man.
Noticeably unhinged, Harry seemed hesitant and embarrassed as well. He crawled to his feet and took off his glasses, cleaning them with his shirt, head tilted downward, something like a blush reddening his face. A moment of silence passed between them, until finally, Teddy turned to him, smiling and he punched him in the arm.
"No more wrestling for you, old man," he said casually, his voice humorous.
Harry's face fell into a miserable, almost painful expression.
~*~
"Let's have a drink."
"Why?" Harry asked through his hands. He sat at the kitchen table, elbows propping up his head and his hands shielding his face. The sound of his voice made Teddy feel like shite, even though he knew Ginny's wedding was to blame for Harry's gloom.
Sighing, Teddy sat down next to Harry, setting the full bottle of Firewhiskey he had bought earlier on the table. Taking out two glasses from his coat pocket, he poured a drink for Harry, then for himself. Harry didn't look up from the table as Teddy pushed the glass toward him.
"Drink this, you tosser." His voice was soft, playful but still warm.
"You got that from Ron," Harry said, grabbing the glass from his hand. Their fingers brushed together and Teddy clenched his teeth as pleasure spiked his stomach. "I just -- just can't believe it's tonight. Why so quickly?" He looked miserably at Teddy.
Teddy shrugged. "Ginny has been with him for months now, it's not like they just met."
"Yeah, but we were together for years before marriage was even discussed! Years!"
Watching his expression, Teddy suddenly felt a peculiar jealousy. Calmly, without drawing attention to his emotions, he asked, "You are not still in love with her, are you?"
The idea that Harry could still have feelings for Ginny made him feel -- angry, betrayed -- for reasons that Teddy didn't want to evaluate at the moment.
Harry drank deeply from his glass before answering. "No, of course not."
"Then what is it? Why are you mopping around? You should be celebrating!"
"What is there to celebrate?"
"Freedom! Another chance at love -- the chance of finding someone new!" Teddy's voice had grown high, his hands gesturing wildly.
Harry finally looked up at him, his eyes guarded and his expression suppressed. "No one will ever fulfill what I want."
Teddy felt his cheeks warm from the intense stare and looked down, fingers tracing the patterns on the table cloth. "You never know, I mean --"
Shaking his head, Harry held up a hand to stop him from continuing to speak. "No, no -- you don't understand. You're just a kid."
Teddy's mouth fell open. "How dare you. I'm not a kid!"
"You are to me. I'm almost forty -- forty. That's double your age, Teddy." Harry's eyes never wavered from Teddy's face, his expression serious.
"Maybe that is one of the reasons why you are unhappy! Making excuses for yourself. Women won't want you if all you do is cry about your age. You are an attractive man, nice and friendly. Anyone would want you!"
Harry had stilled, his eyes and face darkening. He leaned in closer to Teddy. "Anyone?"
"Yeah, anyone."
"Well, then -- fill up my glass! Tonight we drink to a new beginning!"
Laughing, Teddy poured more Firewhiskey into Harry's cup, spilling some of it onto the table. They drank without speaking, both immersed in their own thoughts. It was difficult for Teddy not to allow his mind to stray back to Harry, wondering what he was thinking -- if he was lying to Teddy about not still loving Ginny.
Teddy was unsure why it affected him so much -- the idea of Harry's feelings or even thoughts on another person. He wished he could make Harry happy, completely -- without any memories getting in the way or guilt, or whatever that made Harry feel depressed. But he didn't understand his own thoughts -- why he had been so aware of Harry's presence. It was unnerving, realizing maybe Harry could make him feel the same way a girl would.
As the night went on, Teddy played some music from his wireless and Harry remained at the kitchen table, eyes dimming and his face softening. The Firewhiskey made Teddy dance around the kitchen, swaying his hips back and forth, charming a broom to be his partner.
"You are too fast for me, broom!" Teddy yelled, his cup of whiskey in one hand and his wand in the other, directing the broom to swirl around the room, rubbing up against Harry's arm.
Harry seemed to not notice and Teddy suddenly stopped, allowing the broom to collide with the floor as he walked over and sat down next to Harry.
"You need to loosen up."
Turning his head slowly to stare at Teddy, Harry leaned back in his chair, one hand resting on his thigh and the other cradling his head. His legs were stretched out before him and casually widened, his cheeks flushed and hair ruffled more than ever.
Harry's eyes moved over his face, slowly inspecting Teddy's equally flushed features. He licked his lips unconsciously and continued his gaze down Teddy's chest and to his pants, stopping at his groin. His heart quickening, Teddy allowed his hands to fall to his pants and smooth down the wrinkled material, his fingers brushing the inside of his thighs.
Harry made a noise in the back of his throat, almost like a groan and his head fell backwards, colliding with the hard wood of the chair. His eyes twisted closed, and he gasped softly, hands tugging at his shirt. Teddy thought to speak but his throat was too dry, the words unable to form correctly.
Pulling himself up, Harry struggled to keep his balance, his glasses falling down his nose. He breathed in deeply and stared down at Teddy. Eyes widening, Harry bent down and caressed Teddy's cheek with his fingers, the touch warming Teddy's skin and making his heart pound in his chest.
"Harry," Teddy whispered, but he had already straightened up. Before Teddy could wrap his mind around the situation, Harry was already gone, his heavy footsteps echoing on the stairs.
~*~
Laying on his bed, Teddy thought about the night before, his head still foggy from all the Firewhiskey he had consumed and the ghost of touch against his cheek, how warm Harry's fingers had been. It was as if his mind had worked out a riddle while he was asleep, because now he understood his feelings for Harry. His sexual feelings for him.
Harry. The person who should have been his father figure.
Groaning, Teddy smashed his face into his pillow and tried to wipe all thoughts of Harry from his mind. It was disgusting for a man to want another man - immoral. People didn't just go around and decide to shag their Godfather, normal people at least. He didn't believe his own mind, his own desires -- he had never wanted to shag Harry before. What had changed?
The way he looked at you. He wants you.
Teddy pressed his fingers into his eyes, light exploding just behind his closed lids. The man had been drunk -- he wasn't thinking probably, depressed and lonely -- it would make anyone randy for their own Godson! His skin itched to be touched, to be caressed -- god, he wanted to feel the warmth of Harry's hand again, even if it just meant him touching his arm or fingers.
"Fuck," Teddy whispered, rolling off his bed to walk over to his wardrobe. Flinging open drawers, he finally found the photograph that he had been looking for. It was of Harry around his age, young and fit, just after he had vanquished Voldemort. He had been a hero -- strong and intelligent, someone who commanded attention and desire.
Teddy dropped back down to his bed, resting on his back as he stared with unblinking eyes at the photograph. He took in the sight of Harry's fresh face and bright eyes, his hair thicker and arms and legs slimmer. The man had been a damn straw. Teddy couldn't help but feel aroused by the image, his skin warming and sweat appearing along his hairline.
Slowly and without thinking, he pressed his lips into the photograph, his mind dreaming. If only Harry was his age -- if only he wasn't his Godfather and not stuck on a stupid twat like Ginny. He wished he didn't feel such deep guilt from having these feelings, for wanting the person he desired. His hand slid under his shirt and caressed his cold stomach as his mouth moved over the photograph. He didn't dare allow himself to fully masturbate to the thought of Harry, but his fingers skimmed over his groin, the rough material of his jeans chafing his fingertips.
He wanted Harry, but did he didn't know if he had the courage to confront him.
~*~
"You should do these fucking dishes," Harry yelled over his shoulder, as he stood at the sink, hands immersed in soapy water and scrubbing the remaining spaghetti off the plates.
Teddy leaned against the door frame, watching the muscles in Harry's back as he worked, his throat becoming dry and his expression one of pain. Anxiety drummed inside his chest and he took a step forward, reaching silently out with a hand to Harry.
Taking a deep breath, he dropped his hand and continued to walk toward Harry, his mind stalling and the image of Harry as a teenager reeling just behind his closed eyelids. He gulped, almost hyperventilating and hesitated before pressing into Harry, his chest resting against Harry's back.
Harry instantly stilled, his hands going slack in the water and his head tilting slightly backward against Teddy. He gasped.
"What are you doing?"
Teddy didn't answer as he pressed his face against Harry's hair, breathing in the scent of him and allowing his groin to rub into Harry's thighs. His hands slid into the soapy water and curled around Harry's, aligning their bodies; Teddy felt his thundering heart, could hear his breath quicken.
Without warning, Harry spun him around, shoving Teddy against the sink and grabbing a fistful of his shirt. "Stop this, right now! This is wrong!"
Stunned, Teddy was unable to speak. He just stared into Harry's eyes for a moment before kissing him full on the lips, not caring if Harry tried to push him away. The air around them intensified, and Harry parted his lips, allowing Teddy to slip his tongue through and moan softly.
Harry began to kiss him back, forcibly, without hesitating. His hold on Teddy's shirt tightened and he couldn't help but moan as Harry thrust into him. After a moment, he pulled away from Teddy, his eyes staring down at the floor.
"Please," Teddy murmured, leaning in to kiss him again.
Harry put a hand on his chest. "But -- I'm your --"
"Godfather, I know."
Harry took Teddy's head in his hands and stared hard into his eyes. "It's wrong."
Teddy ignored him. "Do you want me?"
Closing his eyes and breathing in deeply, Harry nodded.
"Then what's the problem?"
"This is wrong."
"But you want me -- and I want you. Why should anything else matter? Tell me."
Harry pushed him away gently. "Don't tell anyone about this. Please."
Anger flared inside Teddy. "Should I move out?"
"What -- no, of course not!"
Teddy gritted his teeth, frowning deeply. "Fine, I'll move out and you can just continue to be depressed. How does that sound?"
"Look, Teddy -- understand, please --"
"No, you understand!" Teddy said, his voice strained. "I could make you happy, I could be everything Ginny wasn't!" He felt exposed, betrayed and something like hatred coursed through his veins.
Harry's voice was soft. "No, you can't be. You're not a woman."
Glaring at Harry, Teddy shoved him out of the way and quickly walked out of the room. He climbed the stairs three at a time, and flung open the door to his room. Summoning all of his belongings, he packed without thinking, ignoring Harry's shouts from the bottom of the stairs.
Fuck you, he thought as he grabbed his broom and climbed out of the window, a bag resting on his shoulder. He mounted his broom and pushed off, his ears ringing and angry tears stinging his eyes.
He had to get away for a couple of days.